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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24976069">Viktuuri, As Much As Life Goes On</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadziaLahn/pseuds/JadziaLahn'>JadziaLahn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Children of Characters, Cute Kids, Established Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Eventual Smut, First Time, Fluff and Smut, How Do I Tag, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kissing, Life Partners, M/M, Making Love, Multi, Past Rape/Non-con, Phichit Chulanont Is a Good Friend, Slice of Life, Smut, True Love, Yuri Plisetsky Swears</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:55:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>93,628</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24976069</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadziaLahn/pseuds/JadziaLahn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Through thick and thin, love carries on. It's not like a stepping stone you can just miss after going to the next one, It's more like a cliff you fall off of till your end. Things sometimes don't work out the way things are planned, I should know that, because I loved him, as much as life goes on....</p><p>-Viktor Nikiforov-</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Description: (In case you didn't read)</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <em>
      <b>(THIS FANFIC IS CURRENTLY A RE-WRITE (PREVIOUSLY WAS ON AO3) UNTIL 2021, UNLESS THIS NOTE IS TAKEN OFF).</b>
    </em>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>If you choose to continue to read it, that's fine, it's just some chapters won't be out like they were before, so be cautious. </b>
  </em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 1, The Reveal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>- Return From Barcelona<br/>- Yuuri's family finds out about engagement</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b> <em> <span class="u">THIS FANFIC IS CURRENTLY UNDER RE-WRITE  (WAS ON AO3 BEFORE I DELETED IT) UNTIL 2021, UNLESS THIS NOTE IS TAKEN OFF.</span> </em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>If you choose to continue to read it, that's fine, it's just some chapters won't be out like they were before, so be cautious. </em> </b>
</p><p>-</p><p>"Welcome Home Yuuri!!" My family yelled, I had won the silver medal yeah, and that's why they're all excited. But I was more excited to announce something else.</p><p>Something only Minako and Mari knew, my fiancé Viktor Nikiforov.</p><p>"I can't believe you won that medal Yuuri! You're sure to have a bunch of bowls stacked up of katsudon!" My mom said aloud, bringing me to a tight hug.</p><p><em>I also won something else.</em><br/>
I thought, looking at Viktor bringing in the luggage.</p><p>"You're so quiet, it's weird... What's going on?" Mari asked me; currently standing with confetti in my hair.</p><p>"Oh! Umm..." I paused out of nervousness, my heart beating from anxiety.</p><p>"You've won a whole medal, and broke the world record! Shouldn't you be celebrating?" Minako determined, sake in hand.</p><p>"What is it Yuuri?" My father said, I gulped, blushing my head off, at least that's how it felt.</p><p>"Yuuri?..." Viktor paused, putting a hand on my shoulder, I looked at my Mom and Dad again.</p><p>"M-mom um Dad?" I stuttered.</p><p>"Yeah?" Both of them chimed.</p><p>"T-This is my F-fiancé....Viktor" I barely said.</p><p>
  <em>I don't think anyone heard that.</em>
</p><p>"What?" Minako tilted her head.</p><p>"Mom, Dad" I grabbed their attention. "This is my fiancé Viktor...." I said pulling him next to me.</p><p>Everyone paused, looking at us.</p><p>"You weren't joking when you said that was an Engagement ring..." Mari said, breaking the silence.</p><p>"AH!!" My family squealed, they all hugged us.</p><p>"Awe...." Minami sighed, he hugged me also.</p><p>"G-Guys!" I stuttered, being hugged to death.</p><p>"KISS KISS KISS!!" The triplets yelled, phones in hand.</p><p>"Ok, ok guys!" I yelled to my family to get off of me.</p><p>"I wanna see your ring!!" Yuuko yelled, grabbing my right hand, she took off the glove.</p><p>I chuckled as she examined the plain ring.<br/>
"Omg who asked first!?" She asked, looking up at me.</p><p>"That would be Yuuri...." Viktor said showing his ring as well.</p><p>"When are you planning to have the wedding!?" My mom asked, still very much excited.</p><p>Viktor looked at me, we both blushed painfully red. "U-um we haven't exactly planned y-yet" He swallowed guilt.</p><p>"It's time for Wedding planning!" Minami screamed, my family slowly joining in.</p><p>"I wonder what the colors will be?" Yuuko thought out loud.</p><p>"You know, Yuuri's always looked good in blue!" Minako added on.</p><p>"Something elegant... " My mom cupped her face in adorance.</p><p>"We could have something traditional!" My dad added in.</p><p>I was getting swallowed by opinions, and honestly, with my problems, it wasn't making my anxiety any better. It was getting too much, all at once.</p><p>"Yuuri?" Viktor tapped my shoulder. "Are you okay?"</p><p>"I just... I wanted to come home like normal, it's already bad enough from the opinions through the media... And once they find out about our engagement..." I trailed off.</p><p>"Of course Yuuri...you deserve the break..." My mom said, the whole family agreeing.</p><p>"I'm sorry we made you feel pressured" Yuuko smiled apologetically.</p><p>"Now come on! Let's celebrate!" My mom brought the whole family together into the living room.</p><p>It was all decorated and nicely put together, it must have caused my mom a lot of trouble to give such a nice welcome home present.</p><p>"Thank you guys so much...." I said, taking bite out of the dip,</p><p>Viktor sat next to me, turning my head, he ate the chip that hung from my mouth. "Vkusno...." He said quietly, I blushed so red, the dip was jealous.</p><p>"Viktor!" I freaked out several seconds later, it wasn't like I was slow, I just, needed a minute to process things, and Viktor never gave a second.</p><p>"What?" He giggled, staring into my eyes.</p><p>"You know what" I sarcastically scoffed.</p><p>"Who? me?" He chuckled lightly, "I wouldn't do anything" He whistled gently, wrapping his arms around me.</p><p>"You're not slick"</p><p>"I'm as slick and sly as a fox Yuuri, don't you know that?" He romantically put it.</p><p>"You're as slick as sandpaper" I deadpanned.</p><p>"Liar" He whispered in my ear, pecking my cheek gently.</p><p>"Viktor, my parents!" I argued.</p><p>"It's fine, you two are going to be married after all, not that I would've guessed that" My father said, drinking down sake.The whole table laughed.</p><p>"Yeah no one ever guessed this would happen" Yuuko said, sitting at the table as well. I stared down at my plate.</p><p>"Neither did I..." I said scratching the back of my head.</p><p>"Hey Viktor?" Yuuko spoke.</p><p>"Hmm?" He hummed in suspicion.</p><p>"Weird question... " She paused, "Not that it's my place, but, when exactly did you fall in love with Yuuri?" She asked, I was a little curious also, on that note.</p><p>"Huh....First time I caught feelings for him was at the Sochi Banquet Party... " He paused.</p><p>"That one Yuuri got drunk at?" Mari asked.</p><p>"Yeah, that one... " He trailed off. "As for love, that came around during the Cup of China"</p><p>"I won't forget that night, I barely got any sleep, and neither did Yuuri, we were both so worried" He answered.</p><p>"Yuuri kinda favored you his whole life, I still remember all the posters he used to have hanging...god where those a fortune..." Minako blurted, a little buzzed.</p><p>"Minako!" I yelled, embarrassed.</p><p>"Used to?" He questioned.</p><p>"Yeah....had about- uh 20 or so..." She slurred.</p><p>"Minnnnnaaakkooo!" I yelled again, throwing a chip at her.</p><p>"Yuuri? Why'd you hide them?" My mother questioned.</p><p>"Cause....it would be creepy if Viktor came in my room as my brand new coach and saw t-that" I said through my cupped face.</p><p>"I want to see the posters..." Viktor said, looking at me, my mom got up heading toward the hallway.</p><p>"Nononononono!" I said trying to drag her back, away from my room.</p><p>"Don't be so embarrassed Yuuri, here"<br/>
He said handing me his phone, I looked at the photo album titled 'Banquet Party', clicking on it I found photos of me.</p><p>"Those are 2 years old now, if that makes you feel any better..." Viktor said next to me.</p><p><em>He had photos of me on his phone for a year and never deleted them!? They're all photos of me</em>. I blushed, my mom came back with a stack.</p><p>"Pleeeeeaassse put them back..." I said, trying to cover them up in her hands.</p><p>"Here ya go Vicchan!" My mom practically threw them to him, I sat and sulked at the surrounded posters.</p><p>"Ooh!" Viktor said, picking them up.</p><p>
  <em>I want to crawl under a rock and die, I can't believe my mom did that.</em>
</p><p>"You have ones from when I was 15...god, my hair was super long!" Viktor said, holding an old one.</p><p>
  <em>Please kill me.</em>
</p><p>"Like starlight..." I blurted aloud, I covered my mouth and blushed even more red.</p><p>"Huh?" Viktor hummed.</p><p>"He said It's like starlight!" One of the triplets said. I wish I kept my mouth shut.</p><p>"Thank you...maybe that's why your hair is black as night" He said, running his delicate fingers through my hair before turning to another poster.</p><p>
  <em>I love him too much for my own good</em>
</p><p>"My second medal..." He said holding it up, I stared at the poster</p><p>
  <em>What is life? </em>
</p><p>"Done!" Viktor said putting down the 23rd poster.</p><p>"You can have them back!" He said, passing the stack to me.</p><p>"Why would I want these? I have the real thing as my fiance..." I mumbled aloud, putting the stack down next to me.</p><p>"Oh! Can we do what we did last year!?" Yuuko jumped.</p><p>"Oh! Yeah that was pretty fun..." Minako said, swaying.</p><p>"What are you guys talking about?" I questioned, looking at all the laughing taking place.</p><p>"You'll find out soon..." Takeshi said, my father got up and went to the storage room.</p><p>"What's happening?" Viktor whispered in my ear.</p><p>"I don't know.." I whispered back, Viktor sneaking another kiss on my cheek.</p><p>"I'm Baack!" My dad yelled with binders.</p><p>
  <em>Oh no, they did not</em>
</p><p>I jumped out my seat and tackled my father for the binders, grabbing them.</p><p>"Nonononono! Hell No!" I squealed, holding the binders tight.</p><p>"What is it Yuuri?" Viktor yelled from his seat.</p><p>"Nothing!!" I yelled, holding the plastic against my chest.</p><p>"Now look here Yuuri, Viktor will see them sooner or later so you can't hide them forever..."My mother stated, grabbing at the binders.</p><p><em>I hate when she's right. </em>I handed her all 4 of the binders.</p><p>"Come over Vicchan..." My father said, motioning him over. They opened the first binder.</p><p>"Oh! Would you look at that! There's Yuuri as a baby!" Yuuko said pointing at the Hospital photo.</p><p>"Yuuri's soooo cute..." Minami squealed, Viktor sat in awe, memorizing the pictures. They flipped the page.</p><p>"Yuuri's first bath..." My mom said pointing.</p><p>
  <em>Why!? Do you hate me god!?</em>
</p><p>"Honey? Remember how Yuuri used to crawl out the bath and yell 'fish outta water'?" My mother said, my father nodded in response as everyone laughed.</p><p>"I remember this!!" Mari said pointing to a picture of my first steps.</p><p>"Oh! And here he is eating his first Katsudon!" My mother said, pointing.</p><p>"There's his 1st birthday!" Yuuko said flipping the page.</p><p>"He looks so happy!" Minami said.</p><p>"And there's his first time skating, I swore as soon as he learned to walk...he was skating" Mari said, tapping the binder, everyone nodded in agreement.</p><p>"I remember that!" Mari yelled pointing at the old playground photo.</p><p>"Yep, then two years later those bastards tore it down..." I said looking at the picture.</p><p>"Oh! This is when you were able to move on the ice..." Yuuko said, they flipped the page.</p><p>"My third birthday..." I said looking at the party photos.</p><p>"I remember Mari threw the cake in your face..." My father said, I laughed.</p><p>"I wailed so much...and then I ate the cake, my mood changed so quick..." I said pointing to me crying.</p><p>"You cry a lot..." Viktor said.</p><p>"Yeah, but then..." I said, turning the page. "Something always changes my sadness"</p><p>"First day of Pre-Primary...god you cried all the way there.." Mari stated.</p><p>"Total crybaby, I remember that" Minako said.</p><p>"But if anyone made you cry..." My mother paused.</p><p>"We'd kick some ass I tell you that!" Minako slurred, drinking.</p><p>"Yep!" Yuuko agreed, we flipped some more pages.</p><p>"First grade- I swear you were your heaviest then" Mari said, pointing at the school photo.</p><p>"Hey!" I whined, we went to the next binder.</p><p>"6th grade graduation, and Mari's diploma!" My mom said excitedly.</p><p>"Yuuri, you look so cute..." Viktor said pointing to the photo.</p><p>"Ugh, 7th grade!" I said looking at the photo, I flipped the page.</p><p>"There's me competing in the Junior Japan Skating Competition..." I said pointing to the photos.</p><p>"And you won gold" Viktor said pointing to the podium picture.</p><p>"Yep! And then I graduated Junior High" I said, flipping the page, I grabbed the next binder.</p><p>"High school." I said bluntly.</p><p>"Freshman year... Ugh! I hated that school"<br/>
I said flipping through the pages.</p><p>"And that's why we moved you" My mother said, I stopped at my Sophomore picture.</p><p>"Someone hit puberty...." Viktor said looking at the picture.</p><p>"Ugh! Ewwww" I said looking at my figure.</p><p>"The struggle of finding good pants for your legs was hell!" My mom said.</p><p>"And my shirts fit, but were too long" I said, I flipped the page.</p><p>"I hated Junior year...Yuuko graduated and I had no friends" I said looking blankly at the picture.</p><p>"And that continued through Senior year.."<br/>
Yuuko said, flipping the page.</p><p>"And there I graduated" I said pointing to the photo.</p><p>"Done!" Minami yelled.</p><p>"What about the other binder?" Viktor questioned.</p><p>"That's just College, not really important"<br/>
I said grabbing the binders, I put them away.</p><p>"Hey how about we all head to bed?" I asked, looking at the empty food dishes, and a passed out Minako.</p><p>"Sounds good to me" My mom said, I grabbed the dishes along with her, cleaning them.</p><p>"Minami is staying tonight by the way" My mother said beside me, cleaning a dish.</p><p>"Oh! In the extra room?" I questioned drying a dish.</p><p>"Mhm..." My mother nodded, I finished up the last dish, walking in the living room.</p><p>"I promise I'll take care of him-" Viktor said mid conversation.</p><p>"Thank you, Viktor" My father said, I tapped Viktor's shoulder.</p><p>"Bed?" He questioned, I nodded, as we headed back to my room, I closed the door.</p><p>"What were you and my dad talking about?" I questioned.</p><p>"I asked for his Son's hand in marriage, and he said yes..." Viktor said, I looked at him and smiled.</p><p>I got on my tippy toes and kissed him, full on, "I wanted to do that all day" I said breaking the kiss, I hugged him.</p><p>"I love you Viktor..." I blushed.</p><p>"I love you too, Yuuri" I heard in response, I grabbed him pulling him to bed.</p><p>"You're warm..." Viktor said holding me under the covers.</p><p>"Mmn" I hummed in response huddling into his chest. He kissed my head, as I dozed off to sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 2, Questioning Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>- Yuuri freaks out about engagement, questions his worth</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I woke up to the smell of bacon, a cold bed, and Makkachin pouncing about. He only ever acted this way when Viktor was gone, so, naturally, I pet the dog to calm him down.</p><p>"Come on boy!" I said to the dog, getting out of bed. Slowly I made it to the hallway, into the living room.</p><p>"Morning Yuuri...." My mom said from the kitchen.</p><p>"Morning" I said sitting at the table. "Where's Viktor?" I questioned looking around.</p><p>"He went to the store to get eggs for me..."<br/>
My mother said opening a cabinet.</p><p>"Oh..." I said petting Makkachin.</p><p>"He should be back in a few, why don't you go take a dip in the hot spring while I finish breakfast?" My mother suggested, I agreed getting up and making my way to the men's bathhouse.</p><p>"Nope, you can't come in Makkachin..."<br/>
I said closing the door to the whining dog.</p><p>I undressed dipping in the hot spring. This is where I met Viktor, well, formally that is.</p><p>I sat against the wall, inhaling thoughts. Leaving me with my own mind is never a clever idea. I, over think, conclude things far quicker than I should.</p><p>Viktor never over thinks, he's knows exactly what to to, and how to get there, it's like, setting up trash with a diamond. At least, that's how I feel my worth is, compared to him.</p><p>He's gorgeous, talented, and so much more than I ever could be. I love him, but I feel like I'm not worthy of his love.</p><p>He's had 5 relationships before me, most of them being people who looked like the belonged with him. Pretty blonde hair blue eyed men and women who were either in the skating field, or some kind of show business.</p><p>
  <em>I'm just, me</em>
</p><p>Brown eyes, dark black hair, I'm not very flattering. I'm not a model, or striking, I'm boring...</p><p>
  <em>So, why bother?</em>
</p><p>"Why me?"<br/>
I whispered to myself...This isn't a silly game is it?</p><p>
  <em>God I hope not. </em>
</p><p>"This hot spring is making me think, not relax"<br/>
I said getting out, I walked to the locker room, getting dressed.</p><p>I stormed out, walking back to the living room. I cleaned my lenses, putting them on.</p><p>
  <em>G</em>
  <em>od I'm angry. </em>
</p><p>I looked at Viktor next to my mom, helping her, I sat at the table, furrowing my brows in even more confusion.</p><p>"Breakfast is done!" Viktor yelled through the house.</p><p>"Could you get Yuuri? He's in the Hot Springs..." My mother said, I sat still, as Viktor walked out the kitchen.</p><p>"Oh!? He's right here- " Viktor said sitting down, Mari, Minami, my Father and Minako sat at the table also. I stared at Viktor, crossing an angry look toward him.</p><p>"Are you ok?" He asked looking at me.</p><p>"Fine!" I snapped, the rest of the table stared at me. My mother set me down a plate, sitting down.</p><p>Viktor looked at me <em>as if </em>he was worried.</p><p>"Thanks mom" I said dryly, eating the food before me. I got up, rinsing off my plate quickly I stormed off to my room, slamming the door behind me.</p><p>__</p><p>
  <b> <em>Viktor's P.O.V.</em> </b>
</p><p>"Did you guys get Into a fight?" Mari asked me.</p><p>"No...I don't know why he's acting like this..." I said, worried.</p><p>
  <em>I wonder If I did something...</em>
</p><p>"I'll check it out..." I said, leaving the table, I stopped at Yuuri's door and tried to turn the knob, locked.</p><p>
  <em>God open the door Yuuri!</em>
</p><p>"Yuuri? Please open the door I want to talk to you..." I said knocking, I heard the knob unlock, I turned it, walking in.</p><p>"Yuuri-"<br/>
I got cut off being pushed against a wall.</p><p>
  <em>What the fuck?</em>
</p><p>"Is this a joke?" Yuuri murmured.</p><p>
  <em>What? What does he mean?</em>
</p><p>"What do you mean, Yuuri?"</p><p><em>God, he's got me so confused</em>.</p><p>I looked down at him, more anger crossed his face as his grip on my shirt got tighter.</p><p>"Am I a joke to you?! Do you really love me!?" Yuuri yelled, my eyes widened.</p><p>
  <em>What!? Why would he even question that?</em>
</p><p>"You're my fiancé! Of corse I love you Yuuri! Why the hell would you question that?!" I snapped.</p><p>
  <em>I hate when I get angry. On top of that, Yuuri started to cry again, great.</em>
</p><p>"Yuuri? Please don't cry, just tell me what is bothering you..." I said, his grip loosened, I wrapped my arms around him as he sobbed into my chest.</p><p>"Yuuri...tell me, what's wrong?" I asked wiping his tears away as I cupped his face.</p><p>"Why me? Why'd you want to marry me...there's so many other skaters out there that are more attractive"</p><p>My eyes burned, that burning you feel when you really want to cry?</p><p>
  <em>I love him so much, so very much. </em>
</p><p>I started to cry, and my crying turned to outright sobbing.</p><p>"Viktor?" I heard him worry.</p><p>"I love you, n-not because of your looks Yuuri! But, because you changed around my life! I was hiding a fake smile from a broken home life, and deep depression" I paused.</p><p>"I lost my Inspiration! To continue! To skate! and to live! Until I stepped in this house and met you! That's why! I want to be your husband!" I practically threw a tantrum.</p><p>I stopped, looking at Yuuri's face that was outright shocked. I cupped my hands on my face.</p><p>
  <em>Stop crying! are you stupid? What the hell is wrong with me?</em>
</p><p>I just kept crying, ugly crying, sobbing was now my best friend.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Viktor I know you love me, from our first kiss, to last night's, please don't cry...." He said, holding me.</p><p>
  <em>I can't stop crying, do I deserve him? Did I just question that?</em>
</p><p>My crying became deeper. "I love you..." I whispered, hugging him tighter.</p><p>"I know, and I love you too..." He said back, I still sobbed.</p><p><em>Was Yuuri drenched in my tears yet?</em> <em>Cause I'm still crying. </em></p><p>I was trying breathe, and finally I stopped.</p><p>"Are you ok now?" Yuuri's voice echoed through my mind.</p><p>"Yeah, Cause you're here" I hiccuped on a sore throat, pulling him into a hug. I kissed his lips.</p><p>
  <em>God were they heaven to me, I hate when we fight.</em>
</p><p>I peppered slow kisses all over his face. "I'm sorry, I didn't clarify how I felt" I said kissing his cheek.</p><p>"It's fine, I'm sorry I snapped at you" Yuuri wiped his tears.</p><p>"It's okay, hey-" I paused, "How about we do some skating together? Just you and me?" I asked.</p><p>"I'm not sure"</p><p>"Skating always makes you feel better" I smiled.</p><p>"It also makes me feel terrible"</p><p>"It makes you grow too" I kissed his lips, he squealed a little. "Do it or you don't love me" I teased.</p><p>"Fine" He giggled.</p><p>"That's my Yuuri-"</p><p>
  <em>Shit my breakfast!</em>
</p><p>"Crap! I'm going to go finish breakfast I'll be right back!" I said pecking his lips, he smiled as I opened the door, I walked back to the table.</p><p>"That was a lot of yelling..." Mari said as I sat down.</p><p>"Did you fix him?" Yuuri's mother asked.</p><p>"Yep..." I said finishing my plate, I washed it off.</p><p>"We're off to ice castle!" I yelled going in Yuuri's room.</p><p>"Get your coat..." I said putting on mine.</p><p>"Got it!" Yuuri replied, I grabbed the keys, walking to the door with Yuuri. We started to walk down the street.</p><p>"Hey Yuuri?" I broke the silence.</p><p>"Yea?" He replied, trying to keep warm with his mitts.</p><p>
  <em>God! stop being cute.</em>
</p><p>"When did you fall in love with me?" I asked, he jumped, flustered.</p><p>"I- um....The competition with Yurio..." He said hiding his face.</p><p>"Is that so?" I said, looking up at the sky.</p><p>"Yea..." He quietly said, I lifted his chin, watching his flustered face, I kissed his forehead. He angrily pouted, grabbing my jacket and kissing me.</p><p>
  <em>I think I teased him too much.</em>
</p><p>I kissed him back, chucking at that thought. Some people stared, but, I payed no mind, if people don't like our relationship they can fuck off, and I don't say fuck off unless I mean it.</p><p>I stared In Yuuri's red-brown sparkling eyes, falling more in love each minute.</p><p>
  <em>Can I just marry you already Yuuri!?</em>
</p><p>I held his hand walking down the street more. I smiled, looking at my right hand and back at his. We stopped at Ice Castle.</p><p>"Miss this place, ugh It's been months" I heard Yuuri complain, as we walked up the stairs, opening the door.</p><p>"Hello Yuuko!" I said to the woman behind the counter.</p><p>"Oh! Hi guys!" Yuuko replied.</p><p>"Your normal pairs?" She asked, looking at the stacks of skates, there were a special stack for the professional skaters.</p><p>"Yeah..." Yuuri replied.</p><p>"Here ya go lovebirds!" Yuuko said, handing the skates over. We walked to the locker room, putting our skates on.</p><p>"Viktor?" He asked, I looked over.</p><p>"Do you want me to compete this year or do you want to?" Yuuri asked.</p><p>"We're both competing this year..."<br/>
I said, Yuuri stared at me in confusion.</p><p>"What do you mean?" Yuuri asked.</p><p>"Duet skating....I thought you'd want that..."<br/>
I said confused, looking at him.</p><p>"Really!?" He said ecstatically.</p><p>"We'd be the first partnership to be both male" I said, walking into the rink.</p><p>"Of corse I'd want to do that..." Yuuri said, taking off his guards.</p><p>"Good, cause we need to get used to each other's skating patterns..." I said stepping on the ice.</p><p>"If I can copy your program to a tee, and land your signature move, this'll be easy.."<br/>
He said with a smug look.</p><p>"Oh, really?" I questioned, sarcastically, skating around.</p><p>"I'm your fiancé I know all your moves..."<br/>
Yuuri said, skating to the middle.</p><p>"Not all of them..."<br/>
I said, <em>I hope he got that dirty joke, </em>He paused and flustered.</p><p>
  <em>Yep, he got it. </em>
</p><p>"You know what I meant!" He pouted, I laughed.</p><p>"Unless you want to learn those moves also...." I said in the most flirty voice I could fess up. He fell, covering his flustered face.</p><p>"Joking!" I yelled lending him a hand up.</p><p>"Viktor!" He whined, grabbing my hand.</p><p>"Come on..." I said skating back to the middle. I picked him up putting him over my head.</p><p>"Down Down DOWN DOWN PUT ME DOWN!" He screamed, wailing around.</p><p>"Why?!" I asked loudly, still putting him in the air.</p><p>"Viktor Nikiforov! Now!" He used my last name, I looked up as I put him down.</p><p>"You ok?" I asked Yuuri who was hyperventilating.</p><p>"Yea..." He panted.</p><p>"I'm going to have to do that during duet, you know that right?" I said looking at him.</p><p>"Yea...It's just you were..." He paused, blushing red as a tomato.</p><p>"I was what?" I asked.</p><p>"Um....too far down my torso..." He said quietly, I blushed.</p><p>"My bad!" I said, scratching the back of my head. "Wanna try again?" I asked.</p><p>"Sure" He peeped, I wrapped around his torso.</p><p>"Ready?" I questioned, adjusting my grip.</p><p>"Yea..." He quietly said.</p><p>"Aaaand up!" I said lifting him again.</p><p>"How are you still standing?" He asked me.</p><p>"Years of balance young grasshopper, I could move if you want!" I said.</p><p>"NO!" Yuuri yelled immediately, I put him down.</p><p>"Done! Now was that so bad?" I said, he looked at me angrily.</p><p>"Yes! It was..." He snapped, I skated over and hugged him.</p><p>"Love you" I said kissing his head, I fell going on top of him.</p><p>"Sorry, I slipped..." I said looking down at him, this position was questionable.</p><p>"V-Viktor"<br/>
He stuttered, I bent down and kissed him, folding my hands on his, I started to kiss his neck.</p><p>
  <em>I want him.</em>
</p><p>"Hah~"<br/>
Yuuri moaned.</p><p>
  <em>Viktor! Stop!</em>
</p><p>I jumped back. "I-I'm so sorry, Are you ok?" I said blushing.</p><p>"Y-Yeah..." He squeaked.</p><p>
  <em>What is wrong with me? I just made Yuuri moan.</em>
</p><p>I stood up and shook it off. "Again!" I said.</p><p>_</p><p>
  <b> <em>Yuuri's P.O.V.</em> </b>
</p><p>"Bye Yuuko!" Viktor yelled, I opened my camera on my phone, pointing it at my neck.</p><p>
  <em>Hickey?! Viktor left a hickey!? I'll have to cover it up. </em>
</p><p>I walked out the door, holding my neck.</p><p>"You ok?" Viktor asked.</p><p>"Fine!" I quickly said.</p><p>
  <em>No! I'm not ok! My eyes are clouded, making my vision blurry! My face Is hot! And I'm really horny!!</em>
</p><p>I screamed in my head.</p><p><em>Horny?! Seriously </em> <em>Yuu</em> <em>ri?</em></p><p>"If it was what I did on the ice today I'm really sorry..." He said holding my hand.</p><p><em>Sorry? It felt good, Good!? What the Fuck</em>!?</p><p>"Don't be..." That just slipped from my mouth.</p><p>
  <em>Oh my god!</em>
</p><p>"No, I went too far...I know you wouldn't want to do that till we're married..." Viktor said.</p><p>
  <em>You didn't go far enough, God Why!? He's more sane than you!...</em>
</p><p>"That?"</p><p>
  <em>I did not just question that like an innocent little piggy did I?!</em>
</p><p>"M-Making love, Yuuri"<br/>
He stuttered.</p><p>
  <em>Kill me! Death right now God!! That would be most appreciated!!</em>
</p><p>"I'd love to do those things to you, when you're ready...but you're not which is fine..."<br/>
Viktor said.</p><p>
  <em>God he's so sweet! Yuuri you are one lucky guy. </em>
</p><p>"When you're ready, please tell me Yuuri." He stated.</p><p>"I will..." I said, we stopped in front of the door, he lifted my chin.</p><p>"I love you Yuuri, if I ever say otherwise, I'm lying and you should walk away, so I realize what I lost..." He said, I wrapped my arms around him, as he kissed me.</p><p>"I promise" I nuzzled my head into his chest.</p><p>"Are you two coming in to eat or hug all day?" Mari stepped out and questioned, Viktor and me laughed.</p><p>"Yeah, we're coming in!" I said taking off my shoes at the door.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 3, The Secret</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> <b>-Two weeks later-</b> </em>
</p><p>"That was wonderful Yuuri!" Viktor called from the sidelines, he skated toward me.</p><p>"Thanks" I mumbled.</p><p>"You're welcome" He giggled, "Now it's my turn, off!" He said, shooing me with his hand.</p><p>I put my guards on after I skated away. He had planned that we practice our individual performance moves by ourselves, and when he thought we were ready, we'd start on the dueting.</p><p>Which Is definitely fine with me, because I get to watch Viktor skate. He's like a god on Ice, even if there isn't any music.</p><p>I watched him land his quadruple flip.</p><p>
  <em>I swear I feel like a fangirl just drooling over here.</em>
</p><p>My '<em>observation</em>' was interrupted by Viktor's usual perky ringtone. So, I opened his bag, grabbing his phone. The call cancelled before I could even answer it, as I opened the phone it lit up with, '<em>16 missed calls from 'mom'</em></p><p>I was slightly confused, as far as I knew, Viktor's parents weren't part of his life? My thought process then again, was interrupted with the ringing.</p><p>"Hello?" I questioned, answering, my heart was beating like crazy.</p><p>"Viktor! Why haven't you answered my calls!? Do you know how long I've called trying to get you home!?" She paused, I was too scared to even reply, the woman was so hostile.</p><p>"Viktor!? Don't ignore me!" She screamed through the phone.</p><p>"I <em>know</em> you're there!! Why did you block me and your father from all your social media sites!?" She breathed.</p><p>"Viktor If you keep cutting us off from your life, you're gonna regret it!!"</p><p>"Listen, if this is all to hide some pretty girl from us, you're dead!" I hung up, after hearing that, the phone lit up again.</p><p>"Who was that Yuuri?" He said, thinking I was using my phone.</p><p>"Um, your mom" I said, he snatched the phone from my hands.</p><p>"You didn't say anything about us did you!?" He snapped holding his phone.</p><p>"No, but why can't I!?" I snapped back, my heart hurt.</p><p>"Your mom also said you blocked her on all your media sites! And expects you to be home!? What the hell is going on Viktor??!" I yelled, he stared at me in shock.</p><p>"Honesty and Truth, Viktor! Tell me!" I scoffed furiously, he looked away.</p><p>"My mom and dad are very religious, which is part of why they hate skating, they're pretty sexist when it comes to what a man's job should be" He started out, Viktor never was this nervous, especially like this.</p><p>"What else, tell me" I softened my tone, I could tell he was scared.</p><p>"I didn't want to burden this on you" He trailed, sighing, "My parents also despise homosexuality, they say it's disgusting, I ran away because of that" He finished, I stood in shock, <em>despise homosexuality, </em>the line ran through my head over and over.</p><p>"Viktor, you need to tell them, at least your mother, from what I heard she cares about you a lot" I said, Viktor looked up at me and smiled.</p><p>"It's not as simple as that" He saddened.</p><p>"I'll be here to always support you Viktor, you know that" I paused, "You're my fiancé, I wouldn't be telling you this if I didn't truly believe it was best for you" I kissed his cheek.</p><p>He lit up, "What if you come with me to Moscow to visit them, I think it'll be easier to tell them if you're there" He said, I paused.</p><p>"We'd have to keep hands off each other the whole time" I said, he grabbed my hands and kissed my forehead.</p><p>"I'm willing to take that risk, and we both know we love each other, you don't always have to have contact to know that" He said, I smiled.</p><p>"I'll go..." I said quietly.</p><p>"Thanks Yuuri..." He said looking at his phone.</p><p>"Oh boy! Here it goes!" He said clicking the phone.</p><p>_</p><p>
  <em> <b>Viktor's P.O.V.</b> </em>
</p><p>"Hi Ma!" I said cheerfully, honestly I don't know why I'm so cheerful, I haven't talked to her in 13 years.</p><p>"Viktor! Where are you!!!?" She screamed.</p><p>
  <em>Ow! My ears.</em>
</p><p>"Kyushu, Japan!" I answered, pausing, "How about I come home with my student, Yuuri Katsuki?" I asked.</p><p>"You're What!?" She asked.</p><p>"My student, you want me to come home don't you?" I said calmly.</p><p>"Yes, I do Viktor" She said sternly.</p><p>
  <em>God she's a pain.</em>
</p><p>"Then I'm going to buy a plane ticket, to Moscow and bring my fi- student! Because I promised him we'd practice his program" I stumbled, "Isn't that ok with you?" I asked.</p><p>"Sure! Whatever just come home!" She snapped in desperation.</p><p>"Sure...bye mom, I'll see you tomorrow...." I said.</p><p>"Bye Viktor..." She said hanging up.</p><p>"Ugh! Aeroflot!" I aggravated, putting my phone in my bag.</p><p>"I'll have to order the tickets online, then we'll have to start packing right away when we get home" I said looking at Yuuri, as he played with his jacket hem.</p><p>"O-okay" He said quietly, standing.</p><p>"For now we practice? Your turn!" I said cheerfully, pushing him in the rink.</p><p>"Middle!" I yelled, he skated to the middle.</p><p>"Music!" I yelled, pressing the button.</p><p>Our individual program parts are somewhat similar, but very different in feel. His program, is depressed, trying to find love, but failing.</p><p>My program, inquires a depressed person, pretending they're fine, and neglecting their happiness.</p><p>Both find each other, as one lifts the failing one, putting him to the top, as the other finds true unconditional love through the other.</p><p>Sounds familiar right? That's why I picked this piece. The element of surprise comes when both embrace each other in pure happiness, but the two get old and retire forever, ending in pure tears of joy.</p><p>"Done!" He said panting.</p><p>"Oh! Great job!" I said, throwing a towel on his head, as he skated off.</p><p>"I touched the ice...." He said, looking down.</p><p>"We've only practiced for a week Yuuri...." I said.</p><p>
  <em>He tenses too much.</em>
</p><p>"I bet you never touched the ice during any practice...." Yuuri claimed, I stood still.</p><p>"Definitely not true, even when I was 24 I definitely hit the ice, that's also a reason I cut my hair, It got in the way of my jumps, couldn't see" I said somewhat truthfully.</p><p>"Really now?, I thought you were hot when you had long hair" He smirked.</p><p>
  <em>Hot? He thought I was hot?</em>
</p><p>"Someone's Eros is showing through..." I said, holding my hand at my hip.</p><p>"Is that a bad thing?" He said in a musky voice, I smirked, blushing deeply.</p><p>"No, definitely not" I said inching closer to him, pecking his lips.</p><p>
  <em>He didn't fluster, interesting.</em>
</p><p>"Let's end this, and go home" I said looking at Yuuri.</p><p>"Okay.." He said grabbing his bag, I headed to the locker room, taking off my skates. I walked with Yuuri to the counter.</p><p>"Here ya go Yuuko!" I said handing the skates over.</p><p>"Thanks! Have a nice day guys!" Yuuko said cheerfully, we made our way to the street.</p><p>"What are your parents like Viktor?" He asked, I stopped to think.</p><p>"My parents..." I said quietly.</p><p>_</p><p>
  <em> <b>-Flashback-</b> </em>
</p><p>"I told you to go to the barber and cut your hair!" A man with grey hair and green eyes spat.</p><p>"Why? It's pretty..." I said, running my fingers through the silver strands.</p><p>"Do you want to look like a girl?!" He snapped.</p><p>"No, but having long hair doesn't mean I'm a girl..." I said softly.</p><p>"I don't care! I don't want my son to grow up some queer!" He screamed, I sat still on my bed.</p><p>"Queer?" I questioned.</p><p>"Or becoming some nasty gay sodomist!"<br/>He yelled again.</p><p>"I don't even know what either of those are!" My 8 year old self screamed in question, the sound of a slap filled the air, as tears ran down my cheeks.</p><p>"Honey!" A woman with white hair pushed him aside.</p><p>"Viktor, Are you alright?" Her soft voice comforted the stinging on my cheek.</p><p>"I'm fine" I smiled, that's not the last time I'd use that line.</p><p>"Rostislav Nikiforov!" My mother snapped, pulling my father into the next room.</p><p>"Do you know what you just did?"<br/>I could still hear them, fighting.</p><p>
  <em>Gay? Queer? What was so nasty about that? </em>
</p><p>"What if he turns out like that? A Homo!?"<br/>I heard my father yell.</p><p>"Our son would never be attracted to the same sex! We raised him that way!" She paused.</p><p>"And if he is, I'll check him out for the doctor's, I'm sure there's a cure!" My mom sounded worried.</p><p>
  <em>A cure? Same sex? Am I sick?</em>
</p><p>"What about the priest? He could bless him?" My father asked, yelling more.</p><p>"What if there's nothing we can do? What if he's stuck like that? Valentina?" My father questioned.</p><p>"I'm pretty sure he'll grow out of this, like any child with a phase, he's only 8!"</p><p>And that's when I looked up Queer and Gay in the dictionary at school and got sent to the doctor's office. Not a very nice first occasion to my future sexuality.</p><p>_</p><p>"Viktor, I won't allow you to skate anymore, It was one thing when you were 5, now you're 14!" My father screamed, I trembled looking at my hands.</p><p>"If you won't allow it I'll leave, and get emancipated! This is my life, and I'll do as I wish!" I screamed back.</p><p>"What the hell did you do to your fingernails!?" He asked me, grabbing my hands roughly.</p><p>"I painted them!" I screamed, tugging my hands away.</p><p>"You really are a sinner! I shouldn't of listened to your mother at the early signs of this!" He grabbed my hair and threw me against the wall. I grabbed my lamp and threw it at his head.</p><p>
  <em>I just knocked my father unconscious</em>
</p><p>I looked down at the man before me, walking gently over</p><p>
  <em>Calling me a sinner when you're committing adultery? I should kill you!</em>
</p><p>I stopped, and shuddered at the thought of my father making love to another woman.</p><p>
  <em>I remember walking into that room and seeing something as disgusting as that! Why would you cheat on someone you're supposed to love forever?</em>
</p><p>My mother came in with the sound of commotion, I was still paused, holding the bloody lamp in my hand as my own blood trickled down my head, from the force of the wall.</p><p>"Viktor Valery!" I heard my mom scream, she rushed to my father's side.</p><p>"What have you done!?" My mother screamed through tears, I looked once at the cross hanging on my wall.</p><p>
  <em>Never would I believe in something so crude in my life again. </em>
</p><p>I took the cross and flipped it upside down, along with taking every religious thing off my walls, my mother stared in shock, as I threw each item away.</p><p>"Devil..." She whispered, I packed my things quickly and left that house, never to be seen again.</p><p>
  <em>Or at least until things got better.</em>
</p><p>_</p><p>"Viktor? Are you ok?" I heard Yuuri's voice quiver.</p><p>"I'm fine..." I said sadly, Yuuri looked at me.</p><p>"You always lie when you say that, what's really wrong?" I couldn't deny my fiance knew me well, I looked at him.</p><p>
  <em>Those soft, caring brown eyes.</em>
</p><p>"Just the thought of my parents, it brings back some memories I usually keep back..." I said, trying to sound '<em>fine</em>' but, the stinging sensation came back, making liquid come from my eyes again.</p><p>
  <em>Damn It! Please don't let him see that I'm crying!</em>
</p><p>"It's okay, if you don't want to tell me, that's okay" He wiped away my tears, kissing each of my cheeks, I smiled.</p><p>"You are just too good!" I squealed, snuggling him to death.</p><p>"V-Viktor" He stuttered, I wiped the remaining tears from my face away, still softly smiling. We walked some more.</p><p>"I'm sorry I asked about your parents.." He said, I looked down.</p><p>"It's fine you were just genuinely curious, and to let you know they're very strict, and use Catholic Manners..." I said.</p><p>"Luckily I learned those in Detroit...." He said with a slight chuckle, I laughed.</p><p>"Yeah, I don't believe in God though, but, I'll still remember what I was forced to do, for 14 years..." I said stopping at the door, I grabbed the key from my pocket and opened the back door.</p><p>"Oh hi ma!" I said to Mrs. Katsuki, taking off my shoes.</p><p>"Hi boys, how was skating?" She asked.</p><p>"Wonderful!"I replied sitting at the table.</p><p>"When did you start calling my mom yours?" Yuuri whispered next to me.</p><p>"Since last week, you've just been missing it because you sleep in" I said, looking at Yuuri sigh with my explanation.</p><p>"Dinner?" She questioned.</p><p>"Yea, and um, Viktor has to explain something to you before dinner..."<br/>Yuuri said, looking blankly at me.</p><p>"Oh yeah! We're leaving to Moscow to visit my parents!" I said, Mrs. Katsuki put down some Tempura.</p><p>"That sounds like fun, when are you leaving?" She asked.</p><p>"Tomorrow, That reminds me, I have to buy the tickets now!" I said, Yuuri's mother sat a little shocked.</p><p>"O-okay, just be safe you two." She said kindly, I dug into the fried food.</p><p>"Aeroflot, tickets, Tokyo-" I said aloud clicking the links on my phone. "There's one for 8am! I got it!" I said, paying the tickets.</p><p>"What's all the excitement for?" Yuuri asked me.</p><p>"There were only two left.." I said clicking onto Japan Airlines.</p><p>"From Nagasaki to Tokyo" I said, paying the tickets.</p><p>"That means we have to be up at 5am!" I said, eating a fried shrimp.</p><p>"Ugh, fine" I heard Yuuri growl, he started to eat also.</p><p>"Do you need me to drop you guys off?" She asked.</p><p>"Yeah, we do Mom, thanks...." Yuuri said, eating more food.</p><p>"Yuuri, I learned a little japanese today, if you wanna hear?" I asked, putting down my phone.</p><p>"Sure" He smiled.</p><p>"Aishiteruyo" I tried my best not to butcher it, he choked on the tempura, Mrs. Katsuki's face lit up with surprise.</p><p>"Viktor!" He squealed, "You don't use that in public!" He pouted.</p><p>"Why not, it means 'I love you' right?" I asked.</p><p>"Vicchan darling, my parents before they passed, rarely ever used it, and they were married for 60 years... " Mrs. Katsuki tried to explain.</p><p>"It's the most heartfelt way to say I love you, it's like-" Yuuri paused, "Saying, I love you to my grave" He worried.</p><p>"What if I do love you that much?"</p><p>"It's still something you say in private!" He pouted.</p><p>"Alright, well, I'll use it only in private" I got up and washed off my dish, as Yuuri did the same.</p><p>"Night Ma!" I yelled, taking Yuuri in the room.</p><p>"Let's Pack!" I said grabbing both of our suitcases, Yuuri started to open the dressers filled with both of our stuff, which usually we'd just throw all our stuff in one bag and call it a day.</p><p>But, we needed to look like a student and teacher, which we aren't, which makes it hard to stop touching each other.</p><p>I'm so used to just being able to kiss him, that I could accidentally just do that infront of my parents, so we started to separate our luggage. And, I wouldn't sleep with him tonight, bummer. I looked over to Yuuri.</p><p>"This is gonna be hard..." He mumbled, stacking clothes in the suitcase.</p><p>"It's just one week, we can do this" I said placing my hand on his, I took it off, finishing my packing.</p><p>"Bye, I'll see you tomorrow..." I said closing the door, but before I could he jumped and hugged me.</p><p>"Yuuri, we'll be fine...I'll wake you up at 4:30" I said on the ground, he looked up from my chest.</p><p>"I know...." He mumbled, I sighed.</p><p>"Come on, off" I said gently pulling him up, he snapped and kissed me, I kissed back harder, like it was the last time I'd kiss him. But, I had to let go</p><p>"Dasvidaniya, Yuuri..." I kissed his cheek.</p><p>"Sayōnara, Viktor..." He giggled sadly, I grabbed my luggage and headed to the spare room.</p><p>
  <em>It does feel like when we first met, well when he was sober. </em>
</p><p>I laid on the bed matt, as I heard Makkachin whine at the door. I lazily opened it, letting Makkachin sleep next to me.</p><p>"This is gonna be a long week..." I said, lying to my side.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 4, Traveling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Ughh..." I whispered, hearing the loud siren-like sound escaping my phone. I put my arm over Makkachin to swipe over to my passcode, ending the annoying blaring. Slowly I got up, walking over to Yuuri's room.</p><p>"Yuuri, wake up" I shook him, he growled.</p><p>"Yuuuurrri..." I shook him harder.</p><p>"Hmm?" He said, sitting up, half lidded.</p><p>"Get ready, we have to go" I said, pulling him up to stand up.</p><p>"Viktor, I'm tired" He whined, I grabbed out his clothes.</p><p>"You can sleep on the plane...." I said throwing his clothes to him.</p><p>"I'll be back, you better be dressed" I said dryly, I left the room to dress myself. I heard a knock at the door.</p><p>"Yes?" I questioned aloud.</p><p>"Be ready in 10 minutes ok?" Yuuri's mom said through the door.</p><p>"Ok!" I yelled back, grabbing my coat. I also grabbed my suitcase, heading back to Yuuri's room.</p><p>"You ready?" I knocked.</p><p>"Yeah, you don't have to knock" He said opening the door, with his suitcase.</p><p>"Come on, your Mom's waiting for us..." I said walking down the hall, I could hear his suitcase wheels roll on the wood behind me.</p><p>"Okay! We're ready!" I said coming in the living room.</p><p>"I made some breakfast to go for you two!"<br/>She said handing us some breakfast wraps.</p><p>"Thanks Ma!" I said cheerfully making my way out the door. I put on my shoes, along with Yuuri, we walked to the car. Both of us sat in the backseat after putting our luggage in the trunk.</p><p>1 hour in a car down to Nagasaki is a pain, I watched outside as the car passed lots of plain land; Kyushu is a beautiful island to say the least.</p><p>I didn't touch Yuuri at all, though I was tempted to do so. I looked over at him, he's sleeping, that was typical of Yuuri. As the minutes passed by, with the tickets on my phone, we pulled up to the Airport.</p><p>"Yuuri, wake up...." I said looking at my phone, 5:30am.</p><p>"Hmm?" He said, waking up fully.</p><p>"The trunk, let's go..." I said getting out the car, Yuuri followed slowly. Both getting our suitcases.</p><p>"Bye ma!" I yelled walking away with Yuuri. We walked down to the check in to get our tickets.</p><p>I put on my glasses, paparazzi could be here. I handed Yuuri some glasses also, walking to the counter, I handed my phone to the check lady.</p><p>"Mr. Nikiforov, is that correct?" The lady said, I handed my ID over to her.</p><p>"Shh, yes but keep my name on the low..."<br/>I said, the lady looked at me suspiciously. Usually I'd travel in a private jet, but, this would have to do.</p><p>"Okay, Mr. Katsuki...."<br/>She said at full volume, heads turned.</p><p>
  <em>Great</em>
</p><p>"Yeah?" Yuuri questioned still not fully awake, I handed her Yuuri's ID as well.</p><p>"Here are your tickets you two!" She said cheerfully, I took them quickly, walking as fast as I could to get to the luggage check.</p><p>"Viktor wait up!"<br/>Yuuri yelled behind me, I stopped. People started to crowd around Yuuri.</p><p>I sighed, walking over to Yuuri. Taking my glasses off.</p><p>"Oh my god It's Viktor and Yuuri!"<br/>One of them yelled.</p><p>"Yuuri, come on..."<br/>I said pulling him to me away from the crowd. I walked to the luggage check not looking back.</p><p>"Bags....and all metal items are to be removed..." One of the security officers said. I complied, removing my shoes and belt. Yuuri did the same under the other scanner.</p><p>"Pass..." He said, after scanning me. I grabbed my luggage, putting my shoes and belt back on. I walked with Yuuri to the Plane listings.</p><p>Our flight was boarding.</p><p>"Let's go Yuuri...."<br/>I said walking to the boarding area. I looked up at the plane number, stepping on the boarding ramp.</p><p>I grabbed Yuuri's hand, getting on the plane. We stopped at our seats, putting our luggage on the shelf above.</p><p>Before I could sit, Yuuri was passed out again next to the window. I smiled sitting down, I stared at the monitor, and the intercom blared a heap of languages.</p><p>As the plane took off, I entwined my fingers with Yuuri's, forgetting what I had just said about not touching. Yuuri shifted in his sleep, laying his head on my shoulder. Instinctively, I kissed the top of his head, cussing myself off quietly that I keep forgetting.</p><p>It didn't matter cause I fell asleep on his head anyways.</p><p>_</p><p>"Sir, wake up your flight is about to land in 15 minutes" I sat up quickly, Looking at the lady.</p><p>"Oh! Thank you for waking me..." I said, looking around.</p><p>"You're welcome..." She said walking away.</p><p>"Yuuri, honey wake up..." I said, caressing his cheek lightly.</p><p>"Yea?" He said, fluttering his brown eyes open.</p><p>"We're about to land..." I said, taking my hands away.</p><p>"Oh ok..." He said, barely awake.</p><p>"Don't fall asleep..." I said sternly, Yuuri shook his head, trying to stay awake.</p><p>"You'll have 9 hours to sleep on the other plane.." I said looking at him.</p><p>"Why are you sleeping this much anyway?It's 7, you wake up at this time." I asked.</p><p>"I couldn't get any sleep last night..." He said, I sighed at him.</p><p>"Why is that?" I questioned, looking at his dark circles.</p><p>"I'm so used to having you there that I kept getting cold, It was waking me up" He said, looking up at me.</p><p>"Oh, well, you'll get to sleep right next to me on the next plane..." I said looking out the window.</p><p>"As we're descending to our landing, we'll be expecting some turbulence, make sure to buckle your seat belts....Es-" The intercom blared, me and Yuuri buckled our seat belts. The plane began to go down as we landed in Tokyo.</p><p>I got up from my seat, taking down my luggage. Yuuri followed behind me. We stepped off to the boarding ramp and traveled down to the luggage check again, doing what we had to It was only 7:30, 30 minutes to wait for our next plane. I sat down in the waiting area, along with Yuuri.</p><p>"You ok?" Yuuri asked me, I was obviously worried about visiting my parents after 13 years of silence away from them.</p><p>"No, I'm worried Yuuri, very worried..." I answered honestly, there wasn't any need to lie to my fiancé.</p><p>"It'll be ok Viktor, you just have to get through this..." He said, gently rubbing my back.</p><p>"I know, but you'll be there, and that's the best thing I could ever ask" I said kissing his hand. He smiled, hugging me.</p><p>"When's the wedding?" A fan out of nowhere walked to us.</p><p>"O-oh, um we're not sure when we'll be doing that but, we'll post it on Twitter or Instagram so, yeah" Yuuri said to the fan, blushing.</p><p>"Oh ok! Thanks! You guys are goals by the way!" The fan said walking past us.</p><p>"Thank you?" I said confused, I read the clock again, 7:45.</p><p>"Um Viktor...." I heard Yuuri squeak.</p><p>"Yeah?" I turned from my watch.</p><p>"Can I kiss you, I m-mean we aren't in Moscow and I j-just thought-" I cut him off with my lips, God I can't stand being away from him.</p><p>"I guessed you kissed m-me instead b-but I don't care either way" Yuuri said blushing, after I broke the kiss.</p><p>"Sorry, do you wanna kiss me?" I asked sitting still, Yuuri hid his face.</p><p>"I'm g-good" He stuttered, I laughed at his flustering.</p><p>"Look! There's our plane" I said pointing out the window. Yuuri followed behind me. I looked at him, love is a tough thing to handle. The boarding sign flickered on after 10 minutes.</p><p>"Come on..." I said going to the ramp to get our tickets checked.</p><p>"Go...." The man said, I grabbed Yuuri's hand leading him through the ramp to our seats. I put our suitcases on the shelves above sitting down. Yuuri held my hand, I smiled genuinely at the gesture. I kissed him on the cheek.</p><p>"You can go to sleep now..." I said, pointing at my shoulder. He rested his head on my shoulder, passing out.</p><p>"My Yuuri..." I said kissing his head. The intercom blared announcements, as my phone began to ring, I answered.</p><p>"Hello?"</p><p>
  <em>Who is this!?</em>
</p><p>I held the phone up, looking at the call, It read '<em>Chris</em>'.</p><p>"Hallo Victor!" I heard Chris reply.</p><p>"Why'd you call me?" I sternly said.</p><p>"An old friend can't call his buddy vhenever?" He replied.</p><p>"Not when I'm on a plane" I laughed.</p><p>"Oh, mein bad do you vant me to hang up?"<br/>He asked.</p><p>"No, It's fine I've got 15 minutes at the most..." I said looking around.</p><p>"Anyway how's it going in Switzerland for you?" I asked.</p><p>"Great, I got mein programs done and planned for ze next season...how about Yuuri and you?" I looked on my shoulder.</p><p>"We got our duet planned, we decided that after that Duet skate at the end of the GPF, and we're heading to Moscow to visit my parents..." I said.</p><p>"YOU VHAT?!" I heard him yell.</p><p>"You heard me, I'm visiting my parents" I said again.</p><p>"That's not a good Idea Viktor! Don't you remember how much of a homophobic ashlock your father is?" He reminded me, I sighed.</p><p>"I know but Yuuri brought me to at least visit them..." I said.</p><p>"You're not taking him vith you are you?" He asked.</p><p>"Didn't I say <em>we're</em> heading to Moscow'" I said, pinching my temple.</p><p>"Are you an Idiot!? Bringing you're fiancé to your house!? Vith your father zere...do you know vhat he'll do to Yuuri?! He'll kill him!"<br/>Chris yelled through the phone.</p><p>"IF HE EVEN TOUCHES YUURI ILL KILL HIM!" I yelled through the phone, people started to stare at me. Yuuri woke up, wide eyed.</p><p>"You better hope, Viktor...If zat happens call me, you know I'll pick up and und call Yurio immediately..." He said, Yuuri stared at me confused.</p><p>"Yeah, Chris I gotta go I'll call you later tonight..." I said looking over to Yuuri.</p><p>"Ok Auf Wierdesen..." He said.</p><p>"Dasvidaniya..." I said ending the phone call.</p><p>"Are you ok?" Yuuri asked still awed.</p><p>"Yes, I'm just a bit angry..." I said narrowing my eyebrows. The intercom blared again, I put my seatbelt on, and phone on airplane mode.</p><p>"Ok...just um, just try to sleep it over with me?" He gestured, I sighed and agreed, having him sleep on my shoulder as I slept on his head.</p><p>_</p><p>I woke up, looking at my clock which had changed due to the time zone difference, we'd be landing at 5pm in Japan but, we're heading to Moscow, which means It'll be 11am instead.</p><p>I looked over at Yuuri who was slightly drooling on my shoulder, I looked through the window, memorizing the heightfull view. More memories started to flow in</p><p>_</p><p>-<em><b>Flashback</b></em>-</p><p>"Yakov!" I panted, two suitcases behind me.</p><p>"What is it child?" He glared at me, confused.</p><p>"I-I need a place to s-stay..." I nervously said, my eyes hurting from endless crying.</p><p>"What happened Vitya!?" He yelled, looking at my blood stained hair.</p><p>"N-nothing, I just need somewhere to stay please!?" I begged, holding my head.</p><p>"Of course, go to the dorms and clean up, we need to talk after immediately..." Yakov spat, I smiled, racing to the dorms to clean up.</p><p>I told Yakov the story, the story of why I acted so weird, and how my father beat me. Him and Yurio were the only two that know, and both believed me.</p><p>_</p><p>"Hey mommy? Why are you so good at cooking?" My 5 year old self claimed.</p><p>"Because mommy has two beautiful pieces of family, to feed" My mother smiled back, I smiled.</p><p>"And It's also Christmas Eve, that's why!"<br/>My mother said cutting off some ham for me. I smiled, going to the next dish.</p><p>"It's my birthday tomorrow huh?" I asked looking at the white haired lady.</p><p>"Yes it is Viktor..." I smiled, sitting down to eat.</p><p>_</p><p>Yuuri was staring at me by now, I shook my head to regain consciousness.</p><p>The intercom blared once more, saying there were only 30 minutes left on the plane. I looked over at Yuuri and blushed, never ever have I been more in love with a person. Our eyes met as silence of blue and brown sparkles filled the air, I grabbed his right hand kissing the ring. He blushed, while I smiled like an idiot, wanting more from my fiancé.</p><p>I hugged him tight, knowing this would be the last time I'd have contact with him. He smiled, hugging me back, he caressed my cheek, I kissed him. My love, his love and all love I swore surrounded our partnership. The plane landed as I let go of our kiss.</p><p>"V-Viktor I love you...." He said as I blushed.</p><p>"I love you too" I said, waiting for the intercom to tell us to get off. I kissed his cheek, knowing he would fluster, as my lips quivered to try and make any smile to prove I wasn't the least bit nervous.</p><p>"It'll be fine Viktor, just act like we were when you were only my coach, everything will go great if you do that" He said rubbing my shoulder, I smiled as the intercom blared once more, getting up I grabbed my suitcase. Acting as if I didn't care if Yuuri was behind me or not.</p><p>"Hey, little fast there don't you think?"<br/>He said coming behind me. I stepped on the ramp, breathing anything I had left of dignity, I snapped and kissed Yuuri again, savoring any love left before we stepped off this ramp.</p><p>I let go, my eyes clouded with worry. Yuuri kissed my nose, with the most reassuring smile I'd ever seen. I stepped off the ramp, looking around before I felt the most warming hug behind me.</p><p>"V-Viktor?" I turned around to see a white haired woman crying.</p><p>"M-Mom...." I quivered, hugging back the crying woman.</p><p>"I missed you so much, I'm so sorry Viktor I should have understood you and- I didn't know what to do, It all happened in one moment" She said sobbing in my chest.</p><p>"It's ok Mom, I know you tried everything you could..." I said holding my mother closer.</p><p>"Viktor you look just like your father when he was younger..." She said cupping my face, I almost narrowed my eyes at the comparison.</p><p>"I guess..." I said pulling Yuuri next to me.</p><p>"Here's my student, Yuuri Katsuki" I said introducing him.</p><p>"You must be very lucky to have my son, a five year medalist train you to become a better skater" She said looking at Yuuri.</p><p>"The pleasure is all mine Ma'am" He said bowing, my mother stared at him confused.</p><p>"In his country that's how you greet your elders, it's a form of respect in Japan..."<br/>I said to my mother, she giggled a bit, before lending her hand out.</p><p>"It's nice to meet you....my name's Valentina Nikiforov..." Yuuri shook her hand lightly, letting go.</p><p>"Okay, How about we talk over the years with some nice lunch..." My mother suggested.</p><p>"That sounds wonderful Mrs. Nikiforov..."<br/>Yuuri said, My mother nodded in response walking to the car with us. I put my suitcase in the trunk before stepping into the gold Mercedes Benz. I sat in the front, away from Yuuri who was in the back. My mother started the car, driving away from the airport. I stared out the window.</p><p>"So I found this great Italian place near downtown and I thought that would be nice for lunch...." She broke the silence.</p><p>"Sure, sounds great"I replied still looking out the window. She still drove.</p><p>"So Yuuri? What's your family like?" My mother asked him.</p><p>"Oh, they're loving in their own ways, and like to celebrate a lot, they also are very supportive of my decisions" Yuuri said from the back.</p><p>"Hmm, sounds like they're nice" My mother said stopping at a interception.</p><p>"Yeah, they are until they embarrass you with baby photos." Yuuri chuckled, my mother and I laughed, creepily sounding alike to one another. I smiled, never had I thought things would go this well.</p><p>"Well when we get home I'll show you Viktor's baby photos" She said turning, I stared at her.</p><p>"Don't you dare...." I said narrowing my eyes.</p><p>"I do dare, you were so cute when you were little" She said back, I never thought most of my personality came from my mother, but it did even if we were 13 years separated.</p><p>"Ok, we're here..." She said turning off the engine. I stepped out, Yuuri looked at me and smiled, blushing.</p><p>I stepped into the restaurant. All of us found a booth seat. A waiter came our way as we all ordered our drinks and food.</p><p>"So Viktor what have you been doing lately?" My mother asked, I smiled.</p><p>"Well, I'm planning a duet sequence for Yuuri, and I've been under Yakov ever since I left you...." I said, I saw my mother smile.</p><p>"Me and your father are very proud of you, though we didn't support you at first, we didn't know what we lost until you were gone" She said looking down in sorrow.</p><p>"It's okay I forgive you..." I said holding her hand to comfort her. She stared at my hand.</p><p>"Thank you Hun...." She said letting me go.</p><p>"So I couldn't help notice Yuuri..." She said out of nowhere.</p><p>"What?" He asked.</p><p>"Notice the ring on your right hand" Me and Yuuri looked down in fear.</p><p>
  <em>Shit. </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 5, Hiding</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> <b>Yuuri's P.O.V.</b> </em>
</p><p>I looked over at Viktor, my eyes anguishing at the fact that I had forgotten to put my gloves back over my hands.</p><p>
  <em>You're an idiot Yuuri Katsuki!</em>
</p><p>I held onto my hand.</p><p>"Are you engaged?" Mrs. Nikiforov spoke in question.</p><p>"Yes..." I said.</p><p>
  <em>WHAT THE FUCK!? I'm dead, officially fucking dead.</em>
</p><p>Viktor looked at me with anxious eyes, we were definitely shit outta luck, and it was only the first hour.</p><p>
  <em>I'm sooooo sorry Viktor! Kill me now!!</em>
</p><p>"Who's the lucky girl?" She asked, giggling a bit, the waiter brought our drinks.</p><p>
  <em>Just play her game Yuuri!</em>
</p><p>"A girl back in my hometown, I asked her to be mine in Barcelona last year.." I said, Viktor choked on his water, coughing aloud.</p><p>"You ok Viky?" She asked.</p><p>"Yeaaaah, fine" He choked through.</p><p>"Okay, what's so special about her?" She asked, rubbing Viktor's back.</p><p>"She taught me a lot about love, and how to nurture it, she lights up your day with just a single smile, and when she's on ice the world stops and stares, including me" I paused.</p><p>"I guess she's special because she can be the most serious thing, but act like a fool the next, and when she's drunk It's hard to handle mostly" I said</p><p>
  <em>Those were all descriptions of Viktor. </em>
</p><p>And when Viktor smiled and blushed at me; I knew he knew, and she didn't.</p><p>"She sounds like a ball of fun to me...." Mrs. Nikiforov giggled.</p><p>"Yeah, she is...." I still looked at Viktor.</p><p>"And when are you going to give me grandkids young man!?" She said looking at Viktor, I couldn't help but chuckle.</p><p>"When the time comes...." He said blankly.</p><p>"When Is that time!? A hundred years!" She said, hitting Viktor upside the head with her hand held purse.</p><p>"Ow!" He said holding his head.</p><p>"Oh shut up, that didn't even hurt!" She whined, I laughed aloud.</p><p>"So, Yuuri how old are you?" She asked me.</p><p>"24..." I answered.</p><p>"See!? You better up your game Viktor! How can Yuuri get a fine lady, but you can't even get a date, at 28!!" She complained.</p><p>"Yuuri? Viktor's a very handsome man, in fact probably one of the most attractive skaters in the world, If you were a girl would you marry him?" She asked me through slight anger. Viktor sat in embarrassment.</p><p>"If I were I girl, yes I would" I answered, she laughed at my answer. She was so oblivious, I feel almost terrible for lying to her.</p><p>We got our food then, eating my plate I made sure to use manners, including saying grace.</p><p>"How's your food Viky?" She asked aloud.</p><p>"The meat is really good" He answered, cutting up the pasta.</p><p>"How about you Yuuri?" She asked me.</p><p>"Good, the Alfredo is perfect, how's yours?"<br/>I said looking down at my plate.</p><p>"Vksno!" She replied, eating another bite. Viktor glared at me, I looked at him back.</p><p>"You know you and Yuuri seem to be very close" She said to Viktor.</p><p>"How could we not be? A teacher and student have to get along in order to learn"<br/>He said, I nodded in agreement, eating more of my plate.</p><p>"I suppose that's true.." She said, me and Viktor sighed in relief.</p><p>Eating more, we finally finished. She escorted us outside back to the car. We drove awhile.</p><p>
  <em>I wonder what happened that made them split, when they're so much alike, why would Viktor want to end this!?</em>
</p><p>I stared out the window, while the two laughed in discussion.</p><p>"Yuuri? How come you're so quiet?" She asked me from the wheel.</p><p>"He's always in his mind..." Viktor said rolling his eyes.</p><p>I know why he's acting rude to me, to make the distance between us seem larger to his mother, but he could be at least a little bit more nice!</p><p>
  <em>I am his fiancé</em>
</p><p>I rolled my eyes back. "I guess there isn't much to talk about" I said bluntly looking out the window.</p><p><em>Rude?</em> Two can play at that fake ass game Viktor, I'll just replace '<em>I love you</em>' with <em>'Cool coach</em>', and kisses with play punches.</p><p>"So Yuuri, why'd you decide to have Viktor as your coach?" She asked, I sighed.</p><p>"He was a good skater, nothing else caught my attention, and I wanted the podium...." I said smirking, Viktor stared at me with a blank look that read,</p><p>'<em>Really, you know there's waaaay more then that'.</em></p><p>"Oh, so you used him?" She asked, with a tint of anger.</p><p>"No, He agreed to be my coach... So yes, I used him to an extent, but isn't that why I'm paying him?" I said, Viktor's mom sighed.</p><p>"I suppose you're correct in that aspect... Forgive me for using the term <em>used</em>" She said pulling Into a mansion, I stared at the old pillared entrance.</p><p>"すごい!" I awed at the large building.</p><p>"Huh?" She questioned turning off the engine.</p><p>"Oh your house is beautiful!" I said getting out, she popped the trunk.</p><p>"Thank you!" She replied, while getting out with Viktor. I went to go grab my bag from the trunk and so did he.</p><p>He grabbed me by the shirt, while his Mom was busy with one of the butlers.</p><p>"Nice job, you got my message..." He whispered in my ear, I pushed him violently off, and smirked.</p><p>"Message what message?" I said as innocently as I could.</p><p>"Never mind, get your stupid bag out, you're lucky to even be here!" He snapped, I grabbed my bag, he turned his head and winked at me, I smiled, punching his arm.</p><p>"Ow!" He said rubbing his arm.</p><p>"Oops my bad...." I said innocently, <em>This Is fun</em>, his mother laughed.</p><p>"You disrespectful little sh-" Viktor smirked.</p><p>"Viktor!....Your father will be home in a few hours he's at work" She cut him off from cussing, staring blankly at him.</p><p>"Oh, right.." He said scratching the back of his head.</p><p>"Let's head inside-" Her heels clacked on the marble porch, the butler took our bags. I headed inside, where two large staircases led to two hallways that lead to god knows where.</p><p>A chandelier hung from the high ceiling, on the left there was a door with what seemed to be the living room. I looked over to the right, which seemed to be a bar. Viktor stopped, looking around.</p><p>"You ok?" I asked putting a hand on his shoulder. He pushed it off.</p><p>"I'm fine!" He snapped.</p><p>He's taking this distance thing a little too far, even a student is allowed to care about his coach's feelings! I furrowed my brows.</p><p>"Fine..." I said sternly, walking past him to the stairs. "Hey Mrs. Nikiforov? Where's the bathroom?" I asked sweetly, Viktor looked as if a car had hit his best friend.</p><p>"Yeah, The nearest one is in the living room...here follow me" She said leading me through the large decorated living room, we stopped at a door.</p><p>"There you go!" She said pointing to the door.</p><p>"Thanks..." I said going in, again the room was decorated nicely.</p><p>
  <em>A lot of crosses everywhere.</em>
</p><p>I stared at the cross on the wall, "Stop being angry, It's an act...." I whispered to myself, looking in the mirror. I stared at my ring, I pecked the gold.</p><p>
  <em>This is the proof that He loves me, you don't need to worry any longer. </em>
</p><p>I opened the door walking out, Viktor was sitting with his mom laughing, while looking through a binder that Viktor brought. I sat down on the couch next to Mrs. Nikiforov, the pictures were old, a lot of him and Yakov.</p><p>"There's my first metal, Mom and look! There's me and Chris!" I looked at the risqué photo, of course he would pose with Chris like that.</p><p>"Looks like you two had fun" She smirked, me and Viktor stared at each other, confused.</p><p>"Probably attracted a lot of girls" She said turning the page, I sulked in my chair.</p><p>"I'm very proud of you Viktor..." She smiled, looking at him.</p><p>"Thank you Mom..." He looked down at the binder. He flipped the page.</p><p>"Yakov must be very special to you, he seems to be in every picture." She smiled.</p><p>"He was like my father when I left, I felt just terrible leaving him the way I did, but now we're on good terms" He said flipping through some more pages, he peeked at the next page, immediately slamming the binder closed.</p><p>"What was that for?" She jumped, staring at Viktor.</p><p>"Nothing I just forgot to take some pictures out..." He said putting the binder away.</p><p>"What about the baby pictures?" I asked.</p><p>"Oh! You just reminded me! I'll go get them!" She walked away, Viktor stared at me blankly, but I could tell he was embarrassed.</p><p>"Really?" He complained.</p><p>"Yes, really you saw all my baby photos!" I aggravated, I smiled at him, blushing.</p><p>"You really need to stop the blushing kid..." He said.</p><p>
  <em>Did he just call me kid?!</em>
</p><p>"I'm a kid now?" I asked with a tint of anger.</p><p>"Yes, you're 4 years younger then me..." He said, I rolled my eyes in anger.</p><p>"That must make you a pedophile then" I said pointing to my ring. He blushed, and, god I laughed.</p><p>"Who's blushing now!" I laughed even more.</p><p>"Shut up..." He pouted, I stopped as his mom came in.</p><p>"Here you go!" She put down several baby books and binders.</p><p>"Oh god here we go..." He rolled his eyes, sitting next to me.</p><p>"Ok! First one..." She opened the baby book, inside first was Viktor's birth certificate, along with what height and weight he was.</p><p>"He was a skinny, long baby..." She said turning the page.</p><p>"Isn't he still a skinny long baby?" I asked sarcastically, Viktor hit my arm.</p><p>"There he is getting baptized, he looked so cute in his little tux!" She squealed in excitement. Viktor stared at the photo like a bad memory.</p><p>"And his first haircut, and bath" She flipped the page, and stopped at Viktor drawing.</p><p>"Do you still draw Viktor?" She asked, looking from the stack of drawings.</p><p>"No, I don't have time, with my job, skating and coaching" He said, she handed me the stack, I looked through it, amazed.</p><p>"You knew how to draw and you didn't tell me?" I stared at Viktor, She flipped the page.</p><p>"That's when you decided to grow out your hair..." She pointed to the picture of Viktor, who's hair was at his shoulders.</p><p>"Dad didn't like it..." He said, sounding a little down.</p><p>"Awww! Look your first day at Hinkson Academy..." She squealed again.</p><p>"Oh look, the school from hell..." Viktor said, She hit him on the shoulder.</p><p>"You loved it!" She pouted, turning the page.</p><p>"Oh, there's Ivan Orlov, you're best friend throughout elementary" She said pointing to a dirty blonde boy, with hazel eyes.</p><p>"He was only my friend because you were best friends with his mother, Anne..." Viktor said pointing to the picture of all of them together.</p><p>"Do you and Anne still have contact?" I asked her.</p><p>"Yes, but last I heard she was moving back to the UK" She said turning the page.</p><p>"Oh look your 7th birthday Viktor!" She gleamed in excitement.</p><p>"That was fun, but didn't they misspell my name on the cake?" He pointed at the cake, It was in Russian.</p><p>"Yeah, they put Victoria....when I said Viktor three times" She said blankly, I chuckled.</p><p>We continued through the books for a while, as Viktor's embarrassment grew larger so did the time.</p><p>
  <em>One week of this? Can I even handle one day?</em>
</p><p>I heard the door open as I looked at the clock, 4:30, a tall man walked in, If there was anyone more intimidating I'd like to meet them, The man wore a tux, and had short Grey hair streaked with white.</p><p>"Viktor, long time no see, my son" He said leaning against the couch. I gulped.</p><p>
  <em>Was this really Viktor's father?</em>
</p><p>"Hi, father" Viktor bit his lip, his mom got up and put away the binders in silence. Never have I ever been more worried for my fiancé's life then now.</p><p>"Who did you bring with you?" He looked over at me.</p><p>
  <em>I swear I just jumped.</em>
</p><p>"My student Yuuri Katsuki..." Viktor answered quickly, I shifted away.</p><p>"Pleasure to acquaint you Mr. Katsuki" He held his hand out to me.</p><p>
  <em>ACQUAINT!? I want you fucking away from me!</em>
</p><p>I shakily shook his hand.</p><p>"I always shake up the newbies....It's fine I don't bite..." He said evilly smirking.</p><p><em>DON'T BITE MY ASS!! </em>I internally screamed.</p><p>"Dinner will be ready I presume?" He turned to one of the maids.</p><p>"Y-Yes sir!" The maid stuttered in fear. I looked at Viktor.</p><p>"Is that really your father?" I mouthed over.</p><p>"Yes, just try to stay calm.." I read from his lips, I sat in worry as his mother came back.</p><p>"Welcome home honey!" Mrs. Nikiforov greeted him with a peck on the lips. I saw Viktor almost gag.</p><p>"Was work good?" She asked him, he nodded in response, going back to sit in between me and Viktor.</p><p>"So...how's life Viky?" He asked stretching, Viktor sat in silence turning away.</p><p>"Still doing that skating thing?" He asked again, Viktor nodded.</p><p>"So how about you Yuuri?" He looked over to me, I jumped.</p><p>"It's g-great..." I answered, shaking.</p><p>"What about it is great?" He asked.</p><p>"Ummm..." I paused.</p><p>"The little bloom is getting married soon!!" Mrs. Nikiforov grabbed my hand.</p><p>"Oh! Ugg wrong hand!" She swapped to show the ring.</p><p>"Oh! Congrats, she must be a lucky girl to have you" He said, I looked over at Viktor beyond him, It almost looked like he was crying.</p><p>"Viktor!?" I yelled past his parents rambling. He turned to me, after wiping his face. The two stopped, staring at Him.</p><p>"Yeah?" A tear slid down his face, I wanted so badly to comfort him, But I couldn't.</p><p>"Honey? Sweetheart what's wrong!?" His mom jumped past me to hug him, I was lucky that at least someone cared.</p><p>"It's nothing..." He looked down.</p><p>"After all these years you still make that face huh? I can tell something's wrong!" She cupped his face up.</p><p>"Fishy, Fishy, Fishy, Fish" She squished his face.</p><p>"Stop, I'm too old for that..." He pushed her away, she sighed.</p><p>"What's wrong?" She asked sternly, his father looked a little worried as well, Viktor hugged around her tight, and began to sob in her chest.</p><p>
  <em>Yep, he's broken, I was wondering when he was gonna loose it.</em>
</p><p>His mother looked shocked at first, but hugged back, petting his head. I looked down in worry.</p><p>"I m-missed you M-Mom" I heard him sob through her chest. I don't like seeing Viktor cry, not here, Barcelona, or Kyushu. His father wrapped around the two in a group hug sort of thing. I just sat there, waiting, if I did something it would be suspicious. The maid walked in.</p><p>"Oh! Uh I'll just leave you alone..." She saw the sobbing and then walked out.</p><p>"Y-Yuuri..." He grabbed onto me, I joined the group hug, if Viktor wants me to hug him I will.</p><p>
  <em>This is weird, his frightening father is right next to me.</em>
</p><p>"Viktor, everything's going to be fine..." He hugged around me and his mom tightly.</p><p>
  <em>I can't breathe, Viktor. </em>
</p><p>His mother smiled at me. The sobbing stopped, as I let go of the hug to slip away. Thank god, they didn't grow suspicious.</p><p>"Viktor? Are you ok now?" She asked, moving his bangs from his eyes.</p><p>"Y-Yeah...I just needed to get that out..." He smiled, I twiddled my thumbs awkwardly, as the maid came in again.</p><p>"Dinner Is ready Mr and Mrs Nikiforov..." The maid said.</p><p>"Thank you we'll be there in a bit!" Viktor's Mom yelled.</p><p>"You'll always be our baby no matter what, Viky" She put his loose hair behind his ear, and kissed his head.</p><p>"Let's go eat..." She stood up, grabbing Viktor, I walked beside them as his father trailed behind.</p><p>We walked past this large archway that lead to the dining room, there were only 4 chairs along the large table. I sat down right across from Viktor, his mother and father sat across far from each other.</p><p>The maids came in and sat down some food, only a fork, spoon and knife were provided which meant we weren't going to eat a five course meal.</p><p>"Grace?" His mother asked, I put my hands together in front of my face.</p><p>"Bless us oh lord and these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty, through Christ our lord" His father said aloud.</p><p>
  <em>This is so weird! I'm not used to saying prayers, other than a small thank you. </em>
</p><p>"Amen" We said together, I grabbed my fork and began to eat.</p><p>"Who made this, It's delicious!?" I asked aloud.</p><p>"That would be our caterer" His father said from his plate.</p><p>"You guys have a personal chef?" I asked amazed.</p><p>"Yes, we have for years, I'm surprised he hasn't retired yet..." Viktor's Mom said, patting her mouth with tissue.</p><p>"Old Dmitry hasn't retired?" Viktor asked surprised.</p><p>"Nope says he's dedicated till you come back, I guess that means he's retiring.." She said looking down.</p><p>"Better Not, he's great at cooking..." Viktor chuckled.</p><p>"Did he teach you how to cook?" I asked, knowing Viktor's amazing talent with food.</p><p>"Yeah, wouldn't know how to cook without him" He said eating more, I chuckled slightly.</p><p>_</p><p>
  <em> <b>Viktor's P.O.V.</b> </em>
</p><p>I walked up the stairs with my suitcase, to the room I left ages ago, tracing over the doorframe, I entered. The room was still the same, even after 13 years my trashcan was still filled with crosses.</p><p>I sat on the white canopy bed, the room was awfully dusty seeming as how, I'm pretty sure my Mom couldn't bring herself to enter this room.</p><p>I sighed dressing into my pajamas. I looked in my drawers still filled with acrylics and canvases, I opened an old sketchbook.</p><p>"Oh god!" I said aloud looking at the mistakes I made as a child. I chuckled looking at my old cartoons. I paused at a picture of my senior school graduation.</p><p>
  <em>Why is this in here?</em>
</p><p>I turned over the picture '<em>Gonna miss you Vitya! Hope to visit you in the Secondary Division!</em>'</p><p>Sighed '<em>Ivan Orlov</em>' I remember I got honors and graduated early, causing me to leave a lot of friends. I thought I would just see them the next year, but I got sidetracked with Yakov and the incident. I sighed looking at the picture some more.</p><p>
  <em>Ivan Orlov.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>_</em>
</p><p>"Dude you got the highest score on the test! You could become a mathematician!" Ivan said.</p><p>"Nah, I wasn't that good...." I looked at my paper, He grabbed it from me.</p><p>"121 out of 100?! seriously!?" He shouted holding the paper In front me.</p><p>"Not only did you ace the test itself but you aced the extra credit also!" He threw the paper at me, I laughed, taking it in my hands.</p><p>"It's not my fault you didn't study!" I laughed taking his paper.</p><p>"83 out of 100, not bad for someone who didn't study at all!" I pushed the paper in his face and giggled.</p><p>"Shut up!" Ivan scowled.</p><p>"It's true, you could've flunked" I laughed quietly.</p><p>"My mom would've fucking killed me if I failed" He sighed in relief.</p><p>"We're so lucky we speak English" I said aloud.</p><p>"Yeah, or the teachers would know when we cuss" He said back, I laughed running down the hall with him, I blushed gently at the gesture.</p><p>_</p><p>I heard a soft knock, alerting me from my thoughts. I went toward the door.</p><p>
  <em>Who would knock at 11:47?</em>
</p><p>I opened the door, and there stood Yuuri, I should've known.</p><p>"What are you doing here?!" I loudly whispered.</p><p>"I can't sleep..." He whispered back. I looked around.</p><p>
  <em>Good no one's awake.</em>
</p><p>"Come in!" I whispered opening the door, he came in.</p><p>"We'll we get in trouble!?" Yuuri asked aloud, I grabbed him by the shoulders and lightly kissed him.</p><p>"I can't keep doing this anymore, Yuuri, I feel so bad for the way I treat you outside this room, I was so rud-"</p><p>"I know It's an act Viktor, and we have to play by it, but I want to spend at least the nights with you, even if that means I have to get up really early before your parents..." He cut me off, and smiled, playing with my collar.</p><p>"Okay, come here after 11 though, that's when they're dead asleep" I smiled, he nodded, as I wrapped my arms around him, he hugged me tight.</p><p>"Come on It's bed time..." I said pulling him to the canopy. I pulled the covers over us, I smiled looking at him, as we held hands. I don't know when, but I drifted off to sleep with Yuuri in my arms that night.</p><p>
  <em>Hopefully, we aren't caught.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 6, Fighting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> <b>-4 days later-</b> </em>
  <br/>
  <em> <b>Yuuri's P.O.V.</b> </em>
</p><p>The days passed by like a ticking time bomb. The suspicion kept getting worse to where we stopped visiting each other at all. I kinda wish he would just tell them already.</p><p>But, I also want him to take his own time. I even accidentally caught Mr. Nikiforov cheating, right in front of my eyes. I thank god Viktor is nothing like his father.</p><p>Sitting at a silent table is weird, but it started happening every night, now I can understand what Viktor meant by '<em>broken family'</em>.</p><p>Texting at the table during family events or visitors isn't allowed at my house. But here, texting at the table is no problem.</p><p>I texted Viktor who's obviously on his phone, he didn't answer. I texted again, he looked at me with worried eyes, I texted '<em>sorry</em>'. I feel so out of place, and another worry set my mind, will Viktor leave me if he tells his parents, and they don't approve?</p><p>My depression is taking over.</p><p>
  <em>Of corse he won't! He loves me right? Right? God, you're questioning yourself again.</em>
</p><p>The night went on, I got really bored of the guest room, bored of my questioning, bored of overlooking things, bored of being depressed.</p><p>So, I started walking around the large building, there were lots of rooms upstairs, most were spare rooms or storage, I passed Viktor's room and headed downstairs.</p><p>I went through the dining room to another lounge, a big glass door stood through the middle led to the backyard, I never saw the back even though it was spring and usually you would spend time outside.</p><p>But I'm in Moscow which means It's still snowing. I didn't bother to grab a coat, because I would have to go all the way back upstairs, and that's too much work, so I stepped outside.</p><p>"Shit it's cold..." I chattered my teeth, closing the glass door. The backyard started with a large patio, containing grills and tables with umbrellas. There was a large garden far to both sides, trimming around the black fence. In the middle stood a plastic covered pool and spa.</p><p>"Geez, how do they even swim in this weather..." I walked down the patio to look at the pool, there was a waterfall attached to it which wasn't on. I couldn't walk to the garden or I'd freeze from frostbite. So I sat in one of the chairs and went on my phone. Scrolling Instagram, I got a call from Yurio, which I mean, isn't regular. I answered, thinking something was up.</p><p>"Hello?" I quietly questioned.</p><p>"Piggy listen to me carefully if you want to fucking live..." He said aloud.</p><p>"Okay..?" I questioned, looking around.</p><p>"Get the fuck out of that house, or you'll be killed, beaten or whatever that scumbag wants to do to you! I heard the news from Christophe and asked Yakov about what he meant..." He slowly said, my eyes widened and then narrowed.</p><p>"What do you mean!? Viktor's parents are fine!" I yelled.</p><p>"Yakov told me about how Viktor's father almost killed Vitya! Yuuri goddamn it! Listen to me! Believe It or fucking not, I care about you! And don't want you dead! If he finds out about you and Vity-" I hung up, I didn't want to hear anymore, my glasses became slightly foggy from my tears.</p><p>
  <em>I have to tell his mother, his mom would understand, she loves Viktor.</em>
</p><p>I walked back into the house, I thought I heard myself crying but it was a woman's voice. I followed through the house to the noise. I stopped at an office that was slightly open, I opened the door to see Mrs. Nikiforov crying and holding some papers, I've never seen her cry.</p><p>But, news to me she cries exactly like Viktor, I didn't know what to do, so I just hugged her, of course she flinched at first but then continued to cry. I just let her cry on me, until she stopped. She looked up to me, tears in her eyes still.</p><p>"You're a g-good man Katsuki..." She said sadly.</p><p>"Yeah, I guess I am..." I said backing up a little, she sniffled.</p><p>"Now that you're calm what's the matter?" I asked her, she sighed and handed me the printed papers. I looked at the Facebook texts, obviously she found out he was cheating.</p><p>"I thought he loved me, and I feel so s-stupid for not believing V-Viky..." She sniffled more.</p><p>"I caught him too, I'm so sorry for your relationship..."I put my hand on her shoulder for comfort.</p><p>"It looks l-like you were crying too.." She pointed at my reddened eyes.</p><p>"About that...Mrs. Nikiforov, I need to tell you something..." I walked out the room and looked around for anyone, no one was around. I came back in.</p><p>"You want to know more about your son right?" I said pulling out my phone, she stared at me in confusion.</p><p>"Yes, I do want to know more, I was gone out of his life for 13 years because of that stupid cheater" She narrowed her eyes, I handed her my phone.</p><p>"There are some things that might surprise you in that phone, and I trust that you won't get angry and accept Viktor for who he really is, he's an amazing man, I should know..." I said taking out a paper and pen, I wrote quickly.</p><p>"Here's my passcode, all my social media pages are on there, along with Viktor's, everything is shown, you can even go on Viktor's Facebook if you want, just go to switch accounts his password is on this paper also, I just want the best for him, and I know you can help, as a mother I know you have to love him to some extent...." I handed her the paper, she looked it over, staring in confusion.</p><p>"His password is your last name?" She asked, I nodded.</p><p>"Everything will make sense Mrs. Nikiforov, and please when you confront him, don't say I gave you this information, I also have an identical phone so any suspicion won't be there..." I said, she smiled.</p><p>"Thank you Yuuri..." She held the phone tight.</p><p>"Mm Hm" I nodded in response.</p><p>"I'm gonna go now so..." I stepped to the doorway.</p><p>"Bye" She said.</p><p>"Bye..." I closed the door behind me and let out a huge sigh, I started walking back upstairs and got stopped by Mr. Nikiforov.</p><p>"What are you doing up this late at night?"<br/>He intimidatingly said.</p><p>"Looking around.." I said quietly.</p><p>"In my son's pants?" He grabbed me by the collar, I flinched as he lifted me off the ground.</p><p>"No! Not at all! He's my coach!" I yelled in fear.</p><p>"So it's normal to sleep with your coach now is it!?" He yelled in my face, I quivered.</p><p>"No! It isn't! I'm sorry just please let me go!!" I screamed, all of the sudden he got punched in the face, clean and cold out like a light, I grabbed around my neck from the collar pulling.</p><p>"Yuuri!? are you ok!?" Viktor put his hands around my arms searching for marks.</p><p>"Yeah I'm fine, he was drunk I could smell the alcohol in his mouth" I said looking up at Viktor.</p><p>"Does It hurt anywhere?" He asked still searching.</p><p>"No, I said I was fine but what about your father?" I asked looking at the man on the stairs passed out.</p><p>"It's fine just help me drag him to his bed, he won't remember anything in the morning and He'll think the head injury is just a hangover...." I nodded, helping Viktor drag the man to his bed, we pulled the covers over him and walked out the room.</p><p>"What the fuck were you thinking Yuuri!?" Viktor yelled at me.</p><p>"I was just bored of my room so I visited the backyard!" I yelled back.</p><p>"Visited the backyard....Why the fuck would you go out to the backyard without shoes!?" He sarcastically laughed.</p><p>"I told you! I was bored and wanted to get my mind off some things!!" I yelled at him.</p><p>"Some things? What fucking stupid shit is your mind thinking now!?" He insulted me, I wanted to cry, but I just got more angry.</p><p>"Oh?! The stupid shit that you're putting me through asshole!" Viktor's eyes widened and then narrowed even more. "I just got strangled practically by your father! I didn't sign up for that!"</p><p>"You're the one who wanted to do this stupid crap in the first place!!! Or did you forget fucker!?" He yelled louder.</p><p>"Fucker? You know what? Just fuck you...." I sternly said.</p><p>"You would gladly want to!" He yelled at me, I turned around and slapped him. He held his cheek, I grabbed my hand in confusion.</p><p>"Oh my god, Viktor I'm sorry- I didn't mea-"<br/>I tried to grab his cheek, he pushed me away.</p><p>"I got the memo Yuuri, you hate me..." He tried to walk past me, I grabbed him and pulled him to a kiss.</p><p>"Viktor I love you, not hate you...I'm sorry, s-so deeply sorry..." I cried out, Viktor backed away.</p><p>"Yuuri, I know you're lying" He plainly said.</p><p>"If I'm lying what the hell am I wearing this ring for!?" I pointed to the gold.</p><p>"It's just a lucky charm remember?" He said, I looked in shock as tears filled my eyes.</p><p>"Viktor! I l-love you p-please! Please this isn't a lie!! I-I love y-you!! Please don't leave me!! Vik-" I fell to my knees and sobbed.</p><p>
  <em>It was over, we were over. </em>
</p><p>My tears got worse, and I started to scream a little through my sobs. I was having a panic attack again, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think-</p><p>"Yuuri, I didn't mean any of that!! Please don't cry, I love you too...I forgive you, I'm sorry!! Please don't cry, You're my fiancé!! My fiancé, my one and only!! So please look up at me!!" My sobbing stopped I hugged around Viktor tightly.</p><p>"Please don't ever fight with me again, I get angry and say fucked up crap, and then you're a crying mess and I'm a crying mess" He said wiping his own tears away, and cupped my face wiping my tears away. I pouted out my lip, he kissed me.</p><p>
  <em>I don't care who hears us.</em>
</p><p>I passionately kissed him back, my anxiety slowly calming down throughout the small pecks and caressing.</p><p>
  <em>I must be selfish, I don't want anyone else to kiss his lips, they were mine! Viktor Nikiforov the skating legend is mine, his face, his hair, his eyes, his body is mine, no one else, and I'm his.</em>
</p><p>I kissed his cheek lightly as he picked me up and opened his bedroom door, he lightly placed me on the bed, and you know that rest that you have after no sleep for a while, well that's what I had.</p><p>_</p><p>
  <b> <em>Viktor's P.O.V.</em> </b>
</p><p>I woke up to knocking on my door, I shot up, kissing Yuuri's head, as I covered Yuuri with my blanket. I slowly made my way to the door and opened it.</p><p>"Viky, can we talk....about some things..." My mother asked at the door.</p><p>"Sure, what is it?" I asked, leaning against the doorframe, not really worried.</p><p>"Well, you need to come with me and talk in private..." She said, now I was worried.</p><p>"Oh, uh sure, Is dad gone?" I asked closing the door behind me.</p><p>"Yes, he is, now follow me.." She grabbed my hand a little violently, I followed regardless, we walked through the house and stopped at the dining room she brought me in, locking all the doors. I sat in a chair, basically sweating.</p><p>"S-so what is it you want to talk to me about?" I tried to act calm, she opened a suitcase, and put down a stack of papers.</p><p>"So professional...." I teased, she didn't laugh which made me more nervous.</p><p>"Would you like to look over these?" She asked I nodded and grabbed the papers, I looked them over. I sat in shock looking at the posts of Yuuri and me one clearly labeled '<em>so lucky I found him, my fiancé Yuuri Katsuki</em>' with 2.5m likes on Instagram. I didn't say anything but slowly teared up.</p><p>"I'm sorry...." I broke the silence, she looked at me with cold eyes.</p><p>"So, he's your fiancé?" She asked.</p><p>"Yes, but we started off as student and coach..." I answered quickly.</p><p>"I don't care..." She snapped, I slightly flinched, "I have one question for you.."<br/>She said, I nodded in response.</p><p>"Are you happy?" She asked, I furrowed my brows in confusion.</p><p>"Let me rephrase that, Do you love him truly?" She repeated, I gulped.</p><p>"Of course I do he's my fiancé..." I said still looking at the papers.</p><p>"Katsuki's a wonderful man, and-" She stopped, I sweated even more.</p><p>"And he'd make a perfect Nikiforov...." She said smiling, my mouth dropped in shock.</p><p>"Really!? Mom, you accept the fact that I'm gay?" I asked, she nodded.</p><p>"I was only religious because of your cheating father...." She emphasized '<em>cheating</em>', I looked down and smiled brightly.</p><p>"What are you going to do about dad?"<br/>I asked putting down the papers.</p><p>"I payed for 80% of the house, so I'm kicking him out on his ass for cheating and abusing you!" She snapped in anger.</p><p>"Where will he go?" I asked, she gave me an angry look.</p><p>"With that bitch I call a friend!! I hope he enjoys his new wife!" She yelled, I chuckled a little.</p><p>"I haven't heard you cuss in so long..." I laughed a little more.</p><p>"This family won't fall apart if he leaves! You and Yuuri are all the family I need..."<br/>She said throwing the papers away.</p><p>"You think Yuuri's family?" I asked, she nodded.</p><p>"My only request from you young man is to provide me with grandkids to spoil, I'm 57 and have waited long enough!" She hit me on the arm, I laughed hysterically.</p><p>"Of course ma, you'll have the most amazing grandkids!" I blushed at the thought of a family with Yuuri.</p><p>"You better!" She giggled.</p><p>"So ma, when are you kicking him out?"<br/>I asked.</p><p>"Tonight!! At dinner I'll confront him, if he lies I'll bring out evidence, and if he gets violent..." She stopped.</p><p>"I'll defend both you and Yuuri, ok Mom?"<br/>I said putting my hand on her shoulder.</p><p>"Thank you, now stop worrying about me and go wake up your fiancé!" She laughed, I walked out and up to My room. I opened the door to find Yuuri looking through my sketchbooks.</p><p>"Where were you?" He turned the chair a little toward me. I smiled the biggest smile ever.</p><p>"Seriously!?" He said in shock knowing why I was smiling. I nodded rapidly, he got up and hugged me tightly.</p><p>"Viktor that's amazing!!" He pecked my lips, I smiled putting his black hair behind his ear so I could see his face better.</p><p>"You wanna know something else?" I asked him.</p><p>"What?" He quietly asked.</p><p>"She said you'd make a perfect Nikiforov..." I said brightly, he blushed and nuzzled into my chest.</p><p>"I'd love to be a Nikiforov..." He mumbled in my chest, I hugged around him tightly.</p><p>"And I'd love to be your husband" I kissed his head, he flustered and wrapped around my waist.</p><p><em>I can't wait</em>.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 7, Tsundere</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <br/>
  <em> <b>Yurio's P.O.V.</b> </em>
</p><p>I wake up stupidly always next to my cat. And also stupidly go to the fucking Ice rink with Yakov, to do training for the Olympics.</p><p>That pig, Kat'suky' Is gonna get himself killed, I won't go to that stupid funeral! I guess most of my life's been confusing as fuck, well only now that is, stupid skating has brought me to the realization of lov- I ain't even going to say that!</p><p>Let's just say my annoying heart beats like 240 mph around stupid Altin. Yep! Not even going to say his first name!</p><p>But get this, at the Banquet Party, My stupid ass decided It was a great idea to kiss the dude, and run away like a little pussy. Yeah, ain't I great!? Not! He's texted me several times but I don't have the guts to look at the tweets, kik, messenger, texts, or fucking snaps that he's sent.</p><p>Whoo Hoo Me!!! Someone please chop my head off and feed it to some starving cats!!! I'd be better off dead then dealing with a rejection.</p><p>"Yuri? Something ze matter?" Mila asked me while I was tangling my hair in rage.</p><p>"No!" I snapped really loud.</p><p>"Mila leave the child alone! He's dealing with pub-" Yakov yelled across the rink.</p><p>"Shut THE FUCK UP OLD MAN!" I cut him off storming out the rink.</p><p>
  <em>God he's sooo stupid, I'm not hitting pub-</em>
</p><p>I stared over the wall.</p><p>"Am I getting taller!?" I snapped seeing that my height was out of place.</p><p>
  <em>Fuck me running at this stupid shit!!!</em>
</p><p>I stared in the mirror placed in the locker room, my hair was rapidly growing too, almost passing my shoulder blades in the back.</p><p>
  <em>Can someone please kill me!?</em>
</p><p>I put my boots on and threw on my jacket, I knew it was fucking cold as shit, and Russian winters are a bitch, that's why stupid fucking Napoleon and Hitler failed in this shit.</p><p>I started walking away from the rink. Stupid Yakov! Whatever I'll come back tomorrow and deal with his shit! I looked back rethinking but bumped into someone.</p><p>"Hey?! Watch where you're fucking goi-"<br/>I stared up from the ground, there stood a 5'6" Otabek Altin. I tried to get up and walk past the asswipe but he grabbed my arm.</p><p>
  <em>Please kill me!!</em>
</p><p>"Hey, Yura we need to talk..." I pulled away from his grasp with a slight curse to myself.</p><p>"About what!" I cracked.</p><p>
  <em>Fucking death at this puberty shit!</em>
</p><p>I wanted to run again, but my stupid heart wanted to stay with a passion.</p><p>"About the Banquet party..." He clearly said, I tried to dash away but he grabbed me again.</p><p>"Is it always your choice to run away when something's important?!" He snapped at me, I looked away, as guilt filled my face instead of anger.</p><p>"I traveled across Europe because you wouldn't answer a simple text!" I looked away, not wanting to deal with the situation.</p><p>"Yura!? What made you not answer my texts!?" I turned to him with an angry look.</p><p>"You're a dumbass, you wanna know why I didn't answer your stupid texts!? Because I was afraid to know your answer! Because You're just so stupid to not know how it feels like to want to love someone so dearly It hurts!" I paused to breathe, I was loosing it.</p><p>"A-and they don't like you back!! A-and every time y-you see their face you couldn't stand just to be f-friends! Do you know how that feels!!? Do you Beka!?" I yelled with tears spilling down my face out of anger.</p><p>"I do, everyday we practiced, everyday in Barcelona, I couldn't stand your face just being the face of a competitor, a friend, every inching second. I wish I grabbed you at the Banquet, I wished I kissed you back, I traveled thousands of miles to tell you three words, I love you" His words stopped my heart.</p><p>Yeah, my grandpa and parents told me that before. But this love is different it's what's the fucking word!? Intimate!! That's it! Intimate or better yet, romantic. I opened my mouth to say something back but, I couldn't for a good 30 seconds.</p><p>"And I know you're scared, Yura, I know I'm saying this a little early, or whatever, but, I've never met anyone like you, and I don't open up to people... You know that, actually you know me better than my-"</p><p>"I love you too" I cut him off under my breath. I hugged around him and fell right under his chin, I was right I did get taller.</p><p>My face was cupped by his large hands, as he slowly tried to pull me closer to him, I stood on my tippy toes, the second kiss of my life was the most amazing, tearful thing I'd experienced in my life.</p><p>These feelings I kept locked deep inside were shared by the same person who put them there. His lips were soft as shit! Not even a cat's fur could beat them! Well, depending on the cat, why am I thinking about cats in a moment like this? I panted letting go of the kiss, How the fuck do Viktor and that pig not die from hyperventilation!?</p><p>I went back to my normal height, clinging to his tough leather jacket, blushing my mind off, I swear I'm redder then a fucking stupid tomato right now!! I slowly looked up to him, a soft smile grazed his lips and he was blushing too.</p><p>"Will the Russian Fairy be mine?" He pushed my loose hair behind my ear, my eyes widened as I pinched myself hard, I hissed in pain.</p><p>
  <em>Yep, not a fucking dream Yuri!!</em>
</p><p>Part of me was stupidly hesitant, but I stopped flailing in embarrassment and looked at him again.</p><p>"Yeah, just as long as you're mine too loser..." I pouted as I flustered, his eyes lit up as he smiled. I smiled brightly back, only three things in this world can make me truly smile Cats, Grandpa, and Beka.</p><p>"Of course, Why would I ask you if I didn't give the same?" He chuckled, I playfully punched his arm.</p><p>"I know what You meant!" I yelled up at him, clinging to him tighter.</p><p>"You got taller, if you didn't notice"<br/>He petted my head, I growled.</p><p>"I hate Pu-BeRTy!" I cracked badly, he chuckled loudly.</p><p>"This stupid shIT is throwing off my fuckINg skating!" I yelled in his chest.</p><p>"It's also throwing off your tough act" He kissed my head.</p><p>"Shut Up!" I pouted.</p><p>"Okay..." He said.</p><p>"No keep TalkINg!! I'm lonely..." I yelled, He chuckled loudly.</p><p>"You're such a Tsundere..." He rested his chin on my head.</p><p>"You're using stupid words from the pig now?" I muffled in his chest.</p><p>"I guess so.." He said, I pouted.</p><p>"It's cold, you shouldn't have bought at ticket here..." I said as as I heard Yakov complain in the background.</p><p>"Yuri!" He yelled with his raspy voice.</p><p>"What!?" I yelled angry, turning way from Otabek.</p><p>"Why the hell would you leave practice like that!?" He yelled in my face, I blinked blankly at him.</p><p>"Yuri, don't give me that stupid face and go back to practice!! And what the hell is Otabek doing here!!?" Yakov questioned.</p><p>"He's here for me.." I said quietly blushing.</p><p>"Why?!" He snapped, I rolled my eyes.</p><p>"To steal the heart of the Ice Tiger.." He said aloud, I gawked at the cheesiness.</p><p>"What!? Don't tell me you're together?" He pointed to us, I nodded in happiness to make him more mad.</p><p>"Ugg, just one successful skater can't be straight?" He aggravated, I laughed thinking.</p><p>"What about Georgi he's straight..." I said.</p><p>"He's dramatic!" He immediately answered, Me and Beka laughed hysterically.</p><p>"Why don't you practice with us?" I turned to Beka, He nodded slightly.</p><p>"Come on!!" I dragged Yakov's complaining ass with us to the door. I kicked it open, going back into the stupid place.</p><p>"I told you not to kick that!" Yakov hit me on the back, Beka laughed as I cussed at Yakov.</p><p>"So you're back? That fast?" Mila asked me as Otabek stepped in. She smirked and then laughed over the Ice Rim.</p><p>"Y-You!! Hahahaha!!! I- ooh catch my breath....Ok, okay, I'm good no-Pfffft!!" She tried to talk, my anger grew more and more.</p><p>"Shut The FUCK UP MILA!! Jesus fucking Christ!" I yelled, slamming my hands on the Rim. I was yelling more and more, as Mila's laughing got louder. I stopped when I heard Otabek laughing. Mila's laughing soon stopped after mine.</p><p>"You two are like siblings..." He calmly said. We glared at each other with hateful eyes.</p><p>"I'd kill myself If I was related to her!" I yelled, vigorously putting my skates on.</p><p>"Same!" She yelled from the middle of the ice. I walked to the entrance of the rink, skating around the rim.</p><p>"Come on Beka!!" I yelled over, He took off his jacket and skated toward me. I stopped in my tracks, he was only wearing a tank top. I blushed brightly looking at him.</p><p>"Something the Matter?" He said cocking his head in confusion.</p><p>"Nothing! Nothing's wrong!"<br/>I squeaked turning away to cover my face. I skated away from him, not wanting to think the thoughts that I did.</p><p>
  <em>You're disgusting Yuri Plisetsky! Why the hell would you think nasty thoughts during practice?!</em>
</p><p>I skated faster, doing a triple salchow and toe flip.</p><p>Practice will keep him off my mind, I did a triple lutz, falling into a spin combo.</p><p>
  <em>But he's right there, watching me!</em>
</p><p>I stopped, looking behind me, Mila was talking to him. I burned with that feeling, you know, that unexplainable anger? I constantly got this same feeling around that Pig! Although, I've gotten better about it, doesn't change my feelings.</p><p>But, looking at Mila, who was naturally flirty, around anyone; that someone being Otabek right now, made me pissed.</p><p>I was pissed, because I was jealous,</p><p>
  <em>And I don't like admitting that. </em>
</p><p>"Mine!" I hissed, Mila automatically went into hysterical laughing again.</p><p>"You two are together?" Georgi skated up to ask.</p><p>"Yeah, we are" Beka said silently, Mila's laughing got louder.</p><p>"Shut up!! It's not like you fucking aren't dating Sala!!" I yelled, she just kept laughing.</p><p>"Why are you still fucking laughing!?" I asked loudly, Beka chuckled.</p><p>"I-It's just you said th-that love is for s-stu- hahaha! Stupid pigs, and pigs are d-dumbasses!! You called your future s-self a dumb- pfft! Pig!" She laughed even more, I twitched my eye in anger.</p><p>"Ha! That is kinda funny..." Georgi started to laugh too as my anger got worse.</p><p>"Shut up both of you!!" I yelled my head off, they just contined. I took off one of my skates.</p><p>"I will cut you with these knife shoes!!"<br/>I waved It in the air.</p><p>_</p><p>The day passed on as practice ended and everyone left but me and Otabek. I don't really know much about love or about how to fucking nurture it.</p><p>All I know is I have to follow my urges, well, the sensible ones, being fucked over a bed Is not a good urge to follow. I know that, and I think that's my hormones talking to me, not what I really want to do.</p><p>Yeah sure, I'd want to fuck my boyfriend but now's not the best time for that. I wonder what Beka would say if he could read my mind?</p><p>He probably just thinks, I think about cats all the time or skating, when in fact his face is in my mind 24/7. I rested my head on his shoulder, the cold ass air made my breath visible.</p><p>I was waiting for my grandpa to pick us up, and I'm going to have to explain that Beka's my boyfriend and not best friend. Which is going to be interesting, I mean grandpa isn't homophobic in fact we went to rainbow festivals and shit when I was a kid.</p><p>"Beka?" I asked aloud.</p><p>"Hmm?" He hummed in response.</p><p>"What do you think the public will think of us?" I questioned, tapping my phone.</p><p>"Oh, Well....I think they'll be saying '<em>finally</em>' or something like that" He said, I looked down intertwining my hand with his, they were rough, I smiled slightly at the gesture.</p><p>"You came across Europe for me?" I asked looking in his dark brown eyes.</p><p>"Yeah why not? I care about you.." He kissed my cheek, I jumped slightly and punched his arm.</p><p>"Ow!" He rubbed his arm and chuckled, I hid my blushing face with my hoodie.</p><p>"Don't surprise me like that idiot!" I yelled hiding more, he chuckled out gently.</p><p>I turned quickly and grabbed his jacket and kissed him, I don't know how long it lasted, but it felt wonderful. I heard a beep and broke the kiss.</p><p>
  <em>Well shit, nice timing grandpa!</em>
</p><p>I pushed Beka away, trying to piece back any good terms with my grandpa, especially after that.</p><p>"Yurachka? You've got some explaining to do!" He yelled getting out the car, regardless I hugged him.</p><p>"Grandpa!" I smiled brightly to him.</p><p>"Who's this?!" He said poking Beka with his cane.</p><p>"That's Otabek Altin, my boyfriend..." I said to my grandpa he turned back to me.</p><p>"I always knew you'd be gay..." He turned back to the car, chuckling sarcastically.</p><p>"What!?" I turned in question.</p><p>"Skating, Ballet, growing your hair out, the time you had a tiny crush on Viktor, yeah It was obvious" He stepped in the car, my mouth dropped.</p><p>
  <em>Well shit, he's not as blind as I thought, literally. </em>
</p><p>I went in the front seat while Beka sat in the back. We buckled our seatbelts quickly.</p><p>"So what caught your eye about my grandson?" He asked starting the car.</p><p>"Well I kinda had a crush on him since I was a kid, got kicked out of practice with him-" He began.</p><p>"I guess It was his eyes and how he looked at the world that really got me" He answered, my grandpa looked at me and fixed his hat.</p><p>"He's a keeper..." He said driving out the parking lot.</p><p>"So Yura? Why did you like him?" He asked me from the wheel.</p><p>"He was nice to me, and he supported me, my views, and I supported his, so naturally I slowly liked him" I said playing with my collar adjuster on my jacket.</p><p>"Wait how old are you?" He asked Beka.</p><p>"18...is there something wrong with that?"<br/>Beka answered.</p><p>"I thought you were 24 or something you look like it.." He chuckled.</p><p>"Yura just turned 16 a month ago..." He said looking at me.</p><p>"Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I brought this for you, well for your birthday since you didn't answer my texts.." He pulled out a wrapped gift from his large jacket pocket. He gave it to me.</p><p>"What?! You didn't have to-" I opened the present and It was a little stuffed kitty.</p><p>"Squish it" He said, I looked at it confused but squeezed the little thing.</p><p>"Mraaaaw!" It meowed, I squished it again, It made a different meow.</p><p>"It's so cute!" I looked back at Beka and squished it again.</p><p>"Potya is gonna go crazy over that thing.."<br/>My grandpa said, I nodded squeezing it again.</p><p>"Meeeew!" It blared.</p><p>"Who's Potya?" Beka asked, I looked back at him.</p><p>"Potya is my cat...she's very playful and lazy, oh! and hot headed" I said looking back at the stuffed cat.</p><p>"Sounds like you.." He said looking out the window.</p><p>"Damn this snow..." My grandpa complained, driving through it.</p><p>"You guys always go through this..." He asked, My grandpa nodded.</p><p>"Not that it's much of a bother-" He paused, "Cause now we're home.." He pulled into the garage.</p><p>"Nice house..." Beka said getting out the car. I got out immediately and ran to the door, and pulled out my key.</p><p>"Meow!" I meowed, Potya came running.</p><p>"Potya!!" I picked her up in my arms with my bag in my hand. My grandpa chucked coming in, I went to my room to set down my stuff, shuffling back into the living room.</p><p>I put Potya immediately on Beka's lap as he was sitting down on the couch. She hissed at first, and then Beka petted her and quickly snuggled on him.</p><p>"Yep she's just like you...." He said to me as I sat back down next to him.</p><p>"How?" I asked petting her too.</p><p>"You're all aggressive until you get attention...." He said, petting Potya more.</p><p>"Not true!" I said.</p><p>"It is true, and you hate it when people don't pay attention to you, but I always pay attention so I guess that's why you didn't hate me" He said, my eyes widened in realization.</p><p>
  <em>Damn he knows more about me, better than I know myself.</em>
</p><p>I petted Potya gently on that thought.</p><p>"Kids? You guys want pizza?" My grandpa yelled.</p><p>"Yeah!" I answered.</p><p>"Ok I'm gonna go get It! Try not to make too much noise!" My grandpa yelled.</p><p>
  <em>Why would we make too much noi- Oh my god!!</em>
</p><p>"Grandpa!!" I yelled in embarrassment, Beka looked at me, clueless.</p><p>"Why would we make too much noi-" He paused, stopping himself in realization, "Oh" Beka blushed in embarrassment.</p><p>
  <em>Kill me!!</em>
</p><p>"So? Uh, wanna go to my room, I gotta set up the futon on the floor" I asked, He nodded, I picked up Potya and walked back to me room, Beka followed with his stuff.</p><p>"Sorry it's messy, I gotta clean a little"<br/>I moved stuff outta the way to get to my closet, placing Ports down on the floor.</p><p>I got out the mat and extra blankets. I started picking my clothes off the ground, putting them in my hamper. I quickly threw my garbage in the trash bin, I took out the dishes set in my room, and washed them in the kitchen sink. I came back from the kitchen and set up the mat.</p><p>"You should win an award for cleaning a room under 5 minutes..." He chuckled still on the bed.</p><p>"I don't think I'd win at that, but I already hold a record remember?" I smiled, he laughed a little.</p><p>"God you're stingy, but, I love you for that..." He said lying down with the cat on his stomach. I blushed, sitting on the bed too.</p><p>"You're an idiot but I love you for that"<br/>I said back, lying next to him.</p><p>
  <em>It's not like this is the first time we'd spend the night together, but it felt as if it did.</em>
</p><p>For some reason I wanted to snuggle close to him and fall asleep. But of course my ass didn't, instead, he pulled me next to him. Weirdly, I snuggled in his chest and stayed there looking at him Instagram scrolling.</p><p>"Wow, that's a lot of art..." He said scrolling more.</p><p>"It's Viktor's, I know his art" I said thinking of when I got done a portrait by him one time.</p><p>
  <em>Bastard doesn't talk about how talented he is, unless it's skating. </em>
</p><p>"Really? Huh?" He kept scrolling.</p><p>"Wanna take a pic together?" He asked me, I nodded as he clicked the middle button to take the picture and post it.</p><p>For some reason Yuri's Angels follow him and stalk his personal page. Though he posted it on both, private and public.</p><p>An automatic notification on my phone came up from Viktor, I clicked it seeing the picture. Of course It was the one we just posted.</p><p>'Having fun tonight?' Viktor texted.</p><p>'No you fucking old perv' I texted back.</p><p>'Wow! I didn't mean <em>THAT</em> but ok' He texted.</p><p>'Yeah like I believe that...🙄' I texted.</p><p>'Is he dead yet?'<br/>I texted.</p><p>'Who dead?😰' He texted I rolled my eyes in anger.</p><p>'🐷' I sent him the emoji.</p><p>'No, why would he die?' Viktor texted.</p><p>'Dumbass your father is a fucking murderer!!' I texted crossing my brows.</p><p>'I'm keeping Yuuri safe ok?' He texted.</p><p>'Fine stupid!' I messaged back, I exited my texts and turned off my phone. I groaned in Beka's chest.</p><p>"Is the kitty angry?" He patted my head I pouted as I heard the front door open.</p><p>"Pizza!!!" I yelled running to the counter, Grandpa put it down and I automatically opened the pizza box and stuffed a piece in my mouth.</p><p>Beka slowly came up behind me, and grabbed a piece. I scarfed down my food and almost choked, luckily my grandpa poured Cola for me.</p><p>"Do you always do that with any food?" Beka asked slowly eating a piece.</p><p>"You should see him when he eats Pirozhki, he's even worse..." My grandpa said aloud, I scarfed another piece.</p><p>"Hm, he looks content with the pizza.."<br/>Beka said.</p><p>"Meaw Mrraw! Meow! Prrar!" Potya meowed, jumping slightly, I tossed down a pepperoni and she quieted.</p><p>"So? What'd ya do why I was gone?" My grandpa asked.</p><p>"I cleaned my bitchy room..." I said eating another bite. My grandpa chuckled, as he ate too.</p><p>"Yeah, under 5 minutes..." Otabek rolled his eyes, I laughed.</p><p>"Under 5 minutes where did my grandson go?" He asked looking at me scarfing still.</p><p>"He's still here..." Beka said getting a napkin, he rubbed it on my face.</p><p>"Sorry the sauce was bothering me..."<br/>He said, I ate my last bite, and went to crash on the couch. I turned the TV on and grabbed the bag of chips next to my couch.</p><p>"Does he usually do this?" Beka asked.</p><p>"Everyday, except he usually goes to his room and sleeps after eating" My grandpa answered, I didn't really pay attention to the conversation after that. I just scrolled the stupid TV for interesting channels. I stopped and my chip fell out of my mouth.</p><p>"Mean Girls!!!" I clicked on the show before it since the last 5 minutes of 'Living with the Kardashians' was on.</p><p>
  <em>How the fuck do Americans find this shit entertaining? It's just a bunch of stupid fucking family members fighting.</em>
</p><p>I ate my chips and ignored the show with my phone. Beka came to sit down.</p><p>"What was the yelling for?" He questioned me.</p><p>"Mean Girls is coming on..." I said, scrolling Facebook.</p><p>"Mean Girls? Never heard of it..." He said, my mouth dropped.</p><p>"You mean you've never watched Mean Girls!!?" I yelled in shock.</p><p>"No, I said never heard of it" He said my mouth dropped more.</p><p>"Oh here we go..." My grandpa chuckled.</p><p>"We're definitely watching all of it now"<br/>I said looking at the end credits of the last show.</p><p>"You need to see this amazing shit" I said as commercials came on.</p><p>"Okay, If you enjoy it I will..." He said watching the opening of the movie.</p><p>_</p><p>The movie ended, my grandpa already went to sleep and I was basically dozing off. Beka was still wide awake or looked as If he was, I rolled around and put my head on his lap.</p><p>"Sleepy?" He asked, I nodded getting off the couch. Beka followed me back to the room, I got comfortable on the mat and laid down.</p><p>"Are you sure you don't want the bed?" He asked, I nodded lazily, and scrolled my phone, before I knew It Beka was passed out.</p><p>While it was 1 am with my texting, yeah I'm a fucking liar when it comes to me wanting to sleep here. I got up and snuggled right next to Beka. Unfortunately, he woke up and wrapped his arms around me.</p><p>"You still want the mat now?" He kissed my head, I laid quietly, not answering.</p><p>"I'll take that as a no"<br/>He drifted off to sleep, My height is small as shit so I just stared at his chest weirdly. I stretched up to peck his lips and went back down and snuggled more in his chest.</p><p>
  <em>Can I stay here forever?</em>
</p><p>I think I fell asleep, because when I woke up, the fucking rays outside penetrated my fucking pupils like a flashlight. Either way, I wanted to spend the rest of my life next to Beka.</p><p>
  <em>Maybe, not even a maybe, I did</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 8, Stawberry Wine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>Viktor's P.O.V</em>
  </b>
</p><p>I posted some of my old artwork online since Yuuri basically begged me to. It got a lot of likes surprisingly. Me and Yuuri basically hung out in my old room the whole day, going over my old artwork and pictures that I still had.</p><p>I know he had a lot of questions on his mind because he makes this face, It's like he's searching for something but he just can't get the words out.</p><p>It kind of reminds me of when he asked me to marry him in Barcelona, he couldn't say the words aloud, but I knew what he meant, and I told him he wouldn't have to think about it, because my answer was <em>yes</em>.</p><p>When he makes that face his eyes grow a calm color, his eyes always change to his emotions. So, I've learned to read them instead of listening to words that he wouldn't say in the first place.</p><p>His eyes turn almost pitch black when he's happy, when he feels love his eyes turn this beautiful shade of chestnut. When he's lustful his eyes turn red, and especially when he preformed Eros.</p><p>Right now they're a glittery brown, which means he's searching for something. I want to know what that is, what does he want?</p><p>He scares me sometimes, especially with his depression, it makes him question a lot of things he doesn't need to worry about. Like, if I'm going to stay by him, or if my love is true.</p><p>He almost quit his career because of me, and I thank god Yurio won. He always hides his feelings so he can keep me not worried.</p><p>Though, I can't talk that much about hiding feelings, because I've hid them for over 13 years, in worse depression than him.</p><p>The problem is, I hid it with medals, succession, and a heart shaped smile that stole the heart of thousands.</p><p>I also cut my hair under pressure of the past, not because It got in my way, we need to stop lying to each other and open up about everything.</p><p>How are we going to get married if we aren't even truthful to one another? Marriage from what I was taught, was a binding of trust, love, and dependence.</p><p>
  <em>I couldn't even be honest about my family with Yuuri, what kind of fiancé am I? </em>
</p><p>I found an old small sketchbook that I knew was from elementary, I opened the containments and found myself remembering drawing every picture.</p><p>All the sudden my paper was wet from a drop out of nowhere, three more fell on the dry painting. My cheeks were burning, hurting, and I realized again, I was crying. And the tears wouldn't stop, I can hear Yuuri comforting me, but I just can't see through this black fog in my eyes.</p><p>So I cried out my eyes, finally, somehow letting my depression take over fully, not meaning to startle Yuuri, but I did, causing him to slightly cry too.</p><p>"Y-Yuuri I-I'm sorry... I lied to y-you!" I sobbed, Yuuri was shocked and didn't know what to do, "I lied!" I felt terrible.</p><p>"Viktor? It's fine" He pet through my hair, "You didn't lie about anything" He reassured.</p><p>"If I didn't lie, tell me what you're w-worrying about! What a-are you questioning for? Why do you w-worry about me leaving you a-all the time" <br/>I wiped my eyes, which didn't do much because they kept coming.</p><p>"Why did you want t-to quit s-skating!? Why are you so d-depressed w-when your l-life isn't that bad?" I asked, it felt selfish to question in such a way, but I did.</p><p>"Better yet, Why do you have cutting scars on your a-arms?! You're so loved Yuuri, I-I don't understand! What made you do these things when we were t-training?" I cried out.</p><p>"Why do we love e-each other?! Why do you obviously have things on your mind but d-don't say anything!" I yelled at him, he kept mute like he always does.</p><p>"Stop being a listener and talk for once!"<br/>I screamed, he started crying with me, We're not fighting, he's not talking.</p><p>"Why? Why don't y-you speak?" I whispered in agony.</p><p>"I'm s-scared..." He broke the silent sobbing.</p><p>"Why?" I asked moving his black hair out his face.</p><p>"Because you might leave me I-If I tell you what's w-wrong..." He said, my tears got worse.</p><p>"W-Why do you keep thinking that!? I swear sometimes you forget that I put that r-ring on your finger!" I yelled, he quivered away and sulked down.</p><p>"I feel l-like you want to leave me b-but you feel like you s-shouldn't because I love y-you!"</p><p>"And you want t-to go back to skating and l-leave me, I cut my arms through depression because it would help me through my obvious rejection from you, I feel like I'm w-worthless to o-our relationship!" He sniffed.</p><p>"Like you could easily find someone m-more attractive with a snap of your f-fingers, I feel like I'm just a bystander till you find someone worth w-wild" He finally spoke, my eyes watered out tears like a waterfall, I hugged him as tight as I could.</p><p>"I c-couldn't ever find a-anyone as special as y-you, Yuuri..." I said, kissing his head softly.</p><p>"H-how am I special? He asked, I pushed him away, holding his shoulders. I gazed into his teary eyes, my mouth quivered in sadness.</p><p>"Before I met you Y-Yuuri I lied to myself-" I chuckled sadly.</p><p>"I-I lied everyday that love didn't exist, and that's why my father l-loved another woman other than my mom, that's why I ignored my past girlfriends and pretended they didn't exist" I admitted.</p><p>"A-and when I broke up with them I didn't feel a-anything, but it caused m-me so much pain when you wanted to leave me i-in Barcelona, I c-couldn't handle the depression that was building up over the years, and it kinda exploded into t-tears" The words weren't coming out right, but I could tell Yuuri understood.</p><p>"You saved me Yuuri... You're my life and love, that's why I could n-never leave you no matter how hard I try" I hugged around him tightly, no sounds came from Yuuri at first.</p><p>I'm pretty sure he was shocked, next I knew he was in my shoulder sobbing, I ran my fingers through his soft black hair, and let out a soft sigh as I leaned my head on his.</p><p>"I-I'll love you forever Viktor...even when I d-die..." I heard him muffle through my shoulder. I smiled slightly and kissed his cheek.</p><p>"I'll love you forever and always, Yuuri..." I whispered in his ear, he held me tighter.</p><p>"You had depression?" He asked me, out of nowhere, getting off my shoulder, I nodded slightly.</p><p>"How? You're a 5 gold medal GPF skater?" He asked me with wide eyes:</p><p>"I hide mine differently, I hide it with a smile and medals, I was kind of jealous that you could just put your depression on your face whenever" I said hiding under my bangs.</p><p>"No wonder you could barely smile at the final free skate, But how did you find out about my scars? I did my best to hide them, I even put on long shirts during practices" He said looking away.</p><p>"I noticed them when we went to the onsen, you can't really hide your torso when you're naked, I also noticed the scars stopped when I became your boyfriend..." I said slightly smiling, Yuuri just nodded in agreement.</p><p>"Did you ever cut?" He asked me, I looked down and chuckled slightly.</p><p>"I did once when I was 16, but Yakov found out and basically yelled at me to stop, I was stupid let's just say"</p><p>"I've done it since I noticed in 7th grade that I was a little bit more chubbier than the others, I stopped for a little when I went into competitive skating, but continued when I got nervous for my first GPF, in the end you kinda kissed my scars away..." He smiled, I cried a little.</p><p>"I didn't know I was that special to you..." I saddened.</p><p>"You're my idol, of course you're special to me" He said, I crossed my brows in confusion.</p><p>"Stop using the term 'Idol' you beat my record if anything you're my equal Yuuri" I said, he adjusted his glasses.</p><p>"Yeah I know, but, sometimes it doesn't feel that way to me" He stated, "And since we're opening up, if you don't mind-"</p><p>"Can I ask a few questions about you"<br/>He murmured, I nodded and sat still.</p><p>"Ok, um... Are you even Gay?" He questioned, I burst into laughter.</p><p>"I-It's a serious question!" He whined, I kept laughing but stopped.</p><p>"Yeah, I've always had a liking to men more than women, I first noticed It in 5th grade when the boys my age would talk about girls, but I didn't feel like they did about them" I explained.</p><p>"My first crush actually was my best friend, Ivan, kind of embarrassing I didn't notice it back then"</p><p>"But, in 6th grade I made the decision to be Asexual, well, it didn't really exist then" I sighed.</p><p>"But, I made it clear no one would touch me and I wouldn't be heartbroken if they cheated on me" I explained, sitting fully against the chair.</p><p>"Well I really liked Yuuko when I was younger, but before I knew It she had triplets and married to Takeshi, I moved on from her when I found out she had her first boyfriend"</p><p>"I guess I stayed single the rest of the time, for me it doesn't matter if it's a boy or girl you like, it just matters if you love each other, so I kinda guess that makes me pan, or bi I'm not sure..." He said, I chuckled a little.</p><p>"So, next question?" I asked, he shuffled around a little.</p><p>"What do you? uh, actually like about me?" He quietly asked, I sighed and looked up.</p><p>"Your eyes, they change color, oh! and you have really soft hair, not to mention your whine is really cute" I blushed</p><p>"You act like the most conservative person and then turn competitive, your cheeks feel like mochi! Oh Yuuri, I could go on for days about what I like about you..." I said, putting my index finger on my chin. Yuuri blushed red, of course he was flustered.</p><p>"S-so, do you e-ever think about having kids?" He asked me, I thought for a moment, and smiled brightly.</p><p>"Yeah, I do, sometimes I think about having my own kids, and teaching them how to skate, getting medals, oh! And then eventually having grandkids! Be an old crippled grandpa!" I chuckled, Yuuri nodded.</p><p>"I guess I think a-about it more than I think I do." Yuuri said, I heard a knock at the door.</p><p>"Viky? Yuuri?" My mom said through the door, I kissed Yuuri's head and went to go answer it.</p><p>"Hi ma!" I opened the door, she was smiling brightly.</p><p>"Wanna go to Happylon?" My mom said walking in, I gleamed in excitement and jumped up and down and made puppy eyes to Yuuri.</p><p>"What's Happylon?" He asked, crossing his eyes in confusion.</p><p>"It's an amusement park... Viktor used to go there when he was little" My mom said.</p><p>"Pleeeeaaaaasee!" I whined, Yuuri sighed and nodded.</p><p>"Yaaaaay! Mom, but we've got to get dressed so goooooo!" I pushed her out</p><p>"Byeee Son in law..." She dragged out last minute, I slammed the door.</p><p>"Oh shit wait-" I said realizing something.</p><p>_</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Yuuri's P.O.V </em>
  </b>
</p><p>"Your clothes are in the guest room..."<br/>Viktor opened the door back up, I walked out, turned around and kissed his lips.</p><p>"Don't worry, you can peek on me while I'm changing" I made flirty eyes to him. I swore I heard a gulp, I just kept walking, and closed the door behind me.</p><p>I got dressed out my PJ's, and grabbed gel to slick back my hair. I stood and stared at my glasses next to my contacts.</p><p>I sighed and put on the glasses, grabbing my extra phone as I walked out, I went down the stairs and saw Mrs. Nikiforov sitting in the living room with a bucket of ice cream.</p><p>"Maybe I should just beacome wesbian..." She said handing the bucket over to the maid next to her with a spoon.</p><p>"Men are owtragous, I don't even know how you put up with that scary man for 40 years" The maid said taking a bite.</p><p>"Why are all the good men gay?!" Mrs. Nikiforov complained, I laughed as both shot back their heads.</p><p>"At least my son found a loyal man to marry... How did he fwind you anwaays?" She asked me, I laughed.</p><p>"I was a fan of your son, and I copied a skate performance that went viral. Next thing I knew Viktor was in my Onsen" I said, she nodded and finished a bite.</p><p>"How did you feel? That he traveled across the world for you?" She handed the bucket again.</p><p>"Scared and confused really, he kept asking about my past relationships and asking if I was single. In which I was the singlest thing ever, never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend" I said leaning over the couch, her mouth dropped.</p><p>"This is your first relationship!?" She gawked in surprise, I nodded.</p><p>"I definitely need to become lesbian!" She yelled, I heard a laugh behind me. I turned around to see Viktor, a smile spread across my lips.</p><p>"You wanna come Alicia? We're going to Happy long, I'll pay for you" She said.</p><p>"Oh really? Thanks! I'd love to come!" Alicia got up from the couch and ran to go get her purse, She came back as we went outside.</p><p>"Lock the door Vrmil!" Mrs. Nikiforov yelled to the butler, getting in the car. Alicia sat in the front, while me and Viktor sat in the back, I looked out the window as the car started.</p><p>Viktor grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers. I smiled looking into his blue eyes, sometimes, I fear my love for him, because loosing him would be too devastating to me.</p><p>"Awwwwwww! Look, you can tell they're in love just by how they look at each other!" Mrs. Nikiforov squealed, me and Viktor looked away from each other.</p><p>I looked outside to see not much snow, I guess spring was on the way since It was April. I still held Viktor's hand though, surprisingly Viktor is always warm, he looks like he would be freezing but he's not, crazy as it is.</p><p>The sun peeked in and out as the clouds passed, in a sense everything was working out, Viktor's mom excepted who he was, she loves the idea of us getting married, hell! Viktor said she wanted grandkids as soon as possible.</p><p>But there's something off, things are too good, you know that feeling you get when bad things are ought to happen? I feel that. The car stopped and I heard Mrs. Nikiforov click the gears on the steering wheel.</p><p>"Yuuri!! We're here!" Viktor jumped out the car, I chuckled and got out. Viktor already started running toward the building.</p><p>"Ready for babysitting?" Mrs. Nikiforov sarcastically said, I laughed and followed behind her.</p><p>"Is it an inside amusement park? It looks like it" I said walking with Alicia and her.</p><p>"Yeah, It is, It's mostly for kids though, don't tell Viky that though" She winked as her heels clacked against the blacktop.</p><p>"Isn't he still a kid?" I chuckled, Alicia and her laughed really loud.</p><p>"C'mon slow pokes you're taking all day!!" Viktor yelled from across the parking lot, we still walked our pace to go inside.</p><p>"Wow... It's huge-" I said walking in.</p><p>"That's what he said" Viktor sneered, I threw my bag at him.</p><p>"Ow!" He yelled, I laughed as he threw the bag back, Mrs. Nikiforov started waking to the front desk as I followed with Viktor.</p><p>"четверо взрослых пожалуйста"<br/>She asked the lady, I almost forgot she spoke Russian since she was so well spoken in English, which is probably why Viktor is great at it.</p><p>"Это будет 17000 рублей" The lady answered back.</p><p>"Ничего себе, это огромная разница в цене с момента, когда я приехал сюда в детстве" Viktor said behind me, I sighed. I didn't understand a word they were saying.</p><p>"Вот моя карточка Visa" Mrs. Nikiforov gave the card over to the lady.</p><p>"Вот ваши браслеты, прекрасно проводили время в Happylon" The lady gave back the card, with wristbands, She handed us all one strip to put on our arms.</p><p>"Thanks Ma!" Viktor yelled running right into the arcade.</p><p>"Viktor wait!" I yelled running after him, I felt bad leaving Alicia and Mrs. Nikiforov behind, but I had catch up to Viktor.</p><p>"Yuuuuuri! Come on!!" He yelled me over to the coin dispenser.</p><p>"Gimmie your hand" He said, I gave it over and he scanned my wristband, he typed in several digits and a crap load of coins came out.</p><p>"Holy-" I stopped myself as a little kid ran in front of us.</p><p>"Hello?" Viktor put the coins in a bag and kneeled down.</p><p>"Are you Viktor Nikiforov?" The little boy asked.</p><p>"Yeah bud, that's me, Oh! You speak English, I just noticed" He said shocked.</p><p>"Wow, and Yuuri Katsuki?" His eyes lit up, it kinda lit up my heart.</p><p>"Where's your parents little bud?" I asked kneeling next to Viktor.</p><p>"At a party right now, they said as long as I stay in the area I can play video games'' The little boy said aloud, rocking back in forth, he had brown hair and hazel eyes.</p><p>"You wanna hang with us?" Viktor smiled heartily.</p><p>"Really?!" The little boy exclaimed, I smiled over at Viktor.</p><p>"Yeah, definitely...we're kinda alone here, well we might run into my mom but that's about it" Viktor said, I nodded.</p><p>"Oh, you got coins and what's your name?" I asked the boy.</p><p>"I'm Steven, and yeah I got lots of coins!" He jumped, making all the coins jingle.</p><p>"Wow! So where you wanna go first Steven?" Viktor asked while looking around.</p><p>"The car race ones!" He pointed over to the attached plastic motorcycles.</p><p>"That was my favorite when I was younger!" Viktor and me started walking Steven to the monitors.</p><p>For some reason the way that Viktor cared for children was dear to me, no matter how bratty, shy, clumsy, or rude the children were, Viktor always had a soft spot for them.</p><p>All three of us played on the game together, Viktor and I let Steven win every time because It was so cute how he would react to winning. Me and Viktor went against each other and ended up at a draw, we were heading to the next game.</p><p>"Is this what it's like having dads?" Steven asked sweetly, I looked at Viktor with the biggest smile ever.</p><p>"I guess so kiddo? Pretty fun huh?" Viktor asked wiping away a fake tear.</p><p>"Yeah! I wish I had a dad, but he died along time ago, mommy said he died in Iraq" Steven said, me and Viktor looked at each other worried.</p><p>I generally felt bad for the little guy, though I know my family loved my great grandfather that served in WWII, but I didn't know him that well.</p><p>"Don't worry you'll be just fine, I basically grew up without a dad too" Viktor said, ruffling Stevens hair, I really had no idea of what Viktor had gone through, I thought my life was terrible, but Viktor suffered silently for years on end.</p><p>I also can't believe I fixed his broken heart, He loves me, I love him. Things work out that way, my fiance, my love, our love has already been showed to the world, on that thing we both take for granted sometimes, Ice.</p><p>I would have never ever found out about him, if it wasn't for Yuuko pointing out my talent, If I didn't copy his program where would I be? I'd be stuck marrying some girl my parents approved of, running the Onsen with kids already.</p><p>I sighed and smiled at how lucky I was not to have that stupid fate. Viktor was playing Pacman with Steven, it was so cute how Viktor lifted him to reach the tall controls.</p><p>"Steeeeeeeveen!" I heard someone yell, I turned around to see a blonde lady.</p><p>"Momma!" Steven ran over, me and Viktor chuckled, as the little guy waved us off, I sighed and looked over at Viktor who was smiling like an idiot.</p><p>"What?" I asked as he smiled larger.</p><p>"We were like a familyyyyy~" He said with sparkly eyes, I sighed and smiled a little.</p><p>"Well, now we have to find yours" I said, pulling him out the arcade, I dragged him to the food court where his mom and Alicia were sitting.</p><p>I grabbed two chairs and sat next to both of them, Viktor pouted and sat with me.</p><p>"Yuuuuriii~" He whined, pouting his lips even more, I shook my head.</p><p>"You need to eat Viktor- Or you'll never have enough energy to go anywhere"<br/>I said grabbing up a menu, Viktor got up reluctantly and grabbed a menu.</p><p>"So? How was the arcade boys?" Mrs. Nikiforov asked putting down her menu.</p><p>"It was great, we ran into a little kid named Steven and acted like a family!~" Viktor said as his eyes lit up, I smiled slightly.</p><p>But, I went back to looking at the menu, in which I couldn't read a word it said since it was in straight Russian. I poked at Viktor and made a little whine.</p><p>"Hmm?" He asked as he turned to me, I pointed at the menu, he looked at me confused.</p><p>"I don't understand what it says" I whispered in his ear, he gleamed and started to read off the menu.</p><p>We soon ordered and got some food, the food was great, considering It was apparently cheap to Mrs. Nikiforov.</p><p>But who knows what's really cheap to that woman? She owns a mansion for pete's sake! We all decided after eating to part ways, her and Alicia went off to relax in a spa nearby and rumored to be back at 5.</p><p>While me and Viktor basically walked around and got on a few rides here and there, depending if they weren't adult restricted.</p><p>It was when we got to the ball dive that Viktor went practically nuts, the last thing I knew was that he jumped in, I couldn't find him for a good 10-15 minutes in that thing.</p><p>I swore I searched everywhere. I heard children laughing really loud and followed the sound, I found Viktor that way, he was lifting the kids and letting them play fly.</p><p>I didn't let him see me cause he might stop, I couldn't help but finally giggle a little when the kids trampled him.</p><p>"Yuuri?" I heard him question, I dashed quickly but got stuck in the quicksand of plastic balls.</p><p>"кто юри?" The kids asked, I struggled to get out as fast as I could but I didn't escape in time, Viktor stood in the doorway as I ducked my head and buried myself in the plastic.</p><p>"я мог бы поклясться" Viktor whispered to himself in Russian, I sighed as I sworn he went back to into the other ball room with the kids.  Someone jumped in the same plastic I did.</p><p>"Gotcha! You should really keep you head all the way under when you try to hide! And plus black hair in Russia is like a rarity" He said hugging around me, I sighed as I crawled out of the tsunami of plastic balls. He kissed my cheek as the little girls squealed, and boys gawked.</p><p>"I was looking for you, you didn't come out for 30 minutes so I got worried" I said sitting on the doorway next to him.</p><p>__</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Viktor's P.O.V </em>
  </b>
</p><p>It was 4:30 and I really, really wanted to go on the ferris wheel, of course I was begging Yuuri to do everything, but at least he had fun as well.</p><p>He's really scared of rollercoasters, I got him to get on the only one with me. He said it was amazing, so I guess that's good.</p><p>We were getting on the ferris wheel, since it was an enclosed one, we got 6 times around and sometimes you would stop at the top.</p><p>Lots of happy memories have been flooding my mind, visiting this place again, I never came with my dad, only my mom, and unfortunately I had forgotten how much she meant to me. It's helped me get to know my fiancé better in a way, visiting Moscow.</p><p>The ride started to escalate and went around once. Yuuri looked out the large window as I stared at him, memorizing his soft blush. The ferris wheel stopped us halfway up.</p><p>Yuuri looked around and then went back to the window, the ferris wheel went another 3 times until it stopped us at the top. Yuuri looked over at me and smiled.</p><p>"Nice view huh?" He asked me, I nodded and grabbed his hand.</p><p>"Can I kiss you?" I asked, as his face became more red, he nodded hesitantly.</p><p>"B-but you d-didn't have to ask you could have j-just done it" He said, I cupped his face lightly and brought it toward me, I tenderly kissed his lips, most of the time we don't use tongue, but this was an exception.</p><p>His eyes fluttered cutely as I broke the kiss, I pecked the top of his head and smiled brightly.</p><p>"Thanks for today, Yuuri" The ferris started moving again, I didn't care who saw us, so I kissed him again, and down his neck slightly.</p><p>"V-Viktor-" I rested my chin on his shoulder, he started petting through my hair, and then we came to a stop, I got off the ferris wheel with Yuuri and started walking toward the exit with him.</p><p>I gripped his hand slightly and kissed him in the parking lot. We waited for my mom for five minutes until she showed up in her Benz. As we drove home I could feel my mother getting anxious.</p><p>Since Yuuri had no idea what was about to happen, he was calm. I did my best to keep a simple smile on my face but I couldn't I was so worried not only for my mother's life but Yuuri's as well.</p><p>We stopped the car in front of my house, I got out quickly making sure Yuuri didn't see any of my face.</p><p>"That was fast of Vikt-" He cut out as I slammed the front door behind me and took a deep breath, I smelt coffee, alcohol and cigars, it was like a trigger that my worst fear was home.</p><p>I stepped lightly hoping the loudness of the TV covered up the alarming sound of slamming a door. My gut turned as I saw him standing in my peripheral vision, I tried to dash upstairs when he caught me.</p><p>He slammed me against the wall and smirked, Yuuri didn't come in, and I hoped my mother didn't walk in either.</p><p>"You really did turn into the faggot sinner I thought you would" He shoved papers in my face of my posts, I kept a straight face, even though I was dying inside.</p><p>"You've got a lot of guts, knowing I'll kill you both" He whispered to me intently, I shoved him off.</p><p>"You won't touch him!" I yelled, Yuuri opened the door as I felt a punch across my face, I fell to the ground.</p><p>"RUN YUURI!" I yelled as my mother walked in, blood trickled from my mouth as the ironized taste touched my tongue. He started to walk toward Yuuri, I pulled him back and kicked him to the ground.</p><p>"You fucking piece of shit!" He yelled from the ground, getting up slowly. My mother dialed emergency services asYuuri came running toward me.</p><p>"V-Viktor-" He wiped away the blood from my chin, A fear came down my spine as Yuuri was lifted from the ground, His hands wrapped around his neck, I jumped.</p><p>"Rostislav!!!" My mother screamed, I picked up a flower pot and slammed it on his head, he still didn't get knocked out, I grabbed Yuuri and threw him out the house, to keep him safe.</p><p>"You cheating fucking abusive bitch!!!"<br/>My mother threw her heel at him, She tried to punch him but was too weak, he pulled her by her hair and threw her over.</p><p>I blanked out and started swinging, my mind grew black as my vision faded, I don't know how long I was out, until I heard screaming.</p><p>"Сэр, отступите от человека !!" The police pulled me off of him, I heard sirens as I went blank again, my heartbeat racing I fell to the ground, my head hurting intensely. My next light, all I could see is ambulances taking me away.</p><p>"Whe- is Yuur?" I faintly whispered, and blanked out again, the sound of nurses filled my mind as I was being raced through the hospital, I saw Yuuri's face.</p><p>"Viktor! I love you!!" I heard him yell far away, He slipped from my grasp.</p><p>"I lov- you too Yuur-" I whispered faintly as I blanked out once again, My mind became faint as my life flashed before my eyes, I swore I saw a light.</p><p>"ЧИСТО!!!" I heard as my body shook from electricity, I blanked out again, I could hear faint crying from what seemed to me my mother at times and Yuuri.</p><p>Was I dead? or in coma? I couldn't tell. I remember being in a state of black for what seemed like a year, I finally opened my eyes for what was an eternity.</p><p>My vision was bright but blurry until they adjusted, both Yuuri and Yurio were in the room, both asleep on chairs next to me. I looked up to see I was hooked to an IV. I brought up my hand slowly and attempted to shake Yuuri, It didn't work.</p><p>"Yuuri-" My voice cracked, as I could finally feel my limbs again, I sat up and bent over to the chair and kissed him gently on the lips, his eyes blinked open slowly, as they got wide, he kissed me back fully.</p><p>"Viktor" He caressed my cheek with the happiest look on his face, he started crying and hugged me hard.</p><p>"How long?" I asked, he hugged me tighter.</p><p>"3 weeks, y-you were o-out for t-three weeks" He cracked out of sadness, I realized my head was bandaged up, I sighed.</p><p>"What happened? I blanked out" I said, cupping his face.</p><p>"Your dad s-slammed your head a-against the marble, really hard but the d-doctors said that you were so blinded b-by rage that you wouldn't have felt t-the pain, you crashed on the ground and w-were unresponsive" He sobbed out.</p><p>"You also almost d-died they had to perform an electrical clear... You scared t-the shit outta me!"</p><p>"I'm sorry"</p><p>"It's okay- Your dad is in the h-hospital and will be going in jail for l-life anyways, for everything" He cried more, I wiped them away and kissed him.</p><p>"Are you ok?" I asked, He nodded and leaned into my hands.</p><p>"Yuuri, if you don't shut the fuck up from talking to Vitya in coma, I will kill you..." Yurio complained scrunching his eyes.</p><p>"Yurio, I'm awake" I said looking straight at him.</p><p>"Yeah real funny Yuuri! Now let me sleep..." He turned over his head, I leaned over and smacked him upside the head.</p><p>"OW!! YUURI I WILL FUCKI- Oh shit you're awake! You're really awake!" He jumped on the bed and hugged me.</p><p>"Stupid! You made me worry about you! I thought you died you balding bitch..." He hugged me tighter, I hugged back.</p><p>"I'm not dead am I?" I chuckled.</p><p>"If you keep joking like that I just might kill you fucker!" Yurio yelled from my shoulder, Yuuri giggled, We were finally.</p><p>
  <em>Safe</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 9, The Greif of Death</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b><em>Yurio</em></b><em>'</em><b><em>s</em></b> <b><em>P</em></b><em>.</em><b><em>O</em></b><em>.</em><b><em>V</em></b><b><em> (3 weeks earlier)</em></b></p><p>I thought at first my mind was fucking playing me when I turned on my phone, '<em>56 missed calls from Stupid Pig'. </em>I went into shock as I looked over at Beka still asleep, my Facebook was blown up along with every shitty social media account I owned.</p><p>I covered my mouth as I read the words of hundreds of people's posts on my timeline. A picture of his face plastered everywhere.</p><p>Tears fucking welled my eyes as the words, '<em>Viktor Nikiforov reported dead'</em> were posted by news stations everywhere, my fingers shook of anxiety and fear.</p><p>"Ah!!" I threw my phone and wailed, Beka waking up immediately to my loud crying. I ran, flailing and tripping fucking everywhere. I turned on the TV and went to a news station, It was fucking true.</p><p>I fell to my knees and started screaming. Beka came to my side slowly, his confusion was slowly ridden away by reading the words on the TV.</p><p>I wiped my eyes vigorously and stared at the story poll, I wailed louder, hearing my grandpa run out.</p><p>"He's dead!!? H-he- Viktor!!" I screamed in agony, My body was trembling and shaking as my cat Potya came to comfort me.</p><p>"Viktor, you dumbass!!" I yelled at the ground, I wailed more as Beka hugged around me.</p><p>"Yura, there's nothing we can do" He wiped my spilling tears.</p><p>"He's not dead! He can't be dead! H-He's supposed to get married to Y-Yuuri!!!" I yelled out, Beka pulled me into his shoulder.</p><p>"He's gone Yura...." He whispered in my ear, I started crying so terribly, to where I was hiccuping my breathing.</p><p>"He's not! HE'S NOT!!" I screamed in denial, my grandpa pulled Beka aside and hugged me tight.</p><p>"Yurachka, He's dead! Viktor Nikiforov is dead you hear me!!" He yelled at me, my eyes widened and spilled out more tears, I grabbed Potya and cried into her fur.</p><p>I cradled in fetal position and held the cat closer, lying on the ground as tears spilled from my face into the carpet.</p><p><em>He</em>'<em>s</em> <em>really</em> <em>dead</em>.</p><p>Beka pulled me up and wrapped his arms around me, I cried in his shoulder, leaving wet spots in his shirt. I heard my phone ring from the room, As I pushed Beka off.</p><p>"It's Katsuki...." I said still crying, I tried to get up and walk, but I hit a wall.</p><p>I started sniffing as I grabbed the phone from the ground and answered.</p><p>"Y-Yeah?" I said in agony.</p><p>"Yurio, listen to me now...." He said, I sniffled.</p><p>"I know he's dead o-ok, I'm sorry K-Katsuki, so, so sorry for you..." I cried even more.</p><p>"He's not dead, well technically he did die and was brought back to life, Yuri-" He said, my eyes crossed.</p><p>"YOU BETTER NOT BE FUCKING PLAYING ME PIG!!?" I yelled through the phone.</p><p>"I'm not, I'm sitting right next to him, the news stations right now are posting false crap, he is unconscious though, so I need you to head to the hospital downtown" He said, I dropped my phone and smiled, laughing slightly, honestly, this whole day feels like a fucking rollercoaster.</p><p>I grabbed my jacket and threw on my combat boots. I grabbed the phone back.</p><p>"I'm on my way Kat'suky" I said.</p><p>"Okay" He said, I hung up and went back to Beka and grandpa.</p><p>I had to gather my thoughts, calm down as I stayed in that hallway before facing both of them. It's frustrating, emotions are. But I collected myself, wiped my tears and headed in.</p><p>"Beka, I need you to quickly get dressed and head with me downtown as I give you directions" I said walking past him.</p><p>"Why?" He grabbed my arm, I smiled and pecked his lips.</p><p>"He's alive" I simply said as Beka turned red, I let go of his grasp and started to wait outside. I sighed hugely out of relief.</p><p>
  <em> I think I just had the worst scare in my life!</em>
</p><p>I looked back at my phone and posted '<em>He's not dead idiots</em>' and kept scrolling as my notifications went off like, crazy fucking cats after catnip.</p><p>The cold air was soon turning warm as the sun came up, I knew spring was here especially since It was the 12th of April.</p><p>My eyes stared around as the ice and snow melted to reveal grass, after being hidden for months on end.</p><p>Beka soon came out with the keys to my grandpa's car, I was in a hurry for the circumstances. As soon as I heard a click, I jumped in, the car started as I waved off my grandpa.</p><p>I pulled out my phone, and searched up the hospital. The automatic directions came up, and with that we were off. My nervousness worsened, with each passing minute, yelling turns, freaking out, tire screeches. I felt like my life was this stupid drive, I felt kinda bad putting Beka on the spot like that.</p><p>We pulled into the parking lot of a tan tall building. If I'm correct, this is the same hospital I was born in.</p><p>We got out and dashed past most of the news stations.</p><p>"Is it true Russian skater Viktor Nikiforov is dead? Your Facebook post-"<br/>A news lady said as I walked past them. I turned around, and grabbed a microphone.</p><p>"Viktor Nikiforov is a dumbass!!! And he's not fucking dead! God, holy shit, if you all need a story so badly-" I turned around and grabbed Beka by his jacket, I kissed him passionately in front of all the news stations.</p><p>"There's your fucking story, I'm gay!" I yelled, giving back the microphone, a silence filled the air as I grabbed Beka, and turned into the hospital. I dashed to the front desk.</p><p>"Viktor Nikiforov! I need his stupid room number!!" I yelled and slammed on the desk.</p><p>"I don't think you have permission sir..."<br/>The lady peeped, I reddened of anger.</p><p>"Ma'am we have permission from a relative..." Beka said next to me.</p><p>"Which relative?" She asked, looking from the computer.</p><p>"Valentina Vlad Nikiforov age 57 and her birthday is the damn 14th of February!!" I screamed.</p><p>"And a stupid pig by the name of Yuuri Katsuki, known as his fiancé! If you want us to call either of the-"</p><p>"Room C145..." She said, I dragged Beka to an elevator, I calmly pushed floor C.</p><p>"You didn't have to yell" Beka said, chuckling.</p><p>"Yes I did! She wasn't gonna let us in because she thought we were news stations, I had to fix that" I said.</p><p>"Just like you fixed the news stations Yura?" He asked, I giggled.</p><p>"Da, like the news stations" I said entwining my fingers with his.</p><p>"You're gonna hear that story on your feed for the next 3 months by the way..." He smiled, the elevator opened as I started searching again, the floor was filled with critical patients, my face was slightly sweating.</p><p>I saw balloons out one of the doors, bright and colorful, I had a gut feeling it was room 145. I started walking faster, I stopped in my tracks as I heard the sound of sniffling from a certain pig, the room read C145 as I opened it.</p><p>My mouth dropped as I saw Viktor bandaged and bruised up and down his arms. My tears fell again, as if I thought they were over. I didn't even notice Yuuri hugging me through my outright shock, wrapping around him tightly.</p><p>"What d-did they say?" I sniffled through, I had been in this kind of situation before.</p><p>"Well the doctors said that there's a high chance he'll wake up, but still a chance he'll d-die, due to injuries" He cracked, I was breathless.</p><p>"They also said due to the injuries to his head there's a good chance his memory will go years b-back" He said, I hugged him tighter.</p><p>"He might not remember either of u-us?" I cried, Yuuri just nodded.</p><p>"I'm sorry to hear about everything" Beka sighed, Yuuri shot up and looked straight at him.</p><p>"Otabek Altin?" Yuuri smirked through immense tears, I nodded. "So, that's the one you said you liked at the Banquet..." He said, I blushed and kicked him.</p><p>"H-he's my boyfriend s-so...of course I like him" I yelled, Yuuri chuckled, even though this was all a pile of emotions, we could still at least joke around.</p><p>"If Viktor was awake he'd have to pay me ¥2500 on that bet I put down, he'd be like <em>You were right</em>" Yuuri chuckled sitting down, Me and Beka pulled over two chairs.</p><p>Yuuri, out of any of us, loved that man more than anything, he'd probably die for him to live. I noticed a wound on Yuuri's arm after the thought, and grabbed it immediately.</p><p>"What the fuck Yuuri?" I asked looking at the clear fresh wound on his wrist, he just pulled it back and hid it under his sleeve.</p><p>"It's nothing..." He said adjusting those stupid reflective glasses of his, I crossed my brows.</p><p>"Nothing my ass! That's a fucking suicide attempt! A diagonal fucking wound on your wrist! Do you realize fucking arteries are under that!!?" I yelled, grabbing his wrist again.</p><p>"That was the point..." He looked away, my eyes widened.</p><p>"You tried to kill yourself!? On purpose!? I know Viktor was fucking dying, but he'd want you to live you life!" I yelled, he started tearing up.</p><p>"Katsuki! Do you know how many people would've cried their fucking eyes out for you!? I would've!" I admitted.</p><p>"Viktor after waking up would've! You can't just kill yourself, and expect no one to care! You, Viktor, Beka, Yakov, and my Grandpa are the only family I have left! All the others died!" I yelled, Yuuri started crying.</p><p>"I-I tried, I know he would've wanted me t-to live b-but I j-just couldn't stand a l-life without him! Valentina stopped m-me, after she found out he wasn't dead" He said, tears rolling down his face like a damn waterfall. I pulled him into a tight hug, sighing.</p><p>"You can't die without my permission or the old man's" I clearly said, feeling wet spots form on my jacket from his immense fucking crying.</p><p><em>Viktor</em> <em>you</em>'<em>re</em> <em>a</em> <em>fucking</em> <em>huge</em> <em>dumbass</em>.</p><p>I pet Yuuri's back softy. The crying continued for 15 minutes to where I was playing fucking flappy bird on his back.</p><p>The sound of dinging continued, until I heard a knock on the door, I turned to see a man in a lab coat. The tall man held a clipboard, which we all knew what it was for.</p><p>"Hi doc...." I said, looking from my phone.</p><p>"Yuri, Plisetsky I'm presuming...." He asked me.</p><p>"Da!" I said, hugging around Yuuri.</p><p>"Well, we looked over the brain scans again, if he heals fast he'll be out of here in a month, this means that all chances of death are subsided..." He said shifting his glasses, Yuuri looked up from my shoulder.</p><p>"H-He's not gonna die?" He asked, looking up.</p><p>"Net, not anymore..."<br/>I said cupping Yuuri's squishy face.</p><p>"So you don't have to fucking cry anymore Pig!" I said, stretching his cheeks.</p><p>"Fucking mochi..." I said letting go, the doctor walked out and said whatever fucking monotone goodbye he could think of at the fucking moment.</p><p>
  <em>Honestly, what the fuck?</em>
</p><p>_</p><p><em><b>Valentina</b></em><em>'</em><em><b>s</b></em> <em><b>P</b></em><em>.</em><em><b>O</b></em><em>.</em><em><b>V</b></em></p><p>My eyes stared of shock the past 15 hours of my life, though I remember this hospital like yesterday.</p><p>My beautiful baby boy, was born on a cold December night, you wouldn't believe me if I told you that Christmas was strictly banned in Russia when he was born.</p><p>I didn't pay much attention to History lessons so I don't know why it was banned. But, that didn't stop us from celebrating it, I guess you could call us '<em>savage</em>'.</p><p>All I remember was his ocean eyes that lit up my world, they say when you become a mother a whole new love is born, I can vouch for that statement.</p><p>As an attorney in law firm, I never thought much about love, not even for my own setup '<em>husband</em>' parents insisted on eloping, since he had a wealthy family.</p><p>Of course, his parents had no money at all, and left us in dept. I had to crawl us outta that one, he never showed any signs of being an alcoholic or abusive. Till, my silver haired, baby boy, Viktor was born. It started when I noticed the Homophobia, and the way Viktor was growing, he drank more, avoided the house more, and the worst mistake I EVER made was blaming it all on my own son.</p><p>Putting that man before my child was the worst thing I'd ever done. The day Viktor left, my heart was broken, I not only lost my family, but my own flesh and blood! I even had the nerve to call him 'devil', my own son.</p><p>The true devil was his father, more like a cheated sperm donor if you ask me! I'm lucky Viktor never grew up to be like him.</p><p>My worst fear struck yesterday, he wasn't moving on the ground as soon as the police pulled him off of Rostislav. Yuuri already was panicking, and crying his eyes out.</p><p>My hair was messed from it's bun and I was more in shock than anything. The sounds of sirens everywhere, blocked by the sound of piercing static in my head.</p><p>Yuuri's screams filled my head, as they took my baby boy away. Driving was even worse as I was blanking out with Yuuri in the passenger seat.</p><p>When we got to the hospital, it just became worse.</p><p>"Mrs. Nikiforov and Katsuki I'm afraid that our patient, Viktor is reported dead we might be able to perform an electrical cle-" My heart ached, my eyes swelled, tears filled my eyes like sparkling diamonds ready to burst.</p><p>And just like that I woke up and screamed, crying my eyes to where I wasn't able to cry anymore. Without a second guess, Yuuri was in the bathroom.</p><p>I gave permission for the operation to proceed, running straight to the men's side. I lodged open the door.</p><p>"Yuuri!!" I screamed seeing the blood trickle from his arm.</p><p>I grabbed the pocket knife and threw it across the room.</p><p>"Don't you ever do that! You hear me!!?" I yelled, putting pressure on the wound, he tried to pull away and grab the knife again.</p><p>"Yuuri, sweetie, Viktor is going to be alright..." I cupped his face with one of my hands.</p><p>"How do you k-know t-that" He asked, crying even more. I sighed, and looked back up.</p><p>"Viktor is strong, he'll make it through!" I promised, looking into his eyes. "Gosh, you do really love him, without even a second guess you ran here to try and die with him" I shook my head in shame.</p><p>"But, you can't do that! You know that people love you! And I know my baby boy would want you to live the rest of your life, if he's anything l-like m-me..." I said as tears ran down my face again, hitting my knees. Yuuri wiped my tears away.</p><p>"He does cry like you, believe it or n-not" He smiled a little, I smiled back. My worst fear is that he wouldn't make it and die, I would be heartbroken.</p><p>I pulled Yuuri out of the bathroom, we waited for the news. It seemed like hours in those 20 minutes, Yuuri so exhausted and broken. I've never met somebody who cared about their lover so much that they'd self sacrifice themselves. I remember the tics of that annoying clock on the wall, begging for a doctor to arrive. </p><p>
  <em>It seemed like they never would in that moment.</em>
</p><p>In the present, I had left Yuuri with Viktor all alone, but, he said that he'd be fine since Yurio was on his way.</p><p>I traveled to floor E up the elevator, and with slight anger I stepped down to room 321. I pulled the curtains vigorously and pulled up a chair next to the man that I'd hate forever, unlike my son this man survived with slight injuries.</p><p>"Are you happy?" I finally spoke, breaking the angered silence that filled the room.</p><p>"Our son almost died because of you..." I kept the pierced silence to rest.</p><p>"I hate you, I hope you know that, you've hurt me and this family long enough" I put my wedding band in his hand.</p><p>"You can keep all the lies you claimed with that ring, along with all the abuse you put me, our son, and his fiancé through, I'll let you also know that I'm taking the house since you decided to become not only a murderer, but a damn cheater too!" I yelled, no answer.</p><p>"What do you have to say for yourself Rostislav? What made you change from the loving fatherly man I once fell in love with? because I don't know you anymore!" I screamed.</p><p>"You loved Viktor with all your heart, what changed that?" I asked, looking in his green eyes with anger.</p><p>"I don't know" He finally spoke, I pinched my temples.</p><p>"I'll never speak to you after this, so you might as well spill-" I said, he sat up and caressed my cheek.</p><p>"I loved you Valentina, with all my heart, but I got hurt by all the pressure of a son and a stable home, so I ran, through alcohol, abusing, and women. I'm sorry, and I know you'll never forgive me, and I wouldn't either..." He said, I smacked away his hand and crossed my brows.</p><p>"You're damn right I'll never forgive you, that's why you're going to jail! And why I'm leaving you forever, I thought my life was perfect, and that a growing family would solve my problems..." I trailed off.</p><p>"Looks like I was wrong! The only thing that ever came out of you, that was worth my while was Viktor! Other than that you're a piece of shit to me..." I spat, getting my purse and leaving, he grabbed me by the arm.</p><p>I snatched it away.</p><p>"I love you, Valentina Vlad..." He said, I slapped him.</p><p>"And I hate you! Rostislav Nikiforov!! I hope you burn in hell like the demon you are!!" I snapped walking straight out of the horrid room. I angrily walked back to the elevator, and pushed C.<br/>_</p><p>
  <em> <b>-3 weeks later- </b> </em>
</p><p>My phone rang vigorously, as I picked it up, near to midnight.</p><p>"Hello?" I said with a potato chip in my mouth.</p><p>"Guess what?" I heard a cracked Russian accent, I dropped the chip bag and immediately grabbed my purse.</p><p>"Viktor!!!?" I screamed in delight through the phone, grabbing the door open and running to the car.</p><p>"Hey Ma..." He said, tears streamed down my face as I sat in the car.</p><p>"You're awake! I'm on my way ok!" I said as he chuckled, starting the car while connecting the phone to my stereo system.</p><p>"I hope I didn't worry you too much" He said, I sighed and drove out the driveway.</p><p>"You worried the whole world Viktor, including your husband! Oh! Wait, your fiancé my bad..." I said going through the traffic, chuckling.</p><p>"Thank you for taking care of Yuuri while I was in coma" He said, I smiled.</p><p>"You're welcome, he was really worried out of his mind, it took an arm and leg to get him detached from the hospital and eat" I said.</p><p>"Really huh?" He asked.</p><p>"Yeah, he wouldn't move from your side, wanted to be there when you woke up, looks like he was" I said turning into the hospital parking lot.</p><p>"Hmm, he seems to be calm now" He said as I pulled into a spot.</p><p>"Hey, Viktor I'm in the parking lot right now, I'll see you in 5 minutes, so bye" I locked the car.</p><p>"Dasvidanya..." He said, I ended the call and walked as fast as my heels could take me.</p><p>The door to the elevator opened as I pressed C. I ran to the door and smiled the biggest smile, he smiled slightly back, as Yuuri and Yurio looked over at me.</p><p>"Viktor..." I walked over and hugged him tightly, tearing up. "My baby" I cried tears of joy, caressing his cheek.</p><p>"Mom..." He faintly whispered in my ear as I hugged him again. "Ma, my ribs..." He hitched, I pushed off immediately.</p><p>"Sorry my bad!" I scratched the back of my head. "It's just, we all missed you..." I quietly said, wiping my own tears away as I smiled brightly.</p><p>"You're a dumbass! I thought you really died! You gave me a fucking scare" </p><p>"Out of any of us really, who was the most hurt was Katsuki..." I looked over at Yuuri holding Viktor's hand.</p><p>"Yuuri? Are you okay?" Viktor cracked, Yuuri nodded.</p><p>"I'm fine, but mostly relieved" Yuuri said, as he kissed Viktor's hand.</p><p>"Fine my ass!" Yurio spat, I nudged him and crossed my brows with a simple '<em>Ahem</em>'.</p><p>"What does he mean by that?" Viktor turned to me, Yuuri looked away in guilt.</p><p>"It's nothing" I sighed and looked away out to the full moon. But to my surprise neither me or Yurio said anything, the person to open their mouth<br/>was-</p><p>"I-I'm sorry Viktor, I-I tried to stay calm, I r-really tried" He broke the silence as me and Yurio's mouths dropped as he pulled up his sleeve.</p><p>Viktor's eyes crossed with anger and surprise, he grabbed his arm and kissed his cheek.</p><p>"If I'm ever dying again or am dead, you keep living your life no matter what! You hear me!" He yelled, me and Yurio just looked down in guilt.</p><p>"Your life is too precious to lose..." He whispered, Yuuri just started crying.</p><p>"S-stop acting like your life doesn't m-matter too! My life means nothing w-without you Viktor! So what would be the p-point?!" Yuuri yelled out, my eyes widened.</p><p>"The point is that you should've lived your life without me! And strived off the fact that I love you!" Viktor yelled back.</p><p>"God, you're already fighting like a fucking old married couple" Yurio scoffed out, "When are you guys gonna make all the Fangirls happy and get married!" He spat.</p><p>"I'm getting tired of waiting for the bullshit fiancé thing to end" He sat back in his chair, and sighed.</p><p>"And, what do you know about marriage and love?" Viktor sarcastically snapped back.</p><p>"The fact that, if you love someone to death you should just get over with it!" He argued, "The fact that you're willing to die for each other makes it even more obvious, you should fucking marry the bitch or in this case, <em>pig</em>" Yurio said, I laughed a little.</p><p>"When did you grow up so fast?" </p><p>"You owe me ¥2500 by the way, Viktor..."<br/>Yuuri chuckled, Viktor's mouth dropped.</p><p>"No?!" He gawked, Yurio sat up confused. Yuuri just nodded, "Him and Otabek!?" He pointed at Yurio.</p><p>"Yeah and so!?" Yurio yelled, and scrolled his phone.</p><p>"I told you I called it" </p><p>"I'm sooo happy!" Viktor gleamed, and rocked back and forth from excitement, "Ow!" He grabbed his side.</p><p>"Be careful you're still healing, though it isn't broken anymore..." I said, Viktor nodded and went back to being excited without the rocking.</p><p>I was just lucky to have my family back to what it was-</p><p>
  <em>Even in small forms.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 10, Healing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> <b>Viktor's P.O.V</b> </em>
</p><p>They said I'd be out in a week, and in a week I mean, more of an eternity. Even after that, I can't skate for another 2 weeks for my head to heal.</p><p>My arm also has to regain strength due to the pressure; or whatever I put on it while I was beating the crap out of my father.</p><p>This was kinda backing me and Yuuri's schedule for pair skating, due to the fact that we start '<em>really</em>' training in mid April.</p><p>
  <em>It's April 11th. </em>
</p><p>Yuuri most of the time has spent most of his free time by my side. I have to practically beg him to do basic things for himself.</p><p>Yurio however, checks in now and again with Otabek, and his grandpa, already is training in St. Petersburg for the GPF.</p><p>Yuuri's parents were really worried from what I heard on the phone talking to them. Yuuri's mom appearently sent prayers.</p><p>With all of that, my mom was dealing with court already; getting the house. She told me that my dad had a stupid excuse for the abuse when she finally got to confront him. Not that I care what excuse he had in the first place.</p><p>I was in a shitload of pain, due to my head healing; it caused major migraines. It was wednesday, which meant I had 3 more days to go before leaving this stupid bedroom, and hospital all together. As soon as I do, me and Yuuri have to fly back to Hatsetsu and pack for St. Petersburg to train.</p><p>I hate taking MRI's, they make me feel like an alien or something. Sitting there, while radioactive waves scan my brain, it's sucks, being there for 30-60 minutes.</p><p>They put headphones on you as a way to cover the sound, which is a load of crap, even with the damn uncomfortable foam sitting on your ears.</p><p>And then the damn doctors decide to take an x-ray on you right after; I guess I just hate hospitals in general.</p><p>Don't get me wrong, I'm not afraid of hospitals, it's just when I was little hospitals were basically like my second home.</p><p>MRA, X-ray, MRI, PT is what they like to call it for short, it's actually psychological testing. I know all these terms, because I was put through them at least once a week when I was younger.</p><p>'<em>Please extend your arm so we can inject this ____ serum</em>' God I hate that. When I decided to leave my parents for Yakov, my father was still trying to find a cure; my way of dressing, my hair, and the black things I wore.</p><p>Only difference now, is the fact that the love of my life is right beside me every step of the way. Just in case you were wondering, I do take MRI's every single day, and thank God I'm over with it today.</p><p>I try to walk, in fact I want to get into walking as soon as possible. I usually get out of my bed, and try to stand, when the doctors aren't around, and Yuuri's not around.</p><p>In which neither are, which is why am holding onto my IV pole and standing. I feel weak, which sucks really badly, i'm used to being in charge and taking it a little easy.</p><p>This crap hurts my ribs, even though they're completely intact. I took a few steps around, which worked until Yuuri pulled the curtains, I sat as fast as I could on the bed.</p><p>Yuuri stood there astonished as If I cured cancer or something.</p><p>"Yuuri? You ok?" I acted as if everything was fine, he looked at me and crossed his brows.</p><p>"Viktor! Don't do that again!" He screamed, I jumped at the sudden loudness from his usual quiet self.</p><p>"Sorry, I just th-" I looked down.</p><p>"Thought what?! That you'll walk out of here and be fine!!?" He yelled, I looked up shocked.</p><p>"Yes-" I said quietly.</p><p>"Well that's not the case Viktor!" He snapped, I know why he was so mad. I stood up again and blinked blankly.</p><p>"Viktor!!" He yelled, I grabbed the portable IV and walked over.</p><p>"What?" I teased, holding onto the pole tightly.</p><p>"Get on the bed!" He yelled, I shook my head.</p><p>"What? you want this pole to yourself Yuuuuuri~" I lidded my eyes.</p><p>"Get on the bed! I'm not kidding!" He yelled, pulling my IV with me to the side. He lightly pushed me on the bed, and sighed.</p><p>"Kinky..." I said, Yuuri got up and pulled the cover over me.</p><p>"Nothing Kinky about it, I care for your safety Viktor! Every second of it!" He scolded me in the chair next to my bed. I rolled my eyes and turned away from him. Pouting, I didn't look over at him at all.</p><p>"I'm sorry...." I whispered, and pulled the sheets to my face, I didn't dare look back.</p><p>The only time my fiancé is ever scary is when he's angry, it's kinda cute and terrifying at the same time.</p><p>He turned on the TV and huffed, my head started to hurt again. He brought out his laptop, and HDMI cord for the TV, making the screen of the computer come up.</p><p>I don't really care what he puts on. He started mumbling behind me, probably about what's happening with me or the things I said and did.</p><p>I heard the TV go off with the Disney opening sound. I sat up and looked at the screen, not turning to him.</p><p>"What movie?" I sighed.</p><p>"Hercules!" He snapped, I kinda jumped.</p><p>"Oh, that's one of my favorites" I peeped, and finally looked over at Yuuri who had this cute scrunched face, and pouty lips. I smiled, knowing what I could do to get him off guard.</p><p>"Aishiteru, Yuuuuuri~" I smiled brightly, he nearly jumped, flustering everywhere.</p><p>"Don't do that!! Didn't I tell you that's not used!" He squeaked, I laughed.</p><p>"You did, but I did it anyways" I chuckled, he adjusted his glasses and pouted.</p><p>"You dick..." He mumbled, I laughed hysterically. "Don't you dare!" He looked me dead in the eye.</p><p>"Pffft! I do have one" I laughed loudly, wiping tears away.</p><p>"Oh my god-" He pinched his temples, I grabbed his jacket, and pulled him over.</p><p>"What?!" He snapped, still angry.</p><p>"I love you, and I'm sorry..." I pouted, looking down.</p><p>"Are you really?" He raised a brow.</p><p>"Yes, I'm sorry, please don't be mad at me anymoreee~" I whined, He sighed loudly.</p><p>"Fine, but stop being a tease!" He snapped, I laughed.</p><p>"I'll try! But no promises!" I giggled, he rolled his eyes slightly.</p><p>"And don't you like it when I tease?" I caressed under his chin, lifting It slightly.</p><p>"N-No!" He squeaked flustering, I smiled as he parted his lips slightly, closing his eyes.</p><p>"Your actions say otherwise-" I smiled into his lips, kissing him softly.</p><p>"V-Viktor..." He heavily breathed away from the kiss.</p><p>"Da?" I questioned before kissing him again.</p><p>"Ew! Gross!" I heard the curtains pull away as Yurio stepped in with Otabek. "Do you two always kiss everywhere!?" He snapped, sitting down next to Otabek in a chair.</p><p>"What the hell cheesy shit are you watching!?" He looked up.</p><p>"Hercules!" I sat straight again.</p><p>"Are you a damsel in distress? I am a damsel in distress, I can handle this, have a nice day!" The TV blared, Yurio glared at the TV.</p><p>"You know now that I think about it Yurio is like Meg..." Yuuri said, Yurio snapped his head over.</p><p>"Shut the fuck up pig!" Yurio turned to the TV.</p><p>"The name's Yuuri but my friends call me Yurio, that's if I had any" I mocked the TV, Yurio threw his phone at me. I chuckled loudly.</p><p>"Oh my god!" I gawked, Yurio turned to me.</p><p>"Shit, No!!! receding hairline!" He yelled at me.</p><p>"Hercules is Otab-" Yurio covered my mouth.</p><p>"Shut the fuck up too Silver haired old man!" He yelled, getting off of me.</p><p>"OtabekIsHercules" I said quickly, Yurio growled.</p><p>"Kinda does work" Otabek said, Yurio crossed his arms and watched.</p><p>This is what we usually do everyday, watch movie after movie, which I'm fine with, it's just this crap sucks.</p><p><em>I want to go home-</em><br/>_</p><p>
  <em> <b>Yuuri's P.O.V. </b> </em>
  <br/>
  <b> <em>3 weeks later. </em> </b>
</p><p>Viktor can finally walk, it's a real relief that he didn't lose his memory or worse. He's very happy that we're packing for Hatsetsu.</p><p>His mom won the lawsuit of the house, due to Viktor's father being in jail for 25 years. It was really scary watching Viktor turn into what he did.</p><p>The fact that he was so enraged that he couldn't even feel pain; of course he was that way because of his mother and me though, I'd do the same for Viktor.</p><p>My question is what really went down between his father and him, when Viktor was younger? What if I never answered the phone? And just left it to Viktor's business, then this wouldn't have ever happened in the first place.</p><p>
  <em>This is all my fault. </em>
</p><p>Viktor even said it was my idea to come here, and in the end, it got him almost killed.</p><p>I traced over the white bed frame, looking down at the bed, covered in white sheets.</p><p>"You ready to go?" A familiar voice asked, I grabbed my roller suitcase.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm ready" I said, smiling gently.</p><p>"Okay, let's go downstairs" He said turning away and walking down. I followed behind, carefully pulling down my suitcase. Mrs. Nikiforov was distracted by adjusting her bun.</p><p>"Already?" She shot up, Viktor nodded as she opened the door for the car. We put our suitcases in the trunk, before going and sitting in the leather seats. Buckling, I looked out to the grassy yard filled with flowers.</p><p>
  <em>I wonder if the Sakura petals have started falling.</em>
</p><p>The Benz hummed from the engine. We pulled out the large half circled driveway, making our way to the airport while looking at scenery.</p><p>Mrs. Nikiforov parked in the terminal pick up for the airport. We got all out and grabbed our suitcases.</p><p>"I hate Aeroflot..." Viktor sighed, as his suitcase wheels clacked against the concrete.</p><p>"We're not taking Aeroflot, we're on Japan airlines silly" I said smiling slightly.</p><p>"We still have to through the luggage check of Aeroflot" He blankly blinked, going through the sliding door. I followed as we made our way to the checkout, getting our tickets and going through security for luggage.</p><p>"You know I'm starting to hate America, if they had just watched their crap in the first place, we wouldn't have to go through hell to get on a damn plane" Viktor complained, I chuckled.</p><p>"Well they couldn't help it, It's not like they intended for people to hijack a plane" I sighed, walking to the boarding area. The plane didn't board at first, so we sat in the uncomfortable white plastic seats.</p><p>When we saw the light blink '<em>boarding Nagasaki</em>' we got up. Viktor hugged around Mrs. Nikiforov.</p><p>"L-Love you mom..." He sniffled, hugging her tight.</p><p>"You do g-great out there Viky, I'll be cheering g-gold for you both" She pet his head while crying.</p><p>"Dasvidanya, Ma" He kissed her cheek, she walked over to me, and hugged me also.</p><p>"You take care of my b-baby boy ok? Make sure he d-doesn't get into too much trouble" She cried out.</p><p>"I promise I'll take care of him, Mrs. Nikiforov" I said, hugging back before she let go.</p><p>"Dasvidanya to you both!" She yelled out as we got on the boarding bridge. Viktor wiped away his tears, taking the seat next to the window.</p><p>I sat next to him and held his hand, smiling. "You can always go see her when we move to St. Petersburg" I said softly, he cracked a smile, realizing I was right.</p><p>"Yea, I'm gonna miss her, I guess I'd always knew I'd miss my mom all those years" He sighed, I got really curious.</p><p>"H-Hey Viktor" I blurted out.</p><p>"Hmm?" He hummed in response as the plane started to take off.</p><p>"Since we're on the plane f-for awhile can I ask you stuff?" I asked silently.</p><p>"Of course, ask away Yuuri" He replied, I entwined my fingers with his.</p><p>"So, um what kind of things did your father do to your mom and you?" I hitched through, he looked down.</p><p>"There were a lot of things he did- " Viktor looked away, Viktor was better at hiding his feelings rather than stating them. He'd rather put it bluntly, rather than show his emotions.</p><p>
  <em>And I hated that</em>
</p><p>"But one of the most prominent ones, was hitting me over the head, either with his bare hands or an alcohol bottle" He continued nonchalantly.</p><p>"I guess I didn't really understand as a kid. I also didn't understand that Russia was an extremely homophobic country, in fact, it was illegal" He looked at the ground, hiding behind his bangs.</p><p>"He used to hit my mom a lot, causing her a lot of bruises that she covered up with makeup-" He cracked slightly, not exactly breaking, but he was almost there. He bit his lip to keep more tears back.</p><p>"She used to always try to find a way to justify his actions, whether blaming it on herself, or saying it was anger, it was conditioning" He sighed.</p><p>"She knew it was a toxic relationship but somehow she believed that the man he used to be was still in there somewhere" He answered.</p><p>"So, what did you do?" I asked.</p><p>"I ran away, obviously" He turned away.</p><p>"Viktor, please look at me?" I pulled his shoulder gently.</p><p>"I don't want to" His voice cracked.</p><p>"Please, I'm your fiancé" I pleaded, he turned lightly, still hiding his face with his bangs.</p><p>"I-"</p><p>"It's okay" I pushed his bangs behind his ear, pecking the tears away. "Cry all you want"</p><p>"I don't know-" He paused.</p><p>"I don't know when I realized, when I started noticing-" He stopped, more tears flowing.</p><p>"Maybe I was 20, 19, somewhere in there, but I was skating out of faked emotions" He breathed to calm himself.</p><p>"Do you remember when I said '<em>Eros is an emotion and you should just express it'</em> Or something like that" He mentioned.</p><p>"Yeah, you told me and Yurio that when we asked you what your Agape and Eros were" I said, looking back at the conversation.</p><p>"Well, I guess I could become a boss ass actor then-" He joked.</p><p>"What?" I asked.</p><p>"I didn't feel a single thing skating any routine. And after awhile-" He sniffed, "It just got painful to skate at all" He answered, "Until I met <em>you</em>" He finished, I flustered slightly at the thought.</p><p>"I'm glad I changed that" I cupped his face, wiping all his tears.</p><p>"I'm glad too" He giggled gently, Viktor also cheered himself up often, maybe that was the only way he could deal with it as an idol.</p><p>
  <em>Was it okay to ask another question?</em>
</p><p>"Hey, another question, if you don't mind-" I paused for his answer.</p><p>"You can ask me anything Yuuri, I'm just, a little shook up" He exhaled out, as if letting his emotions out.</p><p>I hesitated "Are you, um a, uh- you know-"</p><p>"Spit it out" He laughed.</p><p>"A virgin" I peeped out as my face heated.</p><p>"Well, no, I mean, yes-" He said, I cocked my head in confusion.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Well, when I was 15, I had a really pushy boyfriend, and along with smoking, I drank-" He explained, it was almost as if he didn't want to answer.</p><p>"I don't know what I was doing when I was younger, I was stupid and wanted to be rebellious" He looked out, "Nothing more to it"</p><p>"It feels like you're leaving something out" My eyes wavered in worry.</p><p>"Yuuri, please, this question, can we just drop it?" He snapped.</p><p>"I won't ask then, if that's what you want" I mentioned.</p><p>"Thank you" He kissed my cheek, we looked off for a moment in our own world before I broke the awkward silence again.</p><p>"I'm sorry I got you in all this trouble..." I looked away from his gaze.</p><p>"Yuuri, I made the choices I did, not because of you honey" He cupped my cheeks, and pecked both.</p><p>"Honwey?" I said through my squished cheeks.</p><p>"Sorry, I said honey, in the spur of the moment thing" He let go of my cheeks, I flailed a lot, turning away.</p><p>"I l-liked it-" I said, hiding under my coat.</p><p>"Really?" He said ecstatically.</p><p>"Yeah, really" I blushed dark red, he cupped my face and smiled.</p><p>"Honey, I love you" He nuzzled my nose, I flustered deeply, heat rising to my cheeks.</p><p>"I-I love y-you too" I shakily said.</p><p>"Sooo cute!" He squealed, and pinched my cheeks; bringing out his phone to take a picture.</p><p>"Nonononono! Give it!" I reached for the phone.</p><p>"My fiancé is so cute! What would I do without him!" He said aloud, texting the words.</p><p>"Viktooor!" I whined.</p><p>"Posted!" He said in delight. I pouted and crossed my arms.</p><p>"You still loveee me!" He slurred out.</p><p>_</p><p>
  <em> <b>Viktor's P.O.V </b> </em>
  <br/>
  <em> <b>-5 hours later-</b> </em>
</p><p>Yuuri slept silently next to me, I couldn't help but take a few pics-</p><p>
  <em>He's so cute. </em>
</p><p>I also kept running my fingers through his black soft hair, while he slept on my lap. His face is so pretty, seriously, he's got these soft cheeks that are always lightly tinted pink. Oh, and my hands fit perfectly on those cheeks, they honestly feel like mochi.</p><p>I always keep catching myself falling asleep to his face; his sleepiness, makes me very sleepy.</p><p>I mean which is fine, assuming there's 3 more hours of plane traveling to go.</p><p>I'm glad we're traveling back to Hatsetsu, I can finally be comfortable for a week. I missed the rowdy mornings waking up next to Yuuri, and the warm home cooked meals that we all help with.</p><p>Yuuko and her triplets freaking out about the next competition. Also especially, going to the Onsen for a dip, with Yuuri .</p><p>I can bet you that the cherry blossoms are falling, which means that everything is pink and romantic everywhere in Japan.</p><p>
  <em>And this time I won't be coach zoned. </em>
</p><p>So I can kiss my fiancé right under the Sakura falling flowers during Hanahaki.</p><p>Of coarse I fell asleep, It was inevitable, his cute sleep noises put myself cold, out. I honestly had the weirdest dream, seriously weird-</p><p>I guess it was about 1500's France or some medieval era. Anyways, I was a foreigner or something because everyone started looking at me weirdly.</p><p>But, some of them praised me, like I was royal. I still can't get over the fact that I stepped into a castle.</p><p>In it, I saw this beautiful woman, dressed in a black and red huge dress, her eyes were brown, hair black, and coil curled.</p><p>I honestly mistook her for Yuuri several times. And to be 100% honest, her features were exactly like Yuuri, as if he had a doppelgänger.</p><p>After that weird encounter, me and Yuuri got on the next plane in Tokyo. Then as usual, an hour to Nagasaki.</p><p>I told Yuuri about my strange dream, and he answered-</p><p>"I had the same dream, but when I first preformed Eros in China"</p><p>I kinda was shocked that we carried the same dream, but at the same time, I was confused as to, '<em>why we both had that dream</em>'.</p><p>I guess it means that I was right, that the woman was Yuuri by; falling in love with her in the dream. Yuuri also told me that it was a reoccurring dream, that continued with a story.</p><p>In his eyes, a handsome foreigner prince comes to court the princess in waiting. The princess is very distant to the man, giving him a cold shoulder every time he flirted with her. But one time, he finally stole her heart and made love to her.</p><p>He said that the dream ends very sadly though, that the prince is arranged to be married by his father, because he took so long to court the princess. And, the prince ends up committing a horrible suicide.</p><p>I am lucky I didn't finish that dream-</p><p>
  <em>God, I'd be crying. </em>
</p><p>Our flight ended at 7:00pm; getting off we headed to the pick up area. Minako was supposedly there to pick us up, that's if she didn't get drunk-</p><p>
  <em>Surprisingly, she was. </em>
</p><p>"So, how was the flight?" She asked in her usual cheery voice. We headed down the escalator.</p><p>"It was good, I got to sleep..." Yuuri answered.</p><p>"That's good because you're gonna start training soon." She excitedly nudged him, I laughed a little.</p><p>"Rest as much as you can, because I'll overwork you till you can't stand" I cheerfully replied, Minako and Yuuri turned to me with surprised faces.</p><p>"That did not come out the way I wanted it to-" I looked down as we continued to walk.</p><p>"Well the car's right there so jump in and put your suitcases in the trunk" Minako said, popping the button as she sat down in the drivers seat.</p><p>We sat our luggage in the back, while going and sitting the car. Another stupid long hour wait to Hatsetsu. But, being in the back with Yuuri makes it bearable.</p><p>I was relieved to be right about the cherry blossoms falling, they're everywhere.</p><p>
  <em>Perfect for some photos!</em>
</p><p>Soon enough, we pulled up to the Hot Springs, getting our luggage and all.</p><p>"Hirako! Tashiya! I brought your beloved sons back!" Minako yelled across the house from the shoe plate.</p><p>"Yuuri, Vii-chan" Hirako gave us both a huge hug.</p><p>"It's so nice to see you again..." She let go of the hug.</p><p>"It's nice to be home again" I said, kissing Yuuri's cheek.</p><p>"Viktor you're alright? Right?" She asked me.</p><p>"Yeah, I don't even feel a thing anymore!"<br/>I smiled, taking off my shoes along with Yuuri.</p><p>"That's great, Minako, you're welcome to stay and have a little sake of you like, after all you did bring them home for me" She offered.</p><p>"Sake? Hell any liquor that's free is fine with me!" Minako cheerfully kicked her heels off and went to the lobby area. Me and Yuuri went straight to our rooms to unpack.</p><p>"Yuuri?" I broke the silence of folding clothes.</p><p>"Hmm? Yeah?" He replied.</p><p>"You want to go in the Hot Spings after this, and relax? The restaurant isn't open here, so we'll be alone" I explained.</p><p>"Okay, sure" He answered, taking out his computer and putting it on the desk. He stopped and flustered.</p><p>"A-Alone?" He peeped loudly.</p><p>"Yeah, that's what I said" I got confused.</p><p>"O-oh okay" He looked down.</p><p>"You okay?" I questioned.</p><p>"Y-Yeah, totally fine!" He quickly answered.</p><p>We got all our stuff unpacked and ate some of the leftover dinner from that night.</p><p>I quickly got undressed and basically cannonballed into the Springs. I don't know why Yuuri was acting all squeamish when he got in, as if he didn't want to go. He sat down and covered himself uncomfortably, I glided close to him.</p><p>"Yuuuuri~ What's the matter?" I asked him.</p><p>"N-Nothing" He stuttered.</p><p>"Oh really?" I questioned, pulling up one of his hands.</p><p>"Viktor!" He squealed loudly, pulling away.</p><p>"Yuuri seriously, what is the matter?" I asked as he violently ripped his wrist from my hand.</p><p>"This was a bad idea-" He looked away, I pulled off his hands again.</p><p>"Viktor!!" He practically screamed.</p><p>"What!? You're acting weird! Really weird!" I yelled back, before looking down.</p><p>"Ah!" He kicked me in the face, backing to the other side of the Springs.</p><p>"Ow!" I plugged my nose as a little blood came from it.</p><p>"I'm sorry!" He squealed from the other side, "You really kicked me hard so I wouldn't see you turned on!" I laughed loudly, he didn't answer, but pulled his knees into his chest.</p><p>
  <em>Great, that means he's crying, </em>
</p><p>I swam to the other side.</p><p>"G-go away" He sniffed, I caressed his face lightly. "I must be d-disgusting to you..." He pouted, I pulled him into a kiss.</p><p>"No, It's natural to get like that with your partner" I said, He just sniffed more into his knees.</p><p>"If you ever, ever want to do that, tell me okay..." I wiped his tears away.</p><p>"So just relax and enjoy the hot springs, don't think about intimacy, think of it as a relaxing spa, and I'm just a random stranger" I said.</p><p>"Mnn" He nodded.</p><p>"Love you-" I smiled, he pouted and put his knees down.</p><p>"Random strangers don't yell love you to each other" He said, I laughed loudly.</p><p>"Whatever, you get my point" I splashed over at him.</p><p></p><div>
  <p>I suppose we went to bed after that, and woke up to start packing everything this time.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Since we were moving to St. Petersburg, I just hope the damn season ends so-</p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>I can marry him already...</em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. XXX Author's note (PLEASE READ!)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em><b>Smut Chapters </b></em><em>will be </em>mostly <b><em>(increased detail)</em></b> <em><b>separated</b></em><em> from </em><em><b>normal ones</b></em><em>, they will </em><em><b>not have plot convince</b></em><em>, so skipping them will be manageable. </em></p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="u">Some smut contains minors, aged 17, I do not need to remind people that the average age of loosing your virginity is 16.9. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>
      <span class="u">Please be respectful. </span>
    </b>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 11, St. Petersburg</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>
      <b>-Yuuri's P.O.V.-</b>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p><br/>Viktor coughed loudly as we entered his apartment, it was expected that it would be dusty. He hadn't been there in over a year; Makkachin jumping slightly up and down at the excitement of coming home.</p><p>"Makka, don't you dare!" Viktor scolded him.</p><p>Makkachin of course, ignored Viktor, and jumped on the dusty couch, particles of dust flying through the air.</p><p>"Jesus Christ" Viktor sneezed in a fit.</p><p>"Makka" I walked over and pushed him off gently.</p><p>"Gosh-" Viktor continued to sneeze, his eyes watering.</p><p>"Viktor, are you allergic to dust or something?" I giggled.</p><p>"Yes, don't make fun of me" He pouted.</p><p>"I wasn't, but it's kinda cute" I chuckled lightly from my throat.</p><p>"It's disastrous!" He whined, marching to his hall closet, busting the door open, he pulled out the vacuum.</p><p>"Do you need help?" I asked.</p><p>"No! I'm very capable of cleaning my house" He argued.</p><p>"Alright, I guess I'll put away our clothes" I got up, Makkachin following behind me.</p><p>I heard soft mumbling behind me as I took the suitcases and boxes to the back room. His room was cold, grey, and felt-</p><p>
  <em>Dreadful</em>
</p><p>The whole apartment had a lonely feeling, you can tell a lot about a person by their living space. It felt like I was being choked by nerves, fear and regret.</p><p>Makkachin whined in acknowledgement to what I was feeling. This house felt like that feeling I often knew too well, one I used to feel daily. That feeling of not wanting to act, or even do anything, or, even feeling like I was worth anything.</p><p>It was a skin tearing feeling, a weight on my body, a constant character of terror.</p><p>And that feeling was in this house,</p><p>"Depression" I mumbled, the sound of the vacuum blaring covered up my voice.</p><p>"I have more dust than a Moscow winter!" Viktor laughed over the humming of the cleaner.</p><p>"I bet!" I yelled back, chuckling, but, my smiling was soon cut off by the deep feeling of the room.</p><p>"Wow-" I looked over at the wall, all five medals, along with a few Olympic ones were scattered across the wall. They were dusty, but seeing them in real life was impeccable.</p><p>There were a few photos of Viktor and Yakov over the years. One of them in the Eros costume, and another in Agape. He was perfect, perfect in my eyes.</p><p>This house told me a lot more about him than he ever has. He told me he suffered from depression, but, I didn't expect this.</p><p>I wonder how many nights he came home lonely, even though he was a celebrity, how many people broke his heart?</p><p>I wouldn't be one of those people, <em>I wouldn't ever hurt him. </em></p><p>If I'm going to love him, if I'm going to be his love, I have to know all of him, even the bad parts.</p><p>Even the stories this house tells me.</p><p>I sighed gently to myself, opening the first box, honestly, I wasn't sure where to put anything. I looked around at the many cupboards and drawers.</p><p>
  <em>I had to start somewhere-</em>
</p><p>I opened the first drawer, it was neatly organized papers, second was more papers. I'm guessing the last was papers, so definitely nothing could be put here.</p><p>I checked the other drawers, one filled with a bunch of old medals or silver Grand Prix medals.</p><p>I looked in the next set, old costumes, I could definitely put all the costumes he had shipped back. So I gently placed the old ones in the drawers.</p><p>Viktor had two closets, one was filled with files and old things, and the other-</p><p>Oh boy, my fiancé, calling him a fashionista was an understatement. He seriously burned my tie and coat, because it was '<em>unacceptable</em>' but, this man's closet was not something to be messed with.</p><p>"Viktor, where do I put my clothes?" I asked, raising my voice over the vacuum.</p><p>"Uhh-" He yelled, "Put the ones I bought with the matching designer, I only bought you Gucci really-"</p><p>"Matching designer?" I mumbled, thinking.</p><p>He seriously ordered and organized his clothes by brand-</p><p>"Where do I put the others?" I screamed.</p><p>"You want my opinion?" Viktor echoed.</p><p>"Yes! Obviously" I pinched my temples.</p><p>"In the trash!" He laughed.</p><p>"I'm not putting them in the trash, so I guess I'll find an empty drawer or shelf-" I mumbled, salty.</p><p>I put the ones that he bought me with the matching brand, along with the shoes. I looked over at the other closet, it wasn't very organized, so I guess I could organize it.</p><p>I started with the boxes of files, it was basic leases, contracts with companies, and paychecks. I organized them to their respective piles, turning 5 boxes into 1.</p><p>Next, boxes of pictures, none were very recent, probably from the 90s and early 00s. They at least had the dates on the back, so I started organizing those.</p><p>One photo of Viktor and Yurio caught my eye, he looked so small. Well, Viktor looked small but, Yurio was tiny, and of course, Yakov towered over them both.</p><p>I set it in its deserved pile, picking up another smaller box, pulling out a peculiar photo. Viktor looked 16 in the photo, but the man he was with looked far older.</p><p>You know, those stereotypical romantic photos? Where you hold your significant other's arm and lean into it? That was this photo, I could be wrong-</p><p>This could just be an uncle, and Viktor was naturally clingy. You would think Viktor and Chris were dating, because of how touchy they were, but they're just best friends.</p><p>That and Chris is getting married to his fiancé.</p><p>I put the photo in the non-skating pile, pulling out more, I realized ripped photos, some even halfway burned. I started matching the pieces together, this was an old relationship.</p><p>The man had dark brown hair, and a scruffy beard that was slightly trimmed, bright blue eyes, and a charming smile. Viktor looked happy in these photos, with that cute heart grin.</p><p>They'd be the perfect couple if the man wasn't appeared to be 25-30. It kinda made me sick to my stomach, I was 24, and I couldn't imagine dating a kid like Yurio's age.</p><p>"I thought I threw these out" Viktor mumbled behind me, I jumped.</p><p>"I was trying to organize the closet so I could put my clothes away-" I muttered altogether.</p><p>"It doesn't matter-" He started picking up the photos, putting them in the box, he walked out the room swiftly.</p><p>"Viktor?" I followed behind him, he threw his coat on, and slipped his shoes on.</p><p>"Viktor? Where are you-"</p><p>"The trash" He scoffed, slamming the door behind him.</p><p>They were just photos, it wasn't that big of a deal. Why was he so angry? Did he not want me to know?</p><p>It wasn't Viktor's fault if he was in that relationship, he was, after all, just a kid. The person truly at fault was that man, he knew exactly was he was doing.</p><p>I gritted my teeth.</p><p><em>Disgusting</em>-</p><p>-</p><p>Viktor didn't come back for hours, not sure what he went to do. I hope he isn't mad at me. I seriously was just trying to organize the boxes.</p><p>A turn of the key fumbled with the doorknob, I perked up, ready to apologize, ready to talk things out. I just hope Viktor would open up-</p><p>"Viktor-"</p><p>"Who are you calling a baldy?" Yurio scoffed.</p><p>"Apparently you"</p><p>"Where is he anyways?" He looked at me.</p><p>"Why do you have a key to his house?"</p><p>"I asked you a question first"</p><p>"I don't know, he left an hour ago, angry" I sighed.</p><p>"Viktor gave me a key for when I needed a safe space, and, to hang out" Yurio shrugged.</p><p>"What are you here for?"</p><p>"Viktor, I need some advice on jumps, but, he's not here, so I'll leave-"</p><p>"Wait!" I grabbed Yurio's Tiger jacket.</p><p>"What? Pig?" He snapped.</p><p>"Do you know anything about Viktor's past relationships?" I asked.</p><p>"No? Not really, except the one pedophile one, everyone associated with his dumbass knows that story" He rolled his eyes.</p><p>"He-" I paused, "Never told me"</p><p>"Probably trying to shelter you, or some shit, all I know is Yakov warned me or whatever it was, with Beka, even though we're a two year difference?" He laughed.</p><p>"You and Beka are a healthy relationship from what I can gather"</p><p>"Yeah, and Yakov kept going on and on about maturity, and even though I'm 16, I need to make good decisions" He paused, "He said, ultimately, not to get into a 10 year difference-"</p><p>"Yeah, I guess that's good advice" I smiled.</p><p>"Well, I'm gonna head back to my house, hopefully your old man comes back" Yurio walked down the hall, waving me off.</p><p>"Bye" I waved back.</p><p>I sat back down in worry. This wasn't good, I think I overstepped, this wasn't right, I messed up-</p><p>"Yuuri~" Viktor came through the door, fumbling.</p><p>"Viktor, you're home, I was worried sick!" I walked over and hugged him.</p><p>"I went out drinking, nothing too bad" He giggled, mouth reeking of vodka, he never drank the hard stuff.</p><p>"Why didn't you come back home after taking stuff to the trash?" I asked.</p><p>"I just, felt like drinkingg~" He kissed my cheek several times.</p><p>"Viktor, you never drink hard liquor, unless something's on your mind" I gripped his shirt.</p><p>"I like drinking, makes me forget stuff" He bubbled out his lips.</p><p>"Viktor-"</p><p>"Not like it's not my fault, I-" He paused, punching his temple to think. "You probably think I was disgusting, didn't wanna come back to that-"</p><p>"Not at all!" I argued, "I don't think you're disgusting, your past doesn't define you-"</p><p>"Oh! But it does, I don't trust anybody~" He hiccups.</p><p>"You trust me, don't you?" I asked.</p><p>"If I trusted you, I would've told you, right?" He laughed sarcastically, Viktor was cruel when he was vulnerable, like, a wall.</p><p>He had a wall up to protect him, and it hurt,  it burned my throat. I hate that feeling, like I'm about to cry, heat builds up in my cheeks and eyelids.</p><p>"I trust you" I mumbled, swallowing my anxiety.</p><p>"That's your choice" He patted my head.</p><p>I hit his hand away, "Why can't you just be yourself!? Why can't I know the man I'm in love with, even the bad parts!" I screamed, hot drips falling out of my eyes.</p><p>"You're so fucking selfish!" I could hear myself breaking.</p><p>"Yuuri, I didn't-"</p><p>"No! You did!" My voice cracked, walking away, I slammed the bathroom door behind me.</p><p>I couldn't hold it back, not even my meds could stop this. I couldn't breathe again, sliding on the floor.</p><p>
  <em>He was just drunk, he didn't mean it-</em>
</p><p>I screamed in my pants, it was frustrating, whatever I did today, I broke some sort of trust. He didn't love me, how can you love someone without trust? He even said that we had to trust eachother.</p><p>Love is confusing, terrible even, I couldn't even think it out. I was stupid, dumb, careless, idiotic, and everything else my depression could pull out.</p><p>
  <em>I should sleep, I'm tired </em>
</p><p>Emotionally tired, and physically. I curled up on the bath matt, I didn't feel like doing anything.</p><p>
  <em>Wasn't like I was anything at all anyways-</em>
</p><p>I closed my eyes, small tears falling delicately on the matt, at least I was calm-</p><p>-</p><p>I woke up to the fumbling of the door, I got up and opened it.</p><p>"I need some aspirin" Viktor sighed, going past me.</p><p>I stayed quiet, I didn't even want to be up. I just, want to go home, and stay in my bed. That would be great-</p><p>"I was hammered last night! Gosh, I don't even remember coming home" He giggled, taking the pill, getting his toothbrush.</p><p>I continued to stay quiet.</p><p>"Why didn't you come to bed? Did I get too touchy? You could've gone on the couch, not on a bath matt silly" He smiled.</p><p>"I didn't feel like it" I mumbled.</p><p>Viktor looked at me with his toothbrush in his mouth, "Are you depressed today?" He asked.</p><p>"I guess you could call it that"</p><p>"Alright, we'll take it easy and watch movies together!" He spat out the foamed toothpaste, wrapping his arm around my waist.</p><p>I pulled his arm off, "I don't want to be by you" I scoffed.</p><p>"Why?" His eyes saddened.</p><p>"Maybe if you trusted me-"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"What's the point of this relationship if you don't trust me?"</p><p>"I trust you Yuuri, more than anyone else!" He lied, he was lying again, always lying.</p><p>"If you truly trusted me, you'd tell me why you were so upset about those photos!" I was fuming.</p><p>"I don't like telling that story" He looked away.</p><p>"You said last night, that obviously you don't trust me cause you wouldn't even speak about your past!" I rolled my eyes.</p><p>"Then I was an asshole last night" He sighed, "But, my point still stands, I don't want to speak about this-"</p><p>"Why not!"</p><p>"Please don't pressure me-"</p><p>"No, I want to know!"</p><p>"Yuuri please"</p><p>"You know everything about me"</p><p>"This is different-"</p><p>"How?!" I snapped.</p><p>"Cause I was raped!" He screamed, his eyes filled with tears, glossy and red, "I had a panic attack yesterday at those photos, so I drank to get rid of it-" He paused.</p><p>"You don't need to know more, alright?" He scoffed, slamming his toothbrush on the counter.</p><p>"Viktor?" I grabbed him.</p><p>"What?" He sniffed, "I don't need you seeing me like this-"</p><p>"But I want to, even the bad parts about you" I pushed his hair behind his ear. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed it" I kissed his wet cheek. "I love you"</p><p>"I love you too" He rested his head in my shoulder.</p><p>"I'll be here when you're ready to tell the whole story" I rubbed his back.</p><p>"Okay" He hugged me tighter.</p><p>"I'm glad you're mine" I cupped his cheek and pecked his lips.</p><p>"I'm glad too" He sighed.</p><p>St. Petersburg isn't so bad, even though Viktor grew up in Moscow, I'm glad to see the home that made him into the man he is. I'm glad to meet the people who effected his life the most.</p><p>
  <em>And, I'm glad for his honesty about the ones who broke him-</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 12, Past</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>
      <span class="u">Warning: Rape scene, if you have past trauma I don't expect you to read this. This chapter just goes into depth about the relationship, and you can skip it. </span>
    </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>__</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don't believe in love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It doesn't exist, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It's a lie-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A fib-</em>
</p><p>The waves on the beach grew louder with the tide. It was nice to see the moon glisten on the horizon, sparkle and shimmer. How the soft water reflected that light.</p><p>The moon always had a lonely feeling, maybe that's why I liked night. My long hair strayed in the wind, my lips almost out of chapstick, smothered by the salt.</p><p>I hated my lips chapped, it felt like sandpaper. I often bit the skin off, or used my saliva if I didn't have any lipstick, lipgloss, or chapstick. I know it's nasty to lick your lips so they're not dry, but, sometimes, you gotta do it.</p><p>I stared at my feet, sighing gently. I wanted to hide from the world, be myself.</p><p>
  <em>I wanted freedom</em>
</p><p>
  <em>_</em>
</p><p>"You won't make juniors with that sloppy leg!" Yakov yelled.</p><p>I gritted my teeth, most of the damn juniors can't do quads, and I do them just fine-</p><p>"Did you listen to me?!" Yakov scoffed.</p><p>I did a quad salchow, trying to fix whatever '<em>sloppy leg</em>' I had. Annoying as it was, I was already top of my class; not to sound narcissistic. But, I could beat all of these skaters with my eyes closed.</p><p>"Vitya! No quads!" He scolded me.</p><p>"I need to learn them!" I argued back.</p><p>"Not for another year!"</p><p>"So I might as well learn them now!" I argued.</p><p>"You need to focus on the program you have now" He exhaled in anger.</p><p>"I am, I'm adding things!" I laughed a little.</p><p>"You're not allowed to do quads, for the 50th time!" He banged his fists on the side wall.</p><p>I rolled my eyes, cursing under my breath, "Oh I can't wait til I'm in the senior division!" I screamed.</p><p>"Yeah, well, you'll have a reality check then" Yakov laughed.</p><p>"I'd like to see them try" I mumbled.</p><p>"What?" He rose a brow, "Say that louder Vitya"</p><p>"Nothing, it was nothing, I'll go back to doing triples" I smiled.</p><p>"That's what I thought"</p><p>_</p><p>"109.67, that beats Viktor's previous junior record set by himself-" The announcer yelled into the microphone.</p><p>"Good work Vitya" Yakov smiled, patting me on the back.</p><p>"Could've landed my triples a little better" I shrugged, holding a dog plush.</p><p>"Don't be too hard on yourself, this performance was well executed" He chuckled deep from his throat.</p><p>"Lilia would've said I was sloppy" I joked.</p><p>"Lilia says everything is sloppy" Yakov laughed.</p><p>We both got up and headed out to watch other performers, Yakov was the top Coach in Russia; so it would make sense that his students were phenomenal. On top of that, his wife was a top ballet instructor with years of experience in the Balshoi ballet.</p><p>Which left me with high expectations, not like it was hard to meet them, but the pressure was crazy.</p><p>
  <em>Thank god, this was the last Junior division I had to do-</em>
</p><p>I don't think I could handle another year of this, it's boring. And living with Lilia and Yakov? Ugh, no, I want my own place, these wins aren't enough to get my own apartment.</p><p>
  <em>I'll nail my 2nd program tomorrow, it's not even worth worrying about-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>_</em>
</p><p>Yakov always dragged me with the other skaters to the Banquet party after the GPF. Although, it was important to get sponsors, and it would help me in the long run; it doesn't mean I enjoy it.</p><p>
  <em>And who would want to go to a party you can't even drink at? </em>
</p><p>Not that I like drinking, it's just, I'm too scared I'll be exactly like my father drunk. I don't want to be aggressive while drinking, I don't wanna hurt people.</p><p>
  <em>I</em>
  <em>t didn't matter-</em>
</p><p>I needed to just get through this, no matter how bored I was.</p><p>"Viktor Nikiforov?" I slightly jumped, started by the voice behind me.</p><p>"Uh yeah?" I pushed my long hair behind my ear, swallowing my face that was stuffed with cheese.</p><p>" I'm Max, I saw your free skate for the junior finals, they were amazing" He smiled, and my knees shook in place.</p><p>"Thank you" I felt my cheeks heat like the sun, he was hot, saying the least. He was very tall, maybe 6'? His eyes were a beautiful shade of grey, not too blue, but not too dull. His hair was like chocolate, short, but pulled to the side nicely.</p><p>
  <em>To tell the truth, I had a little thing for dark hair-</em>
</p><p>"Is that your real hair color?" He asked.</p><p>"Uh, yeah, my mom has the same color" I giggled.</p><p>"Well, it's gorgeous" He giggled.</p><p>"Thank you, are you a skater?" I asked, "I haven't seen you on the ice, are you a junior?"</p><p>"Oh no! I'm a sponsor, looking for new skaters" He gestured to me.</p><p>"You usually talk to coaches for that" I winked.</p><p>"Thought I would go to the source" He winked back.</p><p>"How old are you?" I questioned.</p><p>"25" He answered, "That a problem?"</p><p>"Only for a year, in my country" I giggled, "I just turned 15"</p><p>"I guessed that from you being a new skater" He was red.</p><p>"Am I airheaded, or, are you flirting with me?" I deadpanned.</p><p>"Oh, I was this entire time, it just took you a minute-"</p><p>"Ah" I mumbled, my face was on fire, he was smooth as hell, handsome, and nice. The only problem was that 10 year difference, was it really a problem?</p><p>"You look like a tomato" He joked.</p><p>"Eeeh?!" I pulled out my blackberry, he was right, "I suppose so-"</p><p>"That's fine, I usually make them blush" He chuckled.</p><p>"Are you planning to make me one of them?" I daringly asked.</p><p>"I don't know, I do live in the same city you do" He mentioned.</p><p>"St. Petersburg?" My jaw dropped.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm Russian" He mumbled.</p><p>"Your English is so good, I just assumed-"</p><p>"Yeah, Ma is American"</p><p>"Wow, you must be mixed"</p><p>"Russian, Irish, Mexican and I think Native American" He named off.</p><p>"Wow, I'm just, straight Russian, well, not straight, but Russian" I joked.</p><p>"Gay Russian" He laughed.</p><p>"So? Um... " I was at a loss of how to start more conversation.</p><p>"I'll be home by next week, so, 5 o' clock?" He asked.</p><p>"I don't even have your number-"</p><p>"348-3356" He said quickly.</p><p>"Can you just, put it in-" I handed my phone with add contact open.</p><p>"Alright" He giggled, typing it into my phone, giving it back.</p><p>"Thank you" I mumbled.</p><p>"You're so cute" He kissed my cheek, my face heated up like lava.</p><p>"I- uh- so... 5?" I rambled.</p><p>"Yeah, whatever day you want, I'll pick you up" He stared in my eyes.</p><p>"Yeah" I sighed out like a hopeless romantic, was I an idiot? He was so much better than me, I had reputation, but it was barely there, what did I have to offer?</p><p>"Your eyes are so pretty"</p><p>"So are yours" I hid behind my hands, I was to embarrassed.</p><p>"Don't be shy, show your true colors"</p><p>
  <em>True colors. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>_</em>
</p><p>"So? You like cuddles?" He asked, arm around my waist, petting it lightly. I liked the attention.</p><p>"Yes, I love cuddles" I snuggled into his chest, listening to his thumping heartbeat.</p><p>"What about kisses?" He asked, kissing my cheek.</p><p>We hadn't actually kissed, only on the cheek, not the lips. To be honest, I really wanted to kiss him deep, soft, loving, and run my fingers through his hair. Yakov honestly was getting suspicious...</p><p>But, this was my choice, not his, and as far as he knew we were just friends. So, why not keep that mindset on him?</p><p>"Maxxy, can I do something?"</p><p>"Of course, whatever you like" He gently curved his lips to a smile.</p><p>I took his jawline in my hand, pulled it to mine, and gently placed lips on his. My eyebrows curved, silently, I moved my hands to his hair. His hands roamed up to my cheeks, caressing softly.</p><p>"I didn't expect that of you, baby" He giggled, giving me a peck on the lips.</p><p>I was heated to my ears, "I- I- really didn't mean?" I fumbled with my words, anxiety hitting my mind.</p><p>"It's fine, I thought it was cute" He pulled up my jaw with his index finger. "So fucking cute" He whispered, pulling me into another soft kiss.</p><p>"B-baby?" I pulled apart, gliding my thumb across his face.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I like you" I smiled.</p><p>"Well, I hope so, you just kissed me?" He laughed, "And it was your first kiss"</p><p>"Bold of you to assume I haven't kissed before"</p><p>"Then who was it?" He asked.</p><p>I mumbled, I really hadn't kissed anyone, or even been touched. I was a complete fucking virgin.</p><p>"You're such a cute little virgin" He laughed.</p><p>"I'm not-"</p><p>"Don't lie, it's written all over your face" He said, grabbing my crotch just to prove it.</p><p>I jumped, "Why? Why did you-" I squealed.</p><p>"A virgin wouldn't react like that" He winked.</p><p>"So? What's wrong with being a virgin?" I ticked.</p><p>"Nothing, just means you're not gonna be sexually casual, or comfortable with sex" He laughed.</p><p>"How many-"</p><p>"20 or so, I've always used condoms and gotten tested, so I should be clean" He shrugged.</p><p>I felt jealous, was I just not attractive enough? Was it because my body was unattractive? Was I unattractive?</p><p>"But, hopefully you'll be the next one and the last to have sex with me" He kissed my cheek.</p><p>I was on fire, sex was taboo, so many feelings were in having sex, was I enough for those feelings?</p><p>"Are you sure you want me?" I asked in a downish tone.</p><p>"Yes, God yes, I want you even now" He kissed my lips.</p><p>"I-" I definitely wasn't ready for that sort of thing.</p><p>"But, I know you're not exactly ready, we've only been together for 4 months" He ran his fingers gently through my hair.</p><p>"When did you suppose I'd be ready?"</p><p>"In two months, I can't wait much longer-" He giggled, "I mean, I'll just have go find someone who will-"</p><p>"No! I'll be ready, it's just sex, no biggie-"</p><p>
  <em>I ate those words</em>
</p><p>_</p><p>"C'mon, it's only natural, everyone has sex" He begged.</p><p>"I just, I'm not sure-"</p><p>"You won't find anyone better than me, I'm good in bed" He whispered.</p><p>"I-"</p><p>
  <em>I don't want to</em>
</p><p>"Viktor, I promise it'll be amazing, baby, please" He kissed my neck.</p><p>"Maxxy, please, I just, I'm scared, I don't-"</p><p>"I'll guide you through it, I won't hurt you I promise" He kissed me deeply.</p><p>"Please" I pleaded.</p><p>"You want me to leave you? Is that what it is?" He warned. "I mean, you could find somebody, but I bet she, or he will be just as mediocre as you" He chuckled darkly.</p><p>"No, Maxxy, please don't say that, I love you!" I started crying, "Would you really leave me over this?"</p><p>"Yeah" He giggled.</p><p>I didn't want to loose him, I wanted him to be mine forever. Isn't that what love is? Being together no matter what the cost?</p><p>"Viktor, listen, if you don't show basic trust after 6 months, how could we possibly continue this relationship?"</p><p>I didn't think, I just snapped, "But, this is my body"</p><p>"Mine as well, that's how a relationship works, what's yours is mine"</p><p>"Maxxy, please"</p><p>"If you don't sleep with me by the next hour, you're leaving out that door" He scoffed.</p><p>I was so scared, so very <em>scared</em>.</p><p>I had no choice, he was my main sponsor, and the man I loved, it wouldn't be too bad anyways that I lost it to him. "Okay, I will, just, please, please be at least gentle, I don't want my first to be quick"</p><p>"I can do that" He smiled.</p><p>"Okay" I numbly answered.</p><p>He took my cheek in his hand and brought his lips to my neck, he sucked lightly in several spots, trying to find what I liked.</p><p>We were already on the bed, so it was kinda fitting in a way.</p><p>"Viktor, where does it feel good?" He asked gently, caressing my neck.</p><p>"I-I don't know" I heated up.</p><p>"Here?" He sucked into my shoulder.</p><p>"I-" I breathed heavily, "It feels weird" I mumbled.</p><p>He bit my neck in a snap, and I gently moaned, maybe it was the excitement, or fear?</p><p>"Oh, so you like it rough?" He chuckled.</p><p>"No, I'm not really sure, how I like anything" I looked away, he took off my shirt, button by button.</p><p>"You don't touch yourself?"</p><p>"I do, I just-" I choked on my words, as he pinched a nipple.</p><p>"Feel good?"</p><p>
  <em>I feel, violated</em>
</p><p>"Not really"</p><p>"Like this?" He sucked gently on one, pushing me back into the pillows.</p><p>I couldn't help but moan, it was sensitive there. Not that it felt the greatest, I was honestly too scared for all of this. I didn't feel ready, I was too young.</p><p>"Good boy" He chuckled, pulling off my pants.</p><p>"Max, please" I teared up.</p><p>"It's gonna be okay, I promise" He kissed my cheek, I felt my drawers go down my legs and off.</p><p>I was completely naked, sure, there was the rink showers, but no one really looked at you like this. No one looked at you like a sex object, that's what this felt like.</p><p>"Gosh, you're so beautiful, your skin is so bright and smooth" He trailed his fingers down my body.</p><p>I shivered slightly at the touch, at this point I felt disgusting.</p><p>"I expected you to be smaller by your body size-" He wrapped his hand around my dick.</p><p>"That's kinda rude" I giggled awkwardly.</p><p>"It's not rude, you're like, unproportionate" He laughed</p><p>"My dick is bigger than I look?" I laughed slightly.</p><p>"Basically" He whispered in my ear, kissing my cheek, he pulled out his lube outta that oak drawer.</p><p>"Agh" I gulped, it was so cold, but it warmed up quickly as he pumped slowly.</p><p>"Feel good?"</p><p>
  <em>No-</em>
</p><p>"It feels okay" I answered.</p><p>"Baby, I want you to feel good" He sighed.</p><p>"I'm just, scared" I felt my throat beg in guilt.</p><p>"It's okay, you're with me, I promise" He caressed my cheek.</p><p>"Okay" I mumbled.</p><p>"Here, let's try this" He took a small dildo from his drawer.</p><p>"I-"</p><p>"Have you ever tried toys?"</p><p>"No, I've never tried toys" I answered.</p><p>"Good let's try it then" He smiled.</p><p>"I don't-"</p><p>"It's okay" He rubbed my sides, spreading lube on his fingers.</p><p>"Maxxy, please"</p><p>"Shh" He whispered, fingers touching my entrance softly.</p><p>
  <em>Stop-</em>
</p><p>"ah-" I lowly moaned at the intrusion.</p><p>"That's it, baby" He kissed my cheek.</p><p>
  <em>I hated this, it wasn't like when </em>
  <em>I</em>
  <em> touched myself-</em>
</p><p>"I'm gonna put it in okay?"</p><p>"Max, please-" I paused, "I don't feel comfortable, can we stop?" I asked super politely.</p><p>"Baby, we're so close" He begged.</p><p>"I don't want-" I cut off, he pushed it in anyways.</p><p>"Is it good now?"</p><p>"No, Max, I really-" I teared up, he pumped lightly in my entrance.</p><p>"Does it hurt?"</p><p>"No, but I said I wasn't ready-" I weeped silently.</p><p>"Its okay, I promise" He kissed my tears.</p><p>"Max-" He pushed inside, it hurt, god it fucking hurt.</p><p>"Do I feel good baby?" He kissed my throat.</p><p>I couldn't feel, I couldn't fucking breathe. I heard slaps and creaks, but I couldn't register anything. I was crying, I didnt want this, I cared about Max, but I was too young-</p><p>I couldn't hear myself screaming, but he covered my mouth. It caused me to hiccup on oxygen, I was scared.</p><p>
  <em>So fucking scared-</em>
</p><p>-</p><p>But, despite this, I came back, no matter that afterwards, I couldn't walk for a couple of days. Despite being raped, I convinced myself it was because he loved me, I was nothing without him.</p><p>I tried voicing my opinions, but it got me hit, raped, forced to do a lot of things. He was my biggest sponsor, I couldn't lose him.</p><p>I was nothing, not attractive, just normal.</p><p>I pushed myself to the top of the podium, pushed to gold, so I felt good about myself.</p><p>
  <em>So I was enough-</em>
</p><p>"So now that you've got gold you think you're all that?" He laughed, caressing my face, he kissed my neck. "You're so adorable Viktor"</p><p>"You said that if I-" I paused, "If I got g-gold we'd celebrate"</p><p>"Oh, you want to celebrate?" He ran his fingers through my long hair, "My pretty princess, my girl"</p><p>"I'm not-"</p><p>"Shut it! Fuck?" He chuckled, "You're my girl, understand? Okay?" His hands wrapped around my neck.</p><p>"Yes-sir" I didn't even cry, I just shook.</p><p>"Good girl" He kissed me, I kissed back gently.</p><p>"Maxxy, please, can we celebrate differently?" I asked.</p><p>"I paid all that money so you would have an apartment, and win that gold, so its mine" He slithered his words in my ears.</p><p>"I earned the money back, I'll pay you, I just, I wanna just watch a movie" I gulped.</p><p>"I don't care about the fucking money you fucking wench, why can you get it through your skull?"</p><p>"I didn't mean it, I just don't understand why you would bring it up if you didn't care-"</p><p>"Oh my god can we just fuck? Okay? You talk so fucking much" He kissed me, I pushed him gently.</p><p>"Max, please listen, I love you, I don't like this" I mumbled.</p><p>"Its not about you liking it doll, you moan anyways right? So it feels good?"</p><p>"I-"</p><p>"Tell me it feels good" He whispered.</p><p>"Max-"</p><p>"Tell me it fucking feels good!" He wrapped his hands around my long hair, slamming me on the floor.</p><p>"Maxxy! Please!" I screamed in fear.</p><p>"You fucking listen to me! You're mine, got it?" He screamed. "I could report you, get you fired for being with me, I could even show them the pretty pictures and videos I took"</p><p>"Max! Please stop, I just want to watch movies and c-cuddle, is that too much to ask?"</p><p>"So you think you own the house huh? You make the rules?"</p><p>"N-no stop taking it to the extreme!" I wailed.</p><p>"God, you're so fucking ridiculously stupid, Viktor, do you not get it?" He giggled, "Is it not clicking?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"You're fucking mine, my slut, my fucking play thing, you don't get a choice, you're trapped"</p><p>"Maxxy, I love you" I sniffed.</p><p>"Oh, I love you too sweetie, when you listen to me and do as I ask"</p><p>"I will, I just-"</p><p>"No fucking buts"</p><p>I don't know what exactly snapped in me that night, maybe, I was tired. Maybe I was fed up, maybe I wanted my life and my choices. Maybe I wanted true love.</p><p>"Fucking do that shit again bitch!" He cocked his 9mm.</p><p>"Max! Please put the gun down"</p><p>"No, you fucking listen" He put it against my head, "You are nothing" He paused, "You always wondered how I made so much bank? Right?"</p><p>"Max" I wept.</p><p>"I've killed a lot of people, Viktor, so, what's one more?" He laughed.</p><p>"Maxxy, please"</p><p>"Get on your fucking knees!" He screamed.</p><p>"Maxx, let me go home, so you can calm down"</p><p>"I'm not letting you fucking go, not until you give me what I want"</p><p>"Please put the gun down-" I pleaded, he shot a bullet by me.</p><p>"Click bitch" He laughed, I unbuckled his pants in a frantic, I didn't want to die.</p><p>I didn't want to die, I did everything he asked.</p><p>
  <em>Even if I hated it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
</p><p>When I got the chance, I ran out that door, packed my stuff and left. 3 years and I was done, I didn't go home, I went  straight to Yakov's the place he couldn't hurt me.</p><p>I was crying so hard, the outside was so fucking icy it burned my nose, and impacted my lungs like a thousand needles.</p><p>I still loved him, even after that, even after all the torture-</p><p>"Who would be at the door this early?" I heard Lillia say.</p><p>"I'm sorry to bother you and Yakov" I started, crying deeply.</p><p>"Vitya, what happened?" Yakov asked, I felt a flood of of a tears, a flood of everything.</p><p>"I- I'm so sorry" I cried in both of their arms.</p><p>"Its okay" Lillia ran her fingers through my hair, I knew she could see the bruises, both of them.</p><p>
  <em>I knew what I was truly facing.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 13, Flight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I woke up slowly, sighing gently, Viktor had gone to practice, I expected this, since, I got no sleep.</p><p>"Oh boy" I groaned, my head was banging, I constantly got headaches after breakdown and then a nap.</p><p>I shook Makkachin gently, his paws digging into the sheets before he lept off the bed.</p><p>I tore off my clothes as a I stepped in the shower. I let the water run down my body, in a state of mental thinking.</p><p>I know I shouldn't worry, it's the past, what happened to him is past, it's not him now. He loves me, cares about me, would never hurt me.</p><p>I just, would've never guessed.</p><p>He's just so calm about things, so simple. He has no problems sharing sexual feelings, it makes no sense.</p><p>Maybe he's gotten over it, it was 10 years ago, since I know his hair got cut when he was 18. So, it had to be before then.</p><p>I've only seen Viktor bothered 3 times, once when I tried to break us up, His father, and now this. I won't question it, its something he needs to work out enough to tell me.</p><p>I love him, so very much, and no matter of past will change that. I mean, as long as he's not a serial killer.</p><p>I laughed gently, Viktor could never kill a fly, I mean, I take that back, I've seen him kill a fly, so...</p><p><em>Whatever</em>.</p><p>I looked down and groaned, great, I didnt even notice I popped one waking up.</p><p>If I was going to practice today, I couldn't show up like this. I'll get lynched by all the skaters, including my own fiancee.</p><p>I breathed out, grabbing a little conditioner. I guess you can say I relieved 'stress' trying to take things off my mind.</p><p>Is it weird to think of my fiancee while doing this? He was a real person, a real man in my life, even though the thought of him got it done faster than porn.</p><p>I love him very much, I feel a little guilty afterwards, everytime. It feels like I've violated him, I'm probably overreacting. He probably does the same, maybe I'm hoping he does.</p><p>When I got sex-ed it was a lot different from America or Russia. Japanese culture praises itself on privacy. While sex in American culture is all over TV. It's never kept private, or really explained as love.</p><p>Sex is just, fucking in these cultures. Its honestly sad, I guess I've saved myself for this long because I want to be sure.</p><p>But I am sure I love Viktor, I love him so much. I can't wait to marry him, I can't wait to have a family with him. I know he'll be a wonderful parent.</p><p>At the end, I needed to be out of the shower, sighing softly. I turned the water off and got dressed.</p><p>I didn't have a key yet, but, I'm sure Viktor was still at practice. He had a key with him.</p><p>-</p><p>It felt like a dream to be at this rink, or even invited to the same one. Yakov lives up to his name, only top skaters come out of this ice. It was confusing a little, to think of myself as a top skater.</p><p>I went through the doors, sighing a little, the lady at the front looking at me weirdly.</p><p>She asked me something in Russian, of course I only know a few phrases. So, I was so mind-boggled.</p><p>She was getting angry at this point, pulling up her phone or something.</p><p>I decided to call Viktor, "Hi my love"</p><p>"Hey, what's up?"</p><p>"Theres this Russian lady yelling at me, and shes on the phone, I'm not sure what to do-" I trailed off.</p><p>"Where are you?"</p><p>"At the rink-" I paused, looking at two huge security guards walking towards me. "I think she called security" I whispered.</p><p>"I'll send Yurio, she probably thought you were a fan or news station"  He sighed.</p><p>"Okay, love you, thank you"</p><p>"Love you too, honey" He hung up.</p><p>The security guards were yelling at me, and I didn't understand a single word they were saying.</p><p>I tried showing them a picture of my JSF profile, and that just made them more angry.</p><p>I saw Yurio come out the side door. He groaned aloud and walked over.</p><p>"Yurio-" The security guards grabbed me at that moment.</p><p>"Hey-" Yurio grabbed one of their arms, speaking in Russian to both of them.</p><p>They looked at me and back at Yurio, whispering a softer tone to me, guessing it was an apology.</p><p>"You really need to learn Russian, pig, you were about to be arrested" He scoffed.</p><p>"For what?" I worried.</p><p>"Impersonating a celebrity" He pointed to my phone, "That and trespassing" He grabbed my hand and pulled me through the door.</p><p>Seeing Viktor on the ice rink threw me into memories. He looked like an angel, so untouchable.</p><p>-</p><p>"You need to work on your quads" He scolded me.</p><p>"Yeah" I nodded.</p><p>"You need to pull that through your noggin, not just take orders from me" He raised a brow.</p><p>"But, you're my coach" I argued.</p><p>"No buts, just do, actually feel the ice, let your nerves go" He demonstrated through soft breaths and performance moves.</p><p>How was I supposed to 'let' my nerves go? When, he was the cause of my nerves in the first place? How am I supposed to calm down when his very existence causes butterflies in my stomach? It was very fucking hard, not gonna lie.</p><p> "Yuuri, if you keep having things race your mind you're never going to be able to let go and get this jump down" He gave me the brow.</p><p>"I know but, I just, its very nerve racking when my biggest idol is kinda-"</p><p>"Teaching you? Its been 5 months Yuuri, you should be over this" He chuckled.</p><p>"I'm not used to anything, not even this program!" I sighed out.</p><p>"Maybe you need to find a better correspondence to your skating, something better than a pork-cutlet bowl" He laughed.</p><p>It honestly wasn't funny, "I can't think of anything else"</p><p>"You're not attracted to anyone? Like, a crush back in college?" He asked.</p><p>"I haven't experienced Eros like you, Viktor" I sighed, rolling my eyes.</p><p>"You can be Eros while being a virgin" He smiled, that God damn sarcastic smile.</p><p>"I dont think of anyone like that! Unlike you or fucking whatever!" I snapped, immediately covering my mouth, I regretted my words so hard, it affected my breathing.</p><p>"Not even me?" He chuckled. "I know a lot of people like photos of me, or you know-"</p><p>"No... I dont-" I paused, honestly this was a lie.</p><p>"What if you use me as your Eros?"</p><p>"But that would imply that I think of you sexually"</p><p>"So?"</p><p>"So?? Dont you find it weird? Someone thinking of you romantically or sexually without telling you?"</p><p>"No, its natural"</p><p>"Do you think this is a game?" I shook my head in disbelief, "You're flirting with me, but we're not in a relationship, and I'm <em>sure</em> I'm definitely not a match for you, look in the mirror!" I argued.</p><p>"You think I'm playing with you?" He pouted, "Wait-" He paused. "You thought that me asking you to sleepovers, dates, and going out was all platonic, not to mention kissing your cheek several times!" He snapped.</p><p>"I don't know-" I shook my head, "I'm so confused"</p><p>"Oh my god" He rolled his eyes, reached out, and pulled my face in.</p><p>I kept hearing the scratch of his skates over and over playing in my head, I didn't even register his lips. I didn't even think it had happened.</p><p>I mean, this whole thing seemed like a crazy 13 year old fanfic, you meet your idol and he likes you or something like that.</p><p>"Get it now?" His brows curved up to create this soft caring expression.</p><p>"I-"</p><p>"Its okay if you dont feel the same way, sorry I made you feel weird" He looked away.</p><p>"No, its-" I paused, "That was kinda my first kiss" My whole body heated to my ears burning.</p><p>"Oh" He laughed nervously, "Sorry" He smiled.</p><p>"No, it's kind of an honor to say you were my first kiss" I giggled out of fear.</p><p>"Can it be an honor for you to call me your first boyfriend?"</p><p>"A-Are you asking me to be uh-"</p><p>"Duh" He tilted his head, "Do I need to say it regularly?" He joked, "Me, you, together, like on dates, kisses, cuddles?" He put his hand on his hip.</p><p>"Can I even say yes?"</p><p>"I'm a regular person Yuuri, not just a celebrity" He laughed.</p><p>"Then yes?" I laughed slightly.</p><p>"Okay" He clapped.</p><p>"Don't make fun of me" I pouted.</p><p>"Now quads" He ignored my comment.</p><p>-</p><p>"Are you even listening to me, I am your coach technically" Viktor waved in front of me.</p><p>"Oh, I spaced"</p><p>"On me?" He laughed.</p><p>"Kinda" I giggled.</p><p>"Oh yeah?" He smiled, pecking my lips.</p><p>"You are my fiancee" I kissed his cheek.</p><p>"Mmm" He hummed in response, "We need to get training" He rubbed my side lovingly.</p><p>"Oh god" I heard that familiar rough voice.</p><p>"Oh you'd do the same if Otabek was here" Viktor rolled his eyes at the short competitor.</p><p>"And all three of you should be training as we speak" Yakov groaned.</p><p>"Yes sir" I bowed slightly, Viktor shrugged, and Yurio groaned.</p><p>"I already like him" Yakov smiled.</p><p>"That's cause hes a little bitch" Yurio chuckled.</p><p>"Shut-" Viktor hit him upside the head.</p><p>"Ah!" He held his head, pulling up his fist "You little-"</p><p>"Dont try me" Viktor smiled maliciously.</p><p>I walked slowly away and pulled off my guards, skating on the ice, despite whatever dispute Viktor and Yurio were going through, I needed to practice. Vita, was my hardest program yet, 6 quads, 4 at the end. Plus, I'm not sure I can capture 'life' well, I haven't lived enough to say I know.</p><p>I slipped out of my quads, sighing in frustration. I needed to keep going, pressure was getting to me.</p><p>I was facing top skaters, and watching them land things perfectly. I was nothing compared to Viktor, a guy who could land quads like nothing, even in practice.</p><p>And here I was pathetic, I was so goddamn pathetic.</p><p>"What the heck is your deal pig? You can perfect Viktors custom quad-" He scoffed, "I can't even do that" He stalled, "And here you are slipping up on basic quads!" He snapped, lending me a hand.</p><p>"Sorry"</p><p>"Its frustrating, you're so much better than this" He rolled his eyes, taking that tiny body with him, continuing to skate.</p><p>He was right, <em>I was better than this.</em></p><p>"What did he say?" Viktor came over, seeing me distressed.</p><p>"He said the truth" I argued.</p><p>"And what was that?"</p><p>"That I'm better than slipping out like this" I sighed.</p><p>Viktor tried to stay serious, but coughed out a laugh. "I-" He giggled, "Hes not wrong" He smirked.</p><p>"Its not funny" I pouted.</p><p>"It kinda is, cause-" He looked in my eyes, "You're like this god on the tournament, and here you are tripping on triples" He giggled. "Kinda black and white comparison, honey"</p><p>"Well I'm stressed!" I blurted, "I have like, 5 skaters way better than me surrounding me" I breathed.</p><p>"You're better than me" Viktor smiled.</p><p>"Shouldn't you be mad at me? It's like you said-"</p><p>"What did I say?"</p><p>"As your competitor, I'm your biggest diss!" I argued.</p><p>Viktor giggled softly, "I mean, you're right, but, I'm much more prouder" He cupped my jawline and kissed my cheek. "Prouder that you're mine, not only my student, but my love"</p><p>"You have a weird sense of teacher relationships" I sighed out.</p><p>"No!" He whined, "I dont, this just happened to go down" He hugged around me like a two year old.</p><p>"You just happened to slip your fingers, and find where I live, to coach me with definite alternative motive" I pushed up my glasses.</p><p>"Yuuri you're the one who asked me to be your coach"</p><p>"Coach doesn't equal a boyfriend relationship"</p><p>"In this time, it does" He nuzzled in my neck "You love me anyways"</p><p>"I do love you" I sighed, "And its honestly a mistake" I teased.</p><p>"Yuuuuurrrii" He whined, kissing my jawline, as he hung on me.</p><p>"We're on the ice, careful!" I pulled him up.</p><p>"You've wounded me" He collapsed to the ground.</p><p>"You are dramatic as hell" I scoffed.</p><p>"And you're cute" He pouted.</p><p>"Get up" I sighed gently.</p><p>"Give me kissies" He whined, I bent down and gave him a kiss.</p><p>"Now get up, you big baby" I helped him up.</p><p>"Viktor!" I heard a rough female voice, it wasn't Mila.</p><p>"Yes?" Viktor was visibly having shivers down his spine.</p><p>"Long time no see" She paused.</p><p>"Hi Lillia" He pulled me to the side of him.</p><p>"I see you're distracted" She pointed to me, I went to open my mouth, but Viktor gave me a look not to.</p><p>"Hes a good distraction, helps me with skating" He argued.</p><p>"That's what you said about the last guy you were with" She narrowed her eyes.</p><p>Viktor's eyes created an icy cold tone, "Yuuri is <em>nothing</em> like that, he loves me" He pulled me even closer.</p><p>"He better not be anything like that" She looked in my eyes, I was honestly shook to the core, her eyes were like a snake's.</p><p>As Phichit would say, <em>I</em><em> was a Hufflepuff surrounded by Slytherins.</em></p><p>"Hes not even dominating, look at him" Viktor teased.</p><p>"Wow cause my appearance really holds a light to how I am" I argued.</p><p>"I mean you are kinda, housewifey" He giggled nervously.</p><p>"Housewifey?" I scoffed, "I'll remember that" I tapped my head in explanation.</p><p>"I'm just-"</p><p>"No I got it, I got it, I'm a housewife now" I skated off.</p><p>I guess you could say I'm kinda more feminine than Viktor. Actually? Not, he's done a lot more feminine things. I haven't grown my hair out.</p><p>"Yuuuuri! I didn't mean that" He chased after me.</p><p>It didn't really bother me, I just wanted Viktor to get scared that I got mad. It was amusing, and it got my head off of things enough to practice.</p><p>"Yuuri please"</p><p>"How are you gonna make it up to me?" I pondered aloud</p><p>"Kisses"</p><p>"Oh you're gonna have to do more than that" I challenged.</p><p>"Sex?" He pouted.</p><p>"No, not like that" I rolled my eyes.</p><p>"The dishes?"</p><p>"That sounds feasible"</p><p>"Ugh!" He groaned.</p><p>"You put this on yourself" I giggled darkly.</p><p>"Honweyy" He whined.</p><p>"Nope" I chuckled.</p><p>-</p><p>It was the night before the tournament, 6 months passed way faster than I proposed. I was mentally shitting myself, stuck in New York.</p><p>12 hours before tournament, <em>12 hours.</em></p><p>I was flipping out, internally, I wasn't even registering Viktor's orders at all. Sleep he said, as if I could sleep.</p><p>I couldn't even close my eyes without thinking of 20 million things that could happen tomorrow.</p><p>It was a panic attack, I know I was having one, my heartbeat was killing my insides. Drawing a bath was the worst thing I did, now I'm in water thinking about what the hell could happen next.</p><p>What if I slip a jump? What if I don't make it? What if Viktor hates me by the end of this competition? What if we don't love eachother enough to get through this?</p><p>I felt tears fall down my face, I knew these thoughts were irrational. I knew it was stupid, but I couldn't grip myself.</p><p>I screamed lightly into my arm, my eyelids burning in anticipation. Tears masking my face like Niagara Falls. I would be red-tinted all over my face by the time I got out.</p><p>I don't wanna loose him, I love him. I love him so much it hurts.</p><p>I don't wanna give him up. I want to have him forever, cherish him, and be kind to him.</p><p>I dipped my head underwater, and pondered what it would be like to drown right now. Get rid of it all, all these thoughts. I watched a bubble escape my mouth to the top of the leveled water.</p><p>It wasn't suicidal, no, I just want to clear my mind. Get rid of all this, hustle and bustle in my head.</p><p>Something to ignore it, throw it away. That inquired some effort, clearing my damn mind.</p><p>And then it hit me-</p><p>A large grin hit my lips, it wasn't too bad of an idea. I had enough in me to ask for it.</p><p>Plus I was way ready for this, almost 25, and still trapped without a certain knowledge of life.</p><p>I pulled the plug to the tub, getting out I wrapped the towel around my waist.</p><p>I brushed my teeth and splashed my face with cold water.</p><p>I was gonna do it.</p><p>I'm losing my virginity,</p><p><em>Tonight</em>.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 14, Heartbeat (Smut)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I stepped out, it was very rare for me to be out completely naked, well, just a towel.</p><p>"Did you forget something? I could've gotten it for you" Viktor looked at me, his cheeks dusted light pink.</p><p>I looked at my towel hem, tucked around my waist, it was now or never. I had balls, I was gonna do this.</p><p>"Yuuri?" He asked with an acute curiosity.</p><p>I took the hem of my towel and dropped it. I looked down, away from my growing erection.</p><p>"Woah, uh, Yuuri, you didn't-" Viktor covered his eyes. "I get being free or whatever-"</p><p>I crawled on the bed, Eros was powering through me like crazy. I sat in front of Viktor. "I want you" I began, "You said if I ever wanted this, to ask you" I bluntly said, slicking my black hair back.</p><p>"Right now??" He kept his hand covered.</p><p>"Yes, I wanna know, to know this part of me" I admitted.</p><p>"This isn't just because of stress or whatever?" He whined.</p><p>"I mean, partly-" I admitted, "I gotta lot of things on my mind, I just, want it to be silent, and if I can focus on one thing every worry will disappear" I pulled his hand away.</p><p>"You sure about this?" He averted his eyes.</p><p>"I've never been more sure about anything" I sighed.</p><p>"I don't think I could stop-" He sighed, "I want you a lot-" He trailed, "And I've got a kinda high-sex drive" He joked.</p><p>"Me too" I giggled.</p><p>"I love you, Yuuri"</p><p>"I love you" I pulled his jaw in, kissing his soft lips, taking his chaste desire.</p><p>I straddled over him, my tongue softly sliding in his movements. His hands were shaking, he was so terrified to hurt me.</p><p>It felt nice that he cared about me, his hands massaging my sides. I rocked gently against his briefs. Oh, I could feel it, it was so nice to know, I turned '<em>Viktor Nikiforov'</em> on.</p><p>"That was fast" I whispered in his ear, mentioning his hard on. He mumbled something inaudible, moving to my neck, his hands roamed down to my behind, his thrusts matching my rocking.</p><p>"Viktor" I gulped, he flipped me over.</p><p>"Yuuri" He mumbled, kissing at my neck like crazy, his soft fingertips sliding up my torso, he peppered kisses along my jawline before staring into my eyes.</p><p>"You're so beautiful" I chuckled under my breath, cupping his face.</p><p>"No, you're the beautiful one" He mumbled.</p><p>I stared into those pretty ocean eyes, falling into a trance, my fingers instinctively pulling his face back to kiss me.</p><p>His fingertips softly pinched my chest, rhyming between kisses. He gently placed 4 more pecks on my mouth, going back to my neck, kissing my collarbone.</p><p>I looked up at the ceiling, my head empty, focusing on the sensations of my body.</p><p>His lips sucked gently on my nipples, as weird as it was for a man to do that. It felt amazing.</p><p>"Oh" I sighed out, it was more like a moan, this was awkward, when I masturbated, I always had to keep quiet. So, I couldn't let out to every sensation.</p><p>I had to communicate to Viktor what I liked, so moaning was the best option. His hands rubbed my sides, I was shaking, out of fear and anticipation.</p><p>"You okay? Want me to go slower?" Viktor cupped my face, the worry in his face told miles to my trust.</p><p>"No, I'm just excited, a little scared, but, excited" I said softly.</p><p>"Okay" He whispered.</p><p>His lips kissed down my torso, fear hit all the way to my ears. I could feel my pulse beating so loud, it wasn't fast, it was just like a slow beating drum.</p><p>Seconds felt like hours in that short time, his gentle hands spreading my legs apart. I didn't wanna look, because, this was the hardest part, exposing myself to the one I loved.</p><p>He peppered kisses down my knees to my thighs. I was much thinner than I usually am during competition, binge eating, just, didn't appeal to me anymore like it used to. I could rely on someone to express those feelings with.</p><p>I didn't need to rely on food to fill those needs. My eyes slowly blinked down, his mouth kissing my hipbone. I would die of embarrassment if I locked eyes with him now.</p><p>I shouldn't of thought that, he grabbed my hand and brought it to cup his face. His eyes staring right into mine, in a way it was comforting.</p><p>"Are you okay?" He asked, worry tinged in his voice.</p><p>"I'm fine" I mumbled.</p><p>"Is it okay-"</p><p>"Yes, please" I breathed out.</p><p>I felt his tongue drag across my shaft, my heartbeat doubling audibly. It was soft, his tongue and lips. It was so warm, and felt so wonderful.</p><p>"Ah-" I gulped down a sound, his tongue swirling around the head. I made soft noises here and there, letting him know what worked and what didn't.</p><p>"Yuuri, do you want me to deepthroat?" He giggled awkwardly.</p><p>"Uh, sure" I mumbled, sitting up a little against the pillows.</p><p>I was watching now, and it turned me on doubly. His soft pale skin, white silver locks gently swaying with each bob of his head. I was silent, but shaking.</p><p>I was so mesmerized by him, I couldn't even focus on moaning, I was building orgasm. My hand wrapped around his head, forcing a rythm I liked.</p><p>"Fuck" I moaned, throwing my head back, I couldn't control my thrusts. I was gonna cum, I was so close.</p><p>"Viktor, I'm gonna, so-" I mumbled, "Take it off" I mentioned, but, he kept going, his tongue gently making squelched sounds as he pulled his head.</p><p>"Seriously-" My jaw dropped, letting out a large groan, my toes curled around his back.</p><p>All I could see is white for a minute, before coming back to reality. I was blissed out.</p><p>"Woah" Viktor laughed, I looked down at him, his mouth dribbled in my cum.</p><p>"I'm sorry" I got up and grabbed a tissue.</p><p>"What are you doing?" Viktor lifted a brow, stopping me.</p><p>"Cleaning up your face" I awkwardly said.</p><p>"Why? It tastes good" He smirked.</p><p>I gulped, my face like lava. I watched him lick the rest from his lips, I couldn't handle that. His face and hair looked wrecked, and in a good way.</p><p>"You sure have got the stamina" Viktor's finger softly went up my shaft, the sensation poking needles down my spine.</p><p>"I-"</p><p>"Would you like me to make love to you now?" Viktor whispered in my ear, hand stopped at my entrance.</p><p>"Yes" I mumbled.</p><p>"I need a clear answer, no mumbling" He kissed my jawline.</p><p>"Yes, I want you" I said clearly.</p><p>"Alright" He kissed me, hand going towards the drawer.</p><p>"Did you bring lube?" I mumbled.</p><p>"I always have lube and some condoms on hand" He mentioned.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Oh, I bring toys and stuff, and sometimes when I masturbate, I like to have condoms so I don't make a mess" He chuckled wearily.</p><p>"Oh" I nodded understanding, looking at him slowly put the lube on his fingers.</p><p>"Did you prep?" Viktor asked.</p><p>"What?" I asked awkwardly.</p><p>"Did you clear, you know?" He pointed to my hole.</p><p>"I did?" I questioned, I did not know much about gay sex, or what he was even asking.</p><p>"This is going to be very awkward to ask" He sighed, "Before you went into the tub, did you go to the bathroom?"</p><p>"Yeah? How would I go to the tub if I wasn't in the bathroom?"</p><p>"Oh my god" He face-palmed, "Yuuri, I'm asking if you used the toilet, cause if you didn't, it's very dangerous for us to have sex" He said.</p><p>My eyes widened and my whole face lit up in embarrassment, "Yes, I did, I went to the bathroom, everything's clear" I mumbled, I felt so dumb.</p><p>"Okay" He kissed me, "Dont worry, I didn't know much about sex either, until..." He shook his head from his thoughts.</p><p>"I trust you, Viktor" I cupped his face, he sighed gently.</p><p>"I need you to relax, if you tense up, it'll hurt" He kissed my cheek before backing up, taking my thigh in his hand.</p><p>His fingers felt cold, I sighed out gently, relaxing, staring in Viktor's eyes. He kissed me gently, probably to distract me from his finger entering. I never really fingered myself, it never felt that good enough.</p><p>But, him even taking attention to me like this was a turn on in itself. I focused on the movements inside me, even though his goal was to loosen me up.</p><p>Sounded weird, but I have no clue how big Viktor is, plus, I've only glanced at it non-erect. Anything could go.</p><p>"I'm gonna add another two fingers alright?" He kissed my cheek, rubbing my hips to calm my senses.</p><p>I felt another finger slip in, it stretched a little, but overall felt okay. His fingers scissored inside me, trying to pull out anymore space it could. I felt weird, but in a good way.</p><p>He pushed in the last finger, waiting for me to get used to it. Viktor wasn't focused on pleasure really, more on my safety. But now that I was used to the three fingers, he was definitely working to find a spot.</p><p>"Viktor, just, put it in" I giggled.</p><p>"You're still tense" He pouted, "It'll hurt" He kissed my cheek.</p><p>"I don't care" I looked him in the eyes.</p><p>"Alright" He gently laid his head on my forehead, sighing out.</p><p>He pulled down his underwear, kissing my lips gently as he could. I think he was trying to distract me from seeing.</p><p>His hand squeezing the bottle on his hand. I saw it go down his torso, probably to spread it on himself.</p><p>I pushed him gently up to see, his kisses kept distracting me, "I wanna see" I mumbled.</p><p>"I dont want you to tense up" He looked me in the eyes. "I'll let you see when its in" He pondered out like a promise.</p><p>"Okay" I breathed out.</p><p>"Are you ready?" He asked, cupping my face lovingly.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm ready" I said clearly.</p><p>"If you ever want to stop, tell me" He pecked a soft kiss on my lips.</p><p>"I will" I pulled him down, although, I don't think I'd ever want to stop. I felt him placed outside my entrance.</p><p>I braced myself, calmly, he kissed me deeply, holding my leg up, his other hand balancing himself up. He pushed in slowly, it didn't feel bad, just, pressured.</p><p>I didn't realize how little that was compared to the rest. It wasn't painful, but uncomfortable, I tried not to tense, but it was hard.</p><p>"Half way there, my love" He kissed my temple.</p><p>"Half?" I mumbled, shock in my tone.</p><p>"Sorry" He chuckled gently, "I promise I'll go slow" He mumbled.</p><p>"No it's fine, I'm just, you're really big" I giggled, awkwardly.</p><p>"Sorry, I-"</p><p>"Don't apologize" I pulled him down into another soft makeout session, his hips finally bottoming out into me.</p><p>"Are you okay?" He asked.</p><p>"Yes" I teared up a little.</p><p>"You're crying" He worried, wiping my tears.</p><p>"I'm just, happy" I giggled, wrapping my arms around his neck.</p><p>He teared up too, drops of tears falling on my cheeks from him. "I love you Yuuri" He sniffed.</p><p>"Please don't cry, that's my job" I wiped his tears, caressing his face with my palm.</p><p>"I don't like you crying either" He mumbled, kissing my palm.</p><p>I hummed in response, taking in the moment, relaxing to the feeling. I felt full, but in a good way, the weight of my love on top of me made butterflies spill in my stomach.</p><p>"Can I move?" He asked.</p><p>"Yes" I answered, his hips slowly moved back and then forward, saying it didn't hurt would be a lie, but, I needed to get used to this.</p><p>"Does it hurt?" He asked.</p><p>"Uncomfortable, but not painful" I lied.</p><p>"Okay" He kissed my cheek, nuzzling into my neck.</p><p>I didn't get really how this felt so good, was your first supposed to be this awkward? I'm overfilled with emotions, and I'm so happy this is happening, but-</p><p>"Oh" I moaned loudly, that's where it felt good.</p><p>It felt like an electric shock down my spine, but in a good kinda way. I was out of breath, it took all the air from my lungs. Viktor gently lifted up and grabbed both my thighs.</p><p>"I'm still gonna go slow okay?" He reassured me.</p><p>"Okay" I mumbled gently, looking down between us.</p><p>Viktor's pace was jagged, probably due to lack of experience, but he kept hitting that spot.</p><p>And, oh, I sounded like a broken animal. I wanted him to go faster, hold me, fill me-</p><p>"Yuuri, does it feel good?" He asked, grabbing my dick with his fingers, softly pumping.</p><p>"Yes, please, just-" I choked on a loud moan, "Faster" I begged, his eyes widened.</p><p>"Alright" He adjusted himself gently, holding onto my thighs more tightly.</p><p>"I love you" I blissfully said, a small smirk raised on his lips.</p><p>"I love you too" He said, gently starting up the pace.</p><p>I could hear the wet slaps that echoed the room, my moans becoming far more intense. And the creak of the bed, Viktor's focused face, the feelings I was encountering. Some would say it's too much, but, I truly, couldn't get enough of it.</p><p>"Viktor" I gulped, calling out his name.</p><p>"Yuuri" I heard in return, his pace getting more desperate.</p><p>"Please, cum-" I gulped on more yelps, "I want it inside me" I mumbled.</p><p>"Okay" He slumped over me, forehead on mine. I was so sweaty that I'd need another bath. It was nice having him this close.</p><p>"Vik-" I started, being kissed roughly by him. I moaned and whined inside his mouth, the soft pecks waving my orgasm to approach even quicker.</p><p>"Yuuri I can't, I'm-" Viktor's pace heightened in speed, but abused that spot inside me.</p><p>"Viktor" I kissed his neck, my toes curling, and my back arching, lightning needling down my spine.</p><p>So, this is what it felt like, to really have an orgasm, as awkward as this started, it felt amazing.</p><p>I screamed gently on his lips, holding him as close as I could, sighing to myself out after releasing. His pace eroded as he slammed into me one last time. It felt warm, soft, gentle and caring.</p><p>"Yuuri?" He asked, panting on my chest.</p><p>"Hmm?" I hummed gently to his mention.</p><p>"Was it good?"</p><p>I laughed like a lunatic, "Viktor, you were amazing" I said, husky.</p><p>"Good" He giggled, sliding off of me.</p><p>"But I'm sticky" I gestured.</p><p>"We could take a bath together" He kissed my cheek.</p><p>"Alright, but, I need to take a break" I breathed.</p><p>"Me too" He wrapped his arms around me.</p><p>Our heavy breathing becoming shallow, and calm, and in that moment,</p><p>All I could hear was his-</p><p>
  <em>Heartbeat</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 15, Steps</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My hips hurt, but, not that bad. There was a glass of water along with a sweet note to me from Viktor.</p><p>I sighed gently and got up. He said he'd be back from the store by 10, it was 9.</p><p>4 Hours to the tournament, and I felt,</p><p>
  <em>Clear</em>
</p><p>No nerves, no thoughts, I got up gently, walking over to the bathroom, I stared in the mirror.</p><p>My neck was splotched up and down with 'love marks' and I'd have to cover them before the training today. And, honestly didn't know how to do that.</p><p>My mind kept reeling about last night, the way his touch felt, how soft his lips were, how I was so loud.</p><p>It was embarrassing-</p><p>But, I loved it. I loved him so much, words couldn't describe how much I did. I sat down on the toilet, lost in my upcoming abundant thoughts.</p><p>Today I'd have to go up against him, face 'Viktor Nikiforov' on the ice. The last time I did that, I was a complete failure-</p><p>
  <em>A failure to Celestino </em>
  <em>and</em>
  <em> myself.</em>
</p><p>My actions used to reflect Viktor, but, not much considering he's practically showcasing himself this time; I have nothing to worry about.</p><p>I used to be so scared, scared to admit everything. To admit, I'm in love, amazing at skating, and I'm getting married to my biggest idol.</p><p>Sometimes, I don't feel good enough, but, I wasn't feeling that today. I know, I'm good enough, I know that, deep down, with the utmost vulnerability, I trust Viktor.</p><p>
  <em>It's scary...</em>
</p><p>But I love him, I wouldn't be here without him. Every future thought I've had, has been about us.</p><p>There's nothing without us-</p><p>I imagine a nice house, with kids, with lots of welcome home kisses. A domestic life with Viktor sounds ideal. Anything with him sounds ideal, really.</p><p>He's my true ideal life, right now might be temporary, but I'll enjoy it. I'll enjoy just being 'Katsuki' a famous Japanese skater. It's just a little bit, but soon I'll get to be-</p><p>Just-</p><p>"Yuuri?" Viktor's head popped in. "You okay?"</p><p>"Yeah- I-"</p><p>"Do your hips hurt?" He came in very worried. "I tried to be gentle"</p><p>"They're just, sore, you didn't hurt me" I sighed out.</p><p>"Are you sure? I know, that when I-" He paused, slowly thinking something out.</p><p>"Viktor, you were gentle" I mentioned, "It actually was really nice, I barely hurt, and I knew what I was chancing last night with the tournament and all"</p><p>"I thought-"</p><p>"You thought what?"</p><p>"I thought you'd be bleeding or, something, but you-"</p><p>"You also-" I bit my lip to say it, "Viktor, you didn't rape me, so of course I'm not hurting" I really shouldn't have said that, but I did.</p><p>"Oh, yeah, you're right" He looked away.</p><p>"Viktor, I'm glad-"</p><p>"About what?" He snapped.</p><p>I jumped a little, "I'm just-" I paused. "I'm glad that I was your first, at least consensually, I'm sorry" I saddened.</p><p>He relaxed, "I'm sorry for snapping" He sighed out. "I'm just, I'm scared" He admitted.</p><p>I stood up and hugged him, "I'm never going to hurt you" I whispered.</p><p>"I know" He was shaking in my arms, tears seeping down his face, "I don't like showing this s-side of-"</p><p>"I love all of you Viktor, even the faults" I kissed his cheek, cupping his face to wipe his tears with my thumbs.</p><p>"I love you too, Yuuri" He sniffled.</p><p>I hugged him so softly, gently running my fingers through his hair and caressing his back.</p><p>"Its gonna be okay" I kissed his temple.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I keep having these meltdowns, they must be tiring for you" He mumbled.</p><p>"Viktor, you have dealt with all of my panic attacks, plus more" I kissed his cheek, "This is nothing I can't handle"</p><p>"Is it stressful?"</p><p>"Of course it's stressful, the person I most love is hurting" I looked him in his teary eyes.</p><p>He just nuzzled back into my neck, gently pressing kisses as he went. "Thank you" His lips met my cheek.</p><p>"You're welcome" I pulled his sad face into a gentle kiss.</p><p>He coursely chuckled out of nowhere, really catching me off guard.</p><p>"What?" I asked, giggling myself a little bit.</p><p>"So, I was good?" He held back a laugh.</p><p>I playfully hit him, "Shut up!" I chuckled.</p><p>"No, tell me" He peppered kisses on my cheeks. "I wanna know, was I good?"</p><p>I felt fire in my cheeks, "I won't tell you" My face grinned brightly.</p><p>"Tell me!" He kissed my neck up and down.</p><p>"No"</p><p>"If you love me you'll tell me"</p><p>I gulped a bit, "Yes, you were very good" My sigh erupted from my lungs.</p><p>"What did you like the most?"</p><p>"The marks" I embarrassingly looked away.</p><p>"Oh?" He smirked.</p><p>"I-I don't know, they just-" I looked around, "They make me feel like you want me to be yours, and... Nobody else could take that place" I stared at the tile on the floor.</p><p>"You're so cute" He kissed my lips gently. "You wanna know my favorite part?"</p><p>"Sure" I mumbled.</p><p>"All the times you said you loved me throughout it" He hugged me close. "It made me feel cared for, I guess"</p><p>I dug my face into his neck, "I liked that part too"</p><p>The pause between us was long, but sometimes you need to just stand there and hug. Viktor sometimes felt unreal, how pretty he was, graceful, his body was very lithe despite being almost 29, his arms felt so light. But, his chest was so heavy, with a flittering heartbeat.</p><p>"I-" His tongue dry, "I bought some donuts and some breakfast from the store"</p><p>"Then let's go eat" I smooched his cheek.</p><p>-</p><p>Me and Viktor arrived at the New York rink, 2 hours before the tournament. I couldn't just keep my mind off of everything.</p><p>My throat was dry, my heart was beating in my head, every voice was inaudible. All I could hear was the click of skates, ice being torn.</p><p>I was only this nervous because of Viktor. All of the thoughts surrounding him, and the inevitable thought of having to compete against him.</p><p>"Finally you're back on ze ice" I heard Chris, waving the audio of his voice with my heightened anxiety.</p><p>"Don't get to hasty now, Yuuri is just as good of a-" I couldn't hear his voice.</p><p>I pulled my shirt off, opening the duffle bag. I didn't think to keep my undershirt on.</p><p>"Oh" Chris practically moaned with one of those cat call whistles.</p><p>"What?" I snapped out of my trance, the entire lockeroom staring at me. I was so confused, why was everyone staring?</p><p>"Well, Well, Viktor you must've had a great time last night" JJ teased.</p><p>It hit me,</p><p>
  <em>T</em>
  <em>he marks-</em>
</p><p>I was burning up to my ears, fumbling with the bag as fast as I could to put my training shirt on.</p><p>Viktor sighed gently, and tore off his shirt, the whole lockeroom's audio tripled.</p><p>I looked up, his back had scratches in the obvious position they could be in. I had done that?</p><p>"Well, Yuuri looks like zis little devil couldn't keep his hands off of you" Chris chuckled.</p><p>"Actually it was the other way around, he came onto me" Viktor argued.</p><p>"Looks like zat Eros really paid off" He laughed.</p><p>I felt so embarrassed, and a little peeved at Viktor for saying that aloud. It was private, until I blew it.</p><p>I threw the shirt on, quickly undressing my pants to put on tights. I shoved my duffle bag into the locker, and closed it so quick it slammed.</p><p>I walked out to the rink and tied my skates on, getting to the rink as soon as I could to hide my embarrassment.</p><p>I worked on doubles first, the embarrassing thing playing in my head over and over.</p><p>I needed to focus, find light in the situation at hand.</p><p>"Yuuri, stop!" I heard loudly.</p><p>"Why are you yelling at me?" I asked Viktor breathlessly.</p><p>"Because you didn't respond the first, 5 times!" He worriedly held my hand.</p><p>"I'm just-"</p><p>"Having an obvious panic attack?" He argued.</p><p>"I'm sorry"</p><p>"Its nothing to apologize about" He pinched his temple, "I should be sorry, I told Chris before this at the market, and you know how he is-"</p><p>"Thats not it" I mumbled back.</p><p>"Then what is it?"</p><p>"I'm just worried that, that-" I paused, "Competing against you, will ruin our relationship"</p><p>"Yuuri I already stated that I could never be mad at you for that" He rubbed my hand with his thumbs.</p><p>"You don't know that"</p><p>"I do Yuuri, I truly do know"</p><p>"I just-" I looked away, "I feel inferior to you, like, I'm supposed to let you win" I mentioned.</p><p>"Yuuri, you are just as good of a skater as me, an I hate that you don't see that" He lifted my chin.</p><p>"I'll try to see it-"</p><p>-</p><p>"And up next we have former Barcelona silver medalist, Yuuri Katsuki approaching the ice" The intercom blared.</p><p>I breathed in, chastising the moment clearly. I had to do this, 6 quads wasn't so bad, it could be worse.</p><p>"He is skating-" I let all the voices drown out. <em>Vita </em>means life, a charity, a voice.</p><p>I thought a lot about what life means to me, in my head I could only think of one story.</p><p>I didn't like life much before meeting Viktor, I wouldn't say it was horrible. But, I got bullied, picked on, outed by the group. I guess in a way, it made me have a thick skin.</p><p>But, my skin wasn't thick enough for my biggest failure as a skater in the beginning of my career. Now I can't even imagine flunking all of those jumps. I'm not nervous, I'm just, scared.</p><p>I want my life to consist of Viktor, marriage, kids, I wanna grow old together. I wanna look passed all the wrinkles, and scars.</p><p>Anything could happen, and I would still be happy as long as it was him.</p><p>
  <em>God to be with him-</em>
</p><p>I stepped out of a toe loop, but I knew that it wouldn't cost much.</p><p>My head snapped back into reality, turning my head to see Viktor, a smile spread across his face as his glittery costume peaked out of the Russian competition jacket.</p><p>I skated off of the rink and hugged him close. Those soft breaths tickling my ears as he caressed my back.</p><p>"You were amazing" He pulled back, I could read the desperation in his eyes. I could tell just by him looking at me that he was so in love with me.</p><p>I couldn't help but feel the same.</p><p>"Thank you" I kissed his cheek, we walked gently together to interviews, his hand placed gently on my lower back, cause he knew how much I loved that.</p><p>I sat on the bench waiting for the intercom and judges to announce my scoring.</p><p>"112.89, that puts Yuuri Katsuki at number 1-"</p><p>"Its better than your first one with me" He teased.</p><p>Our eyes locking together for a split second before-</p><p>"Yuuri Yuuri!" The amount of flashes killed the entire mood.</p><p>"What was your inspiration for this years program??"</p><p>"I just thought that, life had a lot of meaning-"</p><p>"Yuuri! You said in your last year's interview that your theme was love, changing this year to life, what exactly does that mean for your relationship?"</p><p>"I just, wanna think about the future?"</p><p>"Yuuri, some say your costume is supposed to represent a wedding dress? is this accurate?"</p><p>I paused-</p><p>-</p><p>"Don't you think this is too feminine?" I mentioned to the costume.</p><p>"Not at all, it's perfect" Viktor smiled gently.</p><p>The performance outfit Viktor had picked out was the exact opposite of Eros, it's white, with a laced front, and fake fabric roses are placed on my shoulders.</p><p>It looked honestly gorgeous but for a female skater. "I don't think I can pull this off"</p><p>"Honey, you can pull off anything if you set your mind to it" He joked.</p><p>"Doesn't it look like a wedding dress?"</p><p>"Of course, thats the point"</p><p>"Life isn't about weddings"</p><p>"Well, life is usually created around weddings, and, when you're in love, you spend your whole life together after a wedding, so its only fitting-"</p><p>"Is this your way of saying you're going to marry me after this??"</p><p>"Maybe-"</p><p>-</p><p>"Yes, it was Viktor's idea" I looked up at him.</p><p>"Mr Nikiforov, how are you handling coaching and skating together?"</p><p>"Its going okay-" Viktor looked up at the lineup, realizing he was next, quickly getting up.</p><p>"Hey!" I pulled his arm, bringing him into a quick kiss, "Do good out there okay?" I set a soft peck on his cheek.</p><p>"Okay" He smiled warmly, letting go to get onto the ice.</p><p>"And next we have skating legend Viktor Nikiforov! Back to the ice again after coaching his now, fiancé-" The announcer started.</p><p>"He's won 5 gold medals in his past,  hoping this comeback will be an epic performance, awaiting a 6th metal" The intercom blared loudly.</p><p>I exhaled gently, a smirk seeping on my lips as I realized Viktor was looking straight at me, "Dummy" I muttered to myself.</p><p>"He will be performing, <em>Amos</em> choreographed by himself under his coach Yakov" The intercom grew silent as the music started.</p><p>His outfit was gold and black, with a tuxedo feel to it, amazingly his skates glittered and shined through the lights as he moved. I was leaning against my seat, mesmerized by every movement followed by every expression.</p><p>The music made the audience silent. I was so struck by awe I couldn't even speak myself. His quads were flawless, combination spins were amazing, pure love spilled throughout the rink out of his tiny actions.</p><p><em>Amos</em> is Agape and Eros combined, and Viktor pulled off both. It was like him to be that way. He was, after all, good at love.</p><p>Out of anybody here, I could tell, that this was the true Viktor. A saddned tone exerted from the movements he protrayed; probably because of his past.</p><p>A past I would try to mend, I'm so glad he's mine. I keep telling myself that I'd never hurt him, cause I'm terrified of doing so.</p><p>"What a performance from the legend himself, let's see what the judges have to say-" I ran to the kiss and cry, the flashes following me as I dashed.</p><p>"Yuuri-" Viktor smiled, I smirked gently and lept into his arms. "Woah-" He fell, right in-between the railing, I giggled softly.</p><p>"I thought I'd return the favor" I lifted his chin up for a deep smooch.</p><p>"Its not quite on the ice-" He argued, pulling me into another peck.</p><p>"I tried" I bit my lip, getting up from him as I lent a hand.</p><p>"It was very sweet of you" He walked over to the benches. Yakov, wasn't here, and was attending the Lodon competition for Yurio and Georgi, so I guess I could say I was Viktor's stand-in coach.</p><p>The news stationed spiraled around Viktor like vultures to fresh meat. The questions were haggled left and right.</p><p>"Viktor Nikiforov's score is 115.43 beating the world record set by Yuri Plisetsky" The judges put out.</p><p>"Well, that was easy" Viktor giggled gently to himself, wrapping his arm around me.</p><p>"Mr. Nikiforov, tell me, what was the main reason you came back to the ice?"</p><p>"I just, found the pieces I was lacking-"</p><p>"By pieces do you mean your fiance?"</p><p>"Well, parcially" His arm caressed my back gently.</p><p>"Yuuri Katsuki! If I'm correct you and Viktor sighed up for the pair skating but got denied, do you consider it a hate crime against the LGBTQ community?"<br/>The American asked me, I bit my nail.</p><p>I had to be careful to controversial questions like this, thinking was important, "No, not really, I think the world just isn't ready to accept gay love, and that's okay" I paused.</p><p>"Me and Viktor don't expect all people to accept us, we just want you to enjoy our performances and not worry about who we love" I said to the microphone.</p><p>"Many do consider it a hate crime in countries that have legalized it, how does that make you feel?" The woman asked.</p><p>"I have no opinion on other's choices"<br/>I said, they weren't dropping it, and Viktor was busy with Russian stations.</p><p>"Japan is not legally accepted of gay marriage how do you intend to marry Viktor Nikiforov?" A Japanese news station asked, I sighed at the negative comment.</p><p>"I have American Citizenship, and intend to marry him there, we can have a private wedding in Japan possibly"<br/>I answered, short but sweet.</p><p>Viktor looked a little shocked also at the Russian stations. It was a matter of time before stuff like this would occur, I knew deep down that-</p><p>We just couldn't-</p><p>
  <em>Escape from this.</em>
</p><p>-</p><p>Of course a goodnight's rest would be great if I got my mind off of problems. You see the thing is, my mind decided tonight that I'd have an anxiety attack.</p><p>I try to hide the worst of them from Viktor, but tonight something is off. I'm shaking, but there's nothing wrong, absolutely nothing. The shaking will become noticeable if I don't calm down.</p><p>But I can't, and crying isn't helping either, luckily he can't hear it through the shower and singing, I'm not sobbing and I'm not tearing up, just crying, and it won't stop.</p><p>I've tried to wrap myself in a blanket and cry through there, in my pillow but I'm still audible.</p><p>The curtains make a racket as the shower stops, my crying unbearably loud, as I try to cover my mouth and hide under the blankets as if I'm sleeping.</p><p>The bathroom door opens, and my pillow is soaking from crying. I hear the zip of his suitcase and then the closing of the bathroom door again. I couldn't stop the noises, they kept peeping from my mouth. So I just let myself cry straight in the pillow, muffling as much as I could.</p><p>"Yuuri?" Viktor asked lifting the blankets, I grabbed them back turning to see him in his normal robe. "Are you okay?" He asked pulling down the blanket from my face.</p><p>"Yuuri, Honey, what's going on?"<br/>He asked me pulling me up into a tight hug.</p><p>"Oh my god you're shaking! Yuuri!"<br/>He freaked out, I started sobbing in his shoulder.</p><p>"What's wrong Yuuri?! Did someone hurt you!? Are you hurt in any way?!"<br/>He started examining me, I shook my head.</p><p>"Its just a-n a-anxiety a-attack"<br/>I stuttered, he looked at me with worried eyes.</p><p>"Yuuri, why are you having an anxiety attack?" He cupped my face, my tears intensified.</p><p>"I don't k-know! I-I just feel somethings w-wrong but I-It's not..." I sobbed, Viktor's eyes widened.</p><p>"Then why don't you just calm down if there's nothing wrong?" He said, I tensed on his shoulder.</p><p>"Because A-Anxiety doesn't w-work that way V-Viktor!" I snapped loudly, he jumped slightly, shocked.</p><p>"I'm sorry, y-you wouldn't understand..." I hugged around him tightly, sniffling in his chest.</p><p>"I don't know what to do... I've only had these for specific reasons" He whispered, petting my head slightly.</p><p>"Just tell me ev-everything's a-alright..."<br/>I hugged tighter.</p><p>"Everything's a-alright" He confusedly said, wrapping his arms around me.</p><p>"K-Keep s-saying it" I whispered.</p><p>He kept saying it, with kisses and hugs throughout, for 3 hours straight until 1am when I finally stopped. He finally saw my anxiety, and took it well, he even stayed awake till I calmed down and went to sleep. By the end of the night, his robe was soaked with tears after I finally fell to bed.</p><p>I woke up in his chest, his arms were wrapped around me, his chin resting on my head. Heat rose to my cheeks, struggling off of him to get up, I grabbed my glasses and looked around.</p><p>I put on my clothes and pecked him on the lips before I got out, taking the elevator downstairs. The hotel we're staying in serves free breakfast, it's not really free, it comes in your check for staying there, regardless if you get any or not.</p><p>Anyways, I got some breakfast for me and Viktor going back upstairs in the elevator. He was still asleep as I put down the two paper plates filled with waffles and other breakfast sides, eating up my plate as I scrolled Instagram.</p><p>"Yuuri?" Viktor cracked sitting up, I smiled and handed him his plate.</p><p>"I got breakfast for you..." I said, he stared down at the plate and rubbed his eyes.</p><p>"Thank you" He ate a piece of bacon.</p><p>"You're welcome" I said, eating more.</p><p>"Are you okay?" He worriedly looked at me, I smiled and pecked him on the lips.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm fine now" I said, he kissed my forehead.</p><p>"Good, it was scary seeing you like that"<br/>He caressed my cheek.</p><p>"I'm sorry"</p><p>"Its nothing to apologize about-" He grabbed my hand, "You're there for me when I have attacks, so its only fair"</p><p>"I guess so" I mumbled, kissing Viktor gently on his lips.</p><p>He set aside his dish, his hands traveling down my backside. "Is it okay?"</p><p>"Okay for what?" I asked.</p><p>"I want you, is that selfish?" He looked in my eyes.</p><p>"Did you just ask if it was selfish if you wanted me?" I laughed.</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"I should be asking that question" I pecked his lips.</p><p>"Still, can I have you?" He caressed my cheek.</p><p>"Yes" My cheeks burned.</p><p>-</p><p>Hours later and I'm here in the stadium locker room dressing for my next performance.</p><p>I think I better get into detail about the Free Skate performance me and Viktor are doing. I was generally surprised at the subjects of both of the Free Skates.</p><p>His theme picked for me is called <em>Odium</em>, he's got an obsession with Latin words I swear-</p><p>It means hate, and I have a huge problem on finding what I hate, there's literally nothing right now that I despise.</p><p>I mean, I'm going to get married soon, my family supports me, and Viktor loves me. I have the thought of kids in the next several years or so, and I didn't mess up my last performance.</p><p>So what is there to hate? I mean the only thing I don't like is the fact that we can't be legally married in either of our countries, but I don't hate it.</p><p>I dislike the fact that Japan is against it yet there's fucking yaoi everywhere. Seriously, the decent thing you could do is make it legal if you're gonna distribute porn of it.</p><p>Whatever, it's not something I hate, I just dislike it or maybe, I hate it.</p><p>
  <em>God, why did Viktor get the easy one! </em>
</p><p><em>Decessus</em> is depressing! I'm depressing! He couldn't of just switched the two? Element of Surprise my ass, I'm tired of surprising an audience that doesn't care what I skate!</p><p>
  <em>Ugh, Kill myself!</em>
</p><p>"Yuuri? Are you okay?" Christophe asked.</p><p>"Fine!" I snapped loudly.</p><p>"He's getting into character" I heard Viktor whisper as I glanced a pissed look at him.</p><p>"Maybe a little too into character-" He jumped with Chris.</p><p>"Sorry" I sighed and smiled.</p><p>"Nooooo...go back to pissed fiancé, you were finally feeling the program" Viktor whined.</p><p>"I can't save my character for later?" I chuckled, he smiled and walked over to me, pulling my hips toward him.</p><p>"I suppose that's acceptable" He lidded his sparkling blue eyes, his flirty side taking ahold of him.</p><p>"Viktor, stop! You're teasing too much!"<br/>I whined, he didn't listen though, his soft lips were already on mine.</p><p>"I thought you liked teasing? You didn't complain this morning" He whined, my face heating up.</p><p>"Do I need to give you two some privacy?" Chris chuckled, I sighed and pushed Viktor off slightly.</p><p>"You're up next, let's go" I turned toward the exit to the hallway, going out. Viktor followed behind me, I heard him mumbling things under his breath slightly as we made our way to the waiting area. I stopped and turned towards him.</p><p>"What are you mumbling?" I asked, He smiled and came close to my ear.</p><p>"I was mumbling about how beautiful you are when you're nervous" He whispered in my ear, my heat in my face doubling.</p><p>"I-"</p><p>"And how couldn't possibly wait to get married to my goddess on ice" He kissed my cheek, I giggled softly, not because it was funny but because It was so sweet.</p><p>He took off his guards and got to the other side of the edge, where the ice was.</p><p>"If I'm your goddess then you're my god" I caressed his cheek, and kissed his lips, "Forever-" I whispered the last part.</p><p>"Yuuri, the intercom.." He backed away slightly, I pulled him by his face and kissed him sweetly.</p><p>"Good luck" I smiled as I let him go to the audience.</p><p>The ice is my sanctuary, and my home is my love. When home and sanctuary come together, nothing beats that.</p><p>I may have given him away to the audience, and to the ice, but red strings attached I can still pull him back to me. Even if I envy a cold piece of water, it shouldn't affect me. I wonder what he thinks on the ice while he's out there.</p><p>Sometimes,</p><p>
  <em>I hope its me-</em>
</p><p>He perfectly performed his program, quad jumps and all. When he stopped, it shocked me when he fell down to the ice after he finished a perfect Free Skate. I waited at the kiss and cry, watching him get up and wobbly skate to the exit.</p><p>He was crying, and, that isn't like Viktor, "Are you okay?" I cupped his face, wiping his tears with my thumbs.</p><p>"I-I got too into the p-program.." He sighed, I confusedly looked at him.</p><p>"What do you mean?" I asked, caressing his cheek.</p><p>"Never mind you're next-" He pursed his lips together and kissed my cheek, walking away to the news stations.</p><p>I confusedly made my way to the middle of the rink. I filled my head with hated thoughts so I could feel the intensity of the music when it started.</p><p>It wasn't the greatest performance especially with the worry of Viktor on my mind.</p><p>I flunked a spin, so I made up for it by turning a triple axel into a quad. When I finished, I immediately put on my guards, running to the seating area where he was at.</p><p>"Viktor? What happened on the ice?"<br/>I quickly asked, I sighed as the news stations trampled for questions.</p><p>"I told you, I just felt the program too much" He carelessly looked away.</p><p>"That's all?" I asked, he smiled that dammed fake heart shaped smile.</p><p>"I'm fine Yuuri!" He shook it it off</p><p>
  <em>Fine my ass.</em>
</p><p>I turned toward the stations for their questions. Unless Viktor brings it up again, I'm not gonna question what happened. He probably just got too emotional from 1 year off the ice and it got to him.</p><p>Either way, it was time to separate. I had won silver, Christophe won bronze, and Viktor of course won gold.</p><p>I didn't want to leave him, but I knew I had to. We went all the way back to Hatsetsu and stayed there a while, before I had to leave first since my flight was longer than him going to Shanghai in China.</p><p>It was the morning or whatever that I had to leave, luckily Phichit was going to be there too. So, I wouldn't be alone and I had someone to hang out with.</p><p>I packed my things and Viktor drove me to the station to travel to Tokyo from Nagasaki, and then to Barcelona.</p><p>I kinda started tearing up, getting out of the car and getting my suitcase. I wouldn't see Viktor for more than a week.</p><p>We sat down in silence in the waiting area, the only noise was my sniffing and the sound of nearby dings for boarding.</p><p>"Yuuri" Viktor cracked as I held to his jacket tighter. "You'll be fine, It's just one week" He kissed my head, I sighed in his shirt, nuzzling into his chest.</p><p>"But I'll b-be without y-you" I felt a tear fall down my face, as I held him tighter.</p><p>"I know you'll be, but I will too, so promise me you'll win the podium my love" He ran his fingers through my hair, the ding came on the ramp, and my flight was being boarded.</p><p>I gripped Viktor's coat tighter, crying into it. "Promise me Yuuri, I love you"<br/>He kissed my lips lightly.</p><p>"I-I promise..." I gulped down tears, he pulled my hands away and kissed me deeply, entwining our fingers.</p><p>"Goodbye Yuuri" He hugged me tightly, I sighed and sobbed in his chest.</p><p>"B-Bye Viktor, promise me to make the audience happier t-than ever..." I cried and kissed him for the last time.</p><p>"I promise Yuuri!" He raised his voice as I heard the wheels on my suitcase click to the leveled ramp.</p><p>"I love you" I whispered, looking down the ramp.</p><p>I finally found my seat, sitting down, I shouldn't be this emotional about this. It was only a week, but, the last time this happened, I could barely keep my spot.</p><p>I guess thats what scared me the most was not making it. But I know there's no way that would happen, not in my dreams.</p><p>I was winning this for him.</p><p>
  <em>At all costs-</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 16, Retirement</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>I looked at my phone, the time on the top reflecting my thoughts.</p><p>I looked at the airport around me, a flood of memories came in.</p><p>The only difference is-</p><p><em>He's</em> <em> not here</em></p><p>I remember what feels like yesterday leaving this place a different person. A new look on life, a gold band around my right finger, and a silver medal around my neck. In that moment, for the first time in my life, I felt like somebody.</p><p>Viktor made me feel like somebody. Even without him here I can believe in myself. I know what I'm worth, and if I mean something to the one of the greatest ice skaters in history. I have to mean something right?</p><p>"Yuuri!"</p><p>I turned my head to see Phichit with a scarf. I jostled my engagement band, playing with it around my finger as my best friend ran towards me.</p><p>Phichit wrapped me in the biggest hug ever. "I'm so glad to see you, haven't since, well, actually, here to be exact" His giggle surrounded my thoughts.</p><p>"You're nervous, I can tell" He pointed to my fidgeting.</p><p>"It's just... "</p><p>"Viktor? I get it"</p><p>"Yeah, I'm gonna be a wreck without him" I sighed.</p><p>"Well, Celestino's at the hotel, he knows your whole deal" He referenced.</p><p>"I know, I just, since China I haven't really talked to him, I feel like I've betrayed him somehow, being under Viktor and Yakov with everything"</p><p>Phichit laughed, "It's actually the opposite of what you think, he's more proud than anything" He put a hand on my shoulder, "He understands that he couldn't break those barriers"</p><p>"I know" Phichit mentions my mental illnesses as barriers, it helps me feel normal <em>slightly</em>.</p><p>We headed to the hotel afterwards, getting a taxi and laughing about moments there.</p><p>"Oh god, you remember when you almost crushed my hamster? You cried so bad when he was playing dead" Phichit bursted into laughter, pulling the key fob out.</p><p>We both giggled so loudly until I saw Celestino, my mind wavering. Even though I had a separate room next-door, I felt kind of- of, out of place.</p><p>"Ciao! Yuuri is here, obviously"</p><p>"None of your coaches could make it?" He asked.</p><p>"Yes, Viktor is in China with Georgi and Mila, Yakov is with them as well" I mumbled.</p><p>"What about Lilia, isn't she here?" He asked.</p><p>"Ah, yes, with Yurio, she doesn't interact with me as much, more of Yurio's ballet instructor than anything else" I mentioned. "So, I hope, we can... Push everything that happened between us aside" I looked down in regret.</p><p>"Yuuri, I've always had faith in you, I just, didn't know how to push you, I failed as a coach on my end" He smiled, "I would be more than thrilled to coach such a great skater again, even if it's for... A few days" He smirked.</p><p>"Buddies!" Phichit pulled us all in a group hug.</p><p>"Okay, so I got some places to go to hang out before we get to training-"</p><p>And Phichit's babbling continued on. Honestly I'm so glad to be able to rely on someone other than Yurio. But I honestly miss, <em>Viktor</em>.</p><p>-<br/><b><em>Viktor's P.O.V. </em></b></p><p>China usually isn't this dark, not as dark as this. My glasses sitting on my face, trying to enjoy landing somewhere.</p><p>"Viktor, can you not be so shiny? Your fans are obnoxious sometimes!" Mila groaned</p><p>"Mila, I can't control other people" I laughed. "I also can't help I was gone for a year" I mumbled.</p><p>"Oh, you could've been single" Georgi laughed.</p><p>This feeling is deafening, the feeling I felt before Yuuri, loneliness. Its like a choke hold, none of my friends are at this tournament, all I have is this make-shift family I've made up in my head. And as much as I smile, as much as I laugh for the cameras, that feeling is still there.</p><p>That feeling I've felt since I was 17, and the only cure I can find is Yuuri. I could never believe in soulmates; but, I believe in them now.</p><p>I stared at my phone screen, a pretty picture of me and Yuuri, sharing a soft kiss. I smiled a little at the photo, Yuuri's lips were often chapped, he has a biting habit when he's nervous. I can't stand my lips chapped, and thats a real habit.</p><p>"Earth to Viktor?" Mila waved her hand in front of my face. "I swear you two can't go a second without eachother"</p><p>"So what, not my fault all of you are single and sad" I devishly smiled.</p><p>"That was harsh!" Georgi yelled.</p><p>"Looks like Viktor's crude jokes are coming back" Mila bursted.</p><p>"Alright you three, calm it, I need to order a taxi" Yakov grumbled.</p><p>We all waited around for the taxi to arrive, having a hotel close to the rink was convenient. Especially for me to get my mood out.</p><p>I got into the car, ignoring the bickering between Georgi, Mila, and Yakov. Staring outside my window, I could feel the tension. How many times have I been to China? How many different skaters have I been with in the same kind of taxi?</p><p>I couldn't tell you that number.</p><p>When we got to the hotel I immediately unpacked, got dressed and headed to the rink.</p><p>The cold ice chilled my spine in a outrageous way, there were a few skaters that awed my face. But the one I wanted to watch me wasn't here.</p><p>I started with basics, single toe loops and single salcows. I just kept going, kept skating, not resting, and it didn't work, nothing worked to get rid of this fucking feeling. No matter how many jumps I did, ruthlessly, and horribly, I didn't care, as long as I was skating.</p><p>People were staring at me, I was like a wreck, I felt myself slip, my face hitting the ice, and that shit hurt.</p><p>"Vitya!" I finally heard Yakov's screams. "Hotel room, now!" He snapped.</p><p>I got up, feeling like a failure, I rarely felt that way. Those jumps, were not practice, they were a coping mechanism.</p><p>Yakov pushed the buttons on the elevator, I held my skates with my right hand. I remember these were a present from Yakov 2 years ago when I won my fifth gold medal.</p><p>I can't stop thinking.</p><p>He pulled me into the hotel room, roughly opening the door. I honestly barely got really scolded by him.</p><p>"What has gotten into you? Why are you rebelling this hard, first it was running off with some boy, then quitting skating, coming back like it was nothing, and now having a mental breakdown because your fiancé isn't here? What is wrong with you?!"</p><p>"He isn't some boy, Yakov, you even know that"</p><p>"I didn't mean-" He pinched his temple. "I know  Yuuri is very talented, and he's your biggest inspiration, and I've seen the improvement in your skating, but the thing you did was very wreckless"</p><p>"I know"</p><p>"And this isn't the first time you've made some wreckless <em>decisions</em>"</p><p>"That wasn't my fault" I looked up at him.</p><p>"No, it wasn't, but you were smart enough at 15 to know it wasn't a good idea" He argued.</p><p>I fiddled, "You can't use this against me, I didn't think all of this would lead to <em>that</em>"</p><p>Yakov sighed, "I'm not blaming you, I'm just saying, I was worried after you left, making wreckless decisions" He sat down on the bed next to me, "Does Yuuri know?"</p><p>"Yes"</p><p>"Everything?" He added.</p><p>"No" I mumbled, tears forming in my eyes, heat pooling in my cheeks with sorrow.</p><p>"Vitya, you are my greatest achievement, I am so proud of you" He put a hand in my shoulder. "And everyday young Yurio grows, I see my young Vitya in him, you both are so wreckless, it scares me" He chuckled.</p><p>"I know" I peeped out.</p><p>"Vitya, I know your days of skating are coming fractured, I know you've found someone else that makes skating feel like nothing-" He paused.</p><p>"I wish me and Lilia were like you, so willing to give everything up, ultimately, it ruined us" He mentioned. "You're like a son to me, and so is Yurio, and I know as much as he won't admit it, he cares about you, looks up to you as an older sibling" Yakov mumbled.</p><p>"Sometimes I forget how-... Kind you are" I looked up to see Yakov.</p><p>"You're still that little 10 year old I always knew under all that money" He joked, pushing my bangs behind my ear.</p><p>"I love you, my eldest son" He pulled me into a hug.</p><p>My tears enveloped onto that cigar-smelling leather jacket. "I love you too, Pa" I weeped gently in his arm.</p><p>"And Yuuri, oh, you scored with that one" He joked, "Such a good man that boy is" He rubbed his back. "Tell me Vitya, I can see it in your eyes, are you retiring after this season?"</p><p>I backed away and wiped my tears, "I want to be with Yuuri, be there for him, maybe even kids one day, but, I know this is the last time, you'll be seeing my name on the ice"</p><p>"A very mature decision, I can't argue with you this time, and I can't beg you to stay, its not like you listen to me anyway" He chuckled.</p><p>I giggled, "I observed"</p><p>"Vitya, don't ever let Yuuri go, if you think this is what you want, love takes sacrifice, it takes your whole being" He warned.</p><p>"I know, I won't" I promised.</p><p>"You need some air, please go have fun, what's adulthood without a little fun?"</p><p>"I know just the place" I looked into those grey-dim eyes.</p><p>-</p><p>I breathed gently, it was my 2nd performance without Viktor there. I was honestly in a mishap staring at all the makeup surrounding me. It was pressuring, and suffocating.</p><p>Phichit and Yurio are probably going for the top 3 to get through which means I at least have to have 4th place. Which I'm fine with, but I prefer I get Bronze to qualify.</p><p>I'll just admit it since it's bothering me, I'm extremely <em>nervous!</em> Badly nervous, like in sitting here trying not to shake like a leaf. Viktor's gone, and I can't seem to get it to my head right...</p><p>I'm going to <em>die</em> here! I'm gonna cry, cry out of <em>nervousness.</em></p><p>Everyone will see me fail, <em>no I won't. </em>I'll loose everything, <em>you have everything</em>. At least this time my impeccable ability to flunk won't reflect on Viktor.</p><p>My mind ran that last thought, at least Viktor won't take the fall. Its my responsibility now. What if?</p><p>I didn't indulge in that thought, I didn't like that thought, I wanted to end everything over this line. <em>If I fail, Viktor will leave me.</em></p><p>I'll confess I've had this thought before, as I played with my engagement ring. But, it didn't hit this hard.</p><p>I felt the tears well up in my eyes, my lower lids hot with tears. I just let them flow, my irrational thoughts killing me slowly.</p><p>The thought of loosing Viktor, I don't want to ever feel-</p><p>"Yuuri, you ready?" Phichit walked in, pausing at my display of hysteria "Oh my god, Yuuri....you're crying..."<br/>He stopped fully, I covered my face.</p><p>"I-Its just all the stress" I started to inch away from Phichit.</p><p>"Yuuri, hey, I know you get nervous but you'll be fine" Phichit grabbed out some tissues from the poodle dispenser and wiped the tears away.</p><p>"You're an amazing skater, I'm sure you'll make top 4 and qualify, half the skaters here are amateurs..." He pulled more tissues as I blowed my nose.</p><p>"How do you know that?" I mumbled through the white tissue. "Yurio's not an amateur" I noted.</p><p>"Because you'll win for Viktor, Yurio doesn't even matter" He smugly said, I stopped in tears. <em>I never thought of it that way. </em>My mind was so caught up with failure I almost forgot, how much Viktor meant.</p><p>"And it doesn't matter if you win gold at the GPF or not, Viktor's still gonna marry you" He said with a heightened squeal. I slightly rolled my eyes and then started crying again.</p><p>"Y-Yuuri-" He frantically looked around, finalizing that he should just hold me in his arms.</p><p>"P-Phichit, you don't h-ave to hug m-me" I cried, but hugged back.</p><p>"But what are friends for?"</p><p>-</p><p>
  <b> <em>-7 years ago-</em> </b>
</p><p>"You suffer from Depression? Why didn't you tell Celestino?" Phichit welled with concern.</p><p>"It's better not to tell anyone, then people don't have to worry for me" I said, he giggled and shook his head.</p><p>"The world doesn't work that way, Yuuri" He smirked. "Everyone who loves you is gonna worry, that includes me" He pointed to himself with the biggest smile ever.</p><p>"Wait you love me?" I turned.</p><p>"I-I love you as a best friend!" He quickly shook it off. "Soo.... Of course I worry"</p><p>"Oh, I've only had 1 friend growing up" I mumbled, "So I'm not sure how friends work"</p><p>"Well, then, I'll get teaching" He grinned.</p><p>-</p><p>I still debate about what he meant by <em>that</em>. Come to think about it, me and Phichit have the longest friendship out of any of our grouped past ones.</p><p>It wouldn't have been weird if we ever got together. In fact, I think at one point it was expected by our rink mates. But god, things would be so different from now.</p><p>I don't know why I had that flashback just now. But thinking of things distracts me. I wonder if I ask him now, would he be honest about how he truly felt, now that our lives are set up.</p><p>"Hey Phichit, You're dating Seung right?" I asked him, He looked at me, kind of shocked.</p><p>"Yeah, how'd you know?" He furrowed his brows.</p><p>"Just heard it around, but I have a question" I grabbed a tissue passed him and blew my nose.</p><p>"Y-Yeah?" He suspiciously asked.</p><p>"Did you ever have a crush on me?" I turned back to him.</p><p>"No! God No, you were my best friend and that was it!" He snapped and smiled slightly, that was his lying face.</p><p>"You're lying..." I simply said, grabbing another tissue.</p><p>"No...I'm not" He averted his eyes, <em>He's a terrible liar.</em></p><p>"You're averting your eyes and smirking while your face twitches, you're definitely lying" I blinked blankly, and looked straight at him.</p><p>"I have a boyfriend Yuuri and you have a Fiancé, It's best to leave things in the past" He smiled genuinely.</p><p>"So you did?" I smirked.</p><p>"DID not now....you're my best friend Yuuri, and I love Sueng" He chuckled loudly. "Hey, look at that your curiosity patched your anxiety!" He poked my cheek, I chuckled loudly.</p><p>He always knows what to do to calm my nerves.</p><p>"How about I patch up this makeup and we can get to the rink?" He picked up the makeup brush.</p><p>"Yeah, that'd be great"</p><p>-</p><p>
  <b> <em>-10 years ago-</em> </b>
</p><p>"Wow would you look at that Lilia!"<br/>I smiled brightly at the thousands of lights over the horizon of water.</p><p>"Viktor, do you think sight seeing is better than practicing ballet for skating?" She asked, I rolled my eyes.</p><p>"Yes, I kind of do actually...you never stop to see the lights?" I asked, she shook her head. "You should go out with Dad and get some romantic time..." I pouted over the bright red bridge.</p><p>"Do you really think Yakov would want to do this, he's so grumpy lately, we never get to do anything" She answered, that was one of my worst fears, that Lillia and Yakov would separate. They're like my only parents left, but I'm kinda used to being alone completely, its nothing new.</p><p>"Why don't you go out with your girlfriend Viktor?" She asked, I pulled out my flip phone and started texting.</p><p>"She was boring so I dumped her" I blankly said.</p><p>"You can't just dump a girl don't you care about her feelings?" She asked, I sighed.</p><p>"Define, feeling..." I asked.</p><p>"Emotions with a willful conduct, simple, you know the things you feel to act on ice" She answered.</p><p>"I don't feel anything, I just skate and people like it, sad, mad, frustrated, concerned, those don't exist to me" I smiled, she sighed and straightened her coat.</p><p>"You're holding back on your skating then, I'm surprised I didn't notice it sooner" She said, I pouted.</p><p>"Sadness is obviously something you feel young man" She grabbed my arm and showed the scars.</p><p>"So? They're old! I did them hecka long ago" I smiled and put back the sleeve.<br/>"You're so strict!" I whined, knowing that those scars weren't that long ago.</p><p>"Yes I am, especially towards someone who's basically my adopted son" She started walking down the bridge more.</p><p>"I don't wanna be a Prima-ballerina" I whined out.<br/> <br/>"Waa Waa! Stop your crying"<br/>She mocked me, I giggled. "So what was boring about her?" She asked, changing the subject.</p><p>"All she ever talked about was shopping and sex, and she was a whore so I dumped her" I said, scraping my shoes against the red painted wood floor.</p><p>"So, it was a toxic relationship, it's good that you ended it" She primped.</p><p>"I don't even like girls..." I pouted.</p><p>"At least you're trying to be normal, that's what matters" She looked at me with worry, "This new movement of same sex marriage in America has affected the whole world" She grumped, I kicked the edge of the fence.</p><p>"So fucking what?! Just because someone is different doesn't mean you just throw them to the shitty curb!" I yelled, she narrowed her eyes.</p><p>"Using such crude language Viktor is unacceptable!" She yelled at me, I twitched my eye in anger.</p><p>"This is the fucking reason I ran away! Why I don't have parents! Why I trust no one!! Why I can't love anyone! Why I don't feel, because if I do, I'll just remember bad memories!" I snapped badly.</p><p>"Viktor Nikiforov! Don't you raise your voice at me!" She screamed.</p><p>"I hate life, I hate people! and most of all I hate Russia!" I cried in anger.</p><p>"Viktor!"</p><p>"I hate skating..." I broke down and started crying, I turned and ran away down the bridge.</p><p>"Viktor!!!" I heard her yell again.</p><p>I kept running, my wet face of tears caused my long gray hair to stick to my face. The flash of lights kept streaking away as my visible breath caught up with my running.</p><p>I choked on my tears, feeling the wind hit my cheeks the cool air calming my anger.</p><p>I don't know where I'm going, but it was  somewhere far away from <em>there</em>.</p><p>I stopped and looked around, it was  a really weird place to go. But, I was in front of a forest, with a huge red square archway with steps in the middle of it.</p><p>I rubbed my red nose from wetness, then my eyes, but they still liquified glass tears.</p><p>I was mesmerized by confusion as I stepped up the steps, turning back I saw the distant lights of the festival. I kept walking up, hearing the patter of my tears hit the stone walkway behind me.</p><p>I stopped crying when curiosity struck me, and the smell of pine brought me back to when I visited my grandparents. They died when I was 6, but the smell of Spruce and Siberian Larch, along with the humidity from lake Onega, all made me remember the small city of Petrozavodsk.</p><p>My grandparent's cabin was beautiful, and especially during Christmas time. We used to sit by the fire as the snow outside fell silently. I remember the snow very well, the light from the cabin gave a distinct glow to the forest and reflected the ice crystals causing a glittery effect.</p><p>I used to love hearing the crunch of fresh fallen under my boots, and making snow angels. The innocence of being a child and not knowing trouble and fear, love or hate.</p><p>I miss <em>that</em>, being able to see things in chastity, like a delicate flower blooming.</p><p>But you can't stop yourself from growing up, you find yourself dangling your feet with tiny shoes. All of the sudden, those shoes change to pointed boots and all you can think is '<em>when did I get here?'</em> and '<em>what's my next move?'</em></p><p>I never could answer that question, '<em>what will your future be?'</em> I never wanted to look in the past or future, because both hurt a lot to think about.</p><p>I knew I'd be lonely in the future and I know I'd always regret my past decisions.</p><p>There was a part of me on this edge that didn't want to fall into adulthood and wanted to stay in this heaven false reality called '<em>childhood</em>'.</p><p>I'm 17 and before I know it I'll wake up and be 25, still alone like always. No one will care about me, except my skating.</p><p>I'll be completely in solitude, trying to forget everything and go back to that pine cabin.</p><p>Yeah, that's my future and I accept it fully, I always knew I didn't deserve love or a real life. Especially after what happened to me.</p><p>I'll always be the scared little boy shackled to chains on the bottom of the ocean, holding my knees, waiting.</p><p>Waiting for that certain someone to come down and break these chains of mine, pull me from the bottom of the open water to the clouds. I'm just not sure who yet. I once tried, and saw where that <em>ended</em> me.</p><p>I'm sure that person will never come and see the hurt in me and accept all of it.</p><p>I don't think that kind of person exists, they'd have to be an angel of some sort. And, I think they'd have to be just as hurt as me, a fallen angel even. If someone could pull me out I'd be fully happy, if they're willing to swim deep I'll love them just as fully. </p><p>-</p><p>I didn't notice I came back to the same spot, after Yakov. I've came here multiple times, waiting. This old temple and the smell of wet pine, though, the place didn't feel the same like it used to.</p><p>The temple is tattered and old, and the only remains of people, are old plant infested jars used for essence.</p><p>It's silent, yet reassuring, I smiled looking down at my ring. I think it feels different because I'm not waiting anymore for a miracle angel to save me.</p><p>He already has, and that fallen angel is <em>Yuuri</em>.</p><p>I got up from the halfway broken bench and pulled off the hammered wood against the entrance of the temple. I looked inside, and a small statue was put in there. Along with a bag of old probably dampened essences, and already burned candles, with drip marks on the sides from over-usage.</p><p>The temple was filled with old cob webs, I remember I used to clean this place up when I was younger. I hoped that some sort of good luck would come from it, along with making my audience happy. But really, it was like a sanctuary to me. </p><p>I dug in my jacket pocket and pulled out some matches, I usually keep them around for Chris who always forgets his lighter.</p><p>I don't smoke, I never liked weed or tobacco even when I was a teen. I slid the wood sticks against the sandpaper-like roughness, and heard the scratch of fire.</p><p>I lit the candles and essence, putting it in the plant grown jar outside, bringing it in. I grabbed the rug and shook it out, sitting on it, of course peace doesn't last as long as planned.</p><p>My phone rang.</p><p>"Hallo~" His thick Swiss accent crawled through.</p><p>"Hey, what's up?" I said back, he chuckled loudly.</p><p>"Nothing much" He sneered.</p><p>"So did you make it?" I asked, it was an obvious question.</p><p>"Duaaah, of course I did your homeland vas a breeze" He slurred.</p><p>"Oh really? So what'd you get?" I questioned.</p><p>"Gold, zough going against Otabek vas a little hard" He whined, I chuckled.</p><p>"I'm assuming you're going to vin gold, and your darling hubby....Oh! Zat's right ze little piggy is still your fiancé, mein bad, YOU SHOULD GO MARRY HIM!"<br/>He joked, I laughed loudly.</p><p>"I will, in fact I can't wait...I love him so much" I said.</p><p>"If you love him so much, how come JJ has more balls zen you?" He smugly said.</p><p>"Because JJ has no hold back" I laughed.</p><p>"Get the egotistical ashlock a schwanz ring" He chucked.</p><p>"Wow! Chris...." I gawked.</p><p>"Vhaaaat? I vas just being honest..." He whimpered.</p><p>"So, How do you feel about your fiancé beating your score, everyone saw it you know" He teased, I sighed.</p><p>"I'm going to punish him with more kisses when I get the chance"<br/>I said, Chris cackled loudly.</p><p>"I zought you'd be more angry Viktor" He said.</p><p>"No he's my fiancé" I said.</p><p>"Any ozer vays you're going to punish him?" Chris asked.</p><p>"I mean, I could if I wanted to, but, its more of a reward than anything" I argued.</p><p>"He likes to be punished?"</p><p>"I actually haven't tried anything like that yet, I just wanna take things slow" I mentioned.</p><p>"Seems like Yuuri vants ze opposite" He argued.</p><p>"He has a voice, if he wants to try anything" I sighed.</p><p>"I know, well, I vas just checking in, you know me"</p><p>"I actually need to go home and get some rest"</p><p>"Okaaayy, vell, keep in touch!"</p><p>"I will, Bye Chris"</p><p>"Byeee"</p><p>-</p><p>I finished in 3rd with a breeze, suffocating everything I had to make it through. But, as worried as I was, me and Viktor had been limited to text-only relationship to help the stress.</p><p>Although, now that I'm thinking about it, I kinda wish I did talk to him on the phone, I miss his voice.</p><p>"Hey!"</p><p>I turned my back to see Yurio with Lillia, "Hey, Yurio"</p><p>"How dare you not give your all in this fucking competition, piglet!" He got in my face, "You're better than a tin medal!"</p><p>"I-"</p><p>"I know everything with Viktor's been tight, but I'm your friend too, I hate to admit it-" He trailed, "You could've came to me" He looked up, tears welling in his eyes slightly.</p><p>"Yurio, as much as I enjoy your company, I needed somebody who knew me better, and knew the problems I face"</p><p>"I know those"</p><p>"Phichits known me for 7 years, he knows my thought process" I sighed.</p><p>"Yuuri is right" Lillia put a hand on his shoulder, "And it would've added stress"</p><p>"Thats precisely why I didn't contact you, Yurio" I smiled, "And, I'm older, aren't I supposed to set an example?"</p><p>"I guess so" He sighed, "But promise me next time you'll at least let me know" He looked away.</p><p>"I promise" I gave him a small hug.</p><p>"I don't need a hug from you old geezer!"</p><p>"I'm hugging you in place of Otabek"</p><p>"Beka hugs better than you" He argued.</p><p>"I'll see you at the finals" I mentioned.</p><p>"Alright, and you better try your best! No slacking!" He yelled, walking away to his hotel room.</p><p>I sighed and pushed the elevator button. Viktor had won gold, it was expected, and he was on his way to Tokyo just like me. I guess I was truly excited, because this time, my whole family could make it.</p><p>But what made me more excited than that, was being able to see Viktor again. I key-fobbed the hotel room. It was messy with makeup everywhere, but empty since Phichit and Celestino were out celebrating.</p><p>I sighed, sitting on the bed, dialing up Viktor's number.  "Come on, Come On, pick up the phone...." I said aloud.</p><p>"Hello!" His voice yelled.</p><p>"Viktor I-"</p><p>"This is Viktor Nikiforov here, if you have the time leave me a message after the ding" I almost dropped my phone until it lit up with his call.</p><p>"Oh, thank goodness Viktor, I thought something was up" I sighed.</p><p>"I'm sorry the stupid reception up here won't let me receive calls, so I've been calling people, you did great Yuuri"<br/>He complimented, I blushed darkly.</p><p>"It was nothing" I fidgeted, staring at my ring.</p><p>"No, Yuuri, I'm honestly proud, very proud" I could hear the waiver in his voice.</p><p>"Thank you, hey Viktor" I paused.</p><p>"Yeah, what is it?" He asked, I smiled brightly.</p><p>"After the Final, Let's get end this stupid engagement and get married okay?" I asked, smiling like an idiot.</p><p>"Yeah, I think that's best... hey and Yuuri, while we're asking things, can I tell you something?" He asked.</p><p>"Hai?"</p><p>"Promise not to get upset"</p><p>"I promise..." I could hear the uncertainty in his voice. My mind was in straight panic mode.</p><p>"I'm retiring after this, for you and my future... I want to have a stable marriage and family, you can keep skating, but I'm done and I've made that final decision" He said, my face heated under my lids, tears pooling in my eyes, I felt the first few drops hit my hands.</p><p>"<em>W-What</em>?"<br/><br/><br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 17, The Last Skate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>"I'm retiring to get married to you and have kids" He clearly said.</p><p>"Viktor you can't retire! Do you know how e-everyone would f-feel?" I yelled, gasping for air from my tears.</p><p>"Yuuri, I love you but I'm almost 29....It's about time, and like I said, I'm fine retiring, you can keep skating and live your dream" He said, I started crying more.</p><p>"But my dream was to go against y-you, I never p-planned on the way my idol w-would fall so in love with m-me that he'd retire to m-marry me" I wailed.</p><p>"Yuuri, don't cry, you will live your dream...aren't you going against me already? I consider you my equal, a worthy opponent, and my fiancé" He said, I fely my eyes widen, it was <em>true</em>.</p><p>"Well, I-if you're retiring to take care of our f-future family so am I! I'm not going to let you do this on your own, we're together on this!" I demanded, my throat burning with gut.</p><p>"Yuuri-"</p><p>"I won't be the parent who's always gone off skating somewhere half across the world! I want to be there for the first word, step, bath, laugh, and birthday! If you retire Viktor so am I! I love you too much not to-"</p><p>"My love-"</p><p>"So if this is your final skate, it's mine too!" I cried, throat stinging.</p><p>"Yuuri- don't retire please, keep skating you're only 25" He said, I wiped my tears. "I'm making this decision through lots of thinking, don't follow me on a whim"</p><p>"It's too late, like you said I've made my final decision, and that retiring with you to get married!" I said, he sighed.</p><p>"Yuuri, please think for once" He pleaded, "I'm 4 years older than you"</p><p>"I'm retiring and that's final!" I snapped.</p><p>"Yuuri! You're being ridiculous!"</p><p>"I'm being myself!" I breathed heavily, swallowing my guilt, "I can't live skating knowing I'm the reason you retired, it's selfish!"</p><p>"No, I'm selfish, and a hypocrite" He sighed.</p><p>"How are you selfish?"</p><p>"Oh, Yuuri, I said it myself that it was selfish, when you tried to do the exact same thing I'm doing in Barcelona"</p><p>"But-" I paused, "You're only making this decision because of me" I gulped, "Tell me, Viktor, if I weren't here, would you still be skating? Would you make <em>this</em> decision?"</p><p>"No-"</p><p>"See?!"</p><p>"You didn't let me finish!" Viktor snapped, I zipped my lips.</p><p>"Sorry"</p><p>"It's okay" He mentioned, "Yuuri, if you weren't here, I'd probably be dead" He paused, "I'm not being dramatic, I truly didn't find any purpose in life" I could hear the sadness in his voice.</p><p>"Viktor, I don't want to continue without you, I want you, I want to get married, I want to see our kids grow up" I explained, "Please, as your friend, your apprentice, and for the love of god as your fiance, let me retire with you"</p><p>I heard a long pause, "Fine, this is your decision"</p><p>"Thank you, Coach"</p><p>"As your coach, you better make this final skate the best one yet" He said, I laughed, choking on tears.</p><p>"You b-better not let me win! I want to go against you fully!" I cried.</p><p>"Hey, Yuuri-"</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"I love you more than anything" He sent a kiss through the phone.</p><p>"I love you too" I kissed back.</p><p>"I can't wait to see you"</p><p>"Me too"</p><p>"Goodnight, my love"</p><p>"Goodnight" I ended the phone call.</p><p>I cried that night, imagining a life with Viktor, there were sad tears, and happy ones. But I dozed off to sleep, dreaming of the life that was ahead of me.</p><p>When I woke up it was time to get on the plane to Tokyo, sighing gently to myself, as I left the taxi. It was better to sleep on the plane to the tournament, Viktor was already there since China was so close to Japan; he was probably meeting up with my family as I thought.</p><p>I got on the plane and drifted to sleep silently against the window. <em>This was so much better when Viktor was here. </em></p><p>I slept the 12 hours it took to get home, well, my home country. I was woken up by the flight attendant, speaking Japanese to me gently.</p><p>I coughed and woke up, the wheels on the airplane bumping all of the passengers.</p><p>I pulled my suitcase from above the seats, getting off the plane to the terminal. Of course, when I saw the crowds surrounding a certain area, and I knew.</p><p>I ran in the crowd, pushing a few people to get to-</p><p>"Yuuri, Katsuki, what's up?" It was JJ, I sighed in annoyance as the crowd directed towards me.</p><p>"Katsuki are you looking forward to this tournament?" One of the stations asked.</p><p>"I'm looking for my family to pick me up, I won't be answering questions until the tournament" I assertively answered, backing out of the circle.</p><p>"Man your relationship is so broken Viktor isn't here to see you, that's tragic" JJ giggled.</p><p>"Not as broken as your last final, or do you remember me beating you?" I snarled back, ignoring the rest of what he had to say, I went outside in the cold, waiting.</p><p>My phone rang, "Yuuri I'm so sorry, I was gonna pick you up, but I'm running late" Minako sighed.</p><p>"That's fine, where's Viktor?" I asked.</p><p>"Oh, wait, Yuuri are you not at the Kumamoto station?" She asked.</p><p>"No, I'm in Tokyo!" I snapped.</p><p>"Viktor said that you were going to get on the train"</p><p>"He never told me that, I just landed"</p><p>"It must have been miscommunication" She sighed, "Do you have money to get a bullet here?"</p><p>"Yes, I do" I looked down.</p><p>"Call me when you're going to be two hours from here"</p><p>"I will"</p><p>I made my to the station, buying a bullet to Kumamoto it was another 5-6 hours. I wasn't sleeping for those, which meant I'd be home by 8pm.</p><p>I waited those 6 hours, scrolling instagram and doing jack knows what.</p><p>When I got off the train I got a text that Minako would be there soon, she was picking me up food.</p><p>I saw the black Honda pull up, putting my suitcase in the back I got in the front seat.</p><p>"I haven't seen you since you left for Russia!" She squeezed me close, kissing the top of my head.</p><p>"Minako!" I whined.</p><p>"What? I can't be excited to see you?" She pouted.</p><p>"The kissing was a little much"</p><p>"I'm learning some foreign greetings" She smiled.</p><p>"You sound like Viktor"</p><p>"Oh! Speaking of which there's a big surprise at home for you, we planned a little something!" She smirked.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"You'll find out" She giggled.</p><p>I sighed, putting my headphones in for the long drive ahead. I was definitely looking forward to seeing my family, but for some reason after last night's talk, I didn't really want to see Viktor.</p><p>And with all of that, the two hours flew by fast. My onsen clearly closed for whatever reason. I got my suitcase and slowly walked into the house.</p><p>"Happy Birthday Yuuri!" My family yelled, it had been a month since my birthday, and I did wonder why I didn't receive gifts.</p><p>Although Viktor's birthday was around the corner in a few days, at least this year I'd be able to spend Christmas with my family.</p><p>My mom gave me a huge hug, "Viktor went to pick up the cake for this double birthday"</p><p>"Aa, okay" I nodded, sighing to myself.</p><p>We started by eating some things that my family made out for my birthday, thanking them briefly. Viktor came with the cake and we both blew out the candles and exchanged gifts, and partied a little even though his birthday wasn't today.</p><p>It had been a long day for me, and hours flew by like nothing. Me and Viktor went up the stairs to my bedroom. As soon as he opened the door he flopped on the bed.</p><p>"You tired?"</p><p>"Couldn't sleep last night" He muttered.</p><p>"Neither could I" I paused, "Thought about the future too much"</p><p>"Yeah, me too" He pulled me close.</p><p>"I love you, Viktor"</p><p>"I love you too" He kissed the top of my head, knocking out in 30 seconds.</p><p>-<br/>It was Christmas morning, the sun slowly showing through my window. I sighed gently, staring at Viktor's sleeping face.</p><p>"Goodmorning" I whispered, kissing his cheeks.</p><p>"Mmnh" He mumbled.</p><p>"Happy Birthday, Vitya" I caressed his face.</p><p>"Thank you" He nuzzled deeper into my neck.</p><p>"What do you wanna do today?" I asked him.</p><p>"Just, cuddles" He smooched my lips.</p><p>"Nothing else?"</p><p>"We already got packed, and I just wanna sleep" He groaned.</p><p>"Alright" I petted through his hair, kissing the top of it.</p><p>"We could do something else" Viktor smirked.</p><p>"Like what?"</p><p>"Well..." He grabbed my butt, "I can think of a few things"</p><p>"Viktor, this is my parent's house" I sighed, "We can do that tomorrow in the hotel"</p><p>"Can we do some foreplay?" He whined, "I'll be quiet, I promise"</p><p>"Neither of us are quiet, don't give me that" I rolled my eyes.</p><p>"It's my birthday" He used his puppy eyes.</p><p>"Fine" I gave in, "Even though I look like shit right now"</p><p>"You look amazing, my love" He whispered in my ear, massaging my hips.</p><p>"Hmn" I kissed his neck, nuzzling in his shoulder.</p><p>Of course we did it anyways, but after all that time apart it was well deserved. We slept in the bedroom a bit longer, the lighty humid air picture framed just how much I loved him. I kissed his jawline, taking in the natural scent of him.</p><p>Viktor smelled like the sea, or soft snow, a feeling of winter. It wasnt an actual scent, but a feeling you got from the smell.</p><p>"Should we get up and shower?" I asked him, softly rubbing his back.</p><p>"Alright" He sat up, stretching, I stared a little too long at his muscles.</p><p>"What, you want a round 2?"</p><p>"No, just admiring" I smiled, pulling all of our clothes into the hamper.</p><p>"I'm somewhat of an admirer myself" He bit his lip, staring at me from behind.</p><p>"Viktor, I know it's your birthday, but we need to get clean, you can stare at me in the shower" I scolded.</p><p>"Alright" He got up.</p><p>Viktor loved spending time in the shower, the water hot, and of course I loved the intimacy of coupled showers.</p><p>When we got out, we headed down to the hot springs, dipping into the water.</p><p>"Viktor?" I asked.</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"Are you sure you want to marry me?"</p><p>"Yes" He answered, no hesitation.</p><p>"I just-" I sighed, slicking my hair back with water, "I don't want you to quit with regrets"</p><p>"I've thought about this for 4 years now, retiring, but, Yuuri, I think this is just the beginning for you" He looked in my eyes, "Don't retire"</p><p>"Viktor, I-"</p><p>"You can't look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn't regret it"</p><p>And he was right, I was just at the peak of my dreams, what I've worked so hard for, "Viktor I don't want to leave you and our kids"</p><p>"The season only lasts 3 months Yuuri, we can always bring the kids with" He smiled, "Don't retire" His fingers ran through my hair.</p><p>"I-"</p><p>"Yuuri, don't make me do this" The water splashed as he inched closer, pulling me onto of his lap.</p><p>"Viktor-" I squirmed, falling into the pool.</p><p>He pulled me back up, pushing my hair out of my face, "Yuuri, as an order from your coach, and as my birthday present, I forbid you to retire" He sighed, placing a peck on my cheek.</p><p>I could see the seriousness in his eyes, my doubts swallowing my throat.</p><p>"Yuuri?"</p><p>"Fine, I won't" I bit my lip, tearing up.</p><p>"Dont cry my love" He wiped my tears.</p><p>"I just, I'm going to miss you, on the i-ice" I hiccuped on tears. "I would've cried even if y-you weren't with me" I choked.</p><p>"Yuuri, I'll be with you all of the time, cheering you on" He wiped more of my tears.</p><p>"I know, and I just feel so guilty" I sniffled.</p><p>"Don't" He pulled my chin in for a soft kiss, "I love you, Yuuri"</p><p>"I love you too" I smiled, hugging him so close, it almost hurt.</p><p>We headed on the train to Tokyo the next morning, adrenaline running through my veins. I knew what we were facing, I knew the judgement I was going to face. I knew deep down,</p><p>Deep, Deep down, that-</p><p>
  <em>Viktor retired because of Yuuri Katsuki</em>
</p><p><em>-</em><br/>"Make it your best my love" Viktor whispered in my ear, I pulled him in and kissed him deeply.</p><p>"I promise, today and tomorrow that I will, I love you..." A tear slid down my face, I kissed his cheek and skated to the middle.</p><p>The music started, I know I was going to start a new life after this, a new <em>Vita.</em> So please, let me celebrate the last of this painful past. Let me get rid of the part of me that skates for Viktor, the part connected to him and the ice.</p><p>Let me remember what Victory means, what this life means. Let me remember the moment I idolized Viktor Nikiforov-</p><p>-<br/>"A first edition poster of Viktor Nikiforov?!" I screamed in delight, hugging the poster to my chest.</p><p>"I thought you would like it" Yuuko smiled.</p><p>"This is the best present ever Yuuko!" I hugged her tight.</p><p>"I try" She said bashfully.</p><p>"Where did you even find this? Its limited?!"</p><p>"I get around"</p><p>"Bullcrap!"</p><p>"Its a present, I can't just reveal how I got it" She smirked.</p><p>"Alright" I groaned.</p><p>I was finally 13 at the time, taping up that picture. I stared in those turquoise blue eyes, falling into a trance, I was embarrassed sometimes when it happened, but it did. I wondered in that moment what it would be like to stare into those eyes forever.</p><p>Selfish thing to think about, it was. But in my head, I could picture his lips on mine, his long hair touching my shoulders. Maybe the ice could get me to that, just a sliver of that.</p><p>That hopeless dream</p><p>-</p><p>The music stopped, I fell to the ground and started crying, as I thought of letting go of that dream.</p><p>Letting go of what connected me and Viktor to this ice, it broke me. Physically  I was drained, pulling all of what I had, which was me. It was me from now on, no Viktor, just an apprentice graduating from his mentor.</p><p>I stood up, making my way to the exit. I kissed Viktor and wished him good luck. I made my way to the news stations. I watched him blow me a kiss, blowing one back as the music started.</p><p>He began glittering like he always does, it always made everything feel surreal. The music matching perfectly with his moves.</p><p>I wondered what he thought in that moment. Even though I'm in deep pain, I still think it's the best for him to retire. I could feel that aura, a dying legacy, it always stunk of tight throats and envy eyes. But, truly to an admirer, it was beautiful.</p><p>He made the audience light up, turning on their phone flashlights to the music, it's as if they knew this was his last. You could see it in his performance, the anxiety scratched ice with each loop. To think, I was partially to blame for all of this.</p><p>It's his choice really, I can't take away what he feels is right. So all I can do is watch his beautiful last program. All I can do for tomorrow, is watch him cry when he realizes he'll never step on a GPF rink again.</p><p>Yes, it will be sad, but we'll start a new life, get married in America, have kids and live the life of true happiness. I could die peacefully knowing that we had the best time of our lives.</p><p>
  <em>So please, make this time last a little longer.</em>
</p><p>The music stopped as Viktor skated off the Ice. He broke down on the edge of the rink, crying. I got up and rushed to him, but of course Yurio was far more faster than me.</p><p>"Piglet? What the fuck is wrong with him? What did you do?" Yurio turned from Viktor crying on his shoulder.</p><p>"I didn't do anything, he's retiring after this, so he's stressed-" I said without thinking, pushing Yurio aside from Viktor.</p><p>"WHAT!?" Yurio cracked, grabbing me by the collar.</p><p>"He's retiring to get married and settle down" I said, Viktor straightened himself out.</p><p>"You can't retire baldy!!" Yurio cried, Viktor moved his bangs out of his face.</p><p>"I'm 29 years old Yuri Plisetsky, I'm  getting too old to be here" Viktor cracked, I rubbed his back for comfort.</p><p>"B-But, who's going to hold up Russia!?"</p><p>"I guess that makes you the Next Prima Skater huh?" Viktor turned, Yurio stood in shock.</p><p>Realizing that Viktor actually meant it, and was going all out to prove it. So there was nothing he could do.</p><p>I could see it in Yurio's face. He realized no matter of skill; if I couldn't change Viktor's mind, there was no way Yurio could do it.</p><p>"Do you think he got it?" Viktor said next to me, I nodded.</p><p>"I think <em>everyone</em> got it"</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em> <b>(Viktor's P.O.V.)</b> </em>
</p><p>This was it, my final skate. It was as if tomorrow came so fast, like a blink. Oh, what I'd do to go back in time and savor it more. Savor my twenties, take back my teens.</p><p>I've had a lot on my mind lately, about how to go about my future. I love Yuuri, and I love skating, but I've been on the ice too long, forgetting love. Yuuri's already gone and crying his eyes out, but he accepts the fact that I'm retiring.</p><p>He also beat my record score, I'm so proud. I'm not going to lay it off so he truly wins, I want this last performance to be genuine.</p><p>I've already had 5 metals, so having another means nothing. It would be so exciting if Yuuri wins gold though, just to see his face. But nothing beats the gold that will be on my left hand when we get married. I can already imagine it so well, I can touch it.</p><p>So yes, the music has started, and I'm already crying. It's always these things that make me want to cry, because I love him so much. I want to die still loving him forever, no one in this world has ever been as close to me and accepted me as Yuuri Katsuki.</p><p>Even if his name changes, I'll always remember him as my piglet who stole my heart in one dance at a small banquet party; seeing him shy, outwitted, and fearful.</p><p>I except his flaws, and his struggle with anxiety, and depression. I accept the fact that it might never go away, and if it does, I'll still love him just as much.</p><p>Then, when we have kids, I'll love them with all my heart, and do as much as I can to be a stable father to my family. I don't think things will be perfect, and I don't think we'll ever be perfect.</p><p>But please, god, if your up there, make the next 60 years of my life amazing, and end my suffering on this blocked ice.</p><p>I swear in that moment, I saw my younger self in my head hug me so tight, and tell me,</p><p>"<em>You've moved on"</em></p><p>All my bad memories following away, as if someone purposely took them. For once, looking back at all of my past I saw light.</p><p>I had blacked out, and was on the floor crying when the light hit me.</p><p>Thousands of people screaming my name, I was the last opponent on ice, so no one was next. Yuuri skated to me in his green and black free skate costume.</p><p>He hugged me tightly, "I knew you could do it..." He whispered in my ear, scores came flying in.</p><p>"And I know you tried your hardest for m-me" He wiped his own tears away, I smiled, realizing, Yuuri had truly surpassed his mentor.</p><p>"Looks like I can marry you now huh?" I chuckled through tears.</p><p>"You i-idiot!" He sobbed, I hugged around him tightly.</p><p>"I love you so much" I whispered in his ear, kissing his cheek lightly.</p><p>"And I love you more than any old certificate can bear" He smiled, I pushed his loose black hair behind his ear, and caressed his cheek.</p><p>I pulled his soft lips to mine, slowly kissing him gently. My shine in the spotlight was over forever.</p><p>And now,</p><p>Just ice chips remained from a pair of Russian golden skates, that belonged to a faded memory of,</p><p>
  <em>Viktor Nikiforov</em>
</p><p>-<br/>(Extra)<br/><em><b>-Yuuri's P.O.V.-</b></em></p><p>"Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov will be performing their extra skating piece, Matrimonium, choreographed by Viktor Nikiforov" The announcer said.</p><p>I stood In the middle of the rink, with my costume on. It was white laced with a side skirt on it, glitter was all over my face that created light bubbles in my peripheral vision.</p><p>A laced net covered part of my face connected to my hair. The costume continued with beads, roses, and such. The see-through lace connected to my white floral choker, lined with glitter up and down.</p><p>The music played as soon as Viktor came on. Viktor was in a full white Tux, with a suede inner lining a tiny white rose sat in his front pocket. It was simple, but that's what made it complimentary.</p><p>I blushed darkly, I loved it when his hair was gelled back.</p><p>We got into position, him wrapping his arms around me, "You look beautiful Yuuri.." He whispered in my ear, I flustered.</p><p>"You look way more amazing Viktor" I smiled, laying back into his chest. </p><p>We started the skate together. It felt as if our real wedding was here, and my whole family was in the audience. Viktor's mom watching at home in Russia.</p><p>I started crying out of happiness as we skated next to each other, landing all the quads in sync. </p><p>I felt so tuned to him, weightless. We kissed gently in the end, signifying his new beginning.</p><p>Well,</p><p>
  <em>Our new begining...</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 18, Quiet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I had a few champagnes, but nothing too crazy, it was the beginning of the banquet though; so, god knows what's in store for me.</p><p>I walked out slowly to the balcony, Viktor was chatting it up with a few senior skaters, coaches and newbies. He was always like that, so outgoing.</p><p>I stared at my hand, looking at my golden ringed finger. In a few months, I would be married to him.</p><p>The thought bubbled in me, filling my stomach with butterflies.</p><p>Loving him wasn't a word that described our relationship, it's just something familiar to the outside world. I love my family, and I love my friends, but Viktor is so much more than that. Love can't describe the way I feel about him, not any adjectives could describe this.</p><p>I sipped a little bit more champagne, sighing gently to the lights of Tokyo. I heard the door creak open, then close.</p><p>"Viktor, are you done chatting it up with all of those guys?" I joked, still looking out.</p><p>"Actually, I'm not Viktor" That wasn't a voice I recognized, they were American I could tell.</p><p>I turned around, it was dark where he was standing and I desperately needed a re-prescription for my glasses.</p><p>"I'm terribly sorry, I can't see you over there, my glasses aren't adjusted to my eyes now" I pulled them off and tried to clean them, the man stepped closer into the deck lights.</p><p>"You're totally fine, I just wanted to talk sponsorships with you"</p><p>"That's normally a coaches job, sorry, you'll have to see Vik-" I put my glasses on and dropped them in horror.</p><p>It was that same scuffy beard and dark hair, and those chalk blue eyes that screamed fear. "Who are you?" I asked.</p><p>"Maxwell Alekseev, I'm pretty sure you've heard of me" He chuckled, picking up my glasses and handing it to me, "I'm a well known sponsor"</p><p>"I have heard of you" My fingers trembled hard, as I put my glasses on again, "I think you should still talk to Viktor"</p><p>"Viktor's not too fond of me" He chuckled, "Are you trembling because he told you?" He whispered.</p><p>I wasn't trembling in fear of him, I was trembling in adrenaline. I wanted to hit him, I wanted to kill him, everything screamed in my body to punch him, but all it allowed was, "Yes, he did"</p><p>His smile and posture changed, creepy, and oily. Not a normal oil an uncomfortable oily feeling, like sludge or garbage.</p><p>"So you're scared of me?" He chuckled.</p><p>"No" I stood my ground, my anxiety bursting in flames around my head.</p><p>"Why are you trembling then?"</p><p>I chuckled, kind of insane like, "Cause it's taking all of my might not to throw you off this deck right now" My eye twitched, hands shuddered and my mind was reeling.</p><p>Reeling of how much this man hurt Viktor even though I didn't know the whole story. All I know is holding Viktor, trembling and scared, crying his eyes out. No matter what this man said, I hated him.</p><p>"Did he tell you how much he loved the cameras" His eyes were like sharp stone, "Tell me, Yuuri, you must know how he is in bed, we've got that in common" His laugh was like an avalanche.</p><p>"No, we're very different" I shot back daggers into his eyes, "The Viktor I know in bed actually gives consent" I laughed, like a spat to his face.</p><p>"That's what he told you, huh?" He sighed, "Oh, Yuuri, poor innocent Yuuri, he was a slut, a horny kid, I just happened to be in the right place, at the right time"</p><p>"He was a kid!" I screamed, I was tired of this, "You were my age, 25! You were disgusting!" I snapped, "You talk about the right place and the right time, the only right place you have is behind bars!"</p><p>"He asked for it" He calmly said, "You're acting crazy over nothing"</p><p>"I took psychology classes buddy, you can't manipulate shit, I know your game, and I'm not crazy" I felt tears well in my eyes, "You're taunting about something hideous!"</p><p>"You're yelling, and calling me the manipulative one"</p><p>"Because you are" I argued, trying everything to calm down, "He was just a kid, he didn't know what he was doing"</p><p>"He was a teenager, not a kid"</p><p>"He was a kid" I corrected, "Same age as Yurio, he was 16, actually 15" I shook my head.</p><p>"And you consider Otabek an appropriate age" He laughed.</p><p>"Otabek was 18 when Yurio turned 16, they're a 2 year age gap, you were 25!" I snapped.</p><p>"And what about you? Viktor's 4 years older than you"</p><p>"Don't even compare mine and my fiancè's relationship to yours" I slammed my champagne on the table.</p><p>"Why are you scared?"</p><p>I got in his face, "I am the best thing thats ever happened to that man, and I'm not just vain" I growled, "I don't know the whole story, you're right, but the fact that Viktor is too terrified to tell me, gives me every reason to hate you"</p><p>"Viktor would you love to add to this conversation?" He smirked.</p><p>"No I wouldn't Max, please leave" His voice wavered, I looked back, it was that same solemn look he gave. That walled look. I made my way over to him, stopping.</p><p>"Come on, you're not happy to see me, it's been years" He walked over.</p><p>"You expect me to be happy?" Viktor laughed, he was afraid, I rushed to his side, holding his hand. "Max, all I want is for you to leave me alone"</p><p>"All I've wanted is an answer, and each of those years you couldn't give it"</p><p>"Because I was afraid of you!" He snapped, "Yuuri, go inside, please" He whispered.</p><p>"No, I think he should hear this" That oily feeling kept creeping.</p><p>"Yuuri please" He started crying.</p><p>"I'm not leaving you" I argued, "No matter what he says"</p><p>"You wanna tell him about how you didn't care we were 10 years apart? You actually liked it, or do we not want to admit that?"</p><p>"I-"</p><p>"He was a kid" I argued, "He didn't understand-"</p><p>"No I did" Viktor broke down, "It was my fault"</p><p>"It's not your fault" I wiped his tears.</p><p>"You're still a baby under all that lying" I could feel his smirk, "Man these days Plisetsky's starting to look like you, it's kind of creepy" His dark giggle erupted from him.</p><p>I wanted to throw up, but Viktor's whole demeanor changed, his hand pushed me gently. "Don't you dare touch him, me is one thing, I don't care about myself" Viktor was terrifying when he wanted to be.</p><p>"Are you trying to scare me?"</p><p>"I won't just scare you, I'll kill you, that's a promise" His lips didn't tremble, he was serious, "Yurio is my family, and you won't touch him"</p><p>"Alright" Max backed down.</p><p>"You also won't scare me anymore, I don't care, I'm tired of you, it should be obvious why I left, after you tried to kill me" His eyes narrowed.</p><p>"You threatened me"</p><p>Viktor laughed, giggled like crazy, "You're serious? All I wanted was a normal relationship, to love somebody, and you wanted sex, Yuuri's right, I wasn't ready, I said no, and you acted yes" He spilled champagne on him.</p><p>"If I see you one more time, I'll press charges, and that's another promise" He smirked, watching him walk out the deck.</p><p>Even though Viktor gave all of that, his shoulders slumped, his breathing was rapid, he sat down at the table.</p><p>"Viktor" I sat down with him, "I'm proud of you" I held his hand, those tears welled in his eyes.</p><p>"I looked like a cheesy superhero" He laughed, trying to hide them.</p><p>"Don't humor this, it's not something to joke about" I kissed his hand.</p><p>"Is it okay?" His lips wavered, tears on the brink of release, "W-will you leave me, please don't leave me" Those tears spilled out, "I'm so scared of loosing you" He gripped my hands, "I know it's disgusting, all of the things you heard"</p><p>"You're not disgusting" I got up, and sat on his lap, "You're nothing but" I pushed his bangs behind his ears.</p><p>"Yuuri" His voice pitched in sadness.</p><p>"I won't leave you either" I hugged him, Viktor's arms wrapped around my back, he was shaking, trembling, sobs echoed the deck.</p><p>"You're okay" I whispered, kissing his head, "I'm so sorry, I wish we met sooner" I petted through his silver locks.</p><p>"I love you" I ran my fingers through his strands.</p><p>"I l-love you too" His voice quivered, his tears hiccuping on my suit, "I'm ruining the suit I b-bought you"</p><p>"It's fine" I pulled him out of my chest and pecked his lips, "You're worth more than any stupid expensive suit"</p><p>"It's not stupid, its gucci" He whined, I giggled loudly, that moment of laughter lasting only a few moments.</p><p>Viktor cried a little more, his voice seething with pain. It made me want to cry, hearing him hurting so badly. For once I just wanted to be in his shoes, to take away everything and deal with it on my own. I kissed his cheek, and wiped more tears away. He was starting to calm down, my arms still petting away the lingering emotions.</p><p>"You feel better?" I asked.</p><p>"A lot, thank you Yuuri"</p><p>"Of course" I kissed his lips again, "What are husbands for?"</p><p>"You're not my husband yet" He giggled, his arms around my waist.</p><p>"I wish I was" I cupped his cheeks, wiping continuing drops.</p><p>"I can't believe I've known you for 2 years now" His smile was genuine, no phallus behind it.</p><p>"To be fair, I don't remember that" I joked.</p><p>"You remember last year's" His smirk echoed numbers, "Kissing me and telling the whole banquet on a table how I was yours"</p><p>"Don't remind me" I blushed brightly.</p><p>"Let's get drunk again, it'll be fun, get rid of all the shit of tonight" He looked in my eyes.</p><p>"If we get drunk this time, we might do more than just get undressed" My cheeks heated.</p><p>"I don't care, anything to get rid of what I just had to go through" His fingers wrapped around my jaw, pulling me into a long kiss.</p><p>"You're sure with everything?" I asked, we only had done it a few times because of all the competitions.</p><p>"Yuuri, I trust you more than anyone" His sea-blue eyes followed mine.</p><p>"I trust you too" My hand placed on his chest.</p><p>"Oi! You two! I've been looking everywher-"</p><p>Me and Viktor looked back at Yurio, our sitting positions in very obvious places.</p><p>"You two are disgusting! In public? C'mon!" He scolded us.</p><p>Me and Viktor both laughed hysterically, "We're not doing that" I chuckled, getting off of Viktor.</p><p>"Oh yeah not doing that when the Russian Circus is in Viktor's pants" Yurio grumbled.</p><p>Viktor turned a shade of vermillion, "I-" He paused.</p><p>"They do say on average its far more easier to get a boner with your intimate partner" I joked.</p><p>"You're disgusting piglet, I'm going inside"</p><p>"Don't act like it doesn't happen with Otabek!" I teased.</p><p>"I will kill you pork cutlet!" He screamed, his face as dark as a tomato as he slammed the door.</p><p>"I didn't mean to blue ball you" I giggled.</p><p>"God, I can't stop thinking about you, it's reeling in my head like a movie" He got up, grabbing the champagne, he downed it quickly.</p><p>"Oh yeah, what things, Vitya?" I moaned in his ear.</p><p>"You're going to be the death of me I swear" He sighed loudly.</p><p>"Let's go inside" I grabbed his wrist, pulling him in, what we saw was absolutely horribly hysterical.</p><p>"You always get stupid drunk every year!" Yurio yelled, trying to peel Chris off of him.</p><p>"You're so cute Yurio~" He giggled, kissing his cheek.</p><p>"нет, get off!" He screamed, "Pork Cutlet, please help me, Otabek left to go get his wallet, and Chris won't stop!" He pleaded.</p><p>"Alright" I sighed, pulling Chris off of Yurio meant he would leech onto me.</p><p>"Thank you, I owe you" He smiled.</p><p>I pulled Chris off of him, and of course he hugged around me, "Yuuri, it's your fault I'm so drunk, you took Viktor away from us all!" He cried.</p><p>I sighed and shook my head, "Chris, Viktor was going to retire anyways" I rolled my eyes, dragging him over to the drinks.</p><p>"You've always had a cute butt, you know zat" He squeezed my behind.</p><p>"If you don't want my fiancé furious I suggest you stop that" I started drinking champagne, my mind blowing fuzzy.</p><p>-</p><p>"Viktorr~" I couldn't think, my feet tripping my socks.</p><p>"Yuuri?" His giggles echoed in my head, I kissed him super hard, how did we get to the hotel?</p><p>That didn't matter did it? I think Viktor got an Uber, "I love you" I pushed him on the bed.</p><p>"I love you too" He kissed me back, my hand groping his tent through his pants.</p><p>"Off" I begged, trying to drunk take off his belt.</p><p>"God, Yuuri" He moaned, his kissing melting away my clothes.</p><p>At least, <em>I </em><em>don't</em> <em>remember</em> <em>the</em><em> rest.</em></p><p>-</p><p>I woke up next to Viktor, my clothes and his scattered all around the room. My head was banging, and the sheets, god, shit the sheets were terrible, I would have to manually clean them today.</p><p>"Viktor?" I shook him lightly.</p><p>"Mnn" He woke up, immediately looking around the room, "What did we do last night?"</p><p>"The better question is what did we not do?" I chuckled, pulling Viktor's lacy lingerie off of his head.</p><p>"I remember coming here, you sucking me off, and then it gets really blurry" He sighed.</p><p>I grabbed my phone and looked at the notifications, Chris had tagged me in ten stories.</p><p>"Oh, jesus" I groaned.</p><p>"You did pole dance though" Viktor winked, "I remember that"</p><p>"Of course I did" I sighed in disappointment.</p><p>"It's okay, we had fun" He smiled, "Playing coach was fun"</p><p>"Viktor, you are my coach now" I kissed him, "And my soon-to-be husband" I stared at the marks on Viktor's neck.</p><p>"I know, everything just feels so, quiet" He mumbled.</p><p>Viktor was right, everything was calm,</p><p>
  <em>Quiet.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 19, The Altins.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day before my birthday I traveled to Kazakhstan, where I had met up with Otabek after my flight. It's surprising to see him drive a car, I'm so used to riding the Harley that its foreign.</p><p></p><div>
  <p>"Hey, Yura" He smiled, helping me with my bag.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Hey"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"How was the flight?" He asked, pulling down the trunk of his SUV.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It was alright" I got on the passenger side, he shut his door.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Ah" He sighed out.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What's with the car? I joked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"More expensive to take around" He started it up</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"That makes sense" I paused, giving him a kiss on the cheek, "Thank you for picking me up"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Its no problem"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Where are we going first?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"My apartment and then we'll go to my parent's house this evening" He pulled out of the airport.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm super nervous, what if they don't like me?" I looked out at the pretty sky.</p>
</div><p>"They already love you" He pulled my hand to the center console, entwining our fingers.</p><p>"They're not mad about when you traveled to me, when I wasn't answering?"</p><p>"No, they understand it was my choice" He rubbed my hand.</p><p>"Alright" I stared out the window, "Your hometown is so beautiful" I stared at the abundance of golden skyscrapers.</p><p>"St.Petersburg is just as beautiful" He complimented.</p><p>"It gets old after a while" I laughed, continuing to look around, it didn't seem like almost a year ago that we got together.</p><p>"Yura, can I ask of something from you?" He pulled into an underground garage, parking next to his regular Harley.</p><p>"Of course" I replied.</p><p>"Don't boast about Russia" He sighed, he was very serious too.</p><p>"Why not?" I asked.</p><p>"In Kazakhstan, and most Ex-Soviet countries, Russia is like a bad memory"</p><p>"Alright? When you mean that what exactly are you egging at?" I looked in his eyes.</p><p>"Like, you don't notice but, calling Ukraine and Belarus, Soviet, is erasing their independence, everyone can agree that the Soviet Union was a terrible idea" He scratched his head.</p><p>"The Soviet Union wasn't that terrible" I mumbled.</p><p>His eyes blew wide, "They actually make you believe that" He shook his head, "They killed millions, Yura, millions of Kazakh" I looked in his eyes, he wasn't lying.</p><p>"They never taught that, what do you mean millions?" I worried.</p><p>"You've never heard of the Kazakh Famine? The order by the USSR that killed 30% of all Native Kazakh?" His voice raised.</p><p>"I didn't know" I rubbed his arm, "I'm sorry-"</p><p>"It's not your fault, I shouldn't be surprised, it's just, my grandmother is going to be there, and-" He sighed, "Even though you're not that, I don't promise my family won't be cross if you talk about it"</p><p>"I promise, I won't say anything" I kissed his lips, "I love you" I caressed his jawline.</p><p>"Sorry about raising my voice, you didn't know" He smiled, leaning into my touch.</p><p>"Its fine, sometimes, it's best to hear about your country's past even though, it hurts" I murmured, "Makes me kinda hate being Russian"</p><p>It felt hesitant, "You didn't do it, so don't feel bad" He looked in my eyes.</p><p>"I'm guessing you're Native Kazakh?" I smiled, "Thats super cool"</p><p>"Yeah, I am actually" He opened his door, going to the back to pull out my luggage.</p><p>"I feel like I'm always learning something new about you" I got out, pulling my luggage to the elevators.</p><p>"Actually, that's a big part of why I'm considered a Hero" He pushed the 3rd floor.</p><p>"Yeah, in Russia if you're not Russian they kind of treat you like shit if you're representing the country" I commented, "Even being half Russian isn't good enough for them"</p><p>"Don't they require you to go into the military for 2 years?"</p><p>"Not me-" I paused, following behind Beka, "I'm an Olympic skater, so I'm fighting for the country in my own way, they don't want to put me through the military when I have to keep a lithe physic" I said.</p><p>"That makes sense" He opened the door, Beka's apartment was gorgeous, and also very clean. But, I suspected that it was, especially with Otabek being a very uptight organized person.</p><p>"Nice place" I awed, there were little black bears everywhere with pictures of his family in glass hutches. The wood in everything was dark oak, the middle coffee table being decorated with little black coasters and a motorcycle figurine.</p><p>"Thanks" He took his coat off, was it weird to imagine a place or our own together? A flash of imagination flooded my vision, cute dark oak picture frames with us in them. Wedding photos on the walls, my cheeks heated up, I was fucking stupid.</p><p>"Your family is so cute" I giggled a little at the photos, Otabek had pictures everywhere, with him and his sister especially.</p><p>"Is this your brother?" I picked up a photo, the man looked a lot like him.</p><p>"That's my father" He laughed, "He'll definitely take that as a compliment"</p><p>"Oh god, you're gonna be hot when you're older" I joked, winking at him.</p><p>"Are you saying I'm not hot now?" He joked, I chuckled.</p><p>"You're always hot to me" I lifted up to kiss his lips.</p><p>"I missed you" He hugged me close, my arms instinctually wrapped around him, this time, we were the same height, "You keep getting taller" He commented.</p><p>"I'm not a kid anymore, so-"</p><p>"You weren't really a kid when we met" He argued.</p><p>"Yeah, but, I was a late bloomer thanks to my mom" I sighed.</p><p>"We should put away your stuff" He pointed to the bag, I was going to be staying for 2 weeks so yeah, I definitely needed to.</p><p>"Alright" I pulled my suitcase into his room, the dark pretty teal green themed room was just as clean as the rest of the house.</p><p>"Where should I put my stuff, in the close-"</p><p>"No!" He snapped, "Sorry, just in some drawers will be fine, I have some presents in the closet" He opened his drawers as I tossed the suitcase on my bed.</p><p>"It's fine" I mumbled, I liked surprises anyways, I took my clothes and started storing them away.</p><p>The only difference of Otabek's room from the rest of the apartment was the lack of wall decor. They seemed so lacking, it wasn't like Beka, obviously to not decorate.</p><p>His cell phone rang loudly, "Sorry, it's my mom" He left the room.</p><p>I liked observing things, taking notes, the walls had to be bare for a damn reason. I looked closer, pin holes were in the walls.</p><p>That means there were posters on these walls, and they were taken down recently from the shavings on them.</p><p>It didn't matter to me enough to fixate on it. I looked at the desk in his room, a bunch of pictures of us were in these small photo albums that doubled as a frame.</p><p>I opened it slowly, the first picture was from the Novice Program, a group photo of all skaters. I turned pages that led to the first selfie we took together as friends.</p><p>It was comforting to see how much I meant to him. The cute little kissy photos to Welcome to the Madness instagram pics.</p><p>"I made that pretty recently" His arm rested on my hip.</p><p>"I love it" I smiled, "I'm so glad I met you" I turned to smooch him.</p><p>"Me too" His palms on my hips.</p><p>"What'd your mom say?" I asked.</p><p>"Oh, she was setting a time for us to visit.</p><p>"Aaa" I replied.</p><p>"She said 5 would be okay"</p><p>I looked at the clock, it was 2pm, "You want to cook lunch together and cuddle?" I wrapped my arms around his neck.</p><p>"Of course" He smiled.</p><p>-</p><p>We ate BLTs on the couch, watching sitcoms. I was sitting on Beka's lap, munching on my sandwich.</p><p>"Beka?" I looked up at him.</p><p>"Yeah" His eyes sparkled, or maybe that was my imagination.</p><p>"I've been thinking-"</p><p>"That's dangerous" He joked, I punched him.</p><p>"This is serious you dickhead!" I snapped, he laughed in pain.</p><p>"Alright, Alright, I'm listening" He calmed.</p><p>"For my 17th birthday, can I ask for something" I hid my probably fusia pink cheeks away from him.</p><p>"What is it? and I'll tell you if I can do it" He pushed back my bangs as I sat up.</p><p>"We've been together for almost a year-" I started, I was shaking.</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>My heart was pounding so loud, I was so scared, excited to ask, "Would it be okay, to you know?"</p><p>"What?" His hand rubbed my back in comfort.</p><p>"You know, more than kissing-" Why was I embarrassed? I was Yuri fucking Plisetsky, the same 16 year old that wanted to skate Eros instead.</p><p>"Are you asking for sex?"</p><p>"Don't say it so simply!" I scoffed, looking away.</p><p>"Yura" He sighed, I could tell he was thinking, "Are you sure?"</p><p>"Yes" I pouted, "I wouldn't ask if I wasn't sure, honestly I'm kind of tired of sitting on your boners and not being able to do fucking anything about them" I rolled my eyes.</p><p>"You're 17"</p><p>"It's legal in Russia" I smirked.</p><p>"Its legal here too, but, I just, want to point it out" He sighed, "Also, you've been popping some too, so its not just me" He argued.</p><p>"I know"</p><p>"When?" He asked.</p><p>"Tomorrow night, I was thinking" I played with my hair.</p><p>"Alright, I can do that" He sat back, exhaling.</p><p>"You act like its a task"</p><p>"It is" He smiled, "It is our first time, so I have to be careful, it's not stressful, I'm just scared I'm going to hurt you" His hand rubbed my side.</p><p>"You won't, I know that" I kissed his lips.</p><p>"We should get ready, sorry to cut things off" He caressed my cheek.</p><p>"That's fine" I hugged him close, sighing it out, I got up.</p><p>"Are you taking a shower first?" He asked.</p><p>"I take long ones, remember?" I stretched, "You should go first"</p><p>"We could go together" He blankly put it.</p><p>My cheeks burnt up, "Are you serious?"</p><p>"Do you want me to be serious?" He smirked, "It's not like all of us after practice haven't seen eachother"</p><p>"Wait, you peep on me?" My eyes narrowed.</p><p>"I am your boyfriend, sometimes I glance-"</p><p>"Pervert" I pouted.</p><p>"You look too, I've caught you" He crossed his arms.</p><p>"It would save time, just, no peeping on eachother" I avoided his call out.</p><p>"Fine" He got up, heading to the bathroom, I heard the water go on.</p><p>I was nervous, particularly it wasn't damn fair, Otabek had an amazing body, how could I not stare?</p><p>This was just a shower, pretend its Viktor in the Onsen, you'll be fine-</p><p>I pulled off my jacket and put it on the bed, opening the bathroom door, Beka was already in there, naked. I untied my hair, letting it flow down, taking the rest of my clothing off.</p><p>I stared in the fogging mirror, what was so great about me?</p><p>
  <em>Shut the fuck up, who am I kidding?</em>
</p><p>I sighed and opened the curtains and stared at the wall, stepping in. I mentally face palmed that I left my shampoo and conditioner at home.</p><p>"Yura, you don't have to stare at the wall" He pulled me to look at him.</p><p>"Its embarrassing" I looked at his face, only his face.</p><p>"What? Just imagine you're showering with Yuuri or something" He joked.</p><p>"The difference is that piglet doesn't turn me on" I huffed, being pulled into the water, I yelped gently.</p><p>"Calm down" He hugged me, water seeping in my hair, covering my vision. I leaned into his chest, exhaling out my nerves.</p><p>
  <em>This was nice.</em>
</p><p>"I didn't bring my soaps" I groaned, he pushed my hair out of my face.</p><p>"I have mine" He caressed my face.</p><p>"You don't use 3 in 1s do you? Lilia will actually murder me if my hair is crunchy"</p><p>"What? Yura, I'm offended you'd think so low of me" He chuckled, "No, I don't, you'll be fine"</p><p>"Okay" I was relieved.</p><p>He grabbed a loofah and put soap on it, messing around with the water to get it soapy.</p><p>He put the loofah on me, "Woah! What are you doing?" I backed up a little.</p><p>"Cleaning you" He tilted his head.</p><p>"I'm not comfortable with that" I worried.</p><p>"Will you be comfortable after tomorrow evening?" He handed me the loofah.</p><p>"Yes" I fucking burned to my ears.</p><p>"Alright, I'll look away" He faced the wall, I quickly washed up.</p><p>"Here, have the thing" I handed it back, looking away. I was a pervert to be fucking honest, but was that so bad?</p><p>Otabek didn't care, he never seemed really all that embarrassed, although, he is 19 now. I shouldn't get too worked up, he was my boyfriend, we have been in the rink showers.</p><p>"Yura? Shampoo?" He offered, tapping my back, I held my hands out as he pushed out the liquid.</p><p>"Stop" I sighed, globbing the suds in my hair, pulling it all into one little bun-like soap mess.</p><p>"You look like a girl in the 1900s" He joked, I spiked his hair in return.</p><p>"Yeah? And you look like a 90s rock star" I giggled, pecking his lips.</p><p>We stopped laughing, and the awkward silence creeped in. I pushed my hair under the water to avoid it, avoid looking in his eyes, seeing desire, seeing myself back, and I hated that.</p><p>My hair fell like a waterfall in my face, the shampoo washing out. Otabek was right, he had good shampoo, a thought snuck in my head.</p><p>
  <em>A devious thought.</em>
</p><p>I would smell like Otabek, and that made me super happy. Maybe a little too happy, but I always loved the smell of him; it made me feel calm, and safe.</p><p>I pulled my hair back, flipping it while opening my eyes. Otabek was staring, really hard-core, "I said no peeping-" I looked away and looked back, heat rising to my cheeks.</p><p>"You're just so beautiful"</p><p>"I'm a man" I argued, chuckling, "Shouldn't I be handsome?"</p><p>"You're both, both beautiful and handsome" He kissed my cheek, his hair soaking down in his face, I pulled it back.</p><p>"You're beautiful" I kissed him, deepening our lips.</p><p>Soft kisses turned into solemn quiet glances. I felt so tired, not a tired like sleepy, emotionally fucking tired. He grabbed the conditioner, my head bubbling with concerns.</p><p>"Are you sure your family will like me?" I asked.</p><p>"Of course" He lathered his hands through my hair, making sure to put more conditioner at the ends. I leaned to his touch.</p><p>"I just, don't want them to be dissapointed" I rubbed my arm, "I already know I'm a fucking mess, with the whole Viktor incident-"</p><p>"Yura, you had a normal reaction to somebody important to you dying, it wasn't a mess" He washed the conditioner out of his hair.</p><p>"I know"</p><p>"You don't" He groaned, "You want to pretend all of your sadness is just overreaction, I don't know why, but when you figure it out, please tell me"</p><p>
  <em>I knew why.</em>
</p><p>"That was harsh" I looked away.</p><p>"You know I call it how it is" He kissed the top of my head, the water shutting off.</p><p>I uncomfortably got out and grabbed my towel, wrapping around my hips. I went back into the bedroom to grab my clothes, going back into the bathroom.</p><p>Otabek was basically already dressed, I wanted to talk, spit it out what I had in store. I just couldn't open my lips.</p><p>"Sorry Yura, you were right, that was harsh" He lovingly rubbed my side.</p><p>"You're fine, I know why I just-" I scoffed at the memories in my head, "Its hard to rethink" I brushed through my hair.</p><p>"Can you give me an idea?" He asked, gelling his hair.</p><p>I slammed my brush against the sink, putting on my clothes, Beka jumped.</p><p>"Sorry, I won't ask" He sighed.</p><p>"No, its about time you know, my dad died in a car accident and my mom couldn't deal with me so she fucking ran away" I scoffed, chuckling, "There's your idea"</p><p>"Yura, I didn't know-"</p><p>"Yeah, well its, how it is" I pulled up my hair into a ponytail, "Not that hard" I giggled, "Its better to pretend she's dead, my mom" I mentioned.</p><p>"I should'nt have pressured you" He pecked the back of my neck.</p><p>"Its fine, I'm fine now, I have everyone to support me, she missed out" I rolled my eyes.</p><p>Otabek kissed my cheek, "She did" His arms wrapped around my waist, as we both stared in the mirror.</p><p>"I hope I stay this height" I groaned, "I like being shorter, doesn't fuck up my jumps"</p><p>"Or doesn't make you taller than me?" He placed little pepper pecks on my skin.</p><p>"That too" I grabbed his hand and entwined our fingers.</p><p>"We should go" He pulled me with him out of the bathroom. I watched him get some things together while I grabbed my phone.</p><p>A simple nod from him told me he was ready to hit the road. I followed him out the door, the lock clicking, elevator buttons, and the echoing sounds of the garage let me swallow my pride.</p><p>I was nervous, "Yura" He directed my attention to the motorcycle helmet. I pulled on the helmet, clicking it, settling behind Beka, I wrapped my arms around him. "Are you good to go?"</p><p>"Yeah" I braced myself for the engine starting. We pulled out of the garage, my head snuggled against his back.</p><p>I wasn't afraid of the motorcycle, just first impressions scare me. They scare me especially on people I care about. There was something grandpa always said,</p><p><em>Yura, </em><em>it</em> <em>doesn't</em><em> matter who you are after </em><em>the</em><em> first impression, </em><em>they'll</em><em> always </em><em>view</em><em> you that way.</em></p><p>That resonated with me, dug deep in my skin. Viktor would always see me as a little kid, Yuuri would always see me as a cranky teen. Otabek would always view me as beautiful. That's how it'll always be.</p><p>We pulled up to this cream-colored mid-sized suburban home. I pulled off my helmet, my breath visible from the cold. Otabek smiled at me, giving me a soft peck.</p><p>"Are you sure about all of this?" I handed the helmet to him.</p><p>"Are you sure?" Otabek asked, "You seem terrified"</p><p>"I am, they're going to be my family someday" I fiddled with my hands.</p><p>"And as long as they know I'm happy, they should love you" He grabbed my hand, rubbing my fingers lovingly.</p><p>We walked up to the house loud laughing and demands came out of the house in a language I didn't understand.</p><p>Otabek opened the door, we walked in together, "Abek!-" I saw a young woman yell at Beka in an unrecognizable Russian sounding language.</p><p>"My mom needs help in the Kitchen, my aunt Zarina will walk you around-" He looked in my eyes with guilt.</p><p>"I understand" I smiled, kissing his cheek goodbye.</p><p>Otabek grinned in return, looking at his aunt, mumbling a few things. I just, couldn't understand anything going on around me. I watched Otabek glance at me with a simple nudge of a smirk, walking away.</p><p>"I thought Russian was the main language here-" I sighed.</p><p>"It is" His aunt spoke, "In this household we speak Kazakh, as respect to my grandma, or to Atabek, Great Gramsie"</p><p>"Atabek?" I shot a confused look.</p><p>"Otabek in Russian, Atabek in Kazakh" She frowned.</p><p>"I'll just stick to Beka" I looked away.</p><p>"You really need to learn his name if you're going to be my nephew's husband" She shot back in a passive-agressive tone.</p><p><em>Should I be offended?</em> "I'm sorry, I just don't know all that much about Kazakhstan, I grew up in Moscow, then St. Petersburg" I mentioned.</p><p>"I was actually surprised when Atabek brought a Russian home, especially knowing how much they hurt us" She put away a few things.</p><p>"Isn't that a bit racist?" I dared to say, I was trying to be polite.</p><p>"Racist?" She laughed, "It's basic history"</p><p>"I didn't mean it that way, it's just you make it out like I should be asham-"</p><p>"You should" She scoffed, "Honestly, you can't be racist to somebody who's not oppressed" She put her hands on her hips.</p><p>'<em>Don't boast about Russia'</em></p><p>"I'm not like that, I don't know what you've been through, but I know I love him, and I don't want to hurt his family" I started, "I want to learn about his culture, I want to pass that onto our kids, but you being close-minded isn't going to get us places" I argued, standing my ground without being rude.</p><p>She seemed angry, but then surprised, "Gramsie's gonna love you, you've got her spark" A sigh erupted from her lungs, "We've been through a lot under the USSR, I just wanted to test you" She smiled.</p><p>I breathed out, relieved, "I thought-"</p><p>"Yeah, just something I always test before letting a Russian into the house, my son brought a snobby one home, and Gramsie almost killed her-"</p><p>"Killed?"</p><p>"Oh yeah, she grabbed a broom and almost beat the crap out of her" She laughed, "She deserved it"</p><p>"What did she do?" My eyes blew wide.</p><p>"Told all of us that all Kazakhs should've died in the cold war" She grimaced, "So Gramsie stood up and beat the crap out of her, a 90 year old woman" She giggled.</p><p>We walked in the livingroom, a few kids running around, mainly all around this older woman. "Is that Gramsie?"</p><p>"Yeah" She held rolled napkins on her hips.</p><p>"Does she speak Russian?"</p><p>"Of course, she was forced to" Aunt Zarina walked to the dining room.</p><p>I stood in the living room, looking around at all of the old pictures, some from Gulags, camps, and old houses. The walls were covered in embroidery, with more modern photos of Otabek and his family.</p><p>"Young, bala, come here" My ears ticked to the spoken Russian, I turned to the older lady.</p><p>"Da?" I sat down in the recliner, some of the kids waddling to the chair where I was.</p><p>"You're the one Atabek brought home?" She smiled, her wrinkles bringing a homey feeling to the room.</p><p>"I am" I simply replied, picking up one of the kids.</p><p>"I wouldn't have thought he would've pulled in such a handsome man" She joked.</p><p>"Thank you" I rubbed the back of the tiny kid.</p><p>"I was getting worried my young Atabek wasn't going to find anyone, being almost 20" She sighed out, "Even if you're Russian" Her dimples framed her face.</p><p>"I'm sorry about what my people did to you" I looked in her eyes.</p><p>"You are nothing but a bala, don't worry about that" She chuckled, her hands reached out to my hair, "Is it real?"</p><p>"My hair, of course" I mumbled.</p><p>"You must be full Russian to have this bright pretty hair" Her hands told stories with how old they were.</p><p>"Thank you" I smiled, "I love your headress" I complimented.</p><p>"In Kazakhstan, your veil shows your age, I wear a Kimeshek to show my faith to God and my husband"</p><p>"That's beautiful" I petted through the sleeping kids hair in my lap.</p><p>"I'm so glad my Atabek brought home such a respectful young man" She nodded in response, "If only his cousin could follow in his footsteps"</p><p>"I heard you beat her with a broom"</p><p>"Yes, I did, she was a spoiled brat, rich and not good for the family" She sighed.</p><p>"Beka is rich" I joked.</p><p>"What a cute name" She paused, "But, he's rich for working hard, that lady had blood in her past to be rich in that communist shithole" Her dissapointment cried through her expression.</p><p>"I'm rich" I mumbled, "Sometimes I forget that"</p><p>"Your family?" She asked.</p><p>"No, my family was okay, not rich, I'm just-" I paused, "I'm a skater like Beka"</p><p>"No wonder, you know he always used to have this crush on a skater like you, his old room here is filled with pictures" She nudged me.</p><p>"Yuri Plisetsky?"</p><p>"Yeah, that one"</p><p>"Gramsie" I giggled, "That is me" I laughed.</p><p>She belted out a laugh, "Atabek is stubborn, swore he was going to have him" She wiped away a few tears from laughter.</p><p>"I think that's cute" I felt my cheeks heat up.</p><p>"He was a cute kid-" She paused, pointing to a load of binders, "Do me a favor, bala, get those photo albums for me"</p><p>"Sure" I soothed the toddler in my lap, getting up, I pulled out the binders, setting them on the dining table. Her fragile hands grabbed the first one, turning through the pages she pointed to a little baby in her hands.</p><p>"This is Atabek" Her smile was so contagious.</p><p>"Zarina, and Alikhan are my only grandkids, my daughter Amina was born in 1947, died from cancer 10 years ago-" She teared up, though grinning like it was yesterday.</p><p>"Atabek is the oldest great-grandkid, Eli being a year younger than him" She explained.</p><p>"Is this a grandkid?" I asked, gesturing the kid in my lap.</p><p>"Those are Zarina's triplets, you've got the calmest one" She patted the kids head lovingly.</p><p>"Inara is Atabek's younger sister" She showed me a photo of Beka holding a little baby, "He was so happy to get to see her before going to Canada"</p><p>"He's so cute" I looked at the messy hair Beka had.</p><p>"He talked about you non-stop when he came home, and thats when I knew Atabek wasn't like his younger cousin Eli" She turned the page, "Atabek didn't have girls scrambling his head, he only had a boy with beautiful Jade eyes"</p><p>"I'm glad I met Beka" I held her hand, "Thank you for sharing his childhood" I lifted my hand away.</p><p>"Of course, anytime, bala"</p><p>"What are we looking at here?" A man walked in, looking about 20 or so.</p><p>"Alikhan, we were just looking at photos of Abek" She patted next to her.</p><p>"Ah, I remember these photos" He looked over at me, sitting down.</p><p>"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Altin" I gave him a frank grin.</p><p>"Its nice to meet the man my boy has been talking about non-stop" He and Gramsie chuckled together.</p><p>"I guess Beka really likes me" I mumbled.</p><p>"Likes? Hon, he loves you" Aunt Zarina interrupted, walking back into the kitchen.</p><p>"I know" I looked to the ground.</p><p>"Would you guys stop embarrassing me!" I heard Otabek call out from the kitchen.</p><p>"You know, you should check out Abek's old room-"</p><p>"No!" Beka came out of the kitchen, his torso covered in a frilly apron, "I swear if you-"</p><p>"I think you'll like it, Yuri" His dad totally ignored him.</p><p>"Honestly I think I will" I smirked at Beka.</p><p>"Yura, I swear" His face was beet red.</p><p>"I already know about the posters, what could be that bad?" I got up, following behind his father.</p><p>"Yura-" He pouted, hearing his mom yell for him back.</p><p>I giggled like a little shit, smirking to myself, the door to Otabek's room was a teal green color like his room. His dad opened the door; Beka had a quilt on top of his bed that was flower and teal themed, his accent color was burnt turqiose, while the walls green, littered with pictures of me.</p><p>I awed the photos, a lot of promotional ones but they were pretty. It sounds selfish to compliment myself this way but, when I skate it makes me look like a different person.</p><p>There were some idol pictures of Viktor, but almost every young skater looked up to him. I looked at the old desk, covered in pictures of skating buds Beka had.</p><p>"Its cool to think Otabek looked up to me all of those years" I ran my fingers over the laptop.</p><p>"Anyways, I'm going to head back to family you can stay here if you like" He walked away without any other words.</p><p>I opened the laptop, was it weird to snoop, probably, but I was going to do it anyways. I pulled up to a password screen, I tried my first name, my last name my names together. I tried his name, his family names.</p><p>And then a hint came on the screen.</p><p>
  <em>Birthday?</em>
</p><p>I tried October 31st, 1999.<em> Wrong. </em>I tried most of the family birthdays, any significant friend's birthday's. <em>Wrong</em>. Thank God this was an old laptop because it would've shut down by now.</p><p>Then I entered, <em>March 1st, 2001</em>.</p><p>Bingo.</p><p>The thing opened up to a homepage of me. I was starting to realize how obsessed with me, Otabek was. I stopped and thought about this.</p><p>Otabek would be embarrassed if I looked through his things without permission. I closed the laptop. He deserved boundaries, at least that's what I looked at online.</p><p>"Yura, I'm so sorry about everything-" He stopped like a deer in headlights, looking at me, then the hand on the computer, "Did you look in that?" His voice sounded deathly.</p><p>"No, I couldn't figure out the password" I lied.</p><p>"You're lying to me, its easy" He stared into my eyes like bullets.</p><p>"Alright, I opened it for 3 seconds and then thought about how you deserve boundries" I honestly said.</p><p>"You didn't open any old tabs?"</p><p>"Нет" I shook my head, a sigh of relief escaped his nostrils as he plopped on the bed.</p><p>"What? Do you have porn of me or something?" I laughed. His eyes blew wide, "You're joking?"</p><p>"No, why would I joke about that?!" He snapped at me.</p><p>"Like actual porn? Or porn with people that resemble me" I asked, crossing my legs sassy like.</p><p>"I'm not going to answer that" He said sternly.</p><p>"I'm going to find out anyways when I marry you" I shrugged, "Plus..." I scooted towards him, "I do it too~" I whispered in his ear, "I've got lots of porn with guys that look just like you" I ran my fingers down his torso.</p><p>"Yura-" He gulped, "Stop" He begged, oh, it was cute when he begged.</p><p>"Alright" I kissed his cheek.</p><p>"To answer your question, it was resemblance" He confessed, so bright red he looked like a tomato.</p><p>"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, I think its cute that you have all of these posters of me, I should get some of you to be honest" I smiled, smooching his lips.</p><p>"Yura, it's not just that-" He paused.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Do you know how I found you in Barcelona when I picked you up? The second time you met me separate from Novice?" He asked.</p><p>"No" I shrugged nonchalantly.</p><p>"Promise you won't freak out" He cupped my cheeks.</p><p>"I promise" I pecked his hand.</p><p>"I'm the president of the Yuri's angels" He mumbled quietly.</p><p>I wasn't surprised, it was humorous, but made sense. I held in a laugh, coughing a few times to cover it up, but I couldn't.</p><p>"Its not funny!" He pouted, I giggled even louder.</p><p>"I think its- ha" I bubbled out more laughter, "Pretty funny"</p><p>"Yura" He frowned.</p><p>"There's no presents in that closet is there?" I asked, giggling in-between.</p><p>"Where?"</p><p>"In your closet, its all merch of me, isn't it?" I asked.</p><p>"Da" He mumbled, I fell into more laughter, "What is so funny?!" He snapped.</p><p>I got serious quick, "I think its funny for several reasons" I added, "One, because you're scared of this" I sighed, "Two because you're a scary looking hard-core guy who's into a pretty skater e-boy, and the president of a fangirl base for said e-boy" I smiled, "Three, you're saying all of these things in a frilly apron" I pointed it out.</p><p>"You're not weirded out?" He asked, with puppy-dog eyes.</p><p>"No, Beka, I think its cool to have a boyfriend that worships me" I added, "Not, like, I like it in a slavery kind of way" I got awkward.</p><p>"Alright" He hugged me close.</p><p>"Were you scared I was going to leave you?" I pet through his hair.</p><p>"Yeah" He mumbled into my clothing.</p><p>"Oh, Otabek-" I peppered kisses on his head, "I love you, I'm not going anywhere" I lifted his chin, pulling him into a deep kiss.</p><p>He whined back, which was absolutely adorable. My hands ran down his torso, pushing him down on the bed.</p><p>"Yura, we're at my parent's house" His hand rested on my thigh, running his hand up it.</p><p>"I just wanted to cuddle" I rested on his chest.</p><p>"Bullshit" He giggled, I smacked his arm in return, "Ow!"</p><p>"That's what you get" I pouted, kissing his neck a few times.</p><p>"I love you" He ran his fingers through my ponytail.</p><p>"I love you too" I kissed his lips.</p><p>-</p><p>"Happy birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you~" His whole family sang.</p><p>The table was covered in sweets, lunch plates and half eaten appetizers. I blew out the candles, not really wishing for anything.</p><p>I had everything I wanted, nothing else was worth it.</p><p>"Cake!" Inara jumped up and down.</p><p>I watched Beka's mom cut up the cake, swiftly handing out pieces to everyone.</p><p>"Make sure, Nala, the triplets can't have that much" Zarina reminded her.</p><p>"I know" Beka's mom called out, handing me a piece.</p><p>It was the day after the family reunion, and I was 17 years old now. I found out a few things visiting Kazakhstan, Otabek's family is so precious. Otabek as a kid is cute, Otabek's actual name is Atabek, but he likes it when I call him the Russian version. Otabek's mom is quite strict, and-</p><p>"Yura eat the cake so I can bite ittt!" Inara whined.</p><p>Otabek's sister is bratty, but in the sibling kind of way that she'll grow out of. She even fought with me about who Beka loved more, it was so cute, that I had to humor it.</p><p>We all ate our pieces while the kids walked all over eachother. Being with family most of the time makes me jealous, but maybe this time its different because I can think of this as my family.</p><p>I never had a big culture or great-grandparents to look up to. But one day, I'll be an Altin, and my kids will too.</p><p>Its better to hold that wish, and maybe that's what I'll keep.</p><p>"What'd you wish for Yura?" Otabek asked, I smiled from ear to ear.</p><p>"Its a secret" I giggled.</p><p>
  <em>A family. </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 20, My 17th Birthday Present</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> <b>WARNING: SMUT CHAPTER</b> </em>
</p><p>We left that cream colored house, my bag filled with a few gifts from his family. Holding around his waist, I started to get confused, we weren't headed back to the apartments. This was definitely a different route, maybe we were headed to a special place or a date.</p><p>If I knew anything about Kazakhstan, being gay was seen pretty bad around here. My questions really ceased as we pulled into a shopping court. Beka tipped his bike stand down as I got off, pulling my helmet off, handing it to him.</p><p>"What are we doing here?" I asked.</p><p>"Taking you shopping, just follow me" He stepped up to the deck with shopping stores connected to it.</p><p>"Alright"</p><p>"Hey, Yura" He stepped near me, giving me a hug, his hands played with my hair, pulling out the ponytail.</p><p>"What's that for?" I asked, hair falling in my face.</p><p>"I don't want us to be harrassed" He mumbled.</p><p>"I'm not a girl" I argued.</p><p>"I'm aware of that" He sighed, "Is it bad that I want to expirence pda with my boyfriend without some old man down my throat?" He reached to hold my hand.</p><p>"Okay, just as long as you-"</p><p>"I'm not into women, or trans women, is that what you're worried about?" He looked in my eyes, that was like Beka, always blunt.</p><p>"I didn't-" I paused, "I get it" I entwined our fingers.</p><p>"I love you" He whispered, pulling me with him, our hands clasped together.</p><p>We walked down the deck, not a single look came from other's, I guess this is what Beka intended. I kissed his cheek, smiling to myself.</p><p>We took a turn into this store, I didn't really notice what kind it was until I saw the walls. Now I understand why Otabek wanted me to pass as a girl.</p><p>My cheeks were on fire, "What are we doing here?" I whispered.</p><p>"Did you expect me to just get some cheap stuff from the pharmacy?" He asked.</p><p>"This is embarrassing!" I whispered loudly.</p><p>"I'd rather get high quality lube and condoms from here than at some supermarket" He sighed.</p><p>"Its a sex shop" I whined.</p><p>"So?" He giggled, "You're basically an adult, this is normal"</p><p>I bit my lip, "But, what do I look for?"</p><p>"Anything you want, I'll buy it, as for the lube and stuff, I'll get those" He rubbed my hand in comfort.</p><p>"This is so fucking embarrassing" I pouted.</p><p>"You'll be fine" He smiled, "Just look around, I'll be by the lube" He kissed my cheek, walking away.</p><p>I looked at the wall in front of me, fluffy handcuffs, lingerie and wigs littered the options. I looked at the lacy panties with leopard print, this was fucking weird.</p><p>My mind flashed with the thought of wearing them for him. I took a glance at Otabek, looking through options. He said anything, right?</p><p>I pulled it off the shelf, in my size, feeling so awkward. I moved on to the next wall, with vibrators.</p><p>To tell the truth the only time I came across things like this was when I accidentally went through Viktor's shit. Of course, I was disgusted at 14 looking at those. But now, all I could fucking think about was having this shoved up myself moaning Beka's name. It played in my head like a song.</p><p>I grabbed one and read the back, 10 different settings? What would make you need 10? This one was quite big, but when I read the back it said 4 inches?</p><p>I know personally I was 6, but my girth lacked in that department. I also had more to grow, at least in groin wise. I've never seen Beka erect, he could be anything-</p><p>I was terrified of that, maybe I should ask? It was fine, since I needed to prep right?</p><p>I walked over to him, holding the lingerie and toy. "Beka?" I tapped his shoulder.</p><p>"What?" He turned, I was probably so red in the face.</p><p>"How um, big-" I coughed gently out of embarrassment, "How big do I need to prep myself for?" I asked, looking away.</p><p>"What do you mean?" His eyebrow arched behind his shades.</p><p>"What's your condom size?"</p><p>"I'm buying those, remember?" He shook the box in front of me.</p><p>"I know- I just-" I scratched my head.</p><p>"What, get on with it" He crossed his arms, "Is it about the toy?"</p><p>"Yes, and no-"</p><p>"Yura, its fine to be blunt"</p><p>I mentally punched myself, "I need to know how big your dick is to prep myself with a toy" I rolled my eyes.</p><p>"9 inches"</p><p>"9-" I choked, "You're joking"</p><p>"No, I'm not" He smirked, "It might be more, I did measure 2 years ago, when I was 17" He shrugged.</p><p>"More?" I looked away, I somehow felt a lot more lacking with size.</p><p>"Hey, Yura, don't be too intimidated, we'll be okay" He kissed my cheek.</p><p>"Its not that, I just feel lacking, ya'know" I tipped my head down to hint.</p><p>He laughed, <em>asshole</em>, "I don't care, Yura, I love you" He whispered in my ear.</p><p>"I love you too" I whimpered, walking away in a defeated state. I moved to the larger vibrators.</p><p>I looked at the 10 inches one, there was no way, that wasn't going to fit-</p><p>I thought 7 inches would be a good fit to start out on. I picked a black generic colored one, if grandpa saw me now, he'd be so dissapointed.</p><p><em>This was</em> <em> my </em> <em>first</em> <em> toy.</em></p><p>My eyes ticked to the fluffy handcuffs. <em>That was </em><em>too</em><em> much.</em> I caved, grabbing the black feathery handcuffs with fake pleather attached to it. I gulped, this was enough, I was satisfied with my choices.</p><p>I headed to Beka, checking the lube section. "You done?" He asked.</p><p>"Yeah" I nodded, holding the things in my arms.</p><p>"Fluffy handcuffs?" He quirked a smile.</p><p>"So?" I mumbled, gulping my guilt.</p><p>"No, its nothing, just observing" He chuckled, showing the lubes, "Do you want them flavored or not, thats what I wanted to know before we head out-"</p><p>"I actually want to know how everything is, so, no-"</p><p>"Alright, let's go to the ringer" He walked to the register.</p><p>I put my things on the counter, looking away as I hid behind Beka. "You two plan on something fun tonight?" The clerk joked.</p><p>"Yeah, just the regular you know?" Beka joked back.</p><p>"Is it her first time in the shop?" He asked.</p><p>"Yeah, she's a little embarrassed" Otabek entwined our fingers.</p><p>"My girlfriend was the same way, women are like that the couple first times, then they go crazy" He giggled, ringing up the rest.</p><p>"Ah" Beka replied, getting out his credit card.</p><p>"You two are cute together, hope you have a great time" He winked, handing the bag, me and Beka walked out the shop.</p><p>I hit him on the arm, "What the hell was that?!" I pouted.</p><p>"The shop or??"</p><p>"That clerk" I mumbled.</p><p>"Thats how they usually are, sex positive" He chuckled.</p><p>"I guess" I hid under my hoodie.</p><p>"Yura, you've got nothing to be embarrassed about" He kissed my cheek.</p><p>"Is that all we came for?" I asked.</p><p>"No, we've gotta go to the pharmacy for enemas" He mumbled.</p><p>"Can I stay by the motorcycle?" I puppy-dog eyed him.</p><p>"If you want" He shrugged.</p><p>"Alright, I'll wait then" I headed to the motorcycle, sitting against the seat.</p><p>"I'll see you in a bit!" He yelled from the deck.</p><p>I held the bag from the store in my hand, I was so scared of this, but so excited. This was how it was right?</p><p>I feel like I keep questioning myself. I loved Beka, I trusted him, he'd never hurt me. It was normal to want all of this, its kind of corny to think of.</p><p>2 years ago if you told me I would loose my virginity at 17, I would've laughed. I thought sex back then was stupid, something I'd never have.</p><p>But now I'm basically trembling thinking about it, and Beka was so damn calm. How could he be so calm? It made me question myself, or maybe he just was good at hiding his fear.</p><p>I stared in the bag at the fuzzy handcuffs, an exhale shaping my self-disappointment, "Hey cutie, is that your ride?" I looked up at a group of guys.</p><p>"Yeah, it is" I said in my deepest voice I could muster.</p><p>"Holy shit dude, my bad" One of them giggled, "Could've fooled me" They walked away.</p><p>That was the thing about passing as a girl, getting hit on, annoying as it was it was nice to know I was attractive. I watched Otabek come back down the deck.</p><p>"Miss me?" He kissed my lips, both of us putting our helmets on, the bags going in the storage.</p><p>"A little bit" I giggled, holding around his waist, the motorcycle started up, as we sped home.</p><p>This was the part I loathed, coming home. We picked up some food on the way, followed by the usual garage parking, and elevator buttons.</p><p>We ate burgers in silence, my head heavy with the coming difficulties.</p><p>"Do you want to still do this?" Otabek asked, looking in my eyes.</p><p>"After all of the stuff we bought, it'd be a waste" I mentioned, wiping off ketchup on my mouth.</p><p>"I don't care about that, I care about you" Otabek narrowed his eyes in seriousness, "Money is just money"</p><p>"I'm just scared, normal scared you'know" I tried to not think about it.</p><p>"I'm scared too" He mentioned.</p><p>"You are?" I scoffed.</p><p>"Terrified" He deadpanned, "I know I'm not trembling like you, or visibly worried but, this is how I deal with fear"</p><p>I was trembling, and he noticed it, "I just, don't want to be dissapointing"</p><p>"We're just scared for no reason" He held my hand, entwining our fingers.</p><p>"Lets just get it over with" I rolled my eyes.</p><p>"No" Beka argued, "I want this to be good for us, not just me" He smiled, love tinged that stupid stare.</p><p>"You can't promise that, I mean, look at me Beka!" I threw my hands up, "You're 9 inches and I'm the same height, but I'm physically tiny, let's not kid ourselves, its going to hurt" I looked back at my food.</p><p>"Not if we do it right" He mumbled out like a promise.</p><p>"You can't promise that, but thats the beauty of it right?" I tilted my head, "Even if it hurts, its supposed to be amazing emotionally?" I smirked, chomping the rest of my food.</p><p>"Yura-"</p><p>"I'm taking a bath, and then using the enemas, I'm tired of waiting around" I sighed out, crumbling the hamburger wrapper, tossing it in the trash.</p><p>"Don't just decide this-"</p><p>"I'm not! Fuck!" I screamed, breathing to calm down, "I just, I'm so goddamn horny, its irritating, I'm sorry, everything is embarrassing, and I love you-"</p><p>"I understand" He cut me off.</p><p>"Alright, thank you for dinner" I kissed his cheek, walking into the room, I grabbed the prep stuff, sighing to myself.</p><p>I ran the bath to erase my thoughts, stripping my clothes off. I dipped in the water, sighing at the heat hitting my skin. I carefully washed myself up and down, dipping my hair in the water, I used the shampoo Beka had, and the conditioner.</p><p>I was clean, but I felt filthy, guilt erupted in my head. All of these horny past thoughts attacked my head, at least I got the first step of prep done, getting it up.</p><p>It wasn't that difficult with Otabek, I loved him, and on top of those feelings, I wanted him to bend me over like nothing and use me.</p><p>I blew bubbles in the water, trying to calm down.</p><p><em>I wish he </em> <em>didn't</em> <em> buy condoms so he could fill me-</em></p><p><em>Jesus christ! </em>I groaned out, was I really loosing myself? If Beka could read my mind, he'd die of horny, yeah, just horny.</p><p>The condoms were good though, we needed to be safe. I unplugged the tub, standing up, wringing out my hair.</p><p>I patted it dry, brushing out my hair, I pulled out my makeup. Lillia would kill me if she knew what I was using performance makeup for.</p><p>I put on eyeliner, and basic flavored lipgloss.</p><p>"Fuck" I mumbled, grabbing my toothbrush, I forgot the shit before the gloss.</p><p>I spat out the toothpaste foam wiping my mouth from leftover toothpaste, applying the gloss again. I applied some shimmer on my cheeks, shoulders, collarbones and hips.</p><p>I looked at the enemas, this was the most terrible part. I mentally blanked doing this shit, it was to be the safest after all.</p><p>When that was done, I looked in the bag, pulling the vibrator out, I washed it as the instructions ordered. I put in the batteries Beka bought from the pharmacy.</p><p>"Ah!" I yelped, dropping it, it was so loud it scared me. The thing rattled on the ground.</p><p>I picked it up and turned it off, sighing in relief, "Gosh"</p><p>I washed it again, setting it on the counter, I sat on the bathroom matt, lubing up my fingers. Maybe Beka was supposed to do this?</p><p>I tried my best to stretch myself out, my whole face on fire. I pulled out my fingers, getting out the lingerie.</p><p>I slipped it on, looking in the mirror, I looked like a hot mess, and my boner was showing through. I needed to have confidence in myself.</p><p><em>I was hot, Otabek </em> <em>found</em> <em> me attractive.</em></p><p>I reminded myself, I stumbled to the door, my fingers trembling at the door. I loved him, it was going to be okay. He wouldn't hurt me, it was alright.</p><p>I turned the knob, or at least in my head, it didn't turn, I was scared, I wanted to back out. It was too far to go back. I aggressively ignored my thoughts, opening the door, I walked slowly.</p><p>Otabek was looking at his phone, on his bed, his reading glasses on. I coughed awkwardly, hand on my hip.</p><p>His eyes looked up, his phone dropping out of his hand, a shade of red planting on his face like a fire.</p><p>"Is it, g-good?" I asked, "I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do-" I trailed off, his eyes beckoned up and down.</p><p>"Can I touch you?" He pulled off his glasses, moving to the end of the bed.</p><p>"Yeah" I was shaking so bad, his soft but tough hands trailed up my side, I shook more to his touch.</p><p>"Are you okay?" He asked me, his thumb rubbing my side affectionately.</p><p>"Just, terrified" I mumbled.</p><p>"Its okay" He pulled me on top of him, I gasped slightly, my seat planted right on his erection.</p><p>"Beka?" I asked, his lips kissed my neck, and up my jawline, my eyes fluttered in excitement.</p><p>"Is this okay?" He searched in my eyes, hands haulted before my chest.</p><p>"Yes" I answered, his hand pinched at my nipples, kissing more into my collarbone, I felt emotions pour into my nerves.</p><p>My breathing got erratic, he softly sucked into my skin, a moan finally reached my lips. His kisses trailed down  to my chest, sucking deeply on my nipples.</p><p>I threw my hair back, my hands exploring his hair. "Fuck" I murmured between a moan, flipping us gently, he kissed more down my torso.</p><p>"Yes?" He eyed me, playing with the hem of the underwear.</p><p>"Mnn" I nodded, the lace falling down my milky thighs.</p><p>"You're so beautiful" His eyes fixated on my whole body, his hand inching up my thigh, he bent down, kissing me again. I loved the way he tasted, the way he lightly bit my lip, the way his tough hands dragged against my skin.</p><p>"Fuck, Beka" I moaned, his hand traveling to the lube pump, three squirts, and his hand finally touched my aching erection.</p><p>"You sound so pretty" He whispered, his hand delicately traveling up and down my length. And, fuck, it felt good.</p><p>"If you keep doing-" He kissed me again, my eyes falling shut as I moaned through kisses, my hair becoming a mess.</p><p>"Are you gonna cum?" He heartily chuckled, god that was so fucking hot. His voice, oh, god.</p><p>I yelped, biting my lips to quiet down, I didn't want to admit how good this felt. Masturbation never felt like this, maybe it was the attention, maybe it was the way his hand felt, maybe it was the emotions. But I enjoyed it every second.</p><p>His kisses turned frantic, traveling down my neck, he bit down lightly. I moaned loudly, my lips quivering like crazy, I was gonna cum, for sure.</p><p>"Louder" He moaned in my ears, I bit on my lips, rolling over the edge, I screamed lightly, tangling my hands in his hair.</p><p>I breathed out slowly, coming off my high, I looked down at my stomach, covered in white splatter. I was so embarrassed, but looking up at Beka made all of that go away.</p><p>"I love you" I mumbled, he bent down and kissed me, my eyes watering from overstimulation. Not pleasure, but happiness, Beka looked so in love with me, it made me emotional.</p><p>"I love you too, Yura" He continued to kiss me, I pulled up his shirt, in one motion he threw it off. We backed more into the bed, my head falling into the pillows.</p><p>I tugged on his pants, our kisses becoming wreckless and breathy, I heard the clank of his belt unbunckling. His pants came off and all I could see past the continual kisses were the tight uncomfortable boxers Beka displayed.</p><p>"Be-" I smooched him back again, "Beka-" I hooked my arms around his enthusiastic kisses. I loved the amount of kissing but we needed to get to the next part, Otabek was becoming mind-drunk.</p><p>"Otabek" I pushed him off gently.</p><p>"Sorry, did you want to stop?" He asked.</p><p>"No-" He went back to kissing me, I was being smothered, "Otabek!" I snapped, "Slow down" I deeply kissed him, sitting in front of him.</p><p>"Sorry, I just, really love you" He smiled, caressing my face.</p><p>"Me too, but-" I pulled on his boxers, pecking his cheek, I looked down and mentally shit myself.</p><p>"Are you okay?"</p><p>"Fine" I peeped, it was huge, this wasn't fair, I looked at mine and then his, back again.</p><p>"Its okay" He pecked my neck, rubbing my side.</p><p>"How can I even compete?" I whispered, pouting.</p><p>"Don't, we're different people Yura" He kissed me again, pushing me back against the bed.</p><p>"Alright" I agreed, his hands feathered down my torso, opening my thighs again. He pulled over the lube, pumping a lot on his fingers.</p><p>"Are you sure about this?" He asked me, I looked in his eyes.</p><p>"Yes" I answered, thats what I loved about Otabek, he cared even in the most acceptable moments. My body was screaming yes, and so was my body language, but asking again made me know he truly wanted it to be good for us both.</p><p>His fingers dipped inside of me, it was uncomfortable, but that wasn't the job to accomplish. He added more as I got used to the feeling inside, he placed more kisses on my jawline, trying to make me as comfortable as he could.</p><p>"I'm going to go in now" He warned me, I looked at the ceiling, sighing out to calm myself. I heard the lube pump squirt again. My heartbeat got so loud in my head, it was like a drum.</p><p>I felt him at my rim, Beka's other hand caressed my thigh, my eyes dashed to his face.</p><p>I burned that look of utter lust into my memory, ignoring the pain, he bent down and kissed my lips. It hurt, fuck it did, but I just couldn't care in that moment, I only wanted him. My eyes started crying out of nothing, it was emotions, god so many I couldn't keep up.</p><p>"You too?" Otabek wiped my tears, his eyes peppering like a waterfall, I cupped his face, wiping them away with my thumbs.</p><p>"Y-yeah" I choked, sniffling, "God I love you, Otabek" I lifted up and kissed him.</p><p>"I love you too" He giggled through tears, kissing me so hard and deeply it felt like he'd never let go.</p><p>"Don't ever go after this" I leaned our foreheads together, getting used to the pain.</p><p>"I won't, ever" He pushed me against the bed, moving inside me very slowly.</p><p>I bit my lip to hold back tears, it didn't feel good, but just the attention got me through. He sped up, my hair stuffed around the pillows, nails dug into his back.</p><p>"Beka!" I moaned, that spot being hit, and it felt so good, his kisses becoming so uneven, broken by groans.</p><p>"Yura, I'm, I'm sorry, I can't-" He placed kisses behind my ear, thrusting harder, my voice broke, moaning into his neck, my toes curled.</p><p>I felt him fill me, my breaths calming down, I didn't orgasm, but seeing Beka like this was worth it, "That was fast" I joked.</p><p>"Sorry, I'll get you off, shit-" He looked down.</p><p>"What?" I asked, looking down.</p><p>"Don't look!" He covered my eyes, grabbing napkins.</p><p>"Beka, let me see-" I pulled his hands off.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, fuck-" He cleaned up.</p><p>"I don't care about the condom" I smiled, "I know you're clean"</p><p>"It's not that" He looked very scared.</p><p>"What-" I looked at the napkins, blood covered them.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I tried to-"</p><p>"Its fine, Otabek, I expected this to happen, like I said, I'm tiny, you're big" I pulled him into a kiss, he teared up.</p><p>"I'm sorry" He looked so sad for hurting me.</p><p>"I'll be better stretched next time, we didn't really have any time to do that" I mumbled, peppering kisses on his face.</p><p>"I didn't want to hurt you" He looked in my eyes.</p><p>"And you didn't, I'm so happy right now" My eyes fluttered into a soft kiss, "I love you" I kissed him deeper.</p><p>"I love you too" He kissed the side of my head.</p><p>"Beka, could you-"</p><p>"Oh yeah, sorry I was worried" He grabbed the lube.</p><p>He jacked me off until I tore over the edge. I plopped onto the bed afterwards, we exchanged soft kisses until we fell into deep sleep together.</p><p>I felt so at peace, and had an amazing dream about a future with Beka. It was the first time in a while I had such good sleep.</p><p>-</p><p>When I woke up, Otabek wasn't in the bed, I sat up slowly, turning to the end of the bed. I planted my feet on the ground, my tangled hair shaped my shoulders as I lifted up to walk.</p><p>"Fuck!" I fell, grabbing an end table.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Otabek rushed in, helping me get up.</p><p>"I didn't think it was going to be this bad" I sighed, my legs trembled, "I need a bath if thats okay with you?" I looked up to him, the guilt in his eyes could be seen from a mile away.</p><p>"Sorry" He mumbled, "Of course I can help you" His dissapointment filled the room.</p><p>"Beka, it's just my hips, they'll be fine tomorrow" I walked with his help to the bathroom.</p><p>"I still hurt you" He lifted me into the bathtub.</p><p>"Its fine" I grumbled, "Stop worrying about it, I wouldn't trade it for anything" I smiled to myself, conscious memories filled my brain.</p><p>"If you say so" He turned on the bath water, I pulled my feet in, "Do you need anything else, kitten?" He pushed my hair behind my ear.</p><p>"Water or something to drink" I mumbled.</p><p>"Alright" He kissed the top of my head, leaving to the kitchen, I grabbed the soap and poured it in to make bubbles.</p><p>The hot water felt great against my aching back, I sighed out, thinking about last night. It made me appreciate my relationship a little bit more. Otabek knew me in every way, and still loved me.</p><p>"I brought you lemonade tea" He handed me a glass with the liquid, I sucked it down slowly.</p><p>"Thank you, Beka, and for last night too" I pulled him into a kiss.</p><p>"You're welcome"</p><p>I loved him so much, gosh, with nothing standing in my way. He cared for me so much, I don't know what I did to luck out but, thank you.</p><p>
  <em>Thank you, god.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 21, The Wedding</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>-Yuuri's P.O.V-</b>
</p><p>I stared in the mirror, my vision blurry with built up tears; I could barely see my white tuxedo. I only made out shape the blue bow attached to it, I could solve this problem by blinking, but I wouldn't. I wasn't going to cry just yet.</p><p>On top of all, I was so nervous for the next 30 minutes of my life. I couldn't bring myself to even picture it, even with the rehearsal just yesterday.</p><p>We had traveled all the way from Russia to Hawaii. I thought at first, that me and Viktor would just sign the papers here in Hilo, have our honeymoon, and finalize it with a traditional Japanese wedding back in my hometown.</p><p>But all of that was cut short when my Mom and Mrs. Nikiforov became best friends with just one visit.</p><p>Valentina did say she was a social butterfly.</p><p>With that in mind, both of them convinced us a huge ceremony in America would be better. But, it was more of Viktor's choice, and when he sets his mind to something, it's finished.</p><p>So here I am, shaking out of fear about to be married to the love of my life. For obviously the rest of time, until I die.</p><p>
  <em>There's no one I'd rather spend the rest of my life with, but Viktor Nikiforov. </em>
</p><p>He's my inspiration, loyalty, love, life, best friend, idol, fears, trust, and my hope. I love him so much, his heart shaped smile, ocean blue eyes, shining silver hair, and his soft kisses.</p><p>Even though I'm nervous, I'm excited too, to start a brand new life as Yuuri Nikiforov, husband of the skating legend Viktor.</p><p>My lips parted slightly as I stared into my reflection, moments of him and me flashed through my mind like bullets. It was a fairytale almost, how happy I am right now. It doesn't seem real, it doesn't seem true-</p><p>My mom tapped my shoulder, "Yuuri-" She paused, "You're so h-handsome" She started tearing up.</p><p>"Mom, don't cry it's just a wedding" My voice cracked, as I gave the most genuine smile.</p><p>"My son's wedding of course I'm gonna cry" She put a napkin against her eyes.</p><p>"If you cry I'm going to start crying"<br/>I teared up even more, giving her a huge hug.</p><p>I loved my mom's hugs, but this one felt so different. It felt fretted, scared but so excited.</p><p>"Mom, thank you" I kissed her cheek.</p><p>"I don't mean to cut off this, but it's almost time" She cried, I stopped in my tracks, and smiled as a tear finally fell out of my mound of tears.</p><p>"O-okay, time to give me up mom" I put a hand behind her back, ushering her down the hall to the door.</p><p>"Good luck out there!" The wedding planner said to me, a small thumbs up to me.</p><p>I gave a quick smile, tapping back to reality, the doors opening. I went down through the grass, staring at the ground, I stopped at the flower isle.</p><p>The music started playing, my eyes were blinded by light as my vision cleared; wiping a few tears as my contacts fixated on Viktor, standing there all in white.</p><p>My eyes wondered, the best men perfectly in place, family and friends sat in the audience. The archway was filled with roses and sakura braches aligned it, the chairs were white, each decorated with bouquets, pink and blue.</p><p>I started walking slowly with my mom, tears falling from my eyes like crazy, I couldn't look. I couldn't face the immense emotions I was experiencing. It didn't seem long enough to finally stopped, but I did.</p><p>My mom slowly let go as she sat back down, I stared at Mrs. Nikiforov her eyes stained with mascara.</p><p>I gothe the courage to turn back to Viktor, blinking a few more times to clear my vision. I wish I did sooner, but I couldn't stop the rushing tears escaping my lids.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Viktor whispered through his own tears.</p><p>"Yeah, just happy" I whispered back.</p><p>"Are you guys good to go?" Phichit asked.</p><p>"Yes" We chimed, sharing a few giggles.</p><p>"Sup fam, we are all here for these two hard shipped lovers to be married" Phichit said loudly, the speakers amplifying it.</p><p>I couldn't stare away from Viktor, his eyes shined in the light, making them a  bright ocean blue. Not to mention his tears looked like diamonds falling from pools of sea. His stature was perfect, just like it always was.</p><p>
  <em>God, </em>
  <em>I</em>
  <em> love him.</em>
</p><p>"Their choice to marry was not a drum roll thing, and today they will show their love to the world. Though being, a lover, companion, and friend. A good and balanced love that is equal as a scale, one in which no person is too crazy over the other, one in which both give their love freely and without jealousy-" Phichit began.</p><p>"Marriage, ideally, is a sharing of responsibilities, hopes, and dreams. It takes a special effort to grow together, survive hard times, and be loving and selfless "  Phichit said aloud, Me and Viktor slightly chuckled at the cheesy way my best friend read his lines.</p><p>"Do you both promise and cross your little beaut hearts to share your lives openly with one another, and to speak the truth in love? Do you promise to honor and tenderly care for one another, cherish and encourage each other, stand together, through sorrows and joys, hardships and triumphs for all the days of your lives?" Phichit lit up, me and Viktor stared at each other.</p><p>"We do..." We chimed together, our broken words erupting from happy tears.</p><p>"K fam, reading again-" He paused, "Do you pledge to share your love and the joys of your marriage with all those around you, so that they may learn from your love and be encouraged to grow in their own lives?" Phichit asked.</p><p>"Don't we already do that?" Viktor lifted his brow.</p><p>"Just answer the question and get married will ya?" Phichit leaned against his hand, sighing, I laughed with little bubbled giggles.</p><p>"We do" We said.</p><p>"OH, ring time!... mmmm hmm ... May these golden rings be blessed as a symbol of your union. As often as either of you look upon these rings, may you not only be reminded of this moment, but also of the vows you have made and the strength of your commitment to each other" Phichit glittered.</p><p>"Now do your vows and get married you pansies" Phichit closed the book forcefully, and gleamed.</p><p>"Yuuri, my love..." He picked up my hand, holding it tight. I started weeping as he took the ring from the triplets.</p><p>"When I met you in S-Sochi, I thought you were pretty crazy, dancing everywhere. But, I still danced with you, and my heart turned quickly. They say love at first sight doesn't exist, but when I looked in your eyes, I knew you were the one. I traveled all across the world to meet you again, pretty shocked you acted like a stranger to me, but I made my way around, before I met you my life was dull, and dark, but you became my love and life so quickly it hurt-" He paused, letting a few more tears fall.</p><p>"I love y-you Yuuri, I may not be perfect, I get excited too fast, and I'm jumpy; but I promise I'll try my life to be Mr. perfect for you, and take care of you, do the dishes when you ask, so please... Be my husband till the day I die, Yuuri Katsuki" He finished, I wiped my tears, and smiled brightly. His shaky hands slid the gold diamond ring against my engagement one.</p><p>"Awwwww! I'm gonna die!" Phichit squeaked.</p><p>"V-Viktor..." I cried, putting a hand over my mouth, I grabbed the ring from the pillow, hiccuping even more.</p><p>"Viktor, e-ever since I met you, you were my joy and comfort, I don't remember the banquet, but I do remember you showing up at my Onsen. The life you gave me will always be in my heart, I promise to always support you through tough and great situations, even if they're odd or confusing. I also promise that I'll try my best for you and what the future holds. You are like a star to me and always will be my love, and idol till the day I die" I caressed his face, his head leaning into it.</p><p>"I love you so much Viktor, you have no idea... So please take this ring and be my partner for the rest of my life" I said, crying my eyes out as I tremored to put the ring on his hand.</p><p>"Okay! So Viktor... do you take Yuuri Katsuki to be lawfully wedded husband?" Phichit looked at him</p><p>"I do" He said, wiping his tears away.</p><p>"Do you Yuuri take Viktor Nikiforov to be your lawfully wedded husband?"<br/>Phichit gleamed, I chuckled through tears.</p><p>"I d-do, I t-truly do" I weeped, Viktor smiled brightly.</p><p>"I now pronounce you Mr and Mr. Nikiforov, by the state of Hawaii, your marriage is recognized as Husband and Husband, You may now kiss the groom!" Phichit yelled, Viktor cupped my face and kissed me, I could hear the screams of cheering in the distance, as they faded away. All I could feel was his soft lips against mine, slowly, beautifully.</p><p>As it ended, I could hear loud screaming penetrate my ears. Reality gripping me like a choke hold.</p><p>"I love you Mr. Nikiforov" Viktor said, I started crying deeply again, he grabbed my hand as we went over to the marriage certificate, I sighed and he sighed.</p><p>We went down the isle together, going into the limousine to take us to the reception. I sat down and intwined my fingers with Viktor's smiling my mind off.</p><p>"My Yuuri, my only Yuuri" He caressed my cheek lightly, his thumb petting my cheek, the feeling of love cherrying my fired heart.</p><p>"I can't believe we're married..." I leaned into his soft gentle touch.</p><p>"I can't believe it took this long" Viktor chuckled, I pecked his lips lightly and grinned.</p><p>"Well, Mr. Nikiforov, I do believe I had to win a gold metal to change my last name" I smirked, he grabbed me by my tie, and kissed my cheek.</p><p>"The only gold medal you had to win was me" He whispered in my ear, I giggled loudly.</p><p>"That was a little cheesy, but I love it"<br/>I chuckled through, he kissed me deeply, and slowly let go. "Mr. Nikiforov I also believe we aren't supposed to be kissing all over each other till the reception..." I teased, he smirked.</p><p>"Well, let this be an exception..." He said, pecking my cheek, then my neck, my hand, and pretty much all over.</p><p>"V-Viktor!" I whined.</p><p>"What? You obviously like it, look your cheeks are red" He poked my cheek, I glanced him a worried look, and then smiled.</p><p>"You're right, I do like it when you kiss me....and hug me, and....touch" My head whirled, my ears faulting with heartbeats.</p><p>"You like it when I touch, huh?" He asked, I pulled him in by his tie.</p><p>"I think you like it more"</p><p>"Yes-" He paused, "But I think we should save this attitude for tonight" He kissed me, his lips dipped with passion.</p><p>"Alright" I left a few more soft pecks on his jawline before the limo stopped. I grabbed Viktor's hand and stepped out, my eyes casting on the huge reception hall.</p><p>Viktor lightly pulled me through the doors. I blinked my eyes a few times to clear my contacts, a soft sigh escaped my lips. I stared at the wall lights, each side lit up by blue and pink, vases of elaborate bouquets reflected the two colors. Viktor always promised how much he'd go out with our wedding, and of course, it was perfect.</p><p>I barely recognized Mrs. Nikiforov running in her clacked heels with my awning, "My little boys!" She whined, her mascara lined down her face from crying, she scooped us in a huge hug.</p><p>"Ma, calm... It's just my wedding" Viktor hugged around her, my mom rushed over and joined the group hug.</p><p>Both of our mom's were crying with our bursts of giggling, "What's so funny?" My mom pouted.</p><p>"You're just so overdramatic" I commented.</p><p>"Im-"</p><p>"Say cheese!!" Phichit yelled, we both posed with our moms, "So cute!" He smiled.</p><p>"Hiko, we should get some food to fill our voids" Valentina blew her nose into a napkin.</p><p>"Alright, goodbye boys" My mom gave me a quick hug, leaving with Mrs. Nikiforov.</p><p>I looked up at Viktor, pulling him into a kiss, his lips quirked a simple smile as I smooched his lips, "I love you" I whispered, my hand resting on his chest.</p><p>"I love you" He grabbed my side, rubbing it lovingly.</p><p>"Do you think we should get to the cake so everyone can eat, you know some people are traditional" I placed a smooch on his jawline.</p><p>"Of Course" He mumbled, "Who's ready for the cake?!" Viktor yelled, walking over to the 3 tiered cake.Viktor grabbed my hand, leading me closer to the decorated food.</p><p>"Oooh!! Food!!!" Phichit yelled, I smiled as we were handed the knife; grabbing it together as we slowly cut.</p><p>Viktor kissed my cheek, and winked, cutting the cake out. I grabbed one of the forks, picking out a piece, Viktor did the same. I grinned and held the fork to his mouth, he ate it.</p><p>He put the piece he got and put it in between his teeth, putting the plate down, I looked at him confused. He tipped me over again, and kissed the cake in my mouth.</p><p>"Vikwtor" I chewed slowly and caught my balance, standing next to Viktor, I swallowed the last of it.</p><p>Phichit looked like he died, "My ship is killing me slowly...." He gawked.</p><p>"Come get some cake and food!" Viktor yelled, masses of friends gathered around the catering and cake, clacking of spoons filled the empty space. Me and Viktor both grabbed our own, getting each the food we loved.</p><p>We sat down and started eating. Viktor thought it'd be a great idea to put bells at everyone's table to ring for us to kiss. Phichit's ringing never stopped, let's just say that night.</p><p>About 30 minutes had passed of eating and talking amongst tables.</p><p>This pause ended by Viktor grabbing my hand to stand up for a toast. He held up his champagne glass, as I lifted mine to follow.</p><p>"To all our friends and family being here! It means so much to us" Viktor tilted his glass to the audience.</p><p>"Cheers!" Viktor clanked his glass with me and sipped, I took a tiny sip.</p><p>
  <em>I am NOT getting drunk. </em>
</p><p>I took another sip.</p><p>We ate and drank champagne in the coming hour. I was already on my 5th glass, and still drinking.</p><p>But,, I stopped myself finally, because the speeches were coming up and I wanted to remember those. First up was my mom and dad, this, well-</p><p>
  <em>Was going to be interesting from them.</em>
</p><p>"Hi, Yuuri!" My mom tapped the speaker at first, I smiled, and waved slightly.</p><p>"Okay son, our um speech to you...." He grabbed a paper from his pocket and adjusted his glasses, "Just kidding!" My dad said, throwing the paper to the ground.</p><p>"I'll let your mom do the talking-" He said, my mom grabbed the microphone.</p><p>"Yuuri, ever since you were born, we could tell you were going to be something special. And, that special turned out to be a world champion, we never suspected that you would be marring a man, but we supported you and your efforts" She smiled, tearing up slightly.</p><p>"We kinda didn't trust Viktor at first, but slowly, he became like my second son in a matter of no time. I've never seen you light up the way you do around him, admiring him, and really smiling to yourself in real happiness" She noted.</p><p>"And if you're happy so are we, and I couldn't imagine anyone else being with you other than Viktor for the rest of your life. We love you Yuuri, and we hope this marriage works out" My mom said, I grabbed a napkin and wiped my building tears.</p><p>Mrs. Nikiforov stepped on the small stage.</p><p>"Hi, everyone... Um, let's just do the speech..." She awkwardly grabbed the microphone.</p><p>"Viktor-" She paused, "I may have not been around your life for the past 13 years, but I do know that I messed up as a mom, and I support you on your decision marring this little bundle of cuteness." She smiled at me.</p><p>"You were always a emotionless child, and I think a lot of home life effected that. But I've seen you with Yuuri, so determined and responsible, along with jumpy and happy to be with him" Her English slightly broke.</p><p>"Yuuri's always been a sweetheart, even to people that hate him. I think he'll make a perfect husband, and the best love for my son ever-" She grinned genuinely, "So please, Yuuri, I know on the outside he looks like a lot, and really pulls off '<em>I'm fine</em>', but on the inside he's damaged, take care of my Viky-" She sighed, "Forever" Mrs. Nikiforov stepped off the stage, Viktor was hiding under his bangs, I handed him a tissue.</p><p>"It's okay honey..." I lifted his head, and wiped his tears off his cheeks, "There, handsome again..." I kissed his head, Chris stepped on the stage.</p><p>"Viiiiktooor!- hey! Look, everyone knew you and Yuuri vere going to get togezer after zat feisty! Banquet party! In Sochi!" He chuckled to himself, "Hell if I remember Yuuri vas rubbing himself all over you at ze banquet... Am I right? We also knew Viktor vas gay, vell at least mein self did, and I vouldn't pick any ozer two gays togezer zan zese two lovebirds" Chris said aloud.</p><p>"I've also heard you're a beauty in bed, invite me sometime" He winked, I coughed on my champagne, "Vhat? You zink Viktor doesn't tell me everyzing? I am ze best man for a reason!" He pouted.</p><p>"Okay, enough jokes, Viktor, Yuuri have a vonderful marriage please, so ze next one doesn't kill you, Ja?" He handed the microphone to Phichit.</p><p>"Oh my god, you guys...." Phichit watered tears, I giggled.</p><p>"I shipped you for so long and it's finally happening, I pinched myself this morning....just to make sure I wasn't dreaming...DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I WAITED?!....3 BITCH 3 YEARS!! TOO LONG! For this damn wedding, and it's here and beautiful....you g-guys are beautiful...may Viktuuri live on forever...that's all I have to say..." Phichit walked off the stage, I chuckled loudly.</p><p>The next few speeches went on, including JJ's which was narcissistic as always. I was surprised that Yurio was actually nice, and congratulated us.</p><p>It was time for dancing, my mom grabbed my hand and pulled me on the dance floor, spinning around, I smiled.</p><p>"Yuuri? Is it everything you ever wanted?" She asked, I grinned through hot tears in my lids.</p><p>"Y-Yea it is mom" I cracked through happiness, she happily hugged me in.</p><p>"Ah, I don't want to give my son up... I remember yesterday it was your first birthday, now you're all grown up and ready to start your own little family, which is nice because I get to spoil grandkids" She shifted her glasses, trying to wipe the tears.</p><p>"Ma, you're gonna make me cry..." I said, holding back tears.</p><p>"That's okay baby boy, you can cry..."<br/>She cupped my face, I sighed and shed a few tears. Hugging around her tightly.</p><p>"I'm scared to leave..." I whispered.</p><p>"But look, he's waiting for you..." My mom pointed to Viktor, I kissed my mom on the cheek and let go of her hand, turning to Viktor.</p><p>"Love you ma.." I finished, taking Viktor's hand.</p><p>"Yuuri, don't ever leave me, no matter how hard it gets" He whispered in my ear as we glided on the floor like it was ice.</p><p>"I won't" I mumbled, resting my head on his shoulder, the rocking of our feet made me grow calm and sleepy.</p><p>"Can you feel it? My heartbeat, its going so fast bit so slow" He explained, my eyes widened as the song ended, he kissed my lips softly.</p><p>"Me too" I guided his hand to my heart, "I love you Viktor... Even my heart says it"</p><p>"I love you too Yuuri" He pecked my lips, we walked off the dance floor and and sat down, enjoying the little peace between us for the time being.</p><p>Everything was going good, until I realized I was on my 12th drink that is.</p><p>I was buzzed, but not drunk, and I had to throw the bouquet soon. So I walked over near a clear area and called everyone over. Everyone was jumping around for it. I turned and tossed it.</p><p>"Oh my god..." I heard Phichit gawk, and then slight growling.</p><p>"Yura, you caught it..." I heard Otabek say softly. </p><p>"I know!! Someone else take it!" He yelled, Phichit was on the ground.</p><p>"Fate has decided my second ship"<br/>Phichit said blankly, I giggled loudly.</p><p>"Haha Yurio! You're next!" Viktor teased.</p><p>"Just because it's your wedding doesn't mean I can't rip your weave off you bald fuck!!" He yelled loudly, I giggled again, walking over to the table and sat down, loosing my tie and grabbing the glass.</p><p>I drank 2 more glasses and my vision became fuzzy, at least that's the last I remember of my reception.<br/>________________________________<br/><b>-Viktor's P.O.V.-</b></p><p>Yuuri pulled me by the tie as I was dancing with Chris, I turned around shocked.</p><p>"Hi my love..." He lidded his eyes, and ran his fingers down my back.</p><p>"Hello Yuuri?" I flustered, as he went up my suit jacket.</p><p>"What's wrong sexy?" Yuuri slurred, and grabbed my ass. Chris laughed, I worriedly looked at Yuuri.</p><p>"What are you doing?" I asked, he smirked.</p><p>"Claiming what's miiiiinnne~ how about you claim me in ouuur bed Mr. Nikkiiiifooorov~" He hiccuped, I realized, he was drunk.</p><p>"Yuuri, look, let's be rational..." I tried to crack him.</p><p>"Yuuuuuri? Don't you vant to give your husband a lap dance?" Chris giggled, I shook my head and mouthed-</p><p>'<em>no</em>'</p><p>"I'd love tooooo~ Come on Viktor...don't you want to see me dance? On youuu?"<br/>He whined, I sighed.</p><p>"Zere's a pole right there Yuuri.." I cocked my head over to where Chris was pointing at.</p><p>"Who the fuck put that there!?" I yelled, Yuuri pulled me with him, and I was so glad Yuuri and my parents were absent.</p><p>"Okay~ *hic* I'll starrrrt~" He rolled himself on the pole stage.</p><p>"Oh dear god..." I whispered, Chris giggled next to me, "You planned this didn't you!? Is this the surprise you were talking about?" I whispered at him.</p><p>"I did, I knew as soon as ve toasted Yuuri vouldn't be able to hold himself back Ja?" Chris bubbled out more chuckles.</p><p>"Chris I swe-" I got hit in the face with Yuuri's shirt.</p><p>"Too late!" Chris chimed, "Now you're in for a real show, Viktooor..." Chris sneered.</p><p>"Oh my god...." I whispered, Yuuri spun around the pole, only in his underwear.</p><p>He licked his lips, only staring at me. I was flustered badly, he crawled toward me, blinking his eyes sexily, he sat on the edge of the stage.</p><p>"Yuuri?" I peeped, he grabbed my tie and pulled me toward him.</p><p>He mumbled a few pecks on my cheek, and unbuttoned my shirt slowly, roughly exposing my chest.</p><p>Sitting on my lap, he smirked, kissing my jawline, I wrapped my arms around his back.</p><p>"Viktor~ make suuuure to break the bed when we get hooooome, my sexy hubby!~" He said aloud, I widened my eyes, as he grabbed my crotch.</p><p>Running his fingers up and down my torso, slowly with the other hand, "Wow! My love is hard!" He peeped in a raised tone, I hid in his chest out of embarrassment.</p><p>"Don't worry I'll fix it laaaater~" He patted my head, I grabbed him by his ass and picked him up, setting him on the edge of a table.</p><p>"Yuuri..." I whispered, running my hands gently on his sides.</p><p>"My hubby's mad..." He got louder with hiccuped laughter.</p><p>"No, I'm not mad at you.." I cocked my head at Chris.</p><p>"Awww, why I wanted you to be rough with me!!" He whined, I sighed, beginning to grab his clothes off the ground, "I think, it's time to head home" I looked at Phichit on the ground dying, charmed with an empty reception room.</p><p>"Okay!" Yuuri yelled excitedly, I exhaled in dissapointment again, picking him up bridal style to the rental car.</p><p>"Bye Viktor!" Chris teased, getting in his own car, I put Yuuri in the passenger seat.</p><p>"Now, I'm closing the door, stay still, I'm getting in on the other side" I was worried he'd get injured after his obvious rambunctious personality at the moment.</p><p>I got to the other side, at least he did as I wished, "Viktor?" He whined softly, I started the car.</p><p>"Yeah?" I said, though I knew everything he said was irrational at this point.</p><p>"Will you have sex with me when we get home?" He said so bluntly, I almost stopped the car there.</p><p>"No, I won't, you're going to sleep and so am I, you're drunk Yuuri" I replied, pulling out of the parking space.</p><p>"I don't care if I'm druuuunk, I'm horny!" He whined, I face palmed.</p><p>"You'll care in the morning when you wake up" I argued, driving down the streets.</p><p>"But I looooove you, it doesn't matter, we did it before" He grabbed my thigh gently, I turned down a street, "Why is it anyyy different~"</p><p>"Because I'm sober" I looked over at him, and then back to the road, "We were both drunk together, and gave consent before we slept together"</p><p>"I won't care" He ran his hands up my thigh.</p><p>"I said no Yuuri" I softly declined, pulling his hand off of my leg.</p><p>"B-But I want you...pleeeeeease~" He placed a kiss on my cheek, "Pretty please?" He put his hand right on my thigh again.</p><p>"I said no!" I yelled, sighing when Yuuri started crying uncontrollably.</p><p>I let my trauma get the best of me, and I should'nt have yelled.</p><p>"Do you even love me?!" He cried, I pinched my temples that Yuuri practically missed everything.</p><p>"Yes, of course Yuuri, I just married you" I pulled into the driveway, putting the car in park.</p><p>"But you won't make loooove t-to meee?" He cried as I got out the car to the other side, I opened his door.</p><p>"No I won't, you're drunk..." I picked him up and went through the front door.</p><p>"I loooove you Viktor" He slurred, I locked the front door, going straight to the bed and setting him on it.</p><p>"Yuuri, go to sleep" I said, he spread himself across the bed.</p><p>"Take me Viktor..." He lidded his eyes, I rolled mine and took off my clothes, getting in to bed next to him.</p><p>"I love you so much Yuuri, but you can't give consent right now, and I'd feel terrible that I'd cross that boundary" I caressed his cheek, giving him a peck on the nose.</p><p>"But I want you, to make me feel good~"<br/>His cheeks dusted in blush, I sighed and rolled over the bed.</p><p>"Go to sleep Yuuri" I demanded, all I heard was silence, as I looked over, he was passed out, cold. I kissed his head lightly, wrapping my arms around him.</p><p>"I love you Yuuri Nikiforov..." I smiled and fell asleep holding my husband.</p><p>Gosh, <em>My husband.</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 22, Honeymoon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>-Yuuri's P.O.V.-</b>
</p><p>The light outside was loud, not a banging loud, but a headache loud. This was definitely a hangover. But, at least I could say I remember all of the important events of my wedding day. I looked at my ring, a simple blue squared diamond struck across white gold.</p><p>I turned to the other side of the bed, a smile dipped on my face at the butterflies I could feel up my spine. I was Yuuri Nikiforov, and that really sat weird with me.</p><p>Not that Viktor's name was weird, it was that I had it now. Even with everything, I feel like this is some kind of dream.</p><p>I sighed, turning to face the offside of the bed, and then I realized I had no underwear.</p><p>"T-There's no way...." I whispered, looking at my undergarments clearly on the ground.</p><p>I put them on, and went to the bathroom, looking in the mirror. I splashed my face with water.</p><p>"Fucking hell-" I whispered, I turned and dug in Viktor's bag, grabbing Tylenol. I took a pill and sat on the lid of the toilet.</p><p>"Were we both drunk?" I whispered, trying to piece together my memories.</p><p>Was this okay? We never explicitly told eachother that we gave to go. Its not like I care for myself, Viktor can have me at any reasonable time he wants.</p><p>I was worried with Viktor's past more than anything. If Viktor didn't give consent, it would be a nightmare, he'd relive everything.</p><p>I teared up a little,</p><p>
  <em>I </em>
  <em>don't</em>
  <em> want to hurt him.</em>
</p><p>I got up and opened the door, there was one way to figure it out. I walked over to the edge of the bed where Viktor was passed out.</p><p>Viktor was a very light sleeper, so I had to be careful, I lifted the covers, and looked under, tucking him back in. Instant relief filled my entire body, sighing out, I plopped myself on the ground, the horrid banging feeling came back.</p><p>"Morning my love..." Viktor kissed the top of my head from the edge of the mattress.</p><p>"Good morning Viktor" I lifted to kiss his cheek lightly, getting up to fall under the covers.</p><p>"Is there something wrong?" He asked me, I wasn't aware of the face I was making.</p><p>"N-Nothing" I turned away, he grabbed my cheeks and nuzzled my face.</p><p>"Tell me what it is, I love you"<br/>He kissed both my bulged cheeks.</p><p>"I was just a-afraid this morning..." I looked down, he kissed my nose.</p><p>"Afraid of what?" He asked.</p><p>"That you- um....we had done 'it' last night while I we were drunk" I mumbled, "But then I saw your pants"</p><p>"No, Yuuri we went back to the house as soon as the reception was over"<br/>He said, "You did beg me to have sex with you though, if that's what you're wondering"</p><p>"I was worried about how you would feel, if we were both drunk and we didn't talk about it" I admitted, "It wouldn't have mattered to me"</p><p>"I guess I would be a little mixed up, but, I know you wouldn't hurt me" He kissed my temple.</p><p>"Yeah" I responded, pulling Viktor into a hug, "You know I love you so much" I kissed his cheek.</p><p>"I know, I love you too" He kissed my nose and smiled genuinely.</p><p>He lifted off of the bed and went to the bathroom, shuffling and footsteps came from the crack of the door. I sighed, looking at the ceiling, trying to make a face out of the popcorn.</p><p>My head bounced to the bathroom as I heard the knob. Viktor was dressed in a basic shirt and swim trunks.</p><p>"Wanna go somewhere?" He asked me, I nodded and got dressed quickly.</p><p>He asked me to grab my swimsuit, with a few fridge snacks. After that, we headed out to the car, the air was warm unlike the places I'm used to.</p><p>The car ride was so long that I fell asleep in the passenger seat. I don't remember the details, but I remember how beautiful the roads were.</p><p>Viktor shook me, alerting me that we had showed up. It was 12pm when I checked the clock to get out the car. We walked a long time to this beach he was excited about; I didn't really understand why we were walking 2 miles to this beach that was supposedly very rare.</p><p>We got to the beach finally after like 2 hours. My eyes went wide as Viktor pranced around in the green sand.</p><p>"Wait, is this the beach that only four places in the world have?" I asked, he nodded frantically.</p><p>"Isn't it beautiful Yuuri?" He asked, I got out my phone and took a picture of him with the beach.</p><p>"It's really hot..." I fanned myself, putting the phone in my pocket.</p><p>"That's because you're here" He smiled, I punched his arm playfully.</p><p>"No It's probably because of the lack of radiation protection in the ozone layer near the equator" I said, he face palmed, "What? I was just saying a logical explanation" I whined, putting up the umbrella and a blanket on the ground.</p><p>"Yeah, and I was trying to hit on you" He smiled, I chuckled and pecked his lips, he pulled me down on the blanket with him and kissed me.</p><p>"I guess I can kiss you here since we're all alone, huh?" He said, heat rose to my cheeks.</p><p>"I guess" I said, he pulled me closer to him and cuddled on me, wrapping my arms around him, laying on his shoulder.</p><p>"My Yuuri" He kissed the top of my head, the sound of the waves crashing and his soft breath was comfortable.</p><p>"You know, I really love you, I mean it"<br/>I smiled, and kissed his lips softly, he hid his crimson cheeks.</p><p>"Yuuuuri~" He whined, smiling brightly while tearing up, "I love you a lot too~"<br/>He smothered me close, I sighed and hugged back. "It's peaceful- Da?" He mentioned, I stared at the beautiful beach.</p><p>"Yeah, it is-" I paused, "Hey, wanna go in the water?" I asked,</p><p>"Yeah, Let's go" He grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the beach.</p><p>"N-No isn't the water-" I stopped, the water was extremely warm, but not too warm. I thought'd be freezing, but it wasn't.</p><p>"Warm huh?"</p><p>"Yea, how'd you know?" I asked.</p><p>"Went to Hawaii in 2007, one of the GPF's in America were held here" He said, I pulled him down to sit in the water.</p><p>"That makes sense, you've practically been everywhere" I quietly said, he kissed my neck.</p><p>"And you will too" He caressed my face.</p><p>"With the cost of you leaving skating" I mumbled.</p><p>"Yuuri-"</p><p>"Sorry, never mind" I sighed out, gaining a small worried look from Viktor.</p><p>"It was my choice, please stop blaming yourself" He placed a small peck on my cheek, "Now, let's enjoy our honeymoon, okay?" His eyes glittered away the worry they claimed.</p><p>"Sorry, you're right" I smiled gently.</p><p>"It's alright, look, the yellow fish..." He said, pointing to the ones swimming around us.</p><p>"If you move they'll go away Viktor"<br/>I said, though he was right in front of me, barely away from my lips.</p><p>"Alright" He kept still, leaning into my lips, a few soft pecks muffled the air.</p><p>"L-Love you" I lidded my eyes, falling for him again.</p><p>"I know Yuuri, I love you too" He rippled the water, sitting back in the shallow water, "Awww, the fish" He whined, I giggled as the small fish swam away.</p><p>"Stay still...." I whispered, and pecked his lips, running my fingers down his torso, I wrapped my arms around him and cuddled on his shoulder.</p><p>"Yuuri" He chuckled, and kissed my head, running his hands up my back, I peeped loudly.</p><p>"Aww, you moaned...." He exclaimed, I pouted, he continued going up my back, he touched my chest, I pushed him back forcefully. I caught my breath and panted loudly.</p><p>"Oops my bad!" He chuckled, I crossed an angry look to him, he jumped. "I'm sorry Yuuri." He said quickly,</p><p>"We're in public!" I sneered and got up.</p><p>"Yuuuuuuri~" He whined, holding on my leg.</p><p>"I'm going over to the rocks..." I said bluntly, dragging him over the beach.</p><p>"I'm sowwwy....." He cried, though I was hiding how I really felt.</p><p>"No! Just get off of my leg!" I tried to pry his arms off.</p><p>"I'm sorry my love, my life, my everything please forgive me!" He childishly peeped, I sighed.</p><p>"What do I have to do to get you to stop?" I asked, He lit up.</p><p>"Give me kisses and loveies! And also, lots of attention, because I wub you"<br/>He pouted, I bent down and pecked his lips.</p><p>"You're lucky you're being cute and I'm falling for it..." I lectured.</p><p>"I wub my hubby, bubby" He got up and pinched my cheeks, I started flustering, he really was getting to me.</p><p>"Okay, I love you too- and forgive you" I sighed, he cupped my face fully and kissed the tip of my nose.</p><p>"Yay, my flushy hubby is back!" He poked my cheeks, I got redder.</p><p>"V-Viktor..." I breathed, I felt something against my foot, I looked down to see a sea turtle.</p><p>"Stop!" I snapped with his face stuck in a pouted lip expression, he looked at me confused.</p><p>"I almost stepped on it because of you..." I bent down and picked up the turtle.</p><p>"See..." It poked it's head out, Viktor stared at it, and touched it's head, "I could've killed it, they're endangered" I argued, though Viktor wasn't paying attention.</p><p>"Y-yeah" He replied, still harboring away his gaze, shaking slightly.</p><p>"Are you scared of turtles?" I asked as Viktor's trembling continued, I turned the turtle towards him, he jumped back.</p><p>"You are!" I exclaimed, Holding the turtle against my chest.</p><p>"Shush! I got bit by one as a kid in the Moscow Zoo! I was triggered for life!" He yelled, I chuckled and continued petting the rather small turtle.</p><p>"Just pet it, it won't bite, unless you put your finger in front of its mouth" I put the turtle in Viktor's arms, he stared down at it in fear, prancing around, trying to get rid of it.</p><p>"Just stay calm and pet it..." I said, Viktor sat down in the shallow water.</p><p>He started to pet it in fear, and then realized it was okay. He pet it's head slowly, it was kinda cute seeing him used to the little turtle.</p><p>Viktor put the turtle back in the sea and it swam away. We went around in the rocks for a while finding all sorts of creatures, Viktor found a oyster with a pearl in it, he tried to give it to me, I told him to keep it as a souvenir.</p><p>We went back to the set up we had, I packed lunch for us. Viktor ate it down so quick, it's been months since we've skated, and I have gained a little weight but it's constantly a certain point of numbers. I definitely think it's because of Viktor I don't eat out of depression anymore.</p><p>We stayed a little while longer enjoying the long almost set sky, I started looking at my ring again, sighing to myself, as Viktor cleaned off his sandals in the water.</p><p>I couldn't help but stare at him, smiling, it was a bit creepy after all. He didn't look back, but I didn't care, his whole torso was showing, I don't usually look at his body at all, since I'm really conservative, but he was my husband so I could look at it. Before I knew it, Viktor waved in my face, I was spacing out.</p><p>"You ok?" He asked.</p><p>"Fine, just admiring you-" I beckoned a small smile.</p><p>"Were you staring at me?" He teased, I hid my head in my hands.</p><p>"Y-Yeah" I admitted, he kissed my forehead, and put my hand on his chest, being careful of my hands on Viktor.</p><p>"It's fine, you can touch" He said, I ran my fingers down his torso, heat reaching my cheeks.</p><p>His skin was soft, warm, It made me fluster terribly. He wrapped his arms around me, and hugged there for awhile. I started feeling guilt, like I was supposed to do something, but I couldn't put my tongue on it.</p><p>I started thinking, until it hit me. He was hinting the fact, all day kind of, my blush became more red, my stomach wild with butterflies.</p><p>He wasn't saying it aloud, probably waiting for me to ask, which I wasn't very good at voicing my wants. But I had to, I got drunk on the night we were supposed to do it. Which is where guiltiness, came in. Viktor and I have only done it 3 times total.</p><p>Its not like I don't want to, because gosh, I'm a lot more horny than I like to admit. I don't think Viktor feels the same, with all his unresolved trauma.</p><p>I waved off my thought and nuzzled in his soft chest, listening to the waves. He backed away and kissed me softly.</p><p>"You wanna get dinner, there's a city 30 min away" He showed me the map on his phone, I nodded slowly.</p><p>We got our stuff together and walked the trail back, my anxiousness got worse. As we got in the car and headed to the restaurant.</p><p>It was a nice little cafe shack, I ordered some pineapple stuff, that was really good. Viktor, of course ate a whole bunch, but my nervousness got worse, it was showing through my actions, luckily Viktor didn't notice.</p><p>We headed back home which took two hours, we decided to go down to the resort's pool and sea area, which a lot of people were there, didn't help my anxiety at all.</p><p>He still didn't say anything, because I usually push him off, but I wasn't, and we were in front of like, 200 people.</p><p>We went back to the rental house, which was a little ways away. I still didn't say anything, Viktor went into the shower, after he had one I took a shower.</p><p>I found him on the bed, laying there. It was so weird how the time passed by so quickly, he was on his phone, scrolling something. He stopped and looked up at me smiling, as I put my glasses on the dresser.</p><p>"Is there something wrong, did I make you mad? You haven't talked since the beach..." He stuck up my silence, I gulped.</p><p>"It's nothing..." I tucked myself under the covers, and turned away from him.</p><p>"Yuuri, somethings wrong, tell me- " He pulled me over to him. I blushed badly.</p><p>"Viktor I-I'm sorry I got drunk, it was terrible of me" I said, he widened his eyes and chuckled.</p><p>"Actually it was entertaining, you gave me a lap dance" He hysterically laughed, I started tearing up.</p><p>"Yuuri?" He stopped, I sniffed, "I-I shouldn't have laughed, I know it bothers you...I'm sorry" He pulled me close to him, I sucked up my tears.</p><p>"N-No it's not t-that I just don't know how to say i-it" I sniffed again.</p><p>"Say what Yuuri, I'm confused?" He questioned, I bit my lip,  "You can tell me anything Yuuri, I'm your husband..." He caressed my cheek.</p><p>My heart fluttered at <em>'husband' </em>but that temporary feeling was replaced by my nervous wreck, "I'm freaking out for no reason"</p><p>Viktor stared in my eyes, "No, there's a reason" He read me like a book.</p><p>"Fine" I mumbled, pulling his face into a deep, sensual, kiss.</p><p>"Y-Yuuri-" Viktor pulled back, granting a few more smooches.</p><p>"Can we.....um m-m-make l-love together" I asked, everything was on fire, and I felt so nervous.</p><p>"No need to be embarrassed, We're married after all, and not to mention this isn't the first time" He interlaced our fingers as he sat up.</p><p>"You're sure?" I asked.</p><p>"Of course Yuuri" He pecked my cheek, "I love you"</p><p></p><div>
  <p>"I love you too" I replied.</p>
</div><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 23, Aishiteru (Viktuuri Smut)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p></p><div>
  <p><span class="u"> <em>TRIGGER WARNING:</em> </span> <em> PANIC ATTACK DUE TO PREVIOUS SEXUAL ASSULT, READER DESCRETION IS ADVISED.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p><b>-Viktor's </b> <b>P.O.V.-</b></p>
</div><p><br/>Yuuri gently pushed me down against the bed through kisses. My mind laid flat for a few minutes, as I savored the rhythmed pecks I was receiving.</p><p>"Viktor?" He breathlessly looked in my eyes.</p><p>"Yeah?" I asked back, half of my robe laying off my shoulder.</p><p>"Is it okay if I touch you?" He kissed the side of my face.</p><p>"Of course" I ran my fingers through his hair down to his jawline.</p><p>His fingers touched my side gently, snaking up his hands gently to my chest. He hesitated and pinched my nipples gently, "Does that feel good?" He mumbled, laying a soft peck on my lips.</p><p>"Y-yeah" I murmured a little bit, his pinches becoming rhythmic with my sounds.</p><p>He kissed down my collarbone, nibbling carefully on my skin, just enough to feel good. Then his kisses peppered down my breast plate to my nipples.</p><p>He bit softly on them, rubbing my sides affectionately. I made soft breaths, hitching and squealing under my whispers.</p><p>"I love you" He kissed my neck, sucking softly to leave a little mark.</p><p>"Me t-too" My cheeks burned, and my body was on fire.</p><p>"Viktor, can I try something?" He pecked my cheek in a begging manner.</p><p>"Sure, anything" I leaned into his touch more.</p><p>"Can I be on top?" He mumbled, his side caresses becoming shaky.</p><p>"Okay" I smiled, pecking him a few times.</p><p>"Really?" His eyes lit up.</p><p>"Of course" I kissed his neck, to his jawline, "I am all yours" I rubbed his arm.</p><p>He glittered with excitement kissing me multiple times before trailing back to in between my legs. His head leaned into my thigh, eyes locking with mine, my hand reached out, cupping his cheek.</p><p>"You okay?" I asked, he nodded, grabbing my hand, he entwined our fingers, pushing my legs apart slowly.</p><p>His head ducked down, a small exhale erupted from my mouth as I stared at the ceiling. My other hand wandering to his black hair. I let out a few moans, my breathing becoming erratic and paced.</p><p>I could feel the damp line of sweat forming on my hairline. Yuuri was surprisingly good at this, maybe it was natural talent or my love for him. Either way it felt I was going to tip over.</p><p>My head whirled, as his head continued to bob. The ceiling of the house became more and more white, his other hand rubbed my hips in comfort.</p><p>"Yuuri, I'm going-" I swallowed my dry pallette, "Please, god-" My hand tugged at his hair tighter, I bit my lip back.</p><p>"F-Fuck" I groaned, my body relaxing, releasing, I sat continuing to stare at the flat ceiling.</p><p>"Wow, 12 minutes" Yuuri giggled, "Last time was 7" He teased.</p><p>"Dont patronize me about my stamina" I breathlessly sat up a little, Yuuri crawling on my torso, kissing my lips.</p><p>"I think its cute" He kissed me deeply, my tongue shifting lightly with his, Yuuri breaking it off with a few pecks,  biting my lower lip.</p><p>"You're gonna be the death of me" I sighed out, his chest bubbled out a few dark chuckles.</p><p>"Gladly" He kissed under my chin, leaving a bite mark on my shoulder.</p><p>He backed up, grabbing the lube, squirting some on his fingers, "You okay?" His eyes worried.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm fine" I smirked, his smile burning my memory. His hands dipped down-</p><p>"Its easier doggy isn't it?" He asked.</p><p>"It doesn't matter to me, I have toys" I joked, he chuckled under his breath.</p><p>"Okay" He spread my legs again, fingers dipping in me. He scissored his fingers around a few times, stretching me out.</p><p>I adapted to the feeling, Yuuri's fingers were less long than mine, but thicker. They weren't tough, really soft. A terrible stereotypical thought mumbled in my mind, Japanese usually had soft skin.</p><p>Yuuri's skin was so soft, it felt so great to wake up on his chest. God, Yuuri was so precious, and beautiful-</p><p>"Oh" I mumbled, his fingers hooking right on that spot, I moaned a bit.</p><p>"Does it feel good?" He kissed the top of my knee.</p><p>"Yea-" I was able to muster.</p><p>I heard the bottle squeeze again, the lube being spread on my entrance. My body shivered with the cold feeling.</p><p>"Are you okay?" He rubbed my thighs.</p><p>"Yeah, go ahead, it was just cold" I smiled, staring in his eyes.</p><p>I could feel him line up, gently pushing into me. The ceiling turned into popcorn, the walls were dark grey blue. The sting of intercourse burned in-between my legs.</p><p>I felt my long hair on my shoulders, I was too terrified to look down. So goddamn horrified.</p><p>"My girl, you look so good" His stubble kissed my neck, "You look so good on my dick"</p><p>"Viktor-"</p><p>"God, so pretty" His slithered lips gasped.</p><p>"Viktor!"</p><p>"You're mine forever" He snarled.</p><p>"Viktor Nikiforov!"</p><p>"You'll never escap-"</p><p>"Viktor!" I snapped back into reality, the popcorn ceilings dissapeared, the grey being replaced by a soft peach color.</p><p>"Yuuri?" I looked at him, there was claw marks on his arms.</p><p>"Viktor, are you okay?"</p><p>"Did I do-" My hands touched his arms, a little bit of blood soaked onto my fingertips.</p><p>"Yes, but-"</p><p>"I'm sorry" I started crying, hiccuping on my own tears.</p><p>"You couldn't control-" He tried to reach out.</p><p>"Don't touch me!" I yelled, "I'll just hurt you, thats all I ever do-" I grabbed my underwear, running to the bathroom, I slammed it.</p><p>"Viktor! Please open the door" He knocked, I huddled in my knees.</p><p>"Just go away" I sniffled, crying out my eyes.</p><p>"Viktor, please, let's talk about this" He begged.</p><p>"I don't want to" I argued.</p><p>"Fine, just let me in" His voice mumbled through the door.</p><p>"No!" I snapped.</p><p>"I'm your husband, please"</p><p>"Just go to sleep, don't worry about me" I smiled gently to cover up my feelings.</p><p>"I'll worry all night, you know this" He sighed.</p><p>"Then worry to sleep!" I yelled, wavering on my soaked cheeks.</p><p>"Viktor, please trust me, whats a relationship without trust?"</p><p>
  <em>Whats a relationship without trust</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Without trust</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Trust...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Viktor, listen, if you don't show basic trust after 6 months, how could we possibly continue this relationship?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I didn't think, I just snapped, "But, this is my body"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Mine as well, that's how a relationship works, what's yours is mine"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maxxy, please-"</em>
</p><p>The ground felt like tile, cold tile felt like memories I didn't want to remember. His moans are ringing in my ear like sirens, it won't stop, it won't shut up.</p><p>
  <em>Fucking shut up</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shut up</em>
</p><p>His eyes won't stop staring, icy, slate eyes pictured me like an object. The way his irises raked up my body, up, down, up-</p><p>
  <em>Down</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Up</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stop staring, shut up, get off me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Shut up!"</em>
</p><p>"Viktor" I felt gentle arms wrap around me, my hands slowly moved away from my ears to around his body.</p><p>I was safe, nobody was here to hurt me, "Its okay" He pet through my hair, peppering kisses on the side of my head.</p><p><em>It </em><em>finally</em> <em>shut</em><em> up.</em></p><p>I pulled Yuuri in tightly, sobbing loudly into his neck, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" I cried.</p><p>"Its okay, Viktor, I'm fine" He sighed gently.</p><p>"No I'm at fault, I should've never hurt you, I ruined our honeymoon and-"</p><p>"Viktor!" Yuuri snapped, staring into my eyes, I immediately shut my mouth in response, "You haven't ruined our honeymoon, this is my fault-"</p><p>"No, cause-"</p><p>"Let me finish!" He groaned, "I'm sorry I snapped, but it seems to be the only way I can get you to stop panicking" He cupped my cheeks, wiping my tears.</p><p>"How is this your fault?" I wearily asked.</p><p>He breathed in deep thought, gathering everything in his eyes, "I knew when I asked you of this, this-" He paused, "This reaction could have been possible, I was prepared for this, but I completely forgot with my nerves half way through"</p><p>"You expected this from me?" I lightly pushed him, "Like I'm some experiment?" I rushed more tears.</p><p>"No! Viktor-" He leaned to give me a hug, "This is just something people react with when they've been assulted" He kissed my cheek.</p><p>"Did you just want my body?" I let myself slip from my thoughts, barely audible.</p><p>His eyes blew wide, "Viktor... I love you, you are my husband, I would never use you for your body" He pulled me into his chest, "You're precious to me, and I would be clearly upset if I was after your body"</p><p>I said nothing, leaning into his chest, and nuzzling my nose into the soft skin. Yuuri's wounds weren't that deep, they were already closed up, just surface scratches. I felt better knowing that it wasn't so bad, although I still blamed myself for physically hurting him.</p><p>"Lets go to sleep, okay?" He pecked my lips, "We've been through a lot today, its better if its slept off"</p><p>"Yeah" I mumbled, standing up slowly with Yuuri, I walked to the comfy bed and pillow, plopping my way on it.</p><p>Yuuri pulled me in slowly kissing the top of my head. I breathed twice, enveloped by his warmth, I dozed off to sleep. Maybe I felt safe, maybe I felt like he couldn't touch me, or maybe I was just lonely. I'm not exactly sure, but everything was alright.</p><p>-</p><p>I woke up in an empty bed, the sound of sizzling and youtube videos echoed into the room. I slowly got up, my body naked from last night, I grabbed my robe, tossing it over to make my way to the kitchen.</p><p>"Morning my love" I sat down at the table.</p><p>"You're cheery this morning" Yuuri commented.</p><p>"Just lucky to be with my husband" Why was I acting like nothing happened?</p><p>"Well, I'm lucky as well" He kissed the side of my head, an awkwardness filling the kitchen-dining area.</p><p>I sat in silence watching Yuuri place the eggs and bacon on plates, pulling out the oatmeal from the microwave. He sighed and sat the plate in front of me.</p><p>"Viktor, we need to talk" He looked in my eyes with a caring stare, his hand entwining my other as I dug in.</p><p>"About what?"</p><p>"Last night, we need to talk about it" His voice echoed in my head, my eyes faulting away from his gaze.</p><p>"I don't want to talk about it"</p><p>He mumbled something, groaning quietly, "Viktor, you know I don't like putting my foot down, I don't like being the bad guy-" He pushed up his glasses "But we need to talk about this, its not just about you anymore, this is about us"</p><p>"What do you want to talk about?" I shrugged.</p><p>"What happened with him and you to react like you did last night?" He was serious, serious-</p><p>
  <em>So goddamn serious-</em>
</p><p><em>I knew I </em> <em>couldn't</em> <em> run from this much longer, we </em> <em>were</em> <em> married now.</em></p><p>"Why can't I just not talk about it?" I looked in his eyes.</p><p>"Because Viktor you had a PTSD attack last night, and I need to know how to avoid that happening again!" He snapped.</p><p>"These are my boundaries!" I yelled back.</p><p>"Well, Viktor, then we're never having sex again" He aggressively ate, "For your safety"</p><p>"I'm sorry, nevermind, I'm scared Yuuri, that you'll think I was stupid, that it was my fault" I teared up.</p><p>"You saw how I talked to him, I would never think that" His voice tinged with coming wet cheeks.</p><p>"I was old enough to know better" I harshly said to myself.</p><p>I felt a sting on my face, shock making my forget the last seconds of my memory. I was disassociating, the ringing in my ears making Yuuri's liquid yells quiet. I didn't want to hear it, but I knew deep down I needed to-</p><p>"-don't you ever say that again!" His screaming hit my ears like a banshee from Harry Potter.</p><p>"Did you just, slap me?" I mumbled a question out.</p><p>"Yes" He sniffed up some tears, "I don't want to ever saying that again, nothing is your fault Viktor, and you know damn well I couldn't argue you out of it" Yuuri's hands held mine his thumb rubbing my wrist in comfort.</p><p>I couldn't argue, I knew that if he had just said <em>'it </em><em>wasn't</em><em> your fault' </em>I wouldn't believe him. Maybe I needed to get slapped some sense into me. It felt awful though.</p><p>"Couldn't you have thought of something better?" I held my cheek, "Rather than slapping me, you didn't even say sorry-" I deadpanned my icy voice.</p><p>"I did say sorry" Yuuri cried, "And yes, you're right, I could've thought of something else"</p><p>"You want to know everything? All that bastard did?" I scoffed.</p><p>"Yes, please"</p><p>"You're in luck, your slap put me into one of my numb moods" I waved my hand in sarcasm.</p><p>"I'm sorry-"</p><p>"Don't apologize" I argued.</p><p>"Alright" He muttered.</p><p>"I was 15 after my first GPF, when I met Maxwell, I thought he was cute, and I was dumb while being naive" I gently said, "We started dating after I found out he lived in St. Petersburg" I sighed.</p><p>"Soon I realized how pushy he was, he raped me my first time, I bled for a week afterwards with the lack of lube and force he used" I clasped my hands together.</p><p>"He continued to rape me, sometimes I just let it happen not to get hurt, only requesting that he used lube to not rapture my... ya'know" I felt the trembles spike up my spine.</p><p>"He used to misgender me, call me his girl, while he played with my hair in the middle of intercourse" I shook lightly, "If I didn't comply with his requests, he'd hit me or force me"</p><p>"Sometimes I would cry and he just laughed, it got worse with the videos-" I paused.</p><p>"It could last hours with that live feed, some people begging to join in, that whole video site was specifically pedophiles" I shook harder, "Some of them even wished I were younger"</p><p>"I left when I was 17, he put a gun to my head, and slammed me into the floor" I felt Yuuri's hands clasped mine, "Yakov and Lilia helped me get therapy and stuff, but it never fully helped, I hid everything-" I choked on tears, "I hate myself"</p><p>"Viktor" Yuuri's voice echoed through my sobs, "Its okay" His chair dragged across the wood, pulling me into a hug, "Don't hate yourself"</p><p>I sobbed into his shirt, "I'm so scared of loosing you" I hugged him so tight.</p><p>"I'm not going anywhere" He kissed my wet cheek, "Somebody's gotta be here to get you to do the dishes" He joked.</p><p>I chuckled through everything, "And I've gotta annoy someone" I giggled.</p><p>"I love you" He whispered in my ear, "I love you so much, thank you for telling me" His fingers petted through my hair.</p><p>"Aishiteru, Yuuri" I mumbled.</p><p>"You used it right this time" He pulled me back and gave me a soft peck.</p><p>"Yeah?" I giggled, pulling him into a deep kiss.</p><p>"God, I love you" Yuuri looked into my eyes.</p><p>"And I love you" I entwined our fingers.</p><p>And God if you're up there,</p><p>Please, please-</p><p>
  <em>Please let me keep him.</em>
</p><p><em>He's</em> <em> the best thing that's ever </em> <em>happened</em> <em> to me,</em></p><p>
  <em>I love him.</em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 24, My Parents</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The end of May; My favorite time of year, and I treat that with sarcasm.</p><p>
  <em>The outside of Russia is cold. </em>
</p><p>I remember it being so cold, the tip of my nose was numb, generally the end of May is warmer. But, the weather persisted and we were hit by a small snowstorm late in 2006. I had begged my parents to finally see my grandpa after not being able to, due to snowy weather.</p><p>The roads were slick but I bartered, cried and threw a tantrum. My parents finally gave in as I held my pet cat Potya in my arms. They buckled me in the van and we were off.</p><p>It was foggy that morning, the air salty with the coast in mind. It was a 7 hr drive to Moscow, my mood was to sleep and nag like 5 year olds do. I had taken a nap for the majority of the drive, my pet kitten making the cold car warm enough to bare.</p><p>It wasn't like the heaters didn't work, its just my dad smoked and blew it out the window. It was annoying, but I could get over it with a blanket and a warm-bellied kitty.</p><p>"Ivan can you ever figure out where you're going!" My mother yelled, it bursted me awake.</p><p>"I just took a wrong exit, we'll be fine, I can turn around"</p><p>"Turn around? How long did we go on this highway?!" She snapped.</p><p>"I think about 5 miles, its a quick fix" He reassured her.</p><p>"Ugh, I told you to take that exit but you never listen to me-" She flipped her long pearly blonde hair to the side.</p><p>"Mommy, are we going to go the right way?" I rubbed my eyes.</p><p>"Yes, if your father with follow the directions" She smirked in a condescending manner.</p><p>"You don't have to be passive-agressive you know" He scoffed.</p><p>"Well I wouldn't have to be if you just listened" She rolled her eyes.</p><p>"Anya, I try, alright, but having you nag down my back isn't going to solve our issues!" He yelled, the speedometer going higher.</p><p>"Me, a nag? You're the one always down my ass and around the corner!" She screamed, I covered my ears.</p><p>"You're always the one fucking bitching, first it was the weather, then Yuri, everything about the cat-"</p><p>"Oh, shut the fuck up" She crossed her arms.</p><p>"No, this is enough, I'm tired of fighting over petty ass shit-"</p><p>"Daddy!" I screamed, a semi hitting the front car, I held my cat close as the car rolled upside down into the highway ditch.</p><p>"Ivan!" I heard my mom scream, "Ivan! Please wake up, please, god, I didn't mean it-"</p><p>Potya purred into me, trying to calm me down but the blood was splattered all over my face, and onto poor kitty's fur. I couldn't speak, all I could hear is ringing, constant fucking ringing.</p><p>
  <em>The ringing </em>
</p><p>"Ma'am are you and your son alright?" I don't know how we got out of the car or how we were on the side of the road, but all I could focus on was my breathing.</p><p>"Alright?!" She screamed, "My husband just died in front of me, how am I alright?"</p><p>"I meant physically, any bruises, scratches, injuries?" He questioned.</p><p>"Yeah, I've got whiplash, and my son probably got strangled by his seat belt, if that's what you're asking" She angrily shed more tears.</p><p>"Hey, little bud, can I check your neck and breathing?" He bent down.</p><p>I nodded gently, sitting up on the ambulance, "Breathe in and out for me" It hurt to breathe.</p><p>"I know you've been through a lot, but nows not the time to cry, boys have to be strong, ya'know?" He wiped my tears.</p><p>"It hurts" I mumbled, shedding more tears.</p><p>"We've got a ruptured airway on the 5 year old" The firefighter paged the ambulance members.</p><p>I could see my mom yelling at other policemen, as I hopped onto the ambulance bed. I still held my cat, petting him through all of the problems.</p><p>"We need to take your pet" The ambulance lady held out her hands.</p><p>"Potya stays" I held tighter.</p><p>"Ma'am, I need you to take your son's cat" She yelled to my mother.</p><p>"Whats wrong with him?!" She cried.</p><p>"He's got ruptured airways due to the seatbelt, he needs to be taken to the hospital" She mentioned.</p><p>"Yuri, give me Potya" My mother held out her hand.</p><p>"You promise to take good care of him?" I asked.</p><p>"Of course-"</p><p>-</p><p>"Anya, you can't just leave!" My grandpa begged, "He's your son!"</p><p>"This family is broken Nikolai, I can't continue my job with a suicidal kid on my back, do you know what that would do to my reputation?!" She argued.</p><p>"Your children should always come first!" He tried pleading with her.</p><p>"My career has always come first, maybe if it weren't for that boy begging, Ivan would've been alive" She scoffed, I heard her keys jangle as tears welled in my eyes.</p><p>"Maybe if it weren't for you arguing, he could've paid attention to the road!" He yelled, grandpa rarely yelled.</p><p>"You already know old man that this isn't my fault!" She hit the door, the keys jangling as her heels slowly clacked into the van.</p><p>"Didn't even say goodbye, сука" He mumbled a cuss word under his breath, "Don't ever come back, Yuri deserves a real parent!" He slammed the door so hard it broke one of the frames on the wall.</p><p>I cried silently against the wall, this was all my fault, dad was dead because of me. I hiccuped on tears, my cat piddling down the hallway to get in my lap.</p><p>I cried so hard in her fur, no sounds came out. It was my fault-</p><p>
  <em>My own fault </em>
</p><p>
  <em>My fault</em>
</p><p>"Yurochka, don't listen to anything, you are special and loved more than anyone" My grandpa kissed the top of my head, scooping me up into his lap.</p><p>"Its my fa-fault" I seeped in my own pity.</p><p>"No it isn't, it's not your fault, she wants someone to blame" He explained, petting through my hair.</p><p>
  <em>Its my fault, </em>
  <em>that's</em>
  <em> a lie.</em>
</p><p>-<br/>"I believe Yuri should join me in St. Petersburg, he has exponential talent, enough to be a future Olympian skater" Yakov explained to my grandfather.</p><p>"We are, uh" My grandfather stood up and walked me out, I was nosey enough to stay, listening to them through the door.</p><p>"We are very short on money, the government only gives me so much, moving to St. Petersburg is impossible" He said lowly.</p><p>There was a silence, "I am confident in Yuri's talent that he'll be able to pay that back with winnings after a few tournaments" Yakov mentioned.</p><p>"We don't have that kind of money now-"</p><p>"I will pay, there is only one skater that is anything like Yuri, you've heard of my biggest protégé, Viktor correct?"</p><p>"Yes, I have, but you are being awfully generous-"</p><p>"I believe Yuri could surpass Viktor, and I mean it" He said, dead serious.</p><p>Surpass Viktor Nikiforov? Thats impossible! He was the youngest to win a gold medal in the 2004 Olympics! The youngest and most talented skater in all of the Grand Prix Final. Was this guy insane??</p><p>"There's nothing to loose here, you'll be able to move with loaned money, Yuri will have access to all of my offers, and he'll be exponentially successful" He sat back in his chair.</p><p>"I would do anything for Yuri to be happy in the future"</p><p>"Then we have a compromise" He chuckled out, "I'll be looking forward to doing business with both of you"</p><p>I heard the door open behind me, "Yurochka, we're moving back to St. Petersburg" He smiled.</p><p>I had to do my best to live up to those expectations. No matter what I had to keep this up and get all that money back that was spent on me. My talents relied on that promise, they circled my mind, cultivated its reliability.</p><p>"Really?!" I faked my surprise.</p><p>-</p><p>"You're really good!" He clapped, Viktor Nikiforov was praising my skills? How was that even possible?</p><p>"It wasn't that good" I fiddled my thumbs.</p><p>"No, don't flatter me, you were amazing!" His bright smile lit up the room. Why did his hair twinkle, why was he so goddam pretty?</p><p>"I guess it was pretty amazing" I bit my lip.</p><p>"See? Doesn't it feel good to compliment yourself?" He asked.</p><p>"Yeah" I smiled a little, thinking about things, "I just sometimes wonder-"</p><p>"Wonder what?" Viktor asked, and I skated off the rink, I hesitated, thought about it.</p><p>"If I'm so amazing, why couldn't she stay?" I looked up into his ocean-grey eyes.</p><p>"Who?" His expression changed, a more dark, saddened face.</p><p>"My mother" My eyes trickled down to the floor, and my blood boiled at that grey concrete. I swiftly went over to my guarders, a slight stomp in my feet.</p><p>"You tell me" His voice was soft, sad, unlike I've ever heard him before. "We're in the same boat, my mother hates me too" He mentioned, I heard the plastic of blade guards clack gently over to me.</p><p>His hand rested on my shoulder, his fingertips were cold, lithe, with manicured nails. "Please don't act like you know me" I harshly said, tears welling in my eyes.</p><p>"I'm not, but you need to know somebody is there for you, you're only 7" His eyes worried, why was he so goddam worried? Why haven't I pushed his hand off? Its all too much-</p><p>His arms wrap around me, he smells like cold winter, like a thistle, or an early bloom flower, that tiny scent before it warms. I'm crying worse, worse than ever before, I want to keep crying. His hands pet over my hair, my head resting in his chest.</p><p>"Its okay, its okay, you'll be alright..." He kept whispering, why was his hair so soft, I just keep making a scene like a baby-</p><p>-</p><p>"Its okay, you're gonna be okay" He wiped my tears, his hair was short now, the same ocean-grey eyes.</p><p>"She's here, she's here, I-" I was panicking, my whole body felt like it was going to fall apart, cracking under my toes.</p><p>"We gave to go out there, alright, you have to come with me" Viktor took out a clip and pinned my bangs back.</p><p>"Okay-" I hiccuped, he wiped my tears and powdered my face.</p><p>"I won't ever leave you, you can stay right next to me, nobody will touch you" He swore, hugging me, I pushed my face in his chest, "Watch the suit, that powder isn't translucent"</p><p>I laughed, pulling away, luckily none got on his jacket. "Sorry" I looked up into his eyes, his arm reached around my back, leading me down the carpet.</p><p>Lights were flashing, he always had a perfect smile. <em>Always so goddam perfect</em>, a simple glace to me, told a few sentences to smile, pose, just as he taught.</p><p>"Viktor Nikiforov, are you going to be overveiwing Yuri Plisetsky's debut?"</p><p>"I will, Yuri is a wonderful skater, no doubt that he'll be the next man to beat" He looked down at me, "I'm not really sure he'll actually need my help, he's so advanced already"</p><p>"You believe that for sure?"</p><p>"I bet money on it" Viktor said with a little a smirk, moving along the carpet.</p><p>Viktor was used to this, Met Meetings, red carpets, being invited to large parties around the world. He was charming, beautiful, elegant and could socialize with anyone.</p><p>He saw me as a little brother, someone he loved as a sibling. He protected me that way, treated me with respect, like someone I could look up to. It wasnt like an idol, or a mentor, it felt more close than that.</p><p>I knew deep down, Viktor would marry a beautiful woman or man, but, god...</p><p>Just like everybody else, I didn't feel the way he felt about me. I know, with years, I'll look back and laugh that I had a crush on Viktor Nikiforov, because he's 12 years older than me and this is ridiculous.</p><p>That didn't stop my damn hormones though.</p><p>"Who is she?" Viktor whispered in my ear, "So I know to avoid her"</p><p>"Loofa, long turqiose sequin dress" I mumbled.</p><p>"Anya Kabaeva?" His tone was shocked, "She said her husband and her son died in that car crash"</p><p>"Yeah, well when you're son's a nutjob after his father's death, I'd pretend they were dead too" I scoffed.</p><p>"You don't deserve that, nobody does" He whispered, walking me more down the carpet-</p><p>-</p><p>"Why couldn't she stay?!" I screamed.</p><p>"Yurochka, its okay, calm down" He tried to hug me, I pushed him off gently, sinking into a chair.</p><p>"Did I do something wrong, why wasn't I good e-enough?" I sobbed, "It was my senior debut, the least she could do was be in the crowd!" I cried.</p><p>"Yura, you're amazing, so amazing..." He caressed my face, pulling me into a hug, "Ivan would've been so proud"</p><p>"Dad's dead" I deadpanned, I sniffed.</p><p>"He loved you so much-"</p><p>-</p><p>"Yura"</p><p>-</p><p>"I know" I wiped more of my tears, "Its my fault-"</p><p>"Don't you ever say that!" My grandpa snapped.</p><p>"Its true"</p><p>-</p><p>"Yura!"</p><p>-</p><p>"I can't believe she made you believe that, she's an awful woman"</p><p>"I'm sorry" I hiccuped.</p><p>-</p><p>"Yuri!" He shook me awake.</p><p>"Sorry" I mumbled, sitting up in the bed, his hand landed on mine, rubbing my back.</p><p>"What's wrong? You were crying in your sleep" He kissed my cheek.</p><p>"Its just, my dads death anniversary, ya'know" I lifted off the hotel bed, "Just happened to land on the same day as the Met Gala, huh?" I laughed.</p><p>"Yura, please" Beka grabbed my hand, "Don't go and hide, please talk to me"</p><p>"I just want to take a shower, sorry I don't enjoy the feeling of crusted after-sex" I rolled my eyes, jerking my hand away.</p><p>"Yura" He grabbed my arm, "We can shower together" He gently smiled, trying to ease the mood.</p><p>"Beka, I don't-" I slipped up, now he knew something was wrong.</p><p>"What's going on up there? you're usually totally up for showers together" He looked in my eyes.</p><p>I beaded tears in my eyes, looking away, back and fourth, it was tearing me apart. I couldn't be vulnerable, not again, I was too dependent on Beka.</p><p>"Kitten, please, whats wrong?" He caressed my face.</p><p>"I already told you what's wrong" I huffed.</p><p>"Its more than that" He saw right through me.</p><p>"My mother comes to the Met Galas" I sighed, holding back tears, "It's not like it matters, I'm just cautious" I chuckled.</p><p>"Yura..." He pushed my bangs aside, pulling me into a hug, "It's gonna be okay" He kissed my cheek, his hands caressed my spine in a way that made me feel loved.</p><p>"Stop" I pulled back, "Just, leave me alone" I sighed, giving him a soft peck before trying to head back to the shower.</p><p>He grabbed my damn hand again, "No, Yura, you're in pain, and worrying me" His tough gentle hands petted mine.</p><p>"Beka-"</p><p>"Please, stop bottling everything in, let me help you" He rubbed my shoulder, staring into my eyes.</p><p>"I don't want to-"</p><p>"Yura, I'm your boyfriend, its my job to help you through things" He sighed, trying to ease into another embrace.</p><p>"Stop" I pushed him back again.</p><p>"Yura-"</p><p>"Just fucking stop!" I screamed, immediately regretting my actions as I finally looked into Beka's eyes. He just wanted to help me, but this is something that I only trust my family with.</p><p>"I'm sorry" He mumbled, tearing up.</p><p>"Otabek, you're fine, I'm just scared, this is a part of me I really hate, it makes me angry, push away people, treat my loved ones terribly-" I trailed, "And I'd rather have some space, than hurting you anymore than I have"</p><p>"I love you" He kissed me, "So much"</p><p>"I love you too" Pressing my forehead against his, I slowly backed out, heading towards the bathroom.</p><p>I turned the water on, letting it heat up, I sat on the toilet and teared up. It seems like all I've worked for is nothing, nothing everytime I see her face, everytime I have to acknowledge her presence.</p><p>Everytime I look in the mirror, all I see is her, her blonde hair, her cat-like shaped eyes. Her beauty is passed its limits, I all got it, like a fucking printer.</p><p>The only difference between us is my masculine features, but even then, I think I got it from her side. I got my father's eyes, the cyan-green bright eyes that screamed kindness, he was a wonderful man.</p><p>Everyday I try my best to not be Anya, but everyday my Grandpa compared her to me. At least, they were the good things about her, how she lights up a room, or her playful bickering that I picked up. Her smile, and her laugh, I remember some good things.</p><p>How she used to read me to sleep, going to America and all over Europe for meets. She loved my father so much, I know she did, I just, I want to find why.</p><p>The whole world thinks I'm dead, I used to be Yuri Kabaeva, no one ever knew my father's last name used to be Plisetsky. So it was easy to say I died.</p><p>I just don't understand, I don't get how she could hate me. I was something to be proud of now, I had celebrity status, maybe, she was too far in the lie to back out.</p><p>I stepped in the shower, last night's remains slowly washing away. I thought of how Beka loved me, how he took care of me. He was silent when he needed to be, and oh so talkative when he was excited, or when something important comes up.</p><p>I loved how he knows exactly where to touch to get me going, and its not like simple sex. To care about someone, to love them, really be there, sets so much power into that.</p><p>
  <em>Honestly, </em>
  <em>I'm</em>
  <em> starting to sound like Viktor.</em>
</p><p>I stepped out of the shower, throwing a towel on to get my clothes, as I stepped out of the bathroom, I jumped, "What are you doing here?"</p><p>"Otabek asked me to come down to check on you" His blue eyes flickered to mine.</p><p>"I am naked!" I screamed, holding to towel closer.</p><p>"So?" He shrugged, "You're acting like I haven't seen shit before" He chuckled, "like we didn't go in rink showers, or onsens, or Yakov's bathroom together when you were little-"</p><p>"Look away!" I yelled, "I don't care"</p><p>"Alright, Alright" He turned towards the wall, I stomped to the bathroom and put on my clothes, stepping back out.</p><p>"Can I look?" Viktor sighed.</p><p>"Da, you asshole" I rolled my eyes and sat on the bed, his face changed to worry, "Where's Beka?" I looked up.</p><p>"He's going to get ready" He sighed, "Remember, he had his appointment earlier"</p><p>"And the piglet?" I shrugged.</p><p>"Back in our room, he understands that you need me" His hand rested on my back.</p><p>"Do you remember my first Met?" I asked.</p><p>"Yes I do?" He rubbed my back in comfort.</p><p>"I had a crush on you back then actually" I laughed to myself.</p><p>"Yeah, I knew" Viktor chuckled with me.</p><p>"Why didn't you say anything?"</p><p>"Would you really want me to ask you, and let you down with embarrassment?" He asked.</p><p>"You're right, that would've haunted me forever" I nodded.</p><p>"It was cute, but you definitely are like a little brother to me, so at the same time, it was disturbing" He giggled.</p><p>"Thanks for letting me know it was disturbing" I sarcastically rolled my eyes.</p><p>"Always" He elbowed me, we laughed together.</p><p>That laughing cake down to the same feelings "Sorry, I just, wanted something to distract myself with"</p><p>"Its okay" He pulled me into a hug.</p><p>"I love you, Viktor, like family" I mumbled, tears running down my face.</p><p>"I love you too" He rubbed my back, "My baby brother" He teased.</p><p>I laughed a little through my tears, "Asshole"</p><p>"Thats my job" He rubbed my back more, tears starting to fade as his pets got more and more frail, slowly down into a long hug.</p><p>"Viktor, I don't know if I can do it"</p><p>"Do what?</p><p>"Talk to her" I mumbled, "I have to, its tearing me apart not to know"</p><p>"Alright" Viktor said, "I'll help you, if that's what you're asking" He whispered.</p><p>"Thank you" I sighed.</p><p>"I'm always here for you" He mentioned.</p><p>"Me too"</p><p>-</p><p>Viktor drove me and Yuuri to the fashion studio where a bunch of makeup artists and top fashion designers would be dressing us up.</p><p>"I'm super nervous" Yuuri had early jitters and his own problems as well, it was his first Celeb meeting, and with that disaster of anxiety; I was sure to rely on Beka more than Viktor for my plans.</p><p>"You have nothing to worry about, you're gorgeous, and everybody loves you" Viktor smiled, giving Yuuri a soft kiss.</p><p>
  <em>Gross</em>
</p><p>"What if I trip? What if I get a weird photo taken of me?"</p><p>"Number one, you would be the first, and number 2, everyone gets weird photos from the gala"</p><p>"Its true" I added in, "Even Viktor has some weird photos"</p><p>"Wait, what are they putting us in?" Yuuri asked.</p><p>"Honestly, that's the fun part, you never really know, but usually its amazing" Viktor smiled.</p><p>"Lets go Piglet, you'll be fine" I got out the car, going inside the studio, I checked in and waited, while the other 2 followed behind.</p><p>"You'll be fine" Viktor squeezed his hand, "You'll have me, alright?"</p><p>"Alright" He sighed.</p><p>"Yuri Plisetsky?" The lady called back, behind the curtain was a huge hall of dress cubicles, makeup booths and top celebrities were seen left and right.</p><p>That was the fun part, I got to see the other Celebrities before they stepped on the floor.</p><p>First one I noticed was Rosie Huntington, a huge halo being placed on her head, with a beautiful train following behind. Then Nicki Minaj getting her makeup done.</p><p>I got a few stares, trying to pinpoint who I was, and when Viktor walked in the room, it clicked to everyone.</p><p>"Yurio!" I turned my head to see Christophe in bright pink glossed eyeshadow.</p><p>"Hey" I nodded towards him.</p><p>"Show me your outfit when you're done!" He yelled as I passed by.</p><p>"I will!" I laughed, the lady sat me down.</p><p>"Your makeup Artist will be here soon" She gave me a quick smile.</p><p>"Alright" I pulled out my phone, sighing to myself, Otabek posted a video of him getting ready for the gala, he had gone to a different studio, his eyes surrounded by black eyeliner.</p><p>'You look sexy' I shooted a text.</p><p>"Hello, I'll be doing you makeup today" She pulled my head up a bit, setting up the chair to hold my head comfortably.</p><p>"Alright, they do have a set outfit for you, so I'll be going off of that" She brought over this cart, setting all the basics first, foundation, primer, everything.</p><p>She pulled out an eyeliner pen, putting it over my crease and down to a wing. Glitter got pulled out, setting it on my lid while she smoked out the bottom lash.</p><p>My eyebrows were groomed, and glitter gel was placed on my cheeks. I looked in the mirror, I liked it, but it was very flashy.</p><p>"Is it good?" She asked nervously, Americans were always nervous.</p><p>"I like it, it's just a lot" I gestured with a chuckle, "Gotta pull out some confidence to actually pull it off" I laughed.</p><p>"Well, I'm glad, Maria will be taking care of your hair" She went away.</p><p>'Are you okay?' Beka texted, 2 hrs ago.</p><p>'I'll be fine' I sent back over.</p><p>'I can't wait to see you, beautiful'</p><p>'I can't wait to see you' I giggled, a little mischievous grin set on me, 'maybe we could repeat last night?'</p><p>'Is someone horny?' Oh, I was feeling butterflies.</p><p>'A little' I sent a devil emoji.</p><p>'We could do that' He texted, I chuckled a little more until my head was touched again.</p><p>She spritzed water in my hair, practically soaking it, "Can I trim your hair?" She was Russian for sure, putting a salon blanket over me.</p><p>"Da" I replied, I heard soft snipping, hair falling to the ground, I looked at the logo, it seemed familiar but I can't put my tongue on it.</p><p>She turned me to do the front, shaking off all the hair at the end, blow drying it. She slightly waved it at the ends, my hair looking volumed to the max.</p><p>"Your hair reminds me of a certain celebrity back in Moscow" She said in Russian.</p><p>"Which one?" I questioned.</p><p>"Is your hair bleached?" She examined it.</p><p>"No, natural" I answered, "Had it since I was born.</p><p>"You must be pure then" She circled around me, I was getting quite ticked off.</p><p>"Pure what?"</p><p>"Pure Euro Russian to have such bright natural locks" She gelled up her hands, running it through the top of my head.</p><p>"I am full Russian" I smiled a little.</p><p>"Your hair is like, Anya Kabaeva" She said, it hit me, I recognized her, she was my mother's designated hair stylist, "Ever heard of her?"</p><p>"Who hasn't, she's an icon" I said sarcastically.</p><p>She laughed, "I like your spirit!" Gelling more of my hair, "Actually I just came from styling her hair for the Met" She held my head as she looked in the mirror, "I bet you get compared to her a lot, you look identical"</p><p>"You aren't the first" I smiled, she braided my hair in different places, "Isnt that the same Celeb that all her family died?" I was curious, so curious, because all my mother did was talk about her life in that salon chair.</p><p>"Poor woman, yes, right in front of her eyes, her son was so young-" She sighed to herself, "She says she'd do anything to have them back"</p><p>I chuckled, wrong timing, "Sorry, I thought of something funny in my head"</p><p>"No, you're fine, and I'm all done anyways" She put her hands on her hips, "If you could tell Anya I'd be happy to come to America again" She smiled.</p><p>"I will" I stared at the mirror, my hair was slicked, swept to the side, and triple braided to the side, I wanted to smash the mirror, I looked like her.</p><p>"Are you ready to be dressed?" The same escort woman tapped on my shoulder.</p><p>"Yes" I smiled, she leaded me to the dressing plates.</p><p>She left as I stood on the plate, Yuuri right next to me, soft makeup was placed on his lids, and his hair was slicked back like competition.</p><p>"Woah, they really went hard on you" Yuuri looked at my makeup.</p><p>"Yeah, it was, but it is the Gala after my Senior Debut, so its gotta be dramatic" I smirked.</p><p>"Yeah, there's glitter in my hair" He pointed, it was black glitter, but you could barely see it.</p><p>"Looks good" I smiled, a man walked up on the plate, he cut my shirt off, it was cheap so I didn't care.</p><p>"Are they going to cut my shirt?"</p><p>"You're wearing a button up" I laughed, "I brought this cheap shirt on purpose"</p><p>He put a black button up, I took my pants off, a divider being placed on all sides, he put this designed paisley velvet pants and vest on.</p><p>The shoes plain black with a glitter designed top. The dividers dissapeared as he put on this huge jacket, glitter lined in the same as the shoes.</p><p>I was thinking this was pretty mild until they brought this huge lace train to attach to the shoulder jacket. A chain being placed over the shirt, chain earrings being added to the final look.</p><p>"Wow, you look like Lucius Malfoy and Snape had a baby" Christophe laughed.</p><p>"Yeah, and you look like a barbie pepto bismol" I laughed.</p><p>"Good roast" He nodded.</p><p>"I try" I stepped down, "Are we waiting for Yuuri?" I asked.</p><p>"Ja"</p><p>The dividers moved, a feathered crown-like headpiece was applied to his hair, dark red undertones were under the large raven feathered mesh cloak. His suit underneath was sleek and a shiny leather vest was placed under, the shoes matching, his earrings ruby and a chain choker.</p><p>"I wondered why they gave me just a simple sleek look" Viktor said beside us, stepping up to Yuuri, giving him a kiss on the hand.</p><p>"Is it too much?" Yuuri looked around for a mirror.</p><p>"You look gorgeous" He smiled.</p><p>"We match" Yuuri looked at Viktor's outfit, it copied Yuuri's main fit, although the chains were on the sleek jacket.</p><p>"Ja, zey do zat to couples, zey always match, I wonder how my husband will look" Christophe giggled.</p><p>"You look amazing Yurio" Yuuri smiled at me.</p><p>"Thank you, and you both look amazing, like regular" I chuckled, it was almost time for the Gala.</p><p>"Vell, I'll see you all at ze event, my limo is here" Christophe walked to to door.</p><p>"When is our limo-" Yuuri whispered to Viktor.</p><p>I looked at my phone, a text from Beka-</p><p>'I'm here'</p><p>I looked up from my phone, he was sexy, and that was an understatement. He had the same paisley velvet, but on his jacket and pants, his vest was lace, and topped with a glitter bow. His hair was gelled to the side, soft glitter on his cheekbones.</p><p>"You look beautiful" Beka smiled, a visible blush on his pale cheeks.</p><p>"You look sexy" I smirked.</p><p>"Yeah, kinda feel sexy too" He giggled, holding my hand, he pulled me close. "Are you okay, sorry I backed out, I just felt like Viktor was a better option" He rubbed my side.</p><p>"Yeah he helped, but he's preoccupied" I rolled my eyes towards the touchy couple.</p><p>"I'm here for you, always"</p><p>"I'm sorry for yelling at you" I whispered, he sighed a bit.</p><p>"You're fine, let's get in the limo"</p><p>-</p><p>There was a line to the red carpet, my hands linked with Beka's I really wanted to lean my head on his shoulder, but I knew it would ruin my makeup.</p><p>I was tense, it was always foreign Actors and Actresses before sports, I could see her hair. Her damn hair moving, and her white outfit.</p><p>"Its okay" Beka kissed my neck, I know he did that not to mess up my makeup, but it made my heart flutter.</p><p>"I can't wait to get back to the hotel" I sighed out.</p><p>"I know" He kissed my head.</p><p>"No, I want you to fuck me" I whispered, his face became bright red.</p><p>"Jesus, your libido is crazy sometimes" He whispered.</p><p>"It kind of is, I'm having a panic attack on the inside while wanting to be dicked down" I laughed, elbowing him.</p><p>"We're almost up" He gestured to Viktor and Yuuri stepping on the red carpet.</p><p>"I'm scared" I held his hand tight.</p><p>"Don't be, you look so much better than her" He laughed, "Honestly"</p><p>"You're right" I petted his hand with my thumb.</p><p>"Yuri Plisetsky and Otabek Altin!" The announcer said, I saw Christophe and his husband.</p><p>There were so many flashes, god this carpet was long, Otabek pulled me in by my waist, fucker did that on purpose. His hand rubbed my side, I'm so glad this vest is long.</p><p>I tried to focus on the carpet but I could see her posing several couples in front of me, my heart fell. Who was that with her?</p><p>She's never had anybody since my dad, I tried my best to conceal my emotions. This was my moment, my time, mine and Beka's performance, she shouldn't matter.</p><p>"What's wrong?" He whispered, smiling for photos in between, "I can tell you're faking that smile"</p><p>"She's got a new guy" I whispered, smiling again, "Is it noticeable, my smile?"</p><p>"Not to others, but I could tell you were pissed" He posed, pulling me in again, a soft kiss, my eyes fluttered.</p><p>"I'm sorry" I whispered.</p><p>"Its fine" He pecked the side of my head, moving forward.</p><p>I pushed her out, my mother, focusing on the part I was playing. Constantly posing was exhausting, but it was worth all those photos. I just needed to breathe, needed to calm my nerves.</p><p>I wanted to fucking punch her, pour punch all over her white fucking dress. And she'd deserve everything, pretending I'm fucking dead, I have pictures to prove you're my mother.</p><p>As soon as the red carpet ended, my face turned sour, I was pissed. Not just a little bit, she got a new fucking life, new boyfriend, new fame, new face, and I had to blame myself for her problems.</p><p>"Yura, you're radiating anger" He rubbed my side, I was boiling.</p><p>"Yeah, I fucking am" I snapped, in a dark raspy tone I haven't used since a long time.</p><p>Otabek mentally flinched, as we headed to the table we were assigned, with Christophe, his husband, Viktor, and Yuuri.</p><p>"I'll go get us something to eat" He kissed my cheek.</p><p>"I saw" Viktor was also visibly pissed.</p><p>"It is taking all my fucking being not to pour wine on her damn dress" I laughed.</p><p>"Who is your mother?" Yuuri asked.</p><p>"Anya Kabaeva" I slithered her name and dragged it in mud.</p><p>"Who is that?" Yuuri asked.</p><p>Me and Viktor laughed at the top of our lungs, choking, yeah, I wish Yuuri would tell her that.</p><p>"Stop laughing" He pouted.</p><p>"Shes a world famous star from Russia, she's even been in a few Fast n Furious movies" Viktor explained.</p><p>"Oh, alright"</p><p>"I wish I was you Yuuri, I wished I never knew her" I swirled water, staring at her, I was burning the back of her head with my eyes.</p><p>"You deserve to be mad" Viktor said, "Especially after finding out she has a new boyfriend"</p><p>"Make that husband" I chugged my water, watching that stupid blonde fucker get on his knees for her, flashing lights.</p><p>"Yurio-" Viktor warned, "Please control your anger"</p><p>I got up, Viktor getting up to try and stop me, I was walking so fast, the table was filled with other Russian celebrities. My heart was beating so fast, like a fucking drum in my head.</p><p>I breathed, a deep, unnoticeable breath, I noticed a familiar face, Uncle Yasha. He wasn't a real Uncle, just a fake friend of my mother's.</p><p>"Yuri Plisetsky, what a surprise, its so nice to meet the boy who represents our country" A man held out his hand, I shook it.</p><p>"I just thought I might come talk to some of my country's other celebs" I smiled.</p><p>"You're welcome at our table anytime, and especially Nikiforov, such respectable people for Russia" Another lady smiled.</p><p>"Anya, I just saw you got proposed to, so exciting" I smiled, her cloned condescending smile.</p><p>"Yurio-"</p><p>"Viktor, what a lovely surprise, its been a while" A girl smiled.</p><p>"Natasha, it has been a while"</p><p>"You know, its too bad Yuuri got his hands on you, guess we just didn't work out" She pouted.</p><p>"Sorry, I'd love to catch up but-"</p><p>"You know its so funny Anya" I laughed, staring in her eyes, she was burning with embarrassment, "I thought you would at least introduce your son to your fiance-"</p><p>"Yuri-" Viktor pulled me up.</p><p>"Anya's son is dead, how dare you!" Natasha yelled at me.</p><p>"Is he, is he fucking dead?!" I yelled.</p><p>"Yuri!" She stood up, "This is disgusting, how dare you make accusations about me!" She yelled.</p><p>"Do any of you know Ivan's old name, before the marriage?" I asked the table, they all looked confused, especially her new fiance.</p><p>Viktor stood back, it was too late, She kept quiet, "What was it?" Natasha asked.</p><p>"Yasha, you know, right?" I was shaking, there was cameras.</p><p>"What was it Yasha?" The table asked, Anya stared at him, almost begging.</p><p>"I'm sorry Anya" He sighed, "This is fucked, even for you"</p><p>"Anya, please tell me you didn't kill your own child" Natasha gulped, the table all looked away.</p><p>"Of course not!" She screamed.</p><p>"You know, I never got you, your son is successful, beautiful, amazing, one of the top athletes in the world, why would you be so embarrassed, do you feel guilt?" I smirked.</p><p>"Shut up!" She yelled.</p><p>"Is it cause you argued with dad on the road that morning? That morning the car flipped?" I chuckled.</p><p>I felt a slap against my face, my cheek stung, it stung so bad. But I just accepted it, "You're disgusting, if it weren't for you begging to see grandpa we would've never been on that ro-" She covered her mouth, her friend's jaws dropping.</p><p>"You're really blaming a 5 year old for the death of your husband?" I laughed, "But the great thing is, all of Russia knows I'm your son now, and you get to sit in it" The words escaped my lips like a snake.</p><p>"Anya-" One of her friends, looked at her in disbelief.</p><p>"I just want an answer, why did you leave? Why did you pretend I didn't exist?!" I felt my tears fall down my face, "I should hate you, but I can't help imaging you the way before dad, when you loved me-"</p><p>"I've always loved you!" She screamed, "Now I've dug a hole too deep" She fell in her chair.</p><p>"I hope you stay in that hole" I looked in her eyes, "I also hope you remember my face, this is the face of the end of your entire career" I turned away, Otabek holding me.</p><p>"I'm proud of you" He kissed my head a few times.</p><p>
  <em>Yeah, </em>
  <em>that's</em>
  <em> my mother, always playing victim.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter 25, Surrogate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>(June) -Yuuri's P.O.V.-</b>
</p><p>I moved all my stuff back here in St. Petersburg after our honeymoon, getting ready for my next competition was stressful; this time Viktor said I needed to do things on my own. That meant choreographing my free skate for the first time. Its complicated but I think I can manage.</p><p>I almost forgot to say that Viktor also started modeling, he used to do it off-competition but now it's full time. With that, he started dragging me into modeling as well, we get calls all the time, for photo shoots, makeup, fashion, the whole shabang. Its kind of fun playing dress up though, the activities make us closer.</p><p>Either way, I want to ask him an important question. I've been doing research, a lot of it actually, of how to go about doing this. I have several Surrogate's on my phone, who are happy to carry. I just need Viktor's approval, he'd probably throw a huge party or something being dramatic as he is. Maybe possibly moving to California was on that list. But asking in the first place is one of the hardest steps.</p><p>
  <em>And anxiety on top of that... Might as well die from a heart attack.</em>
</p><p>"Yes, that's perfect! More solemn!" The sound of clicking from the cameras, and blinding flashes.</p><p>"Okay, now wrap your arms around Yuri" I sighed and hugged Yurio, I was dead after this.</p><p>"Oh my god perfect!" She exclaimed, Yurio smiled even though I knew he hated this. We were currently in Malibu doing a photoshoot for GAP. It was a family clothing line for this summer. And they specifically wanted us.</p><p>Viktor and Otabek were shooting in the same building for a different line.</p><p>"Take 15!" The director shouted, I sighed loudly and let go of Yurio. He punched me lightly in the arm.</p><p>"Stupid!" He yelled, I chuckled loudly.</p><p>"What was I supposed to do? The director told me to hug you" I ran my fingers through my hair.</p><p>"Whatever, only Beka can hug me!" He crossed his arms, I nervously shifted a little.</p><p>"Hey, Yurio... Can I ask you a question?" I asked, he sipped his water bottle.</p><p>"You already asked one Pig" He laughed.</p><p>"Sorry" I chuckled nervously.</p><p>"It's okay, go ahead dumbass, knock yourself out" He sighed, and sat in one of the lounge chairs next to me.</p><p>"How do I tell Viktor I want a baby?" I asked, he spit out his drink and coughed.</p><p>"How the hell should I know! I'm 17, that's a stupid question" He scrunched his face.</p><p>"Just give me some sort of opinion" I pleaded, he groaned loudly and rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Just ask piggy! Viktor's obsessed with you, not like a baby will make that any better..." His eyes rolled like 8-balls.</p><p>"But what if I'm asking too early? What if-"</p><p>He put his hand over my mouth, "Just shut the fuck up and stop questioning stupid shit!" He yelled, taking his hand off my mouth.</p><p>"Okay.... So just ask him out of nowhere?"</p><p>"I don't care, and I don't care about the damn way you ask Viktor, I'm just here to make money off season dammit!" He yelled.</p><p>"What about asking me a question?" My eyes widened as Viktor wrapped his arms around me from the back of the chair, kissing my cheek.</p><p>"Thats it! I'm out!" Yurio got up and went across the shoot.</p><p>"O-Oh I was gonna ask you when you're break was, but obviously it's now..." I pulled off a lie. Maybe running it as a surprise was better, then I can set up an appointment. Yurio was right after all, Viktor would be happy with me either way.</p><p>"Okay?? That's all?" He questioned, I nodded.</p><p>"Yep, love you" I pecked his lips over the chair.</p><p>"I love you too" He kissed my head lightly.</p><p>"Yuuri! And Yuri! We're back on in 5 minutes!" The director called, I sighed and sipped my water.</p><p>"Okay!" Me and Yurio chimed, the voice echoing away, so I suppose he was with Otabek.</p><p>"Don't make too many sexy faces while I'm gone Yuuri, or I'll just claim them all for myself later" He teased, kissing my cheek, walking off like he always did.</p><p>
  <em>Such a tease.</em>
</p><p>I went back with Yurio to shoot some more photos which lasted an hour; I can't believe it strained on that fucking long. But, we weren't going back to Saint Petersburg that fast, so the shoot lasting longer didn't matter.</p><p>I mean which is nice, it's not like I have anything against Malibu. But the weather is kind of... Messy, let's just say, me and Viktor were on the beach, on what seemed to be a sunny day, until it turned into a hurricane.</p><p>We were staying for a week, one of the days would be a day off for me. It was honestly a perfect time for me to plan out the appointment, given that Viktor was at work.</p><p>Viktor also started getting suspicious quickly, especially with me being on the phone all the time, I keep just telling him that it's callbacks for photo shoots. He believes me, but it's very slim.</p><p>So, I called up the most trustworthy people I knew to plan this out.</p><p>"Ciao! Yuuri!" He answered.</p><p>"Hi!" I said to the group call, the second person answered.</p><p>"Hello Yuuri darling!" She answered.</p><p>"Hello Ma!"</p><p>"Who's that?" Phichit questioned.</p><p>"Valentina Vlad! I'm Viktor's Mom" She said.</p><p>"Oh yeah, I met you at the wedding! Sorry you sounded different on the phone" He chuckled.</p><p>"Yes, and it sounds like, you're Phichit" She guessed.</p><p>"Yep! You guessed right!" He awkwardly giggled again, "So Yuuri? Why'd you call us?"</p><p>"I need to plan something with you guys that I'm not quite sure how to plan exactly by myself..." I sighed.</p><p>"So, what you're saying is this plan is a multi-person job?" She asked, I hummed in agreement.</p><p>"What are you planning Yuuri?~" He mischievously sighed out, I chuckled nervously.</p><p>"Well I'll tell you what I need to do first-" I paused, pulling out my planner, "I'm going to the doctor's office, to get an implantation of my sperm to a Surrogate I already set an appointment for June 27th. And I need to plan a surprise party" I said through the phone.</p><p>"Wait what? Implantation of your sperm?" She asked as Phichit was screaming through the call.</p><p>"THEY'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY SUENG!!!" Phichit yelled out.</p><p>"What? OH MY GOD!! I'M GONNA BE A GRANDMA!!" She screamed, I held the phone away and sighed, waiting for the screaming to stop.</p><p>"Guys?" I asked as the phone went quiet.</p><p>"Yuuri darling! I'm so happy for you guys, I can't wait to spoil my grandchild!" Valentina said, I chuckled.</p><p>"I'm so happy I feel like exploding! I'm gonna be an uncle!" Phichit yelled.</p><p>"Hold on a minute I'm going to add another person to the call" I added her to the call, she answered immediately.</p><p>"Hi Yuuri what's up sweetheart? Why am I in a group call?" She asked, I sighed.</p><p>"Can you get Dad and Mari out for this quickly" I said, I started a video call.</p><p>"Okay!" She said as Valentina and Phichit went on video, along with my Mom.</p><p>"I'm slowly dying...." Phichit crackily whispered.</p><p>"Mari! Toshiya! Can you come here please!" She called them over.</p><p>"Well they're here..what did you want to tell us?" She asked as choking sounds were coming from Phichit.</p><p>"Mari, you're gonna be an aunt... Mom and Dad you're grandparents" I said clearly, my Mom's eyes lit up and Mari's face was shocked.</p><p>"Oh, my god Bro....Congrats!" Mari said, awestruck.</p><p>"Yay! Grandbabies!" My mom squealed.</p><p>"I know right!" Valentina yelled.</p><p>"Tina is that you?" My Mom asked.</p><p>"Yep! Phichit's here too!" She said, Phichit made a dying sound.</p><p>"He's unresponsive right now..." I said, they laughed.</p><p>"Okay Yuuri so about... this plan of yours-"</p><p>"What plan?" My Mom asked.</p><p>"The plan to do a surprise party about the baby, Viktor doesn't know" My mother squealed in response.</p><p>"I love parties! When do you think we should tell him?"</p><p>"I think his birthday....." I said.</p><p>"Oh my god yes! That's perfect!" Valentina screamed.</p><p>"We could reveal the gender then" I mentioned.</p><p>"That is true" Phichit added in as if he wasn't gasping for air a second ago.</p><p>"Well when the time comes, we need to plan a birthday party, Valentina, I think you should carry in pink or blue balloons-" I trailed off</p><p>"I hope it's pink balloons!" She said.</p><p>"Mom, you should plan the party itself, I also need to get a separate bank account, so Viktor can't see the missing money in the bank account we have"</p><p>"Okay, but um Yuuri how much is all of this gonna cost?" My Mom questioned.</p><p>"About 500,000 yen in Japan Mom..." I said, she gasped at the amount.</p><p>"And about 2,850,000 Rubles in Russia, I think-" I calculated in my head.</p><p>"Oh, that's not that much-" Valentina said.</p><p>"Not that much?" My Mom's eyes blew like saucers.</p><p>"I'm rich remember Hiko?" Valentina said.</p><p>"Oh that's right Tina" She said, I sighed.</p><p>"How much in USD?" Phichit asked.</p><p>"50,000$ dollars, I told Viktor I was out today doing Photoshoots, he'll think the 50,000 that's missing is nothing-" I breathed, "We get paid about 25,000$ per Photoshoot"</p><p>"Sounds like this plan is gonna be tricky, we have to be sneaky, he's sketchy all the time about everything, he'll notice the money gone" Valentina shook her head.</p><p>"I'll just make an excuse like the bills or something" I shrugged</p><p>"Better work-" Phichit said, "Viktor's not only a skate genius you know-"</p><p>"I know" I mumbled, "Oh! Your job Phichit, get the news out when the party's close to the date I think we should have the party December, 22" I said, he hummed in response.</p><p>"Also Yurio knows about the baby thing, but it seems like he doesn't really care enough to tell Viktor about it, he never texts Viktor unless it's about a tournament"</p><p>"Sounds good, so let's just play out this plan then!" Valentina exclaimed.</p><p>"Yep, I'm so excited!" Phichit smiled.</p><p>"This is gonna be the best party yet" My Mom said.</p><p>"Thank guys, text me if you need any info! Bye" I said.</p><p>"Bye!" They chimed, hanging up the conference call.<br/>__________________________<br/><b>(2 weeks later)</b></p><p>"So you're going to L.A. For a commercial audition? I thought you didn't like modeling?" Viktor asked me.</p><p>"That's why I took some money out of the bank-" I said, strictly.</p><p>"Oh okay, but leaving is so sudden?" He used his puppy eyes, "Don't you want me to come with you? Leaving for 2 weeks-" He sighed, "That's a long time all by yourself..." He adjusted his collar.</p><p>"Are you just worried what you'll do without me?" I cocked an eyebrow.</p><p>"Kind of, we're always together..." He pouted out a lip, "Remember those times we got separated because of cups?"</p><p>"Yes, but I need to learn to be on my own" I smirked.</p><p>"Its not just that... We do other things to refreshen as well-" He gulped, face puckering with red splotches.</p><p>"So 2 weeks without sex makes you iffy?" I chuckled, continuing to pack my things.</p><p>"No... I mean, I guess..." He trailed, becoming more red, "Fine! It's true, but I love you a lot so it's normal!" He peeped, I let out a bubbled giggle, pecking his lips.</p><p>"You'll be fine, I'll be fine... Trust me, and I'm not going alone, Yurio's gonna be there with me" I mentioned.</p><p>"Okay, I'll let you go, but know I'll call you at least once a day" He pouted.</p><p>"Every day?" I rolled my eyes in slight dissapointment.</p><p>"Okay maybe every other day... Just be careful when you're in L.A." He said.</p><p>"If anyone tries to hit me I'll send a cat after them..."</p><p>"Cat?" He questioned.</p><p>"Yurio" I said bluntly, he chuckled loudly.</p><p>"Yeah I guess you have that, I still can't believe that you're leaving in 3 days though" He pouted, I kissed his stuck out lips.</p><p>"You're okay.." I patted his head lightly, he sighed and wrapped his arms around me.</p><p>"Okay.... But give me lovies" He whined, I deepened our kiss.</p><p>"Real lovies..." He whined, with that lustful look in his eyes.</p><p>"Fine, but let me prep" I sighed loudly, dragging him to the room with me. I think that's the last time we did 'it' until the day before I was leaving.</p><p>I was leaving June 17th Sunday night, and Yurio was supposed to come today. Saturday night and I was waiting for Viktor to come back from one of his Photoshoots.</p><p>I started getting really worried, it was 11pm, he hadn't come come home yet. I even ate dinner without him. <em>And Viktor </em><em>always</em><em> came home for dinner-</em></p><p>Did he get in an accident? No, I would've got a call by now. The clock in the background clicked loudly. I didn't understand where he was, I texted him but he didn't text back, I called him, no damn answer.</p><p>
  <em>I just didn't underst-</em>
</p><p>I heard the doorknob turn as I walked worriedly to the front door. He practically fell forward, but caught himself.</p><p>"Viktor are you okay?" I asked, he nodded.</p><p>"Yuuri..." He pushed me against the wall, holding my wrists against the white color.</p><p>"Viktor what the fu-" I mumbled out before he crashed a sloppy kiss on my mouth.</p><p>"Yuuri, my beautiful fiancè" I tasted the alcohol on my tongue from our kiss.</p><p>"We're married and you're drunk!!" I yelled, he smiled brightly.</p><p>"Yeah, I am" He giggled, holding his grip tighter.</p><p>"Viktor you're h-hurting me" I struggled, he licked my neck.</p><p>"Pain is pleasure Yuuri" He whispered.</p><p>"My wrists aren't turned on" I yelled bluntly.</p><p>"Oh... Whatever" He kissed me more against the wall.</p><p>"Viktor- Stop!" I tried to push him off.</p><p>"You say stop but your body says otherwise" He chuckled, I sighed and looked down, motherfucker was right.</p><p>"Viktor, did you get drunk on purpose?" I asked, he ignored me and grabbed my crotch.</p><p>"V-" I bit down a soft exhale.</p><p>"See?" He giggled loudly, continuing to grope me.</p><p>"It's not funny!" I got angry.</p><p>"So? You're getting harder by the minute" He smirked.</p><p>"I SAID STOP!" I yelled, angrily, the door opened and there stood Yurio with his suitcases.</p><p>"Oh, hiiiii Yurioooo~" He slurred.</p><p>"What the hell are you doing to the pig?!" He yelled, violently pushing Viktor away.</p><p>"He said stop you idiot!" He pulled Viktor up by his shirt.</p><p>"I- uh" Viktor peeped.</p><p>"Take your drunk ass to fucking sleep" He pushed him to the hallway, "AND DON'T COME OUT TILL YOU'RE SOBER!"<br/>He yelled, as Otabek came through the drama.</p><p>"Katsuki you okay?" He asked me, really worried.</p><p>"Actually I'm relieved he's home, he was gone from 1 and now it's 11pm" I sighed.</p><p>"Oh I hope you don't mind but, Beka decided he's coming with us" He said, I nodded.</p><p>"That's fine, Viktor's gonna wake up a with a pounding headache though" I said, "Honestly it's a mess-"</p><p>"Give his dumbass aspirin, he'll be fine" Yurio scoffed, putting the suitcases down.</p><p>"Oh okay I hope you both don't mind, staying in the same room that is, for just tonight... We only have one guest room" I said, scratching the back of my head.</p><p>"Even if we had separate rooms he'd sneak in the other to sleep next to me"<br/>Otabek said, Yurio chuckled nervously.</p><p>"So... You guys go put all your stuff in the guest room right here while I check on Viktor" I pointed to the door on the left of the hallway, making my way to our room.</p><p>Viktor seemed to be asleep, from what I could see, until the blankets shifted slightly, and I could hear a sniffle.</p><p>"Honey?" I questioned, going to the bed and shutting the door behind me.</p><p>"I'm s-sorry Yuuri..." He was crying.</p><p>"It's fine you're drunk... I'm not gonna hold something like that against you" I rubbed his side, he rolled over as I moved his wet silver strands from his face.</p><p>"I feel awful for forcing thaaat~ I feel like I v-violated you" He sniffed, I laughed under my breath.</p><p>"I don't think you can violate your own husband, I was just really worried and you weren't listening to me-" I pet his face with my thumb, "Where the hell were you anyways?" I asked, he sighed.</p><p>"I-I think my boss said to come be with him to a-a party, I thought I texted you, must of been too buzzed to remember, sorry Yuuri" He hiccuped, I kissed his cheek lightly.</p><p>"You really worried me, I thought you were hurt or something" My eyebrows curved up, Viktor's hand reached up to my face.</p><p>"I'd never get hurt again, I love you a lot, I mean, I can't have a serious conversation while d-drunk Yuuri, I just can't think straight and my body feels hot..." He mumbled, I leaned into his touch, "Can we talk about this in t-the morning?" He smiled brightly, I nodded and kissed his head.</p><p>"I'll come join you in a bit but Yurio's here and might have a few questions for me, so just go to sleep Viktor" I put the covers over him.</p><p>"You are the best h-husband ever..." He snuggled in the blankets.</p><p>I walked out the room and went down the hall, knocking on the guest room door.</p><p>"Come in pig" He sighed, I opened the door and shut it behind me, "Is Viktor ok? And how the hell do you turn on this damn TV?!" He struggled with the thing, Otabek chuckled under his breath.</p><p>"Viktor's fine the TV remote is under the TV"</p><p>"Any Netflix or Hulu?" He asked.</p><p>"Yeah, Netflix and Hulu, they're already on there"</p><p>"Alright, whatever, you can leave I have no more questions" He sighed, I walked out the room in relief. I really hope I didn't act like that as a teenager.</p><p>God,  half the time I don't even remember 3 years ago, and neither do I want to remember a time where I was depressed. I walked back down the hall, poor Makkachin scratched at the door, I let the dog in.</p><p>Makka already went on the bed, It was funny he kind of knew exactly where to lay in between us. I went under the covers and sighed, taking off my glasses and setting them on the end table. Viktor was a light sleeper, even when he's drunk, so he woke up and turned toward me.</p><p>He sighed, and hiccuped running his fingers down my back, hugging around me. He must have been really drunk because I didn't smell champagne from his mouth, it was straight Vodka.</p><p>I'm not worried what he'll do when he's drunk, he doesn't really go to anyone else but me, to put his sexual desires on. I've never once seen that, he's not abusive either, <em>like his dad</em>, he's just straight a mess, life of the party when he's drunk.</p><p>I don't mind seeing him tipsy, but I do mind seeing the aftermath, when he's throwing up, and saying '<em>I regret everything'</em> with a splintering headache.</p><p>Now, when I'm drunk, somehow I become a high-class stripper, I've seen the videos from the reception, Barcelona, and Sochi Banquet. I don't remember my action, or what I say. Knowing that it wasn't surprising, I basically rubbed my ass on Viktor who I barely knew at the time, and asked him to be my coach. Either way I have to get some sleep.<br/>_________________________<br/><b>(Morning)</b></p><p>I slowly woke up to the silent chirping of birds, and my pots and pans were being messed with. That quiet clanking turned into throwing up into a toilet, I rolled out of bed with a throated sigh, making my way to the bathroom. Of course it was Viktor, I kneeled down and petted his back through it.</p><p>"Let it all out, honey" I kissed his shoulder.</p><p>"I'm sorry Yuuri I really mean it" He said, I pulled out Aspirin, handing him the medicine, "Thank you for everything, when did Yurio get here?"</p><p>"Last night when he pulled you off of me" I mumbled, he spit out his rinse water.</p><p>"I thought you pushed me off" He said, taking the pill.</p><p>"No Yurio tugged you off, and yelled in your face" I said, he sighed and kissed my head.</p><p>"Oh, good I got out of hand" He admitted, tinges of worry blooming on his face.</p><p>"I'd say, you were a little too drunk, handle your Vodka better, I thought you were Russian" I giggled.</p><p>"How'd you know I was drinking Vodka last night?"</p><p>"Your mouth reeked of it"</p><p>"Oh.." He chuckled.</p><p>"Can you guys just not smell bacon?, like shit!" Yurio flung the room door open, spatula in hand.</p><p>"I smelt it, but Viktor was my first priority" I said, he rolled his eyes.</p><p>"I was throwing up so..." Viktor scratched the back of his head.</p><p>"Whatever I made breakfast better thank me!" He yelled slamming the door.</p><p>We laughed and made our way back to the kitchen, Otabek was already up and on his phone. I sat down with Viktor across from each other.</p><p>"Well, serve yourselves, I'm not doing it" Yurio filled up his plate.</p><p>"He's gonna make a great mother someday Otabek" Viktor whispered, getting up.</p><p>"I heard that old ass..." Yurio squinted his eyes.</p><p>"Yura, calm down" Otabek said calmly.</p><p>"Okay..." He pouted, I got up to get breakfast, there was eggs, bacon, and whatever side thing he made, I think it was Russian.</p><p>"Thank you Yurio" I sat down.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah you're welcome, pig" He sat down, and basically inhaled the food.</p><p>"Vksno Yurio!"<br/>Viktor exclaimed.</p><p>"I'm gwuessung that was a thwank you?" He said with his mouth full.</p><p>"It's good Yura, Spasiba" Otabek said calmly.</p><p>"You're welcome, my bear" Yurio chimed, me and Viktor basically spit out our water, "Shit" Yurio covered his mouth.</p><p>"Well, um Yurio, you're growing a little too fast" Viktor said.</p><p>"I'm 17, turning 18 next year, so I'm basically an adult, and who the hell are you? Yakov?" He yelled, I rolled my eyes and chuckled.</p><p>"And last time I checked you had your first girlfriend at the age of 14, so shut the fuck up" He taunted.</p><p>"Oh yeah, well I didn't lose my virginity till I was 29" Viktor smiled, Yurio gawked at him.</p><p>"Ahem, I'll excuse myself from the table now" Otabek got up and went straight to the bathroom.</p><p>"Well that just proved my point" Viktor chuckled.</p><p>"Hey pig, can I strangle your husband to an inch from death?, just an inch, he won't die, just really hurt okay?" Yurio asked me, I chuckled.</p><p>"Of course, he kinda deserves it right now... I mean for last night" I smirked, adjusting my glasses, Viktor blank faced so quickly, Yurio just laughed so loudly.</p><p>"Wait, seriously?! Yurio? You lost your-" Viktor paused.</p><p>"I told you to shut the fuck up Vitya..." He smiled, maliciously.</p><p>"In respects Viktor, his sexual life is none of your business" I sipped my water.</p><p>"Awwww, but I wanna know" Viktor whined.</p><p>"I'll never fucking tell you, nosy bitch" Yurio laughed nervously, "I really want to kill him, luckily we're leaving today" Yurio smiled, eating more of his food.</p><p>"But-" Viktor pouted.</p><p>"No, buts!" I snapped playfully.<br/>__________________________<br/><b>(June 27th)</b></p><p>Viktor of course cried his eyes out when I left St. Petersburg for California, but some things have been interesting for this trip. I've never been to L.A. before, so people talk a lot differently here in Cali than in Detroit.</p><p>They don't really talk with an accent, and some of them are stuck up and rude, but a lot are helpful and kind too.</p><p>I swear this is the most diverse city I've ever been to, I was able to talk in Japanese with, about 10 different people. Yurio just keeps going into this place called Hot Topic, that makes me question all teenagers; the store has a corner filled with Anime, and a few recognizable bands are the only things I understand in the store. I know a couple of places but that's it, most of them home to California.</p><p>Besides the trip I'm currently sitting in this office waiting for the doctor to call me in. I've never met the Surrogate, but she seemed pretty nice on the phone, and she knew about me, she wasn't a paparazzi, so that was good.</p><p>I'll I could see outside were some people holding signs outside about god and stuff, not sure what a-b-o-r-t-i-o-n is but they seemed to be harassing every woman who walked by, ignored me though. I decided to ask the girl next to me why there were those people outside, sometimes it was difficult to understand English.</p><p>"Oh they're some god freaks that believe in anti-abortion, because the baby isn't a woman's part of the body apparently, and we shouldn't get rid of something that isn't ours" The woman seemed pretty mad about it.</p><p>"Oh, I think I've heard of that, I'm not from America, I do have citizenship though-"</p><p>"Yeah? Guess you've never heard of this then?" She asked.</p><p>"When I went to Detroit State, there were some things like this, but, where I'm from its just hush hush" I smiled.</p><p>"What's your reason? I mean for being here?" She asked, I chuckled, and then noticed her bright blue eyes.</p><p>"Nothing much just here for an appointment, your eyes are really pretty though" I said, she laughed slightly.</p><p>"Oh, I know, everyone thinks they're contacts!" She grinned, clasping her hands together.</p><p>"What's your reason for being here?" I asked her, she looked over.</p><p>"Well, I'm a surrogate, I carry babies for a living, since I'm really good with pregnancies, my husband and I decided that I should do that, I mean my body doesn't get any worse or anything from it, in fact I just become skinny again, lucky me huh?" She chuckled, I stopped in my tracks, I was talking with the woman who would carry my child.</p><p>"You okay hun?" She giggled.</p><p>"Are you Avery Smith?" I asked, maybe I was wrong.</p><p>"Avery Mary Smith is the full name! But yes, that's me"</p><p>"You're my surrogate" I said, a bit loudly.</p><p>"Wait what? You're Yuuri Nikiforov? Man! I barely recognized you with those glasses on! I mean you just look so different on Google images..." She chuckled, I laughed slightly.</p><p>"Yeah, I tend to not wear them during competition"</p><p>"So, how's your husband feel about this whole thing?" She asked.</p><p>"Oh he doesn't know, I wanted to make it a surprise" I said, she awed.</p><p>"That's so cute! I wish I thought of that for my 3rd child!"</p><p>"So, um if you don't mind me asking, what's your ethnic background so I can... I mean explain to the future kid" I was so nervous.</p><p>"Oh, I'm half Ukrainian and half Russian, But I grew up here in California, Sacramento" She smiled.</p><p>"You came all the way from Sacramento, the capital?"</p><p>"Why not? you flew from St. Petersburg right, I mean I could drive down here" She said, I mean she was right.</p><p>"We could have set an appointment in Sacramento" I said, she giggled.</p><p>"150$ to go on a plane here isn't that bad, and you traveled too right? how much was your ticket?" She asked.</p><p>"I think about 800$ in USD" I said, she gawked.</p><p>"Wow, that much... You really got this whole thing cut out for you..." She said.</p><p>"Well I am pretty good on money in that aspect" I said.</p><p>"Holy- then paying for this appointment was nothing then..." She guessed.</p><p>"Kinda, I mean it's about how much I can make in two days off of 2 photoshoots" I said, she just sat in disbelief.</p><p>"Wow... Pays to be famous..."<br/>She laughed.</p><p>"Avery Smith, and Yuuri Nikiforov" The assistant called us in.</p><p>We walked down this long hallway of doors, just like any old doctors office in Japan. We walked down into the 9th door on the left. The room was fully white, and hollow, kinda lonely, but all doctor's offices are like that. We sat for a bit until the doctor came in.</p><p>"Okay Avery, you've been through this before I'm presuming, so that's why we have two of your eggs here shipped from Sacramento"</p><p>"Yes, I have, so I know what goes down in the operating room" She said, the doctor nodded.</p><p>"As for you Mr. Nikiforov, I'm going to need a sample from you" He turned from his clipboard and opened up the cabinets, giving me a testing cup.</p><p>"O-oh"</p><p>"I'm pretty sure you know what to do, since it takes sperm to make one" He coughed, I sighed.</p><p>"The bathroom is on the right.." He said pointing to the door, I gulped.</p><p>"Make sure you don't miss the cup"</p><p>"Okay.."</p><p>
  <em>God, that was awkward...</em>
</p><p>I walked down the hall and opened up the door to the bathroom, of course there were magazines of playboy on the end table. I sat on the toilet and did what I was supposed to do, getting out the bathroom with the cup, embarrassed as crap. I went down the hall again and handed the cup to the doctor.</p><p>"Well that's more than enough... Let's get you to the operating room Mrs. Smith"<br/>He said, ushering her out.</p><p>I waited there for a good 20 minutes, and then what you couldn't believe to be the worst time to call, Viktor did just that. I couldn't ignore the call, or he'd do some crazy thing like get on a plane here, I'm pretty sure I had plenty of time, so I answered.</p><p>"Hello, my love" I said quietly.</p><p>"Hello Yuuri, how was today?" He asked.</p><p>"Well It's fine so far, just a little jumpy for me that's all"</p><p>"Jumpy huh? Well, my family has been keeping me company the whole time"<br/>He said.</p><p>"Oh wow really?"<br/>I asked, he was in Moscow right now with his mom and some of her family; a lot of the Vlad family ignored Valentina for marrying Viktor's Father, and recently found out about the incident. </p><p>So Valentina's twin sister, Kristyna has come back in touch with her, along with her younger brother and older sister. So, Viktor is meeting a lot of cousins from his childhood, including their children too.</p><p>"Yeah, they're all braggy about my wedding and how handsome you are, some of my relatives thought you were a girl at first when I showed them the photos I have of you, now they all just want to put you in a dress" He chuckled.</p><p>"Really? I wouldn't mind fitting in a dress..."<br/>I joked, he laughed loudly.</p><p>"Well I'd love to see that, plus some of them are fashion designers, we've got a lot of artists in our family" He mentioned.</p><p>"Well now you know where your dancing and art skills come from..."</p><p>"Yeah, I met my dad's brother and sister..." He said, that scared me a little.</p><p>"How were they?" I asked, concerned.</p><p>"Well, they were very worried about me, and couldn't believe my Mom put up with his mental illnesses for so long, I had no idea he even had any, well diagnosed till now"</p><p>"That man is crazy, doesn't surprise me"</p><p>"They also were happy to find me and my mom, and get this, My Aunt, Elizaveta who lives in Finland is Bisexual and has a wife, this whole time my dad was Homophobic for no reason!" I could hear his eye roll through the phone.</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"They told me he was straight out of a mad house, and my cousins just were shocked at some of the stories we told them, they're like complete opposites from my dad" He said, cheerfully.</p><p>"Wow, I wish I could've been there"</p><p>
  <em>Yeah, I was a little busy doing my own, make a family reunion.</em>
</p><p>"You can we're having another one next year in March" He chuckled.</p><p>"I'll come to that one then"</p><p>"Well I said you'd be at the next one, so you're coming... What are you doing right now?" He asked.</p><p>"Uh... Backstage at the photoshoot"</p><p>"I thought you said it was on the 26th?" He suspiciously asked.</p><p>"They expanded it..." I said in relief.</p><p>"Oh, well do good, I'm not keeping you am I?" He asked.</p><p>"No, of course not, thet don't run until 15 minutes from now..." I said, I was lying my ass off.</p><p>"Okay, well then do you want to talk to Mom?" He asked.</p><p>"Sure, I'd love to" I said.</p><p>"Ma, the phone" I heard the phone being passed.</p><p>"Yuuri darling? How's it going I mean the Shoot?"</p><p>"I'm actually in the doctor's office.."</p><p>"Really?! Did You meet her?!" She was ecstatic.</p><p>"Yep, she's got dark brown hair and bright blue eyes"</p><p>"Is she cute, and what race is she?" She asked, I chuckled.</p><p>"She's half Ukrainian, half Russian, and reasonably attractive for a female"</p><p>"Wait- Viky! Give back the phone! We were talking abou-" Her voice faded.</p><p>"What girl? Yuuri?" His voice became low and worried.</p><p>"Viktor calm down, I'm sure it's not what you think" I sighed.</p><p>"Y-Yuuri are you with woman?"</p><p>"No! Viktor... listen I was-" I stopped, I couldn't explain without ruining everything.</p><p>"Viktor Valery Nikiforov! Give me your damn phone now! Yuuri was talking to me about Halle Berry!! She was at the photoshoot you idiot!! You're so jealous all the time!" She snatched the phone away, I chuckled, god she was good at making excuses, "God you're such a pain, he wouldn't cheat on you even if his life depended on it!" She snapped.</p><p>"So Yuuri what was she like?" I swear I can just see her eyes sparking after snatching the phone from here.</p><p>"She's kinda like Viktor, except a bit more assertive" I said.</p><p>"Sounds like a perfect match for the photoshoot!" She covered up, I chuckled.</p><p>"Can you invite her to the party I'm holding?" She asked, I knew she was talking about the party that I was holding.</p><p>"Sure, I'll tell her I'll pay for the ticket and everything"</p><p>"Okay, good, I'm handing back the phone to the jealous wittle baby..." She handed the phone to Viktor.</p><p>"Halle Berry?" He asked.</p><p>"Yeah she's here, and I swore Valentina I'd give her, her number, but you got your panties in a bunch and thought I was cheating on you..." I smirked.</p><p>"Yeah, well try to imagine that from only a one-sided conversation" He sighed, I heard voices nearing the door.</p><p>"Hey, my boss is here I have to go back to shooting"</p><p>"Okay my love... Do good, I love you, kisses!" He made a pecking sound through the phone.</p><p>"Kisses! Bye" I smooched back.</p><p>"By-" I hung up quickly.</p><p>"So, Karen that's about it we'll send out an appointment schedule to your doctor's office to check for fertilization" The doctor came through the door.</p><p>"Then hopefully the little bun is in the oven!" She patted her stomach.</p><p>"We'll give you a call when we find out the fertilization results" The doctor said.</p><p>"For now, you can leave" He said, leaving out the door.</p><p>"Don't worry, I have your personal number in my phone I'll call you in a week to tell you if the little one is there or not" She whispered.</p><p>"Thank you, hey um weird question, my Mother-in-law, if the baby is a success wants you to be at the surprise party... In December in Japan" I said, she frowned slightly.</p><p>"We'll pay for your tickets and everything! Even if you have to bring your kids, my Mom runs a Hot Springs Inn so a room is no problem!" I said, she got all sparkly eyed.</p><p>"I've always wanted to go to Japan!" She squealed.</p><p>"Really? So you'll go?" I asked.</p><p>"Duh, wait but when in December?" She asked.</p><p>"The 22nd, you can leave right after and get home on the 23rd for Christmas" I said, she smiled.</p><p>"Sounds perfect, but I think I'll just get a hotel when I'm in Japan, so you don't have to worry about that, but why so close to Christmas?" She asked, I just noticed we walked all the way out to the parking lot.</p><p>"It's my husband's birthday party, his actual birthday is on Christmas"</p><p>"Wow that's cool, just text me the Deats!" She walked off to her car.</p><p>"Bye then!" She yelled.</p><p>"Bye"<br/>__________________________<br/><b>(A week later)</b></p><p>We came back to St. Petersburg on the 1st, Yurio went back to his grandpa's. Viktor was really worried about me, and hugged and kissed me when I got home, he also went over to see Chris for a bit, with his Husband and child.</p><p>Viktor is like a god-Father to that small one. We've been going all over the place again, we recently came back from Moscow. I've just been practicing in recent for the upcoming competition. This time I was set up for Euope, LA, then the final in Vancouver. But, things are pretty great, no questions asked from Viktor.</p><p>He's calmed down for now, that is until I got a phone call at dinner time, it was Karen. I knew she was gonna call today. I dropped my fork, Viktor looked at me strangely, tilting his head and all. I put down my spoon and got up.</p><p>"Something wrong?" He asked me.</p><p>"It's my boss from California again" I said, he lit up.</p><p>"Well, go answer it you dummy!" He whined, I got up and went to the bathroom answering it.</p><p>"Hello? Avery?" I asked.</p><p>"Omg Yuuri, the little one's a go getter! I don't know if I'll have twins, but I'm pretty sure that's not the case, It's like super rare!"<br/>She gleamed, I screamed slightly.</p><p>"This is so great, I have to tell my group chat about this!" I yelled in a whisper.</p><p>"How do you feel, knowin' you're gonna be a Dad?" She asked.</p><p>"I've never felt so excited... I-I'm just so awestruck!" I said, she giggled.</p><p>"I always love hearing the reactions of the parents."</p><p>"Well you'll get to see the other's in real life"</p><p>"That's gonna be great, well that's all I called for, and it's like 3am here, morning sickness sucks!" She whined.</p><p>"I hope you get some sleep"</p><p>"Thanks! But I have to go and get that sleep, so goodbye, I'll call you later!"</p><p>"Bye" I hung up, I squealed in happiness, that was it, we were going to be parents, I needed to calm down. As soon as I did I went back to the dinner table with the happiest smile ever.</p><p>"You look happy, what'd they say?" Viktor asked.</p><p>"Oh, nothing... I don't ever have to go to L.A. again" I smiled brightly, It was true I was the happiest man alive.</p><p>And the worst part, Viktor doesn't know this happiness exists till December, 22.</p>
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